Rude & Negative People Along The Way....
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The most successful people in the world wouldn't have been successful if they listened to what negative things others say on a regular basis.
Get thick skin like a rhino.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Around my job we mess with each other all day, I would venture to say the person didn't really mean anything by it , they just didn't realize how important it is to you. If you didn't know this person then that might be a different story. Just joke back and take it for what it is.0 -
I don't know what your work relationship is with this person - but i work with a group of people that joke with each other and saying something like that would be just part of a regular day.
Pretty much this. My nickname at work (I work with mostly men) is "guns." When I eat sushi I have a co-worker who will inevitably bring me a fork because he feels bad for me "no one should ever have to eat with sticks." I also get comments when I hit up the candy dish, because they know that I am the biggest offender but work really hard at not looking like it. Oh, and the sheer volume of food that I eat is a constant item joked about with my friends and family.
So I don't know your work atmosphere, but here if someone got bend out of shape over a food comment the rest of us would be pretty surprised.0 -
“Be kind to unkind people – they need it the most.” - Ashleigh Brilliant, artist and writer.0
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I don't know what your work relationship is with this person - but i work with a group of people that joke with each other and saying something like that would be just part of a regular day.
^ This.
Really, step back and think about why you are so upset about the comment. I've worked jobs where we referred to each other by incredibly insulting nick names, but we were all in on the jokes, and the stress reduction/laughter were necessary. Working and dieting can suck, so the more you can use humor and laugh at yourself, and not take things so seriously, the more you will relax and the more people will want to be around you.0 -
Op, while I do not necessarily agree with people telling you to 'just brush it off' or 'they were just joking', I will say that the most important thing to remember is the issue is with the person that said it to you. Not you. In other words, something is going on inside of them that is making them be snide to you. Almost 100% of the time it has nothing to do with anything you've done. That is the most important thing to remember.
So in this case, they probably feel some huge pressure internally about eating healthy or something. You don't (and probably can't know) where it stems from. For all you know, the person had a mother that constantly put pressure on them to be thinner and scrutinized their food choices. Doesn't matter what their issue is, the important thing to remember is it is their issue!
With that said, I highly recommend an excellent book. May be one of thebest you will ever read. It is called The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz. Esentially the four agreements boil down to this:
Be Impeccable With Your Word
Don't Take Anything Personally
Don't Make Assumptions
Always Do Your Best
But the read and explanation is excellent.
Within that, both the fact that it is their issue and that you can become a little more detached in your observation and reaction to their comments, that is not to say you do not have the right to set boundaries with people! You absolutely do and should. The important thing is to set the boundaries in a clear, direct way that are consistent with your own integrity as well.
So, for example, after her comment here, I might have asked her why she thought that was a normal lunch and if she thought I was eating abnormal lunches on other days. Depending on what she said, I might have simply stated 'I feel really good about my new culinary expansion and experimentation phase I've been exploring, but I admit I'm uncomfortable with you commenting that it is somehow abnormal. If you are saying that because it is something you are unfamiliar with, but interested in, I'm happy to swap recipes with you'. (Depending on my past experiences with the individual I might add), 'But if it is my lifestyle choice in relation to food that you are commenting on, I'd prefer you keep your thoughts to yourself as I'm quite comfortable and happy with my current lifestyle'.
Anyways, sorry you had to deal with a jerky coworker. Unfortunately there are unhappy people in the world that like to spread their unhappiness. But, there are always happy people too, don't forget. And her actions will become apparent to all sooner or later. Just make sure you keep your own integrity in your interactions, that is the most important.
I think i'm having "de ja vous" from this morning
Love your attitude by the way
to the op do what you want to do,relax it will all happen in time good luck even though i know its not luck0 -
“Be kind to unkind people – they need it the most.” - Ashleigh Brilliant, artist and writer.0
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"You cannot control the people around you, but you can control how you react to them"
"No one can MAKE you feel bad about yourself without your permission"
"Life is hard, get a helmet"
I seem to say one or more of these to myself or someone else on daily basis. To heck with what others think, do your own thing for your own reasons.0 -
Ugh, I have the same issue at work. I eat chia pudding everyday and everyday people are like "eww, what's that?" or "you're still eating that?" I try to just brush it off, but it's hard.0
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"Lions mustn't concern themselves with the opinions of lambs"0
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"Lions mustn't concern themselves with the opinions of lambs"
I love this...I have a co-worker who comes to my desk every day at lunch and asks what I'm eating..then she asks how many calories are in it! Drives me nuts! And she just did it again! Grrrr. The last thing I worry about is what someone else is eating!!!0 -
WTF is a brat?0
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mmm pita with veggies and humus actually sounds really good, haha thanks for a new lunch idea!
I thought the same thing!!0 -
i'm amazed at how much attention people pay to what's on my plate. Don't let this get you down - your results are raising eyebrows and the nosey's are just waiting to see you fall - if anything let the comment encourage you and stay consistent.0
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They're probably just insecure about their own eating habits and not aware of it. Otherwise there would be no need to mention your food at all in that context.
Obesity due to high BF% is getting to be pretty normal, too. It doesn't make it a good thing.0 -
I really struggle with how to interact with other people around my health habits, so I can relate to this. I enjoy it when people tell me I'm looking good, but I don't really want to talk about "what I'm doing differently" or what "my secret" is, or whether or not I'm working out, or what diet I'm on, or what my weightloss goals are, and I especially hate it when people call attention to my efforts in a group setting. I don't know how to react and I get very uncomfortable. I don't want it to be a big deal and a lot of people insist on making it a big deal. I try to say thank you when they compliment me and I try to say as little as possible when they make any other kind of comment about it.0
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WTF is a brat?
I'm guessing bratwurst...it's a type of sausage.0 -
"Lions mustn't concern themselves with the opinions of lambs"
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I get lots of comments and questions from people. I started losing weight, and all of a sudden a lot of people turned into the food police and experts on what I should be eating. I am at the point where if someone says something annoying or ridiculous, they get a blank stare and maybe a raised eyebrow. If I let everything everyone has said get under my skin, I would probably be curled up in a corner crying.0
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WTF is a brat?
Get out! Get out now! BLASPHEMY!!!!0 -
I'm not sure that's about you eating healthy - are you sure that it wasn't about the pita?
Around here, you'd be, "That girl who always eats pitas". :bigsmile:0 -
I'm kind of upset by a comment that was made to me yesterday and I don't know where else to let it out, so here I am...
I was eating lunch yesterday at my desk, like I always do. I normally eat a pita with veggies and hummus all wrapped up in it. A co-worker saw me eating a salad with a turkey brat/bun (I'm pretty rigid with my veggies/pita routine so they noticed it was a change.) They said "are you eating a brat?" I said "oh yeah, it's a turkey brat, it's really good". They responded with "Congratulations, you're eating a normal lunch".
First of all, WHO CARES. Second, what's "normal"? Normal to me is food that makes me feel satisfied and full throughout the afternoon. My "normal" is a pita with veggies and humus. This person has no idea how much I eat for breakfast or dinner or snacks.
After this I have just been thinking it over in my head and thinking "I should have said ____" and thinking of all the times over this past summer where I now realize they made comments that were directed at me and/or ways of mocking/poking fun at me.
I know we're all adults here, and this shouldn't bug me as much as it is, but MAN. It really struck a nerve.
Look around you at what is considered "Normal" today.....overweight, unmotivated, unhealthy. If that's normal, I want to be WIERD!0 -
You'll find some people can be very hostile to others -- usually in a passive-aggresive form -- when they've changed their lifestyle to a healthy one.
I suspect most of it is rooted in a deep-seated jealousy and feeling bad about their own lifestyle.0 -
I'm kind of upset by a comment that was made to me yesterday and I don't know where else to let it out, so here I am...
I was eating lunch yesterday at my desk, like I always do. I normally eat a pita with veggies and hummus all wrapped up in it. A co-worker saw me eating a salad with a turkey brat/bun (I'm pretty rigid with my veggies/pita routine so they noticed it was a change.) They said "are you eating a brat?" I said "oh yeah, it's a turkey brat, it's really good". They responded with "Congratulations, you're eating a normal lunch".
First of all, WHO CARES. Second, what's "normal"? Normal to me is food that makes me feel satisfied and full throughout the afternoon. My "normal" is a pita with veggies and humus. This person has no idea how much I eat for breakfast or dinner or snacks.
After this I have just been thinking it over in my head and thinking "I should have said ____" and thinking of all the times over this past summer where I now realize they made comments that were directed at me and/or ways of mocking/poking fun at me.
I know we're all adults here, and this shouldn't bug me as much as it is, but MAN. It really struck a nerve.
Normal!!! Let's talk about normal for a moment, shall we??? (As you can tell-you got my back up too lol)
Let's think about what has become normal in our society. It has become normal to eat fast food every single day and sometimes two or hree times a day. It has become normal that these same places have doubled and sometimes tripled their portion size. The plus size stores poppinup as frequent as Wal Marts is normal. Having most all of your diet comprised of processed foods has become normal. Childhood obesity has become normal. Lack of exercise has become normal. Heart disease and diabetes and premature death due to obesity related problems has become normal.
Now, let me ask you-do you want to be normal??? Hell to the No!!!! If that's normal then I'll split from the pack Thank You Very Much.
Now, remember this: what your doing IS againt the grain. It IS againt the normal and you WILL find people everywhere that will critize you for it-because people who go against the grain get critized! People will make comments about you for a few different reasons: 1. they are jealous that YOU ARE DOING IT or 2. they want to be better then everyone else (like bullies) but don't want to put the work into being better themselves so the only other option is to make others look bad.
So, the next time they tell you that what your doing is not normal you lift your head a little higher in the air, stick out your chin, look them in the eye, smile and say "thank you".0 -
"Congratulations, you're eating a normal lunch".
Let me translate for you. What she really said was, "Finally! You are eating something that I would eat. So, for once, I don't have to question whether my food choices are healthy. "Cause any other day, watching you that damned hummus would make me feel like a pig!"
Her comment did not deserve a response. Let her deal with her own food issues.0 -
I have found that many people just don't want to do the work. Lets be honest, it is easier to be fat.
I have a friend that basically told me she didn't want to hear about my healthy lifestyle changes. OK.
Really she knows she needs to make some changes of her own. I am now just continuing to do what I do and
the results speak for themselves. And guess what? Now she is talking about making some changes herself.0 -
Yep, that was rude. You were right in taking the high road.0
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Thanks to all the posters on this thread, I like reading different people's points of view and seeing the different ways to look at situations like this....Truly, thank you! I loved reading through all the comments and thought a few were extra funny.0
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It's weird how some days a comment like that can really bother you and other days it doesn't matter. I've had people bash my healthy eating habits since I was 18 years old so 25 years of hearing it from mom, dad, friends, boyfriends, co-workers, husbands, even my 14 years old son hassles me about what I eat some days. It never stops even when you're at your goal weight forever but it gets easier to deal with other people's negativity : ) and the best revenge ever is to just keep at it. When you finally look amazing (and you WILL if you keep eating healthy) some people will still say stupid nasty things but others will actually ask you for help or advice and that is the best feeling to know you're inspiring somebody else to get healthy too : )0
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"Normal" is a fairly low standard to aspire to reach. I'd take that as a compliment that I usually function so much above average that others are surprised when I lower myself to their level. (Only half kidding.)0
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WTF is a brat?
Get out! Get out now! BLASPHEMY!!!!
Or just tell me what it is? A bratwurst, as previously guessed at?
In which case, gimme.0
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