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Paying my daughter to run....

CassandraBurgos83

My daughter is your ordinary 10 yr old these days except she has scoliosis. Her scoliosis is minor and can be corrected some what with a chiropractor,basic exercise and targeted core work according to her physicians. That was not the news she wanted to hear because... she loves to be on her electronics of all types and not very active while having her momma's appetite. I had her playing soccer and she hated it bc she hates running, had her in soft ball and she thought it was boring and I was going to put her in gymnastics, but she kept breaking her right wrist... Since she has started 5th grade all she wants to do is come do her HW (which is great) and then watch TV or play games until bed... so last night I decided I need to do something different to try and motivate her. We went to the track and Oh my goodness she complained and came up with every excuse not to run until I offered to pay her $1 for every lap around the track. Light switched turned on and she immediately took off running and "Boom" 1 mile down.
Sooo next thing you know people were saying "How great it is that she likes to run" and "How long has she been running?" and when I told them what was going on they immediately changed their tune and told me I was a terrible person for making my 10 yr old exercise and how I was giving her an image complex.

Maybe I am in the wrong, but I feel as if it my responsibility to have her healthy in every aspect of her life, which should obviously include her over all health.

Replies

Faery_Dust

Most people bribe their kids. I don't see anything wrong with what you are doing except that as she gets fitter it's gonna cost you a fortune!

Blacklance36

I'm motivated by money!

Deipneus

I used to think it was a bad idea to pay kids to do what they should be doing anyway. But I've seen too many success stories to argue with it. Carry on.

Pixi_Rex

She wants to do gymnastics, but we have been advised against it due to all of her broken bones... So she said she wants to do dance and we have her signed up to start in 2 weeks. I'm praying she really likes it and sticks with it.

My niece did dance for a few years hated it but found twirling and fell in love, now she is a competitive baton twirler - that may be something your daughter might be interested in too as she likes gymnastics.

KANGOOJUMPS

i think it is a great idea, good for you.

farmers_daughter

For cripes sakes....my kids's grandpa pays them a nickel for every dandelion they pick out of his yard. Bribes are not a bad thing.

Those people are idiots who've never raised kids..or if they have thier jealous they didn't think of the idea.

Way to go MOM! Keep on keepin on. You're doing the best you can with what you have where you are right now.

deksgrl

If you see those people again, ask them if they pay their kids to do chores, because technically that's child labor. So shame on them.

I never got paid for doing chores, it's called responsibility and growing up.

I think if that's what helps your daughter run and will help her health and her scoliosis more power to you!!! She doesn't see it now, but if that helps that problem I bet she'll thank you down the line for keeping on her about that!!!

Also ask them if they tell their kids "you can't do x, y or z, until you eat everything on your plate."

MagicalLeopleurodon

I think its a good thing. My parents paid me $1 for every B, $2 for every A on report cards and wpuld take $1 back for every C.

I was a straight A student.

I dont run unless im bring chased, but i could log a few 10Ks with that kind of motivation

Maybe this will cause her to love it, or even find a sport she enjoys more!

You go, mom!

MuseofSong

I don't think you did anything wrong. You're not forcing her to do something that is hurting or scaring her. If you forced her to stay in gymnastics and she kept getting hurt (breaking bones), that'd be something else. But you're not doing that.

When there's no intrinsic motivation, you have to use extrinsic motivation.

You have a daughter, who you are concerned for, and she's earning allowance and developing a healthy habit. Good for you and her. So, what if you're paying her. Kids get paid to do chores, too.

No one tells a parent, oh you're a monster, because you pay allowance to your child to learn how to tend a yard an help keep a house clean as training for their future adult life. It's an expected norm in western culture. I don't see much difference between that and your situation.

vanillacoffee

I dont think there's anything wrong with that. A friend of mine's dad used to do the same in high school, and it motivated her. As an adult, she is still a runner. You are developing healthy habits!

Melissa22G

Heck I'd run if someone paid me a $1 a lap now

CTcutie

I was probably chubby (and definitely not athletic) at 10 and would've LOVED earning some money by doing stuff like this... I also would've loved if my mom or dad came with me! I don't recall getting money for swim team or softball, but there were ribbons and trophies to earn.

I don't see a problem with paying her for laps. If she gets doing it regularly, at some point she will likely refuse to take your money (or donate it or start saving for a car!) or find some other activity that she likes.

mmouse90

You are doing this to help with her spine, not her looks. She is not old enough to really understand the long term affects her spine has on her and that she needs to address it now to prevent issues when she is older. You are still actively looking for things that she will be interested in and wont break any more bones. You run with her. Bribe away!! Heck $1 a lap would motivate me, would you be willing to adopt me and pay me $1 a lap?

Alex_is_Hawks

i don't see anything wrong with this. However and this isn't a criticism, just a notation, part of why most of us struggle with our fitness is that we aren't doing something we love.

what happens when she gets older and has to do it for herself and no one will pay her? Where is her motivation.

Sure pay her to run, get her healthier, but maybe also look for things she will love, cause she's gonna need that later...a LOVE for it....when the money motivation is gone.

MagicalLeopleurodon

Maybe this will cause her to love it, or even find a sport she enjoys more!

You go, mom!

SoDamnHungry

It's not like you told her she was fat and "I'll give you a buck for every lap, tubby!" Sometimes money is motivation, and hopefully it'll catch on and she won't feel like she has to get paid for it.

But while you're doing that, try more sports. You may find she's more enthusiastic about sports now that she's in really good shape from doing all that running.

CassandraBurgos83

Thanks for all of the feed back, advice and suggestions

vanillacoffee

i don't see anything wrong with this. However and this isn't a criticism, just a notation, part of why most of us struggle with our fitness is that we aren't doing something we love.

what happens when she gets older and has to do it for herself and no one will pay her? Where is her motivation.

Sure pay her to run, get her healthier, but maybe also look for things she will love, cause she's gonna need that later...a LOVE for it....when the money motivation is gone.

I think the hope is that she will develop a love for it. When she discovers how good it makes her feel, I think it will be habit forming. Look at all of us on here, and shes young!

TKRV

My daughter is your ordinary 10 yr old these days except she has scoliosis. Her scoliosis is minor and can be corrected some what with a chiropractor,basic exercise and targeted core work according to her physicians. That was not the news she wanted to hear because... she loves to be on her electronics of all types and not very active while having her momma's appetite. I had her playing soccer and she hated it bc she hates running, had her in soft ball and she thought it was boring and I was going to put her in gymnastics, but she kept breaking her right wrist... Since she has started 5th grade all she wants to do is come do her HW (which is great) and then watch TV or play games until bed... so last night I decided I need to do something different to try and motivate her. We went to the track and Oh my goodness she complained and came up with every excuse not to run until I offered to pay her $1 for every lap around the track. Light switched turned on and she immediately took off running and "Boom" 1 mile down.
Sooo next thing you know people were saying "How great it is that she likes to run" and "How long has she been running?" and when I told them what was going on they immediately changed their tune and told me I was a terrible person for making my 10 yr old exercise and how I was giving her an image complex.

Maybe I am in the wrong, but I feel as if it my responsibility to have her healthy in every aspect of her life, which should obviously include her over all health.

Your daughter sounds 100% like me when I was 10 - even down to the minor scoliosis. While I was seeing a Chiro at the time, I don't remember him every tell my parents to get me involved in activities that would help my core strength (I moved to a big city after college and got a new chiro. THAT one did tell me and even gave me examples of activities. It has done wonders for my scoliosis).

My parents way of getting me away from my books and video games was basically to tell me I had to go outside and play and locking me out of the house. (This was when I was 10+. We lived in a very small town. No danger really) I didn't really know what to do with myself, so I would take my portable CD player(lol) and swing at the park for hours while listening to music. At least it was a form of physical activity. I'm not saying you should lock her out, but maybe just by forcing her to be outside, you can motivate her to find something that interest her. For example, take away her phone/games/books/etc. and take her to a park. Maybe take a ball or something with you and simply insists that you both stay there for an hour or two, even if you just sit there. If that bores her, she'll get up and find something.

This post is longer than I intended. Let me just say that I don't think you are a bad person. You are not telling your daughter to run because she is fat or that she will be fat. You want her to be healthy and follow doctors orders. So long as you concentrate on health and not on appearance, I don't think paying her to run is damaging at all. It's the same as my parents paying me for good grades I got on my report card. They didn't tell me I was stupid or deficient. They just said, here is your award if you accomplish this, and I worked hard to accomplish those grades.

jlapey

I see nothing wrong with a little motivation but how long can you keep that up. In the meantime, look for other things that she might enjoy as well. Have you considered Wii Fit? Exercise and play all in one. Good for those rainy day when she can't run.

Denisse210

Maybe I am in the wrong, but I feel as if it my responsibility to have her healthy in every aspect of her life, which should obviously include her over all health.

There is nothing wrong with that, I was told for every A on my report card i would get $5 for every B i would get $1 BUT for every C my dad would deduct $2 from my total. I was a straight A student all the way up to senior year. (i slacked off :frown: )

My little sister was overweight during this time so my mom would have her walk each dog (we had 6) around the block each day or she couldnt watch TV. she only walked, she didnt start running until she was a freshman. Now she rarely watches TV and i graduated with 3.8 GPA

mkcongrove1

http://athlete.io/5343/why-women-should-not-run/

She clearly stated she was paying her daughter to run for her back, not for weight loss... And this article was honestly ridiculous. He could have gotten his point across without being so rude.

Stage14

http://athlete.io/5343/why-women-should-not-run/

She clearly stated she was paying her daughter to run for her back, not for weight loss... And this article was honestly ridiculous. He could have gotten his point across without being so rude.

This. And regardless of the article's title, it isn't really saying it's bad for women to run. It's talking about the idea that steady cardio (in general) is a magical weight loss tool that doesn't require any nutrition discipline or strength training components. Any runner (even a newbie like me) will tell you that is crap.

WendyL525

Money talks!!! My daughter, also 10, does nothing but iPad, iPod, iwhatever she can find to play with. I, too, put her in soccer - when he was younger and the only way she'd play is if i was the coach...LOL...little separation anxiety there! Then, we tried Cheerleading "boring" then dance, she liked that, but the list filled up so we are on the waiting list.
Anyway - that kid will do just about anything for a buck....so i say - if your daughter is going to run for a dollar, start saving up ur pennies

I give my daughter money for good grades as well.....definitely motivates her!!

Nice job!!

KimJohnsonsmile

My 11 year old loves to sit on her bum too, and she's going to be someone who as an adult may struggle w/ being chubby. She plays sports, but in between seasons it's really hard to get her motivated. This past winter, my husband and I created a work-out chart for her. If she could exercise at least 20 minutes 5 days a week for 8 out of a 12 week period, we'd buy her a cell phone. She'd been begging for one for a year. We told her that she needed to get exercise to get ready for softball season. Our only stipulation was that the 20 minutes of activity had to make her break a sweat (going for a little walk didn't count). She did amazing! I workout every day, and she and I really had fun doing things together.

I want to be clear in that we did NOT in ANY way say that her needing to exercise was weight related. We are very careful to tell our kids that being healthy and stong is way better than being skinny. Skinny doesn't get you anywhere. Strong and healthy gets you places. She didn't and doesn't need to lose weight. She's 11 and she's perfect. She does, however, need to stay in shape to play the school sports she loves. And, the BEST PART is that she totally noticed the difference when softball season started. She noticed she was more flexible, could run faster, and she didn't get winded like a lot of the other girls.

So, there's my long two cents. Overall, it was a huge success.

cadaverousbones

I don't think its bad that you are having her exercise. I think you should also take away TV and electronics from her as well and only let her have them maybe 1 hour a day or so, or she can earn TV/Electronics time by doing a certain amount of outdoor time? IF she has nothing else to do, she will most likely go play outside. Would she be into dance class? I know I loved doing dance when I was her age.

ttippie2000

I resort to bribery from time to time. I have no idea if it's normal, but it works. I have my 12-year old twin boys do wind sprints against me. If they beat me they earn 50 cents. Turns out they are really fast, and I'm happy if they beat me. And they drink up the praise (and the cash) when they do. They also earn $10 for a musical performance and $20 if they have a solo.

HealthyWarrior

Personally I think its a great idea. I wonder if money would motivate my 9 year old daughter.

RenshiG

I think it is a great idea. My mom used to do the same thing.

She allowed me some freedom and "input" (very empowering, because eventually the $ by itself will be outweighted by the bordom and dislike for the exercise... it will loose its appeal!)

So my mother set up different exercising assigning them value. Ex. 1 min of jumping rope = 10 pfennig (it was German money back then), cutting the grass (small lot) = 5DM (note the exchange rate as about $1 = 2DM ... you have to figure out what is reasonable to NOT go overboard! Keep it small!), biking 1/2 hour (for exercise... not riding to school or so) = 2DM etc.
I sat down with her and brainstormed a few exercises I thought would be fun (and least painful... because I HATED running... but had to since I was a serious tennis player.... what eventually got me over to the US... but I dispised running.... soooo boring!).
We would tally everything up to a lump sum at the end of the week (for us Fri) for payout... a wonderful day!

These days we have gyms so if you have access to one with your daughter it might be easier to come up with a variety of say 4-5 things she can pick from dep on how she feels. You can even say if you attend any exercise class the gym offers (yoga, zumba etc.) you get xyz. To me that was extremely important. ONLY running would have been to frustrating and boring over time... plus honestly prob not healthy. And you never know... she might end up finding it fun to look for new things she can do... so help her\allow her to explore.

Also..... I would def set a cap! Several reasons:
1) You don't want to go broke... heh
2) You don't want her to get obsessed and overtrain (esp in the beginning... you can always adjust)
3) to me it was always fun to see whether I can break the "bank".... as in... it set a goal for me... in a sort of twisted around the back way.... I was just stubborn and tried to proof my parents wrong ("what? you think I can't get there?"). But for that again the goal needs to be reasonable... it all depends on how your daughter ticks and you are the best one to judge that.

I think the benefit of getting your daughter moving and exploring exercises and maybe finding something that is fun to her eventually (forming habits tends to have that effect) is much more important than what a few people might think. You know your daughter best... hoenestly who are they to judge? ... they don't know all the details....

Asides a lot of other kids start working for $ pretty young... doing babysitting, odd jobs etc. Those carry a lot more risk and less health benefits. Many pay their 1st & 2nd graders money for good grades... which personally I do not agree with... But again, if it works... everyone has their own ideas of what is right. It is much more important for her to not develop into a TV addicted, game playing couch potato. :-)

Just make sure you keep an eye on her habits and keep things reasonable!

P.S.: Asides... it might show her the value of $ along with the value of exercise. Double perk! :-D

cindyj7

Oh yes, I run with her! I'm hoping maybe one day she and I can do one of those fun 5k obstacle courses! She loves goofy and fun things so this would be right up our ally's! And no, I would never tell my child this is for weight loss and to look good when you're older. My family is already pre-dispositioned to diabetes, heart problems etc etc, all I want for her to be happy and healthy. Hopefully I can instill a healthy and active lifestyle that she takes with her for life.

If she loves goofy and fun things, you may want to try a Color Run.