WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR AUGUST 2013

Paula, you had very, very wise parents.

Renny

I agree..."enjoy the moments"!

Terri, from southern Oregon

It's 4:28am and I can't sleep again. After a couple of hours in the bed my back and hips are just killing me. Then I lie there trying to get comfortable till i just cant stand it anymore and then give up. It been like this off and on for a couple of years. We have changed mattresses three times but I'm beginning to think its not the mattress at all. Our last new one was a month ago, and it felt so good in the store that I told hubby I thought I could sleep on this one all night. Wrong. I do have arthritis in my hips (and other places) so it may just be from that. No amount of pain reliever even touches it either. The only thing I can do is get up and sit in a chair. So, needless to say, I don't get enough sleep. Hubby doesn't sleep either, with me rolling around like a marlin. But he's so sweet about it. He doesn't sleep well with me gone from the bed either. Especially when the dog takes my place in the bed, which she has done now. She's a little bed hog.

So, I'm sitting here in the middle of the night reading about you ladies lives, about sick sisters and husbands, and rapes - both physical and emotional, and it just breaks my heart. I hope you all find some peace and relief very soon.

Reading about the joy of spending time with grandchildren is near and dear to my heart. Mine have only been back in my life for a month, but they have meant the world to me. I told you there was a long story behind it, and since I don't have anything better to do, I might as well tell the story. I will understand if you all skip over this. It's a pretty strange tale of woe.

Several years ago, my son was married to a very mean, selfish and manipulating woman. They had two little girls, ages 2 and 1. I had bought a little building downtown where I had my pottery studio and gallery, and it had a little rental space in the front. She wanted to "rent" that space to have a candy shop. I very reluctantly gave in, they bullied me, on the condition that they pay rent for the space. When we bought the building I counted on the rent from that unit to make my part of it viable, as a pottery shop is not a real money making venture. But, I gave them a discounted rate as much as I could. Well, no good deed goes unpunished. They never paid a dime of rent in almost a year, and things got tense. They quit speaking to me, unless you counted swearing and threats to keep the girls away from me, which of course they had essentially already done. Eventually it came to a head and I had to make them move out. It was really hard. They made good on their threats and I was not allowed to see the kids again for over 5 years.

Well, it turns out that things between them were pretty rocky, and he eventually caught her cheating on him with the local drug dealer. This was after the birth of their little boy, who I didn't even know about till later. So, they got divorced, she married the drug dealer, she got hooked on drugs, and she wouldn't let my son see the kids. Meanwhile, he got remarried to a woman with a son 2 years older than my oldest granddaughter. So, just a few months ago, the ex-daughterinlaw was arrested after she and new hubby staged a home invasion robbery and she shot a guy in the leg. This was apparently the result of a drug deal gone bad. After she was arrested, she called her parents to go pick up the kids, who had been left alone, locked in a bedroom of a squalid apartment. Meanwhile, she got out on bail and she and new hubby fled that little town and came to my little town where they hid out, staying with another woman. Things fell out between them and they were asked to leave but refused. The police were called. There was an armed standoff for several hours. Eventually they were rearrested and plunked into our county jail. Meanwhile, my son got wind of this and went to court for emergency custody, which he got, and the sheriff went along to retrieve the kids.

Whew! Are you still reading? I told you it was a long story. But wait, there's more.

The ex's parents asked my son if they could visit the kids. He agreed, they ran off with the kids and hid out in yet another small town where they were located after a couple of days by the sheriff and returned to my son and his wife. At that point, they were living in a tiny two bedroom apartment about 30 miles from me (in a different county) with four kids.. The grandparents have connections with a county judge there and threatened to take the kids away again. So, they packed up and moved back to my little town to get farther from them and into a different county. So, at that point, he contacted me through a third party and asked if I wanted to see the kids. I did.

The last month has been a little bit of a whirlwind. Of course, things between me and my son are still strained. He blames me for everything that happened between him and Cruella. But, we have not talked about it and it seems like we are just going to pretend it never happened. I get to see the kids several times a week. They are settled in at their new schools, but are behind quite a bit because Cruella and the drug king kept them out of school a lot, so they have some catching up to do. The girls are 9 and 7 and the little guy is 4. He has a speech impediment so he's going into a special preschool where there is a speech pathologist. But he is so adorable. They all are. I'm having a blast with them. I get to take them swimming every Sunday at the Y. The Y let me add all the kids to my family membership, which I thought was nice.

In the meantime, my son had been working as a welder and had contracted emphysema and become totally disabled. He has such a terrible time breathing. It's just awful. But on the plus side, he is home to be with the kids. It makes me so happy when the little guy goes up to my son and leans against him and says "I love you, Daddy". All the kids are going into therapy to deal with the whole mess, but they have amazed me with their resiliency. They are still sweet, funny, fun loving kids.

Well, so much for insomniac storytelling. I think I'll try to go back to sleep.

Sylvia