Dealing With Unsupportive Friends & Family

I have had very little support to be honest. The good thing about calorie counting is that you don't really need support from others! As long as you control your portion size and limit snacking, you should have no problem fitting in your plan with others. Besides, dieting doenst have to be too hard.

It can be tough if you are counting macros, but Ive read that as long as you priotise calorie consumption that you should still lose weight as long as you continue to exercise - http://fitzim.com/lose-weight-good-macros-part-3/

Im managing to lose weight by just counting calories at the minute, though whenever possible I hit my 'secondary' targets of protein, carbs and fats like they suggest in that article. Makes things a lot easier!

MFP is your safe place where you can discuss your weight loss successes, failures, and learning experiences. I've learned that the rest of the world pretty much doesn't want to hear it. People who have seen you try and fail in the past will rub your nose in those failures. People who are envious of your conviction will try to undermine it.

Now, some of us are lucky and we have supportive people in our real life environment who encourage us. But if you don't, just keep coming back to MFP and quit going to the proverbial hardware store looking for a loaf of bread (going to historically unsupportive people looking for support).

That's my take on it.

Forget them! Pove them wrong! Show how amazing you can be!

My opinion -- misery loves company. This friend is unhappy and has no motivation. He feels threatened by the thought of "losing you" to a healthy lifestyle and wants to keep you down on his level, so to speak. He does not want to change and is afraid that if you make a lifestyle change to become healthy, you won't have things in common with him. If he continues with his negativity, just tell him to shut it and keep his crap to himself, because you are making good choices for yourself...and that if he is really a friend, he will support you instead of trying to tear you down.

You're doing the right thing trying to get healthy. It is a long, hard process and you will need support! Toxic people like that have no place in your healthy future. Either he needs to change or he needs to go.

Maybe you shouldn't tell everyone your business ....... just saying ......

I didn't tell anyone, not even my own husband, that I was changing anything ...... I just did it ...... even when I'd lost 25 pounds, and people started to notice, I still didn't talk about it.

My "online peeps" (and my doctor) are all the support I need

Make your plans for healthy eating & reasonable exercise ...... stick to them ...... and best of luck to you !

I feel that your co-worker is jealous that you are doing something about your weight. I bet the more you lose, the more negative they will get. Or at least will not acknowledge your success. I had a long time friend who told me not to be so happy because the 20 lbs I lost was probably just water. She was not happy with her weight but, wouldn't change her lifestyle and didn't want me to either. Misery loves company.
I need to lose over 100 lbs. It seems like an impossible goal. I look at all the success stories on MFP and it shows me that it can be done.

I'm struggling. Luckily I have what I consider extended family. My "other mom" is also transforming her health through dieting and exercise. We call or text each other every morning (since we don't live in the same city) and do a 30 minute workout together. Exercising sucks, but it sucks a lot less when someone is suffering with you : )

As far as the dieting goes, my coworkers are actually supportive. They offer something once and I say no instantly because if I didn't cook it, I don't know how many calories is in it. I don't actually want to say no of course, but you are so important. I pack my lunch every day so there are no excuses (plus it's saving me tons of money).

Dieting is way harder for me than the exercise part, but some things that have helped are salsa (low calorie flavor), hot sauce (no calorie flavor), and increasing my protein - egg whites, fish, beans, hummus.

You are not the only one going through this, obviously by the many responses, we all are. Hang in there, you can't do a diet... you have to make a permanent lifestyle change. Make one change every week and it'll seem much easier like baby steps : )

Good luck with everything and if you need a supportive buddy, I'm here.

I have no one to blame but myself but hearing him say "oh this will just be another fad like weight watchers or atkins or being vegetarian" actually hurts to hear.

Uh, no. You have him to blame for making jerk-*kitten* comments. You're entitled to set personal boundaries with friends, and this looks like a great place for one. Let him know in no uncertain terms that if he can't be supportive, he can keep his opinions to himself.

dont worry about proving them wrong so much as proving yourself right. if proving them wrong is a side effect, so be it.

Until I got to work. My coworker and very good friend who is very obese is a very negative person in my life when it comes to being healthy. I have no one to blame but myself but hearing him say "oh this will just be another fad like weight watchers or atkins or being vegetarian" actually hurts to hear. I need to lose weight. I need to be healthy. But having him be so negative makes me want to just give up on the spot because I think to myself that I can't change who I am or how I eat. It's so frustrating

One, that's incredibly rude of your coworker. I'm glad you are able to successfully label him as a negative person. Now the real question is, why should you let a person you've labeled negative dictate how your life will unfold? Is he really able to control your life and your results? Does he really know you, if he's so condescending of you? Should he mean anything to you if all he does is provide negativity in your life?

The answer to all of those questions is no, you shouldn't let him rule your life, because he's clearly an imbecile who only knows how to drag people down to his level. He obviously has some issues he needs to work out about his own life. But none of these are your concern. Your concern is you and your health.

So two, don't give up! If you give up, what does that prove? It only means you'll continue to gain weight, remain unhealthy, and be miserable. It means people like him will feel right in their assessment of you (even though they're not) and they'll continue to belittle you. And unfortunately, I'm assuming you're like me (because I would have reacted the same way) which means you'll feel guilty and continue to self-punish yourself. But you need to stop punishing yourself.

If you fall off the bandwagon, oh well. You can always get back on. But think of all the progress you'll make even if you fall off. Even if it's just a fad, who's to say it won't be a reoccurring one? Maybe you'll fall several times, but that doesn't mean each time you get back up is a failure. In order to make it through this weight loss adventure, you need to love yourself and be compassionate with yourself. The best way to be self-compassionate is to imagine yourself in a third person point of view, and ask yourself what you would say/think/do to comfort this person with similar situations as you. I doubt you'd laugh at them, call them a failure, or demand they give up. The same should be applied to you.

Just remember, even if you do 4 weeks of healthy eating, and a week where you fall off the bandwagon, then repeat the process five times, that's 20 weeks of healthy eating! That's better than 25 weeks of unhealthy eating (which is where you'd be at if you didn't make the switch). Your body will have some benefits from this. And you might even have some mental tools develop along the way that will drive you one step closer to succeeding all the way without falling off again.

Have you guys ever had to deal with an issue like this? I don't want to cut this person out of my life, but I can't stand hearing that I can't make the changes in my life that I need to make in order to be healthy.

Yes. I ignore them. Clearly they don't know what they're talking about OR have their own life conflicts that they're trying to deal with. It's not my problem, it's theirs. I only have control over myself and so I only control myself and let other people be who they are freely. You don't have to cut these people out of your life if you don't want to. But if you want to keep them in your life, you have to learn to agree to disagree and remember that your own self-love and self-image are what matter most.