7 Tips for Keeping Your Man (from the 1950s)

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Replies

  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    The rules have changed slightly for the modern (working) wife.

    •Be happy to see him.. This may take several cocktails.
    •Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him….more cocktails.
    •Listen to him. This should be getting easy now after several cocktails.
    •He’s coming home with a great dinner and if he’s late make sure he knows how to use the microwave to reheat; if he really comes home late and without dinner have your dinner delivered and eat without him (just be sure he pays for your dinner when he does get home). No need to try to understand his world of strain, you were out there all day too.
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
    I would rather be a spinster than a doormat. Any "man" who want that kind of woman, is not a man at all.

    Doormat ? I like making men happy.

    Did you read the thing?

    Srsly. Making men happy doesn't have to equate to undermining your own humanity.

    Yes, the only one I would not tolerate was straying. Making men happy makes me happy.
    [/quote]

    Making my man happy makes me happy too. And I don't think it undermines my humanity or integrity to dress sexy, to cook for him, to massage him, to give him space when he needs it, to let him go out without me, or to take care of the puppy in the morning so my man can sleep in. Making him happy makes me happy. Always will.

    I just also expect to speak when I need to (the "don't tell him about the pain in your arm" thing was alarming to me- what if she needs to see a doctor??) and to also be treated with respect.
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
    I would rather be a spinster than a doormat. Any "man" who want that kind of woman, is not a man at all.

    Those "not man at all" did stop the Nazis.

    Being good at war doesn't necessarily make one a man.

    What is your definition? Since, stopping the greatest evil of the last century, doesn't speak of their character at all.

    Let's not forget the country (men, women, young, and old) was at war we were all involved. You had women making the planes and munitions, healing the soldiers on the front line to help with the war efforts.

    and not to be a total nerd but I think it was the dropping of a few A bombs that won the war.

    The war effort was a team effort by the whole country, of course.

    I was just pointing out that saying those "men" weren't "men at all" for wanting their women that way is a bit ingenuous. They didn't know better but that doesn't make them bad men.

    I'm pretty sure those bombs didn't drop themselves :tongue:

    As an American History graduate, yay for history nerds :flowerforyou: !

    My grandparents were married in the early 50s. My grandfather grew up as a country boy in the hills of Kentucky and I'm pretty sure if my grandmother would have followed the advice as laid out in the original post, they never would have been together. Yes, my grandmother did most of the caring for the house hold and the family and yes my grandfather worked full time to support her and the eight children they had together. With that being said, they made decisions together and her opinion was not only heard, it was respected. My grandma is a bit of a firecracker always voices her opinions and even when she got into a couple scuffles with the neighbors over their treatment of her kids he never blinked an eye or treated her like a hysterical person. When their first children (twins) were born he would take the laundry to the laundromat every couple days to be sure that there would be plenty of diapers and he never had a problem helping out in the kitchen. They were married 56 years and loved, respected and cared for each other every day of that time. To say that men in the 50s didn't know better would be incorrect, because some did.

    Some did, most didn't. Otherwise we would have had better equality and options for women. Is it fair for me to throw a blanket statement and say that men of the time weren't "men at all" because we are basing our judgement based on the way things are now but not taking an unbiased objective view of how it was during that time.

    And your Grandpa would be considered a progressive and ahead of his time for the simple fact of being involved in doing laundry. Some people are always ahead of their time and they tend to change the world.

    She didn't say men at the time weren't men. She said any man who wanted that wasn't a man. I agree to the extent that I certainly wouldn't respect a man who felt entitled to this sort of treatment by virtue of his wank.
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
    I would rather be a spinster than a doormat. Any "man" who want that kind of woman, is not a man at all.

    Those "not man at all" did stop the Nazis.

    Being good at war doesn't necessarily make one a man.

    What is your definition? Since, stopping the greatest evil of the last century, doesn't speak of their character at all.

    Let's not forget the country (men, women, young, and old) was at war we were all involved. You had women making the planes and munitions, healing the soldiers on the front line to help with the war efforts.

    and not to be a total nerd but I think it was the dropping of a few A bombs that won the war.

    The war effort was a team effort by the whole country, of course.

    I was just pointing out that saying those "men" weren't "men at all" for wanting their women that way is a bit ingenuous. They didn't know better but that doesn't make them bad men.

    I'm pretty sure those bombs didn't drop themselves :tongue:

    As an American History graduate, yay for history nerds :flowerforyou: !

    "They didn't know better"?? Good thing you aren't a psychology major.

    Why can't the target be my argument and not me?

    Because res ipsa loquitur.

    Haha, I guess burning the witch is easier that proving what she did or didn't do, is or isn't magic. :flowerforyou:

    Your response to people treating other people like crap is to say they didn't know any better. I'm certain had you studied psychology, or philosophy, you would have come across this human emotion called "empathy" by which a person considers another persons feelings and relates to it. It's a skill normally developed by four years of age. Your rationalization that they didn't know any better because it was the "norm" is, well, bad on it's face. If someone were to use that argument for slave owners, Indian killers, or Nazi soldiers, one can only hope you would see the problem.

    You are now taking a whole twist on taking part of what I said and applying it, to extremes. Let's play that game though.

    Do you think the slave owners knew better? They didn't, they genuinely thought because they were of a certain skin color, they somehow held moral abd genetic superiority. You don't even have to go to slave owner days, some people still believe that today.

    Indian Killers depending on the time period you are talking about it happened for various reasons. Taking their resources, them not accepting Christianity (kinda ironic, for people trying to achieve religious freedom), revenge pretty much contributed for a lot too.

    Nazis soldiers had limited options (go march and kill these people or we will kill your entire family), the ones who did have options were tried after the war or tried to hide.

    I have empathy for both the men and women, butt to be unbiased I have to have a cognitive empathy towards them because the article wouldn't fly with today's standards. So, when I say they didn't know better is because they didn't, to have empathy towards another human being they have to genuinely believe that they have the same rights as them. If they started learning (when they are 4) that they are better than others based on the simple fact because they were born of certain parents or race, then their empathy towards those so called lesser people will never come to fruition.

    For example if in 200 years, we discovered that cows actually were way more intelligent, sophisticated, and had methods of communication. Then the people of the time will be able to have empathy towards the cows, and they can say that the people of this time "didn't know better".
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
    I would rather be a spinster than a doormat. Any "man" who want that kind of woman, is not a man at all.

    Those "not man at all" did stop the Nazis.

    Being good at war doesn't necessarily make one a man.

    What is your definition? Since, stopping the greatest evil of the last century, doesn't speak of their character at all.

    Let's not forget the country (men, women, young, and old) was at war we were all involved. You had women making the planes and munitions, healing the soldiers on the front line to help with the war efforts.

    and not to be a total nerd but I think it was the dropping of a few A bombs that won the war.

    The war effort was a team effort by the whole country, of course.

    I was just pointing out that saying those "men" weren't "men at all" for wanting their women that way is a bit ingenuous. They didn't know better but that doesn't make them bad men.

    I'm pretty sure those bombs didn't drop themselves :tongue:

    As an American History graduate, yay for history nerds :flowerforyou: !

    "They didn't know better"?? Good thing you aren't a psychology major.

    Why can't the target be my argument and not me?

    Because res ipsa loquitur.

    Haha, I guess burning the witch is easier that proving what she did or didn't do, is or isn't magic. :flowerforyou:

    Your response to people treating other people like crap is to say they didn't know any better. I'm certain had you studied psychology, or philosophy, you would have come across this human emotion called "empathy" by which a person considers another persons feelings and relates to it. It's a skill normally developed by four years of age. Your rationalization that they didn't know any better because it was the "norm" is, well, bad on it's face. If someone were to use that argument for slave owners, Indian killers, or Nazi soldiers, one can only hope you would see the problem.

    You are now taking a whole twist on taking part of what I said and applying it, to extremes. Let's play that game though.

    Do you think the slave owners knew better? They didn't, they genuinely thought because they were of a certain skin color, they somehow held moral abd genetic superiority. You don't even have to go to slave owner days, some people still believe that today.

    Indian Killers depending on the time period you are talking about it happened for various reasons. Taking their resources, them not accepting Christianity (kinda ironic, for people trying to achieve religious freedom), revenge pretty much contributed for a lot too.

    Nazis soldiers had limited options (go march and kill these people or we will kill your entire family), the ones who did have options were tried after the war or tried to hide.

    I have empathy for both the men and women, butt to be unbiased I have to have a cognitive empathy towards them because the article wouldn't fly with today's standards. So, when I say they didn't know better is because they didn't, to have empathy towards another human being they have to genuinely believe that they have the same rights as them. If they started learning (when they are 4) that they are better than others based on the simple fact because they were born of certain parents or race, then their empathy towards those so called lesser people will never come to fruition.

    For example if in 200 years, we discovered that cows actually were way more intelligent, sophisticated, and had methods of communication. Then the people of the time will be able to have empathy towards the cows, and they can say that the people of this time "didn't know better".

    Res ipsa.

    Ps. I'm a vegetarian.
  • jhmomofmany
    jhmomofmany Posts: 571 Member
    Some actual Cosmo headlines:

    HIS BIGGEST SEX SECRETS

    75 SEX TIPS FROM GUYS

    HIS BEST SEX EVER

    50 THINGS GUYS WISH YOU KNEW

    What is it they say about "the more things change...."?
  • 42hockeymom
    42hockeymom Posts: 521 Member
    Some actual Cosmo headlines:

    HIS BIGGEST SEX SECRETS

    75 SEX TIPS FROM GUYS

    HIS BEST SEX EVER

    50 THINGS GUYS WISH YOU KNEW

    What is it they say about "the more things change...."?

    The main reason why I stopped reading Cosmo, that and the "Sort of scary but UPBEAT:wink: " articles.....

    And yes, you're right, very very right.

    Look domestic partnerships take on lots of different of roles these days. Some people like living like it's the '50s, some don't. And truthfully I could care less. I'm gonna do me and let you do you. Whatever that may be.

    Now, that doesn't mean I endorse abuse of ANY TYPE and am not saying this is ok. I'm just saying let's just let it be.

    Some people read this article and saw doormat others read it and saw their lives. I read it and laughed hysterically. I'm sorry, I'm not going to sit back and not speak, that's not me, I'm not the meek mouse type (and the pain shooting up your arm bit, all I could think was, HELLO HEART ATTACK, but that was my EMT training kicking in) and I completely disagree with the whole "forget about his affair" but there were thoughts that I saw that sort of spoke to me personally, maybe not on that level but at a more evolved level for my times.

    I think our OP posted this for a laugh and some of us took this a tad bit out of context for what it was meant to be, stupid, silly humor.

    And, no I do not for one minute believe that all marriages were in any way like that, I believe they were more like a responders grandparents marriage, because my grandparents were a lot like that too.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Some actual Cosmo headlines:

    HIS BIGGEST SEX SECRETS

    75 SEX TIPS FROM GUYS

    HIS BEST SEX EVER

    50 THINGS GUYS WISH YOU KNEW

    What is it they say about "the more things change...."?

    absolutely right! Oh I love these magazines that wear the tin veil of feminism. Now we know that magazines are in the business of making money, so they only post these things because it's what sales. Which means the women who buy these magazines buy into the whole if I keep him happy he'll stay mentality.

  • haha, tell me it was a woman instructor, cause otherwise that is pretty messed up. :laugh:

    no.... no it wasn't
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member

    haha, tell me it was a woman instructor, cause otherwise that is pretty messed up. :laugh:

    no.... no it wasn't

    Oh wow :laugh: !
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
    i must be stuck in the 50's, because i agree with almost all of those points.

    As a chick, i prefer to have most of those qualities in a man so role reversal would be perfect, except i don't want him in pink panties
  • sweetcurlz67
    sweetcurlz67 Posts: 1,168 Member
    OHHHH MYYYYY GGAAAWWWWWDDDDD!!!!

    That's all....

    WHOA!
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    i must be stuck in the 50's, because i agree with almost all of those points.

    As a chick, i prefer to have most of those qualities in a man so role reversal would be perfect, except i don't want him in pink panties

    pink boxer briefs?
  • JeninBelgium
    JeninBelgium Posts: 804 Member
    I would rather be a spinster than a doormat. Any "man" who want that kind of woman, is not a man at all.

    Those "not man at all" did stop the Nazis.

    Being good at war doesn't necessarily make one a man.

    What is your definition? Since, stopping the greatest evil of the last century, doesn't speak of their character at all.

    Godwin's law violation
  • snazzyjazzy21
    snazzyjazzy21 Posts: 1,298 Member
    I would rather be a spinster than a doormat. Any "man" who want that kind of woman, is not a man at all.

    Those "not man at all" did stop the Nazis.

    Being good at war doesn't necessarily make one a man.

    What is your definition? Since, stopping the greatest evil of the last century, doesn't speak of their character at all.

    Godwin's law violation

    Someone had to bring it up
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
    I would rather be a spinster than a doormat. Any "man" who want that kind of woman, is not a man at all.

    Those "not man at all" did stop the Nazis.

    Being good at war doesn't necessarily make one a man.

    What is your definition? Since, stopping the greatest evil of the last century, doesn't speak of their character at all.

    Godwin's law violation

    Even though it was about the time period, I will roll with the volition call. :flowerforyou:

    No worries though there was a misuse of another law in this thread already.
  • LilacDreamer
    LilacDreamer Posts: 1,364 Member
    My husband showed me this last night. He tried to convince me it was a good idea. :huh:
  • Sonj1973
    Sonj1973 Posts: 188 Member
    Bump absolutely hilarious.......
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    I think this is all solid advice.

    Did I say you could talk?
  • Sounds legit

    *ducks*
  • I would rather be a spinster than a doormat. Any "man" who want that kind of woman, is not a man at all.


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  • tjfrisque
    tjfrisque Posts: 267 Member
    I "originally laughed when I read this but as I gave it a little more thought decided to tell this story in case it helps any young girl out there.
    My mom was married in the fourties and no doubt followed these rules. My dad would say "old lady changed the channel (this was in the late 70's and early 80"s --no remote--or old lady get me a glass of water" and she would come running from the kitchen to do it. I was about 12 or 13 (they had me at 43).. I remember hating it. Thought it would never happen to me..

    Skip to the late 90's. I got married to someone who was brought up similar. I could never figure out why my husband was always angry ( the heat was turned up to high in winter, or the windows were open in summer, if he knew this was for supper he would have went to McDonalds). I would often cry myself to sleep and he would never turn around to hold me. When I told him we had a problem shortly after our marriage his response was "I don't have a problem I'm perfectly happy if theres a problem then you have it.
  • tjfrisque
    tjfrisque Posts: 267 Member
    Sorry I hit the wrong button before I finished.

    Skip to today. Iam making supper as I write this. I will also clean the house. I do this so when he comes home he can pop it into the microwave and feed the kids as I sleep off the alcohol that I drank. I wish I had a "what to do or what not to do for the young girls out there but maybe just hearing this will in someway help you
  • kyleekay10
    kyleekay10 Posts: 1,812 Member
    I "originally laughed when I read this but as I gave it a little more thought decided to tell this story in case it helps any young girl out there.
    My mom was married in the fourties and no doubt followed these rules. My dad would say "old lady changed the channel (this was in the late 70's and early 80"s --no remote--or old lady get me a glass of water" and she would come running from the kitchen to do it. I was about 12 or 13 (they had me at 43).. I remember hating it. Thought it would never happen to me..

    Skip to the late 90's. I got married to someone who was brought up similar. I could never figure out why my husband was always angry ( the heat was turned up to high in winter, or the windows were open in summer, if he knew this was for supper he would have went to McDonalds). I would often cry myself to sleep and he would never turn around to hold me. When I told him we had a problem shortly after our marriage his response was "I don't have a problem I'm perfectly happy if theres a problem then you have it.

    Skip to today. Iam making supper as I write this. I will also clean the house. I do this so when he comes home he can pop it into the microwave and feed the kids as I sleep off the alcohol that I drank. I wish I had a "what to do or what not to do for the young girls out there but maybe just hearing this will in someway help you

    ^ That... made me very sad. That doesn't sound functional, and I hope you find a way to be happy.

    Anyway, regarding the OP. I got a laugh out of this. I'm all for making my boyfriend happy (cooking, picking up his condo, etc) but it's because he takes care of me in return.

    If a man ever tries to tell me not to talk, what color underwear to wear, or that he's the boss of me... it better be because we're doing some serious 50 Shades of Gray stuff. :wink:

    The whole bit about "let your man have fun and look past affairs" is ridiculous though.
  • bluestarlight19
    bluestarlight19 Posts: 419 Member
    I laughed when I read this because something similar kinda came up about a week and a half ago.

    My husband sees me as "the boss". Has even told friends, "hold on I have to check with the boss". Its mostly a joke, but it mostly has to do with money. He is really bad with handling money and our finances have been tight for the past year or so. I always just let him know how much we have and what we will have left after bills, shopping, diapers, childcare, etc.

    Well, He drove his parents down to florida a couple weekends ago. They are in there late 60s and went for a vacation last year and decided they wanted to move. I don't like the way his father treats his mom but he is a stubborn irishman and she lets him get away with it. So that is their dynamic. Well...my husband calls me to tell me he had to take out extra money from the checking account. Mind you we had only about $60 left that week for groceries and I had already spent 40 of it on food and he would need the rest for gas for work when he came back. I'm lucky my mom lent me money to get diapers. So I did go on a bit of a rant and he was apologising and calmed me down, he knew I was just stressed, he is stressed from it too. His father was in the room with him during this conversation.

    For the next 2 days until he caught his plane ride home, all he heard from his father was how he "needed to be the man and put me in my place, let me know who makes the decisions around the house!" etc.... oy....We both laughed when he got home and told me, he tried to explain to his father that isn't how we work (we have mutual respect for eachother, any arguments are discussions and no name calling, we are pretty evenly balanced and have the same sense of humor)

    That being said, I do like to please my husband and make sure he doesn't want for much, and he likes to please me as well, wants to make me happy, so it works both ways. We do the same for the kids, put them first and we just have a natural harmony. Oh and he does take the trash out :) but we fight over who does the dishes.