My Hot New Wife

WhoMe93
WhoMe93 Posts: 33
in Motivation and Support
I learned something yesterday and I hope this helps just one person. Most people who are obese and married think if they lose weight, it will help their marriage. They think if they lose weight they will have more energy to play with their kids, won't feel sick and tired all the time and will have more energy for the most fun extracirricular activities of marriage (wink, wink). Apparently this isn't the case, especially when it is the woman who loses the weight. Instead of the husband thinking "WOW! Look at my hot new wife!", he thinks "She's found a new man and is going to leave me." Why do you do this guys? I would think that no matter which spouse was getting healthier and happier, that the other would fully support them. No, this doesn't happen all the time, especially if you have a strong marriage to start with, but if your marriage is a little rocky, please prepare yourself in case this happens. That's my public service for the day. LOL! Carry on Healthy People! :)
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Replies

  • sobriquet84
    sobriquet84 Posts: 607 Member
    not all of them do. that kind of behavior and thinking is simply a manifestation of his own insecurities, and, if the marriage is rocky, usually insecurity (whether it be on behalf of one spouse or the other or both) has a hand in that.
  • shellma00
    shellma00 Posts: 1,684 Member
    I keep telling my husband that when I get to my goal he is going to have a hot trophy wife. He tells me loves me no matter what size I am and that I am beautiful the way I am. I hope that his feelings do not change if I ever get to my goal weight. My goal is to get to my first goal before April of 2014. I would hate for him to think I found a new man, when the reason I am losing weight is for my health and myself. I am not really doing it for him or anyone else, just for me, myself and I!!!
  • _TimeForMe
    _TimeForMe Posts: 156 Member
    This is so true. Even worse when they purposely try to sabatoge you!!!
  • madtownjeremy
    madtownjeremy Posts: 249
    It's insecurity. It's everywhere. :(

    Even worse, it's usually those same men who, when they lose a ton of weight start messing around with other women because they crave the attention.

    Friggin' insecurity.
  • reddaddie
    reddaddie Posts: 121 Member
    I've heard of that, even guys leaving a wife because she lost a lot of weight. I, however, have a Hot Wife, check out her profile, themommie We've been married 22 years and I am still in love.

    I joined so I could get in shape to keep up.
  • happysherri
    happysherri Posts: 1,360 Member
    I agree, insecurity on that person's end.

    Luckily I have a man who can't keep his eyes or hands off of me! Of course, I've never been overweight around him (last 5 yrs). However, my ex-husband that's a whole other issue! LOL
  • happysherri
    happysherri Posts: 1,360 Member
    I've heard of that, even guys leaving a wife because she lost a lot of weight. I, however, have a Hot Wife, check out her profile, themommie We've been married 22 years and I am still in love.

    I joined so I could get in shape to keep up.

    Aw, I love this!
  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
    I've heard of that, even guys leaving a wife because she lost a lot of weight. I, however, have a Hot Wife, check out her profile, themommie We've been married 22 years and I am still in love.

    I joined so I could get in shape to keep up.

    Love to hear stories like this. :bigsmile:
  • jeeplovin
    jeeplovin Posts: 96 Member
    I've heard of that, even guys leaving a wife because she lost a lot of weight. I, however, have a Hot Wife, check out her profile, themommie We've been married 22 years and I am still in love.

    I joined so I could get in shape to keep up.



    LOVE THIS!!!!!
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    my ex did that.....pushed and pushed me to lose the weight. He himself was tipping over 400 pounds and felt that my losing weight would save our very rocky relationship.

    I lost the weight...he lost some but not much.

    then one day he said "You know, I wouldn't be leaving you if you hadn't lost the weight."

    My jaw dropped and I admit that it took me a little while to get over that...

    but now i'm in an insanely awesome relationship with an INSANELY hot guy (no fooling)

    and we run mud runs, 5K's and are in the gym 4 days a week. We are looking at half marathons and marathons.

    We buy each other fitness gear for gifts...

    and I'm so sublimely happy I could l fart glitter and *kitten* rainbows all over my friends pages 24/7.....

    oh wait...i do that already.

    :bigsmile:

    he did me a huge favor and I couldn't be happier.
  • smarionette
    smarionette Posts: 260 Member
    My husband doesn't seem worry much, but then I spend so much time at the gym that he knows I can't stray. :laugh:
  • ccburn5
    ccburn5 Posts: 473 Member
    True! As the one on the other side of this scenario, I agree.
  • sinistras
    sinistras Posts: 244 Member
    The hotter I get, the more my husband can't keep his paws off me. ;-)

    Marriages that crumble have other issues going on than weight loss...
  • Sovictorrious
    Sovictorrious Posts: 770 Member
    Not my husband. He is having a party with my new body.
  • dicoveringwhoIam
    dicoveringwhoIam Posts: 480 Member
    My hub's insecure. ~sigh~ I have a million reasons to lose weight. Most importantly is for myself and to keep MS on lock down. I'm tired of feeling sick and tired. He gets it to a point and then says things like are you really going to workout again? or Aren't you going to watch the kids? or When are you going to do laundry? My most fav: When is dinner? Really you can't do any of those things yourself? He already thinks I found someone at the gym.. Hmmm no ty..
  • capnrus789
    capnrus789 Posts: 2,736 Member
    Hasn't happened to me. My wife has lost about 25 so far, wants to drop another 15 or so. I'm not thinking "my hot new wife," I'm thinking, "my even hotter existing wife!" Then she slaps my hands away as I try to feel her up. Every chance I get. It's good exercise for her.
  • Factory_Reset
    Factory_Reset Posts: 1,651 Member
    my ex did that.....pushed and pushed me to lose the weight. He himself was tipping over 400 pounds and felt that my losing weight would save our very rocky relationship.

    I lost the weight...he lost some but not much.

    then one day he said "You know, I wouldn't be leaving you if you hadn't lost the weight."

    My jaw dropped and I admit that it took me a little while to get over that...

    but now i'm in an insanely awesome relationship with an INSANELY hot guy (no fooling)

    and we run mud runs, 5K's and are in the gym 4 days a week. We are looking at half marathons and marathons.

    We buy each other fitness gear for gifts...

    and I'm so sublimely happy I could l fart glitter and *kitten* rainbows all over my friends pages 24/7.....

    oh wait...i do that already.

    :bigsmile:

    he did me a huge favor and I couldn't be happier.

    I LURVE all the fart glitter and rainbow sh!ts.....makes me feel loved

    :flowerforyou:
  • K_Serz
    K_Serz Posts: 1,299 Member
    Why do you do this guys?

    Its not just guys
  • fishgutzy
    fishgutzy Posts: 2,807 Member
    A friend of mine's wife lost a lot of weight. Then she started "hooking up" with someone she met years ago. Then she said she was going to leave her husband of 14 years. Her own daughters (from a prior marriage) totally laid into her. They were livid that she would do that to a man who loved her unconditionally, regardless her size.
    So yes, there is a reason some men get suspicious. Not me though.

    My wife met me when I was skinny. Loved me then. Loved me when my weight doubled. And she still loves me as my weight gets back toward a healthy (hunky) weight. I'll be her trophy husband :)
  • sevsmom
    sevsmom Posts: 1,172 Member
    My hubby is hugely proud of me. I wasn't obese to start, but he's proud of my weight loss & physical activity accomplishments. Now, does it bother him when men compliment? A bit. But he knows who takes me home each night!! ;-)
  • babyj0
    babyj0 Posts: 531 Member
    Sounds like my insecure ex boyfriend. Not all guys are going to think that way..
  • d6melanie
    d6melanie Posts: 84 Member
    Hasn't happened to me. My wife has lost about 25 so far, wants to drop another 15 or so. I'm not thinking "my hot new wife," I'm thinking, "my even hotter existing wife!" Then she slaps my hands away as I try to feel her up. Every chance I get. It's good exercise for her.

    I genuinely laughed aloud at this one. You sound like my husband. "It's good exercise for her." ha!
  • Leimaro
    Leimaro Posts: 148 Member
    I've heard of that, even guys leaving a wife because she lost a lot of weight. I, however, have a Hot Wife, check out her profile, themommie We've been married 22 years and I am still in love.

    I joined so I could get in shape to keep up.

    You sir, Are a winner!! :bigsmile:
  • jwdieter
    jwdieter Posts: 2,582 Member
    How common do people think this result is? The woman gets in shape and the man freaks out? Seems like pretty aberrant behavior to me.
  • samammay
    samammay Posts: 468
    My wife has said on a number of occasions that she is concerned with me getting back in shape because I might leave her for someone who is also in shape.
  • GretchenReine
    GretchenReine Posts: 1,374 Member
    I'm lucky enough to have a husband who just appreciates his new wife! I've worked hard for this body (work in progress) and he loves it! After all of these years...I'm his arm candy!!! ;-)
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Whew! Another "Thank Gravy I'm not Married!" post....
  • SkinnyFatAlbert
    SkinnyFatAlbert Posts: 482 Member
    My ex and I gained our weight together. We started losing together but she lost hers faster and did leave. It does happen.
  • christinemadden0223
    christinemadden0223 Posts: 175 Member
    Go girl!! I am also in an new relationship with a guy who is a gym rat- it makes for much better quality time than watching my ex play video games wishing I were working out!!
  • Baloostika
    Baloostika Posts: 203 Member
    I learned something yesterday and I hope this helps just one person. Most people who are obese and married think if they lose weight, it will help their marriage. They think if they lose weight they will have more energy to play with their kids, won't feel sick and tired all the time and will have more energy for the most fun extracirricular activities of marriage (wink, wink). Apparently this isn't the case, especially when it is the woman who loses the weight. Instead of the husband thinking "WOW! Look at my hot new wife!", he thinks "She's found a new man and is going to leave me." Why do you do this guys? I would think that no matter which spouse was getting healthier and happier, that the other would fully support them. No, this doesn't happen all the time, especially if you have a strong marriage to start with, but if your marriage is a little rocky, please prepare yourself in case this happens. That's my public service for the day. LOL! Carry on Healthy People! :)

    Oh! I just love u (hugs). This is so, so true, the confidence one achieves after weightloss can indeed be misunderstood. I know exactly what ur talking about, my husband never had issues or complained about my weight but the moment i lost weight and was looking HOT our relationship kinna changed for the better, hes always all over me these days.
    Men are so insecure and can hide under the guise of loving u more so u don't look elsewhere even though you've never tot about doing that. People out there can say that about you too u know especially the ones who can't do the weightloss thing, failures at weightloss I call them and it springs out of jealousy.
    Like I've always told the women who care to listen, only a few percentage of men out there will ever complain about ur weight, the day he complains be sure he has found his perfect woman out there. When he says he loves u the way ur are I can bet he's lying, men love what they see and the reality is no man loves a woman with her stomache covering what he wants to see the most, this is my opinion. Let's do the right thing for ourselves and make us happy instead of being overweight cos "someone loves me the way I am".
    I am sorry but this is how I see it.

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