18 and never had a boyfriend or dated in my life?

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Replies

  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    A lot of guys have a thing for asian girls. I wouldn't worry.

    If I was you I'd be more worried about the method of birth control you plan on using.
  • laserturkey
    laserturkey Posts: 1,680 Member
    You are actually in a very good situation, then. My daughter met someone when she was 15 and has this idea in her head that they are soulmates and will always be together, even though the person treats her like crap and it's a horrible relationship. Be thankful you didn't fall into a trap like that. Focus on yourself, on creating the life you want for yourself and on being the most awesome version of yourself you can be. Somewhere along the way, you will meet someone, most likely when you aren't even looking for a relationship. I was married at 28 in a fairy-tale wedding to a handsome charmer who swept me off my feet and then proceeded to abuse me for 9 years until I had the courage to get out. In my early 40's I was enjoying my freedom and feeling very independent when I met the man who is my soulmate. Neither of us was really looking for more than friendship when we started, but we quickly realized that we belonged together forever.

    Be healthy and happy yourself, be open to life and approachable, and you can enjoy some dates while you wait to meet the right person at the right time.
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    The time and guy will come...it overrated at that age anyway.

    Most people would be better off for a stable relationship if they took the route you drive on.

    Trust me, its only a matter of time. Don't rush anything and enjoy your life when your young. Boys will be flocking to you in no time...

    ^ This. All of this.

    OP, just recognize that you are not experienced, and it is very likely that at least a few of the young men that you will meet in Australia will be. Try to balance your eagerness to explore with some caution in recognition of that dynamic. Good luck!
  • WhitneySheree88
    WhitneySheree88 Posts: 222 Member
    I went on my first date when I was 16 years old and it was terrrrrible!! It was Valentines day, I went with a guy I had known since I was 14 and he was a good friend. I wish I had waited. Like everyone else has said the right guy will come along and you will go on an AWESOME date. Right now enjoy yourself, do the things you want to do and have fun!!
  • My 18 year old nephew has never really dated either. He simply doesn't feel pressured to rush into having a real relationship. Friends are fine by him at this stage.

    A lot of his friends are the same. They just hang out and act like kids right now. The West isn't like it's portrayed on TV. Lots of kids make the choice to not date in high school, plenty of families are strict and require that kids wait until college, and for some, religion has an impact on whether kids date before college.

    Don't think that there's anything wrong with you. You're just fine, and you'll find that there are plenty of kids like you at university.
  • rileamoyer
    rileamoyer Posts: 2,412 Member
    I understand your feelings. I felt no one would want me at different times of my life. Concentrate on being the best you, love yourself. Love comes in time, and usually when you least expect it. And, take it from a grandma, you can love and be loved several times in your life. Each one will be special and will be blessed to have you in their lives.
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  • stealthSLOTH
    stealthSLOTH Posts: 695 Member
    This isn't meant to be patronizing, but you have your whole life ahead of you!

    I think I would worry less about not having dating experience, but focus on yourself and make sure you like yourself.
    I didn't have a lot of confidence at your age and I think that is something that people around you can sense.

    Also, we're obviously all here to improve ourselves, but you don't have to 'get to goal' before you live you life.
    You are likely a fantastic person now, and you'll be that same fantastic person when you get to goal, but even better because
    you will feel more confident.

    I think a lot of us on here forget that we just have to be ourselves - we don't have to be perfect. It's hard to remember that no one is perfect.

    I wish you all the best! :happy: :flowerforyou:
  • AliciaStinger
    AliciaStinger Posts: 402 Member
    The time and guy will come...it overrated at that age anyway.

    Most people would be better off for a stable relationship if they took the route you drive on.

    Trust me, its only a matter of time. Don't rush anything and enjoy your life when your young. Boys will be flocking to you in no time...

    This.

    You mentioned Western culture, and people dating young. That's not really true. There are some people here in the U.S. who date young, and many of them aren't together for more than a couple of months. This is usually because (1) they don't have the maturity (meaning honesty, communication skills, understanding of themselves and what they want) to choose someone they actually like, and (2) they're more concerned about "having" a boy/girlfriend, and being a boy/girlfriend than they are about having a meaningful connection. This isn't true of all young people or first relationships, but it seemed to be true of most kids in my high school who started dating before they were 16 or 17 years old.

    You also mentioned that you want to get married one day. If that's the case, then maybe you want to think more about qualities you like and values that are important to you before you start dating. For example, I am attracted to people with a sense of humor and who like the same kind of music; it is important to me that my mate has the same social and political values, and is not very/not at all religious; and it is a complete deal breaker if a guy is racist, sexist, verbally or physically abusive, or gets angry over stupid little things. I like when people tell me that something is bothering them or that I did something that upset them INSTEAD OF giving me the silent treatment or giving up on a relationship.

    I would recommend making friends with some guys; it's a low-pressure way to meet other people and see what they're really like. (Just remember that you need to be yourself, too...) Join a co-ed club or group (that actually interests you), go out to an exciting party or restaurant, or to a fair or carnival. If you see someone who seems interesting or someone you find attractive, introduce yourself. Just go say hi, and see if you hit it off. If so, hang out sometime with a group of friends or just the two of you.

    Finally, don't be insecure. Easier said than done, I know...but someone will like you for your interests, values, smarts, or sense of humor, even if you don't feel very unique or desirable. If you don't believe that there's someone for everyone, just Google "Honey Boo Boo's Mom" and know that someone married her. (I hate using her as an example because it's really disrespectful, but there are very few public figures who prove this point like she does.)
  • bloominheck
    bloominheck Posts: 869 Member
    Hey, when I have a daughter, she isnt going to date until she is 18 either. I know what I did at 18 and younger and she isn't going to do that.:ohwell:

    Hey, there are some amazing men in college. You will find him there!
  • EdTheGinge
    EdTheGinge Posts: 1,616 Member
    My first official girlfriend was at 23 and I was 20 when I started seeing girls, there's no rush. As Phil Collins once said

    'My mama said, You can't hurry love, No, you'll just have to wait, She said love don't come easy, But it's a game of give and take, You can't hurry love, No, you'll just have to wait, Just trust in a good time, No matter how long it takes'

    Just enjoy life :)
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Hey, when I have a daughter, she isnt going to date until she is 18 either. I know what I did at 18 and younger and she isn't going to do that.
    Yeah. Being overprotective always keeps the kids from doing bad things. Always.
  • I'm 19, and in a western country and I've never had a boyfriend..

    It kinda sucks, but It's also a good thing! no regrets!
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    No problem that you haven't dated yet.

    You're really only missing out on sex. I don't know anyone who ever stuck with their first relationship. Second or third, yes. First? No.

    Just relax and you'll be fine.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    Hey, when I have a daughter, she isnt going to date until she is 18 either. I know what I did at 18 and younger and she isn't going to do that.
    Yeah. Being overprotective always keeps the kids from doing bad things. Always.

    That's my plan, but I just bought the parenting book written by Gaston Glock.
    "Parenting with a .45"
  • MzManiak
    MzManiak Posts: 1,361 Member
    Dating in your teens is way overrated. Go to university and focus on your academics. The dating thing will happen when you're ready.

    Also, you can't love someone and have them love you, until you can love yourself.... so maybe work on your self image first. :flowerforyou:
  • NaomiLyn15
    NaomiLyn15 Posts: 388 Member
    Don't rush the dating thing, just let life happen and enjoy every minute of it. I didn't start dating until college either. I thought I was weird (I am in America) because all my friends had relationship after relationship. But, now I am happy that I didn't just jump from guy to guy and I got good grades and an awesome career out of it. There's nothing wrong with you, and the perfect guy will come along in due time. Good luck at university. :)
  • tworthen79
    tworthen79 Posts: 1,173 Member
    You don't find love, love finds you. And usually when you least expect it. Focus on school, traveling and experience life. And when the time is right, the perfect guy will be there.
  • klight1236
    klight1236 Posts: 69 Member
    I'm 18 from GA in the US and in college and don't worry i'm in the same boat as you're in and what most of the people I knew who dated called "dating" going out for 2 weeks thinking it was true love and then breaking over the stupidest things (aka not texting them every 3 hours). Also some people go out with others in high school just because someone asked them to it's ridiculous. Looking back i'm so glad I avoided all that drama and didn't waste my time going out with a guy who I wasn't attracted to. Trust me a lot of guys are douche bags in high school and college and we're not missing that much.
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