Stupid question, probably best answered by the guys

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wanabthinagain
wanabthinagain Posts: 28
in Motivation and Support
OK so here goes. This is kind of a childish question and PLEASE only helpful answers. I recently was asked to hang out by a friend that I have not seen in 4 years or more. The last time he saw me i was skinny...not the case now. We have just a little bit of a history, nothing serious. I know we are just going to get together as friends but I am still nervous because since then, i am now super fat. I feel like if I could w/out sounding presumptuous i should make him aware of that without coming right out and saying it, to prepare him for seeing me. Yes he's seen pictures of me on FB, but lets be honest...all us girls no how to take a FB photo that is more flattering than real life. Any suggestions? Serious and helpful answers only please and thank you.
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Replies

  • hannahlclrk
    hannahlclrk Posts: 66 Member
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    do you go to the gym?

    easy way to drop it in there- oh im just going to the gym, trying really hard to lose wieght as I've gained so much weight- you probably wont recognise me - some thing like that. - make yourself sound much fatter than you are, then when he see's you he'll think awww she aint so fat :)

    hope this is helpfull xx
  • Railr0aderTony
    Railr0aderTony Posts: 6,803 Member
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    after 4 yrs why now? I would not worry about telling him. I would be more worried about his motives. Did he just move back from somewhere? Guess to be honest I would need more Info.
  • joeysox
    joeysox Posts: 195 Member
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    If he is a good friend he won't care, plus you are on here working at being healthy :) but if you really feel a need to either just be honest and say things have changed or drop in a comment casually about needing go for a workout etc keep it light. it doesnt need to be an issue :) x
  • d4ley1
    d4ley1 Posts: 73
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    he will be ok if he likes you he likes you but this whole thing is positive encouragement for you! to be honest skinny girls aren't what many men want he may even prefer you now! personally I think girls look best a few pounds over weight
  • stjoh01
    stjoh01 Posts: 5 Member
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    Guys like to feel helpful and needed which is how we are most comfortable expressing how we feel. Like "hey, look mom, I helped." Let him know you're looking forward to hanging out with him. Be positive. Let him know you are happy and healthy again like you were a few years ago, losing lots of weight, and that friends like him are a good reminder of those days and a big help now, Laugh a lot, don't be embarrassed and have fun. Best wishes.
  • OllyReeves
    OllyReeves Posts: 579 Member
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    If you are just meeting as friends, what's the difference? If he is shallow enough to not want to be your friend because you're fat, I would suggest don't meet up with him, he's not a friend. Just my opinion.
  • Chadomaniac
    Chadomaniac Posts: 1,785 Member
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    Be You
  • bridgie101
    bridgie101 Posts: 817 Member
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    Wear a decently wOw (or is that wOOw?) titty top and he Won't Even Notice.

    I kid you not.
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
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    I understand why you're nervous... Even though you're now just friends, there *was* a thing, and you're worried you might no longer be in the hot stuff category, and it's an ego thing, totally get it.

    He'll probably have changed a bit too, though. And even though you're a good poser, unless you are a magician or costume designer or photoshop expert, he will already have noticed your changes. And he still wants to hang!

    Just dress your best and enjoy a nice evening with an old friend :)

    (But also tell me what these poses are about, i look like a jerk in most pictures!)
  • LumpySpacePrincess1
    LumpySpacePrincess1 Posts: 388 Member
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    It's not like you have leprosy now and need to hang a bell on your neck to alert people of your girth.
    I understand how you feel, but your weight doesn't need a coming out ceremony.
    The best bet would be to just post a full length photo on your facebook, that way he won't be surprised.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    are you going to just hang out or to 'hang out'???

    i dont see why he would care if you are just friends?
  • benol1
    benol1 Posts: 867 Member
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    OK so here goes. This is kind of a childish question and PLEASE only helpful answers. I recently was asked to hang out by a friend that I have not seen in 4 years or more. The last time he saw me i was skinny...not the case now. We have just a little bit of a history, nothing serious. I know we are just going to get together as friends but I am still nervous because since then, i am now super fat. I feel like if I could w/out sounding presumptuous i should make him aware of that without coming right out and saying it, to prepare him for seeing me. Yes he's seen pictures of me on FB, but lets be honest...all us girls no how to take a FB photo that is more flattering than real life. Any suggestions? Serious and helpful answers only please and thank you.

    Relax, you're beautiful!
  • samammay
    samammay Posts: 468
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    Dont discount the possibility that he knows you have gained weight and just doesnt care. You're still the same person. Skinny does not equal friend-worthy... or more.

    I dated a girl once, super petite and sexy. We went a few years without seeing each other, without the benefit of FB to show us. One night when she moved back to town we decided to get back together to catch up. When she came to the door she had gained 30 pounds or so.

    Know how I reacted? Ask her... she and our three kids are asleep upstairs.
  • wanabthinagain
    wanabthinagain Posts: 28
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    Wow. I appreciate all of you and your support! I know it shouldn't make a difference, but you know how it is...in my head, it is a huge issue.
  • BeccaBollons
    BeccaBollons Posts: 652 Member
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    Dont discount the possibility that he knows you have gained weight and just doesnt care. You're still the same person. Skinny does not equal friend-worthy... or more.

    I dated a girl once, super petite and sexy. We went a few years without seeing each other, without the benefit of FB to show us. One night when she moved back to town we decided to get back together to catch up. When she came to the door she had gained 30 pounds or so.

    Know how I reacted? Ask her... she and our three kids are asleep upstairs.

    You, sir, are the winner of this thread. Best thing I've read all day :)
  • wanabthinagain
    wanabthinagain Posts: 28
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    Dont discount the possibility that he knows you have gained weight and just doesnt care. You're still the same person. Skinny does not equal friend-worthy... or more.

    I dated a girl once, super petite and sexy. We went a few years without seeing each other, without the benefit of FB to show us. One night when she moved back to town we decided to get back together to catch up. When she came to the door she had gained 30 pounds or so.

    Know how I reacted? Ask her... she and our three kids are asleep upstairs.

    You, sir, are the winner of this thread. Best thing I've read all day :)

    AGREED!
  • Railr0aderTony
    Railr0aderTony Posts: 6,803 Member
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    Dont discount the possibility that he knows you have gained weight and just doesnt care. You're still the same person. Skinny does not equal friend-worthy... or more.

    I dated a girl once, super petite and sexy. We went a few years without seeing each other, without the benefit of FB to show us. One night when she moved back to town we decided to get back together to catch up. When she came to the door she had gained 30 pounds or so.

    Know how I reacted? Ask her... she and our three kids are asleep upstairs.

    brilliant.GIF
    tumblr_m1rkzpHj1n1r6aoq4o1_500_zps2c091f68.gif
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
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    I would just straight out tell him that you are bigger than you would like to be, but you're working on it.
  • mooie70
    mooie70 Posts: 70 Member
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    Men age and get fat too...

    Just saying...

    :flowerforyou:
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
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    Lead with..."more cushion, less pushin...you in or not"

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