thanks for nothing hubby!

Adopting a child will not make things better.

Assuming that you didn't knowingly and willfully marry a self-absorbed *kitten* who derives pleasure from hurting you, I have an idea that might help.

Men are different than women. They think differently. They communicate differently. So, in the future, when your husband says something that upsets you, ask yourself if HE probably thought he was just being helpful and meant no offense at all. If the answer is yes, then try to understand that he didn't intend to hurt you. Tell him that his comments were hurtful, ask him to be more thoughtful about his words in the future, and then move on. No grudges, no cold shoulder, no pissy moods, no cutting him off just to make sure he gets the message. If you're pretty sure he did intend to be offensive, then you have married a self-absorbed *kitten* who derives pleasure from hurting you, and you're going to need to be more direct in dealing with that.

I'm not trying to absolve him of any and all responsibility for his words. I don't know how long the two of you have been married, but if it's any time at all, he ought to know how you're going to react. And that may be the problem, as some other posters have indicated. Perhaps your reaction is always to grin and bear it and never to actually TALK to him about what he does that bothers you. If you can put 2 & 2 together, surely you can see that his behavior will never change if you don't, in fact, make him aware that it needs to change.

What I always want to know in situations like this...how did you respond??

I would have responded with a remark like, "WOW that was rude! It's not like she has to do a marathon every day just because she's fit..." and I would have needed the whole thing resolved by him explaining further and/or apologizing.

I'm not saying my reaction is correct. In fact many would say I am a nag or oversensitive. But that's what would happen and we'd get past it. I wouldn't be simmering hours or days down the road. That is just how I am.

How did you react?

Men often don't think and say dopey things. I would point out to him how you felt when he said that. More than likely he will feel bad and apologize. And, if you're pushing baby strollers with another mom you don't go fast. Children want to look at the world. Good luck with the adoption.
P.S. I am trying to find a photo that will load properly. I don't like the egghead. :glasses:

"What you ALLOW is what will CONTINUE"

Totally off topic, but why do you have food for your profile picture? It is making me hungry::happy:

say something or leave the guy ..

Well, that escalated quickly!

I have been known to call my emotional intelligence full retard. But hey, I am good with puzzles, maths, and anything that has to do with engineering. I had no idea I was actually supposed to socialize in school. I thought it was for getting 4.0 and striving for that 10%. To be fair, Dad is an engineer and Mom is schizephrenic; neither wanted me socializing. <<<welcome to socially awkward penguin>>>

Did you tell him that he upset you or did you come straight to the message boards?

Ugh. Another man and his stoopid logic.

That's too easy!

I think that's a perfectly valid question