Discouraged by other people

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  • AnnaZimm70
    AnnaZimm70 Posts: 218 Member
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    I just looked at your profile. Where on earth do you work where they find 5'7" and 170 lbs. to be "fat / big / chunky"? Seriously, I am 5'7" with my highest being 190 and my weight has never been even noteworthy to co-workers. I understand different body types look different at the same weight, but at 170 lbs. I calculate a BMI of 26.6 which is within the normal health weight range. Good luck on the journey to be healthier, and please don't let these co-workers get you down about yourself.
  • ktsimons
    ktsimons Posts: 294 Member
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    Hi everyone.

    Okay, so at my workplace, I am often teased by my officemates about how fat / big / chunky I am. I'm starting to get tired of all the jokes so I told them that I am going to aim losing my excess weight. When they can see that I am making healthier food choices at lunch, they tell me that I'll never be slim because I have big bones or something. Or they tell me that being slim won't suit me. I know I can do it, and I am also doing this for my own health but I really want to prove them wrong. I'd love to see the look on their faces when they see my new body. Lol.

    Have you ever encountered such unsupportive people? Share your experience here.

    yes, but it was from my parents...bodybuilders. Opinionated and negative...I finally did it for ME ME ME!! Who cares what anyone else thinks??
  • niftyafterfifty
    niftyafterfifty Posts: 338 Member
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    Where on EARTH do you work that this sort of treatment is acceptable?!

    It's what she'd get where I work. It's quite common.

    They are actually, in their way, showing they care. they're teasing, to show she is one of the group, that she can handle being teased.

    Some workplaces, to be teased is a sign of success. Right? If you're getting picked on, you're getting noticed. People don't mean anything by it. People don't think you're getting distressed. People don't think... Heh. They're just going for a laugh at the orifice.

    Also: people don't actually like CHANGE. It destabilises them. There's something primeval about it. They don't want to have to renegotiate pecking orders, they don't want to have to learn new ways of relating to people... it's all too much. They want everyone to stay in their boxes and not move.

    :D It's not worth getting upset about. it's like King Canute, trying to stop the tide. It's an overwhelming force of nature so all you can do is protect yourself, by never telling anyone anything you're sensitive about, until it's ancient history and you're no longer sensitive about it.

    You would be stunned at the crap I got for smoking herbal, nicotine free cigarettes when I quit smoking. Not only from the smokers but also from the non-smokers. The non-smokers,. who like giving the smokers ****, gave me 3x more **** for quitting. Buncha derps.

    :D

    If this is the way people show they care about you, I'd really rather they didn't.
  • breemarie87
    breemarie87 Posts: 16
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    People are jerks and to this day I don't understand why they get in my business (or yours). Maybe they're jealous of your willpower or that you're doing something with your life? I am a very large woman and my best friend and I will hang out and I'll say something like, "i just couldn't button my jeans today" (if I'm trying to fit into a smaller size, but it's not happening yet lol) and she's say, "You look great!" <-- I appreciate her support in her saying basically this in those words, "You are great whatever your size you are and you're going to rock whatever body you have."

    I have big bones (no, really, I do) and people are VERY often surprised when they find out my jean size and it's almost insulting when they say, "But you look fine!" Ooohh yeah....thanks for invalidating my efforts... *steps off soap box*

    You'll get through, just ignore them or comeback at them with a question like, "why would you say that?"
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,306 Member
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    Dont engage work place "friends" (which are not really your friends) in important aspects of your personal life. It is none of their business. Work is work. Not your personal ife and family.

    You make yourself a vicitim by discussing your personal health with people who have bullied and teased you.. Why seek their approval? When they comment on your weight one way or the other.. tell them "Please stop commenting on my physical appearance or I'll go to HR and file a complaint."

    That will shut them up.
  • slimandfab13
    slimandfab13 Posts: 25 Member
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    I just looked at your profile. Where on earth do you work where they find 5'7" and 170 lbs. to be "fat / big / chunky"? Seriously, I am 5'7" with my highest being 190 and my weight has never been even noteworthy to co-workers. I understand different body types look different at the same weight, but at 170 lbs. I calculate a BMI of 26.6 which is within the normal health weight range. Good luck on the journey to be healthier, and please don't let these co-workers get you down about yourself.

    I'm really flabby in all places and it's becoming very noticeble even though I am tall. To be honest, I do realize that I am really the biggest/tallest girl in our group. But they don't have to constantly rub it in especially now that I am doing something about it. By the way, I also computed for my BMI and it says 26.63 which is still overweight, not normal.



    Thanks for all the response. I very much appreciate all of your support.
  • slimandfab13
    slimandfab13 Posts: 25 Member
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    Also I want to make it clear that I am from a country where most girls are small/petite.
  • Rai007
    Rai007 Posts: 387 Member
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    i believe we shall never discuss our health related aims and problems with anyone

    when we achieve the results everyone will see and accept the new us
  • tlou5
    tlou5 Posts: 497 Member
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    Hi everyone.

    Okay, so at my workplace, I am often teased by my officemates about how fat / big / chunky I am. I'm starting to get tired of all the jokes so I told them that I am going to aim losing my excess weight. When they can see that I am making healthier food choices at lunch, they tell me that I'll never be slim because I have big bones or something. Or they tell me that being slim won't suit me. I know I can do it, and I am also doing this for my own health but I really want to prove them wrong. I'd love to see the look on their faces when they see my new body. Lol.

    Have you ever encountered such unsupportive people? Share your experience here.

    Wow. You have some seriously awful co workers.
  • LTGPSA
    LTGPSA Posts: 633 Member
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    They are actually, in their way, showing they care. they're teasing, to show she is one of the group, that she can handle being teased.

    Some workplaces, to be teased is a sign of success. Right? If you're getting picked on, you're getting noticed. People don't mean anything by it. People don't think you're getting distressed. People don't think... Heh. They're just going for a laugh at the orifice.
    ^^ If this isn't sarcasm, it's definitely BS!! No one who "cares" about someone else would use this destructive method to get their "caring" points across.
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
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    People are weird. I would never comment negatively on someone's appearance, even if that person was a friend or family member. At work, I barely comment on anyone's appearance at all. At most, if someone is dressed up for some reason, I might say something like "that dress suits you well" or "you look like you're well prepared for that presentation." I think it's out-of-line for anyone to tease you about your physical appearance.
  • exmsde
    exmsde Posts: 85 Member
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    I'm shocked. I never found my co-workers to be anything but supportive of efforts by others to improve their health. Especially people trying to lose weight! And while no doubt there were likely behind people's backs comments about weight (because people are people), harassing co-workers over their weight would just have been unacceptable. And in my years as a manager it would not have been tolerated.

    Yes friends would discuss how they were going about pursuing their diet or fitness goals. And yes people might attempt to provide constructive criticism. But that isn't what you are describing.

    My advice, and it is something that is perhaps easier for Men than Women, is to turn the criticism into motivation. Just decide you are going to $*%@(*@ show them and make every negative comment a motivator. @_$* them!

    Do the offenders know you find their comments inappropriate and unhelpful?
  • HeadsPoppingOutOfCups
    HeadsPoppingOutOfCups Posts: 115
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    i believe we shall never discuss our health related aims and problems with anyone

    when we achieve the results everyone will see and accept the new us

    Why? If they're supportive it can be rather motivating. When I started on here three months ago I started because three of my coworkers were trying to get fit and another one had just lost probably a good 50+ pounds in the last year. While the three sort of fell off the wagon (which really isn't too big of a deal anyway, none of them were overweight, just wanted to tone up for the summer) all their initial talk is what got me going in the first place. The one I sit right next to asks me every Friday how my weigh in went which gives me a bit of accountability on a weekly basis. I believe having such great coworkers is what got me on the right track.
  • ladymiseryali
    ladymiseryali Posts: 2,555 Member
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    1. Don't talk about your fitness goals with these people. They're a bunch of twats.

    2. Go to HR and say they're creating a hostile work environment, because they are.

    3. Prove them wrong and get fit and healthy and awesome!
  • Rai007
    Rai007 Posts: 387 Member
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    i believe we shall never discuss our health related aims and problems with anyone

    when we achieve the results everyone will see and accept the new us

    Why? If they're supportive it can be rather motivating. When I started on here three months ago I started because three of my coworkers were trying to get fit and another one had just lost probably a good 50+ pounds in the last year. While the three sort of fell off the wagon (which really isn't too big of a deal anyway, none of them were overweight, just wanted to tone up for the summer) all their initial talk is what got me going in the first place. The one I sit right next to asks me every Friday how my weigh in went which gives me a bit of accountability on a weekly basis. I believe having such great coworkers is what got me on the right track.

    well i respect ur opinion but my own experience is that i was overweight from my teens. and a lot relatives told me to lose weight but u know i never did anything except for piling on more weight. so u never start unless the urge comes from within and when i begun litrally everyone had accepted me the way i was. yes we all need proper guidance and that is what i get from mfp and it users. but noone can motivate u to workout or count calories ever unless u urself are motivated from withing. well this is the case for me but yes if u like others support it is great.
  • AglaeaC
    AglaeaC Posts: 1,974 Member
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    Also I want to make it clear that I am from a country where most girls are small/petite.
    Your coworkers frankly seem like quite "small" people regardless of their body size; arrogant and unkind behaviour is reflecting only on them, so let it glide out of the other ear without even registering. I suspect they are the type that if you take it to HR, your own work might be in danger if it isn't already, because stupidity like that might go hand in hand with sabotage.

    I always throw in this quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, too:
    “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
    It's worth taking some time to ponder its meaning.
  • janicelo1971
    janicelo1971 Posts: 823 Member
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    Wow, I'd say you should omit these people from your life, but seeing as you work with them it doesn't seem like that is possible. I think the only thing left to do is lose the weight and flaunt it.

    this!!!

    sounds like you work with a bunch of immature *kitten*!
  • wilsoje74
    wilsoje74 Posts: 1,720 Member
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    Sounds like you work with some really nice people!!! Yikes!
  • jojo37696
    jojo37696 Posts: 93 Member
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    they are afraid they won't have anyone to put down after you lose the weight, so they will have to pick on another person and they are afraid it will be them. ignore them. you go get em
  • NatalieWinning
    NatalieWinning Posts: 999 Member
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    Just wait. You'll get thin and look younger. More healthy. Then they'll be all worried you are too thin. You might even make them feel inadequate about themselves and lose a friend or 2. But you do this for you and all the right things will fall into place. You'll find the more positive and supportive people naturally, drop the negative and walk away, and surround yourself with positive energy while doing what's best for you. That's where you're headed, and it feels good!

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