MAKE ME LAUGH - COMMON

randimockensturm
randimockensturm Posts: 49 Member
edited September 19 in Health and Weight Loss
This group is so creative - I'll bet we can come up with a boatload of these. I was trying to make myself laugh this AM by remembering gentle ways of saying that someone is a not so nice or different ways of saying that someone is not that bright. Here are the ones that I can remember.

SOMEONE IS NOT SO NICE:
- his/her mother barks.

SOMEONE IS NOT SO BRIGHT:
- lights are on - nobody is home
- coupe cards shy of a deck.
- couldn't find his A... with both hands in his back pocket
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Replies

  • randimockensturm
    randimockensturm Posts: 49 Member
    This group is so creative - I'll bet we can come up with a boatload of these. I was trying to make myself laugh this AM by remembering gentle ways of saying that someone is a not so nice or different ways of saying that someone is not that bright. Here are the ones that I can remember.

    SOMEONE IS NOT SO NICE:
    - his/her mother barks.

    SOMEONE IS NOT SO BRIGHT:
    - lights are on - nobody is home
    - coupe cards shy of a deck.
    - couldn't find his A... with both hands in his back pocket
  • Mireille
    Mireille Posts: 5,134 Member
    SOMEONE IS NOT SO NICE:
    - woke up on the wrong side of the bed
    - what's crawling in your pants?
    -

    SOMEONE IS NOT SO BRIGHT:
    - good thing you got your looks
    - 2 peas short of a pod



    I have more but I have to think...
  • MJV40
    MJV40 Posts: 9
    :laugh: okay, you made me laugh!! How about "not the sharpest knife in the drawer" or "a few bricks short of a load"
  • MJV40
    MJV40 Posts: 9
    :laugh: okay, you made me laugh!! How about "not the sharpest knife in the drawer" or "a few bricks short of a load"
  • CristaAmy
    CristaAmy Posts: 67
    One of our favorites is a combination of "not the brightest bulb on the tree", "not the sharpest tack" and something about cookies (don't know where that came from) ... it ended up as "not the brightest cookie".

    Another odd one ... "its a mile ... as the duck flies"
  • tilly6277
    tilly6277 Posts: 202
    Not so bright-
    not the sharpest pencil in the drawer
    not the brighest crayon in the box
    a few sandwiches short of a picnic.
  • SherryRH
    SherryRH Posts: 810 Member
    Someone not so bright - Not the brightest crayon in the box.
  • fatsis
    fatsis Posts: 1,117 Member
    When a woman is a crank:

    "She has been that way every since someone dropped a house on her sister."

    When a short man tries to make up for his height (mouthy):

    "Don't make me come down there"
  • Tizz
    Tizz Posts: 38
    Bad mood " Who put sand in your vag___" or "been at the beach lately?"
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
    SOMEONE NOT SO BRIGHT

    Hi Soupy!





    {She's sooooooooo gonna kill me} hiding_smilie.gif
  • mholmes
    mholmes Posts: 949 Member
    Bad mood " Who put sand in your vag___" or "been at the beach lately?"


    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
    "the lights are on but nobody's home"
    "their cheese has slipped off their cracker"
    I also call people fruit loops quite often.

    Not so Nice= Grumpy Grumperson
  • fatsis
    fatsis Posts: 1,117 Member
    SOMEONE NOT SO BRIGHT

    Hi Soupy!





    {She's sooooooooo gonna kill me} hiding_smilie.gif

    D@#n
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
    When a woman is a crank:

    "She has been that way every since someone dropped a house on her sister."

    :laugh: :laugh: That is awesome!!
  • Mireille
    Mireille Posts: 5,134 Member
    Bad mood " Who put sand in your vag___" or "been at the beach lately?"

    Gonna have to use the "who put sand in your vag". Actually, I'm gonna use it today!! That is so funny!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • fatsis
    fatsis Posts: 1,117 Member
    SOMEONE IS NOT SO BRIGHT:

    Mouth breather. (picture it)
  • fatsis
    fatsis Posts: 1,117 Member
    When a woman is a crank:

    "She has been that way every since someone dropped a house on her sister."

    :laugh: :laugh: That is awesome!!

    You could follow that up with: "I wont mess with you b/c you'll get out your flying monkeys"
  • randimockensturm
    randimockensturm Posts: 49 Member
    that is too funny! the flying monkey one was too much I am laughing out loud.. hey!! it's working I'm laughing!!!!!

    here two I just remembered ... [to be said to a 3rd party while still within ear's shot of the person who was mean to you]
    "aren't you glad YOUR mamma didn't bring you up to be mean like him"

    or yet another
    "aren't you glad you don't have the problems he has that makes him be so mean to other people?"
  • Koozy81
    Koozy81 Posts: 250 Member
    SOMEONE THAT ISNT SO BRIGHT:

    "YOU ATE PAINT CHIPS AS A CHILD DIDNT YOU"
  • randimockensturm
    randimockensturm Posts: 49 Member
    oh my oh my that is too funny
  • mholmes
    mholmes Posts: 949 Member
    that is too funny! the flying monkey one was too much I am laughing out loud.. hey!! it's working I'm laughing!!!!!

    here two I just remembered ... [to be said to a 3rd party while still within ear's shot of the person who was mean to you]
    "aren't you glad YOUR mamma didn't bring you up to be mean like him"

    or yet another
    "aren't you glad you don't have the problems he has that makes him be so mean to other people?"

    haha I usually say something along the lines of "well someone's mama didn't love them enough as a child hmm?"
  • Poison5119
    Poison5119 Posts: 1,460 Member
    This one could be considered really harsh, so watch out:

    Someone not so nice:

    Did your gynecologist pull the wrong tooth?


    Someone not so bright:

    A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    SOMEONE THAT ISNT SO BRIGHT:

    "YOU ATE PAINT CHIPS AS A CHILD DIDNT YOU"

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: That's funny. I'll have to remember that one.
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
    Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

    Driveway doesn't quite reach the road.

    Dumber than a bag of hammers.

    As smart as bait.
  • peej76
    peej76 Posts: 1,250 Member
    My husband says this all the time to me "Here's your sign", something about Jeff Foxworthy, I dunno.

    The elevator doesn't go all the way to the top

    He/she takes the short bus
  • sindyb9
    sindyb9 Posts: 1,248 Member
    SOMEONE THAT ISNT SO BRIGHT:

    "YOU ATE PAINT CHIPS AS A CHILD DIDNT YOU"



    :laugh: :laugh:
  • snelfk
    snelfk Posts: 151 Member
    my family was just having this conversation on the 4th weekend, here's one not yet mentioned

    Not so bright

    His/her elevator doesn't go to the top floor

    then someone added - it never left the basment

    then someone else added; his buttons don't even light up
  • randimockensturm
    randimockensturm Posts: 49 Member
    ooooOOooOoo here is one my dad used to say.. I forgot..
    "dumber than whale poop"
  • LML79
    LML79 Posts: 697
    some one not so bright---

    elevators not reaching the top floor

    He’s one taco short of a combo plate.

    A few beans short of a chalupa.

    A few beers short of a six-pack

    He’s one egg roll short of a Pu Pu Platter.

    The only thing that keeps it from going in one ear and out the other is the “For Rent” sign in the middle.

    Someone needs to spackle her mouth closed before the rest of her intelligence escapes.

    He is a few fries short of a happy meal.

    His wheel is spinning, but the hamster is dead.

    Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.

    He’s all foam no beer.

    He’s one coffee bean short of a cappuccino.

    the lights are on, but nobody’s home

    he’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer

    He’s 1 peanut short of a snickers

    He has verbal diarrhea and mental constipation.
  • briblue72
    briblue72 Posts: 672 Member
    "Fell out of the Stupid Tree and hit every branch on the way down"
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