How do you stop "self-sabotaging" weight loss?

Options
kassiebby1124
kassiebby1124 Posts: 927 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I've been losing weight for the past year. I'm currently at 196. I started at 269 last year so I'm super proud of my progress. Sadly, I've been stuck in the 190s since January. I was totally excited when I got to 199 but I never exactly..got out of it. The lowest I got was 191 and then I shot back up to 207 the down again. I have a habit of "Self-sabotage." By that I mean, when I see myself getting closer to a goal, I over-indulge (I guess due to new found confidence) and gain back what I lost and then some. It's not really a conscious thing, it just kind of happens in the moment then I feel guilty of it and freak out about how it will affect my weight loss. Also, when I'm doing cardio (never happens when I'm lifting), the little voice telling you to quit is always there. I never know how to push past my limits and I think that is also a form of "self-sabotage." Why don't I want to see myself succeed? I acknowledge that I do this, but how can I deal with or stop this behavior? From people who have been in my shoes, what do you do?
«13

Replies

  • fivethreeone
    fivethreeone Posts: 8,196 Member
    Options
    Stop believing that weight loss is an emotional endeavor.
  • kassiebby1124
    kassiebby1124 Posts: 927 Member
    Options
    Stop believing that weight loss is an emotional endeavor.
    What do you mean?
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
    Options
    (I think) she means that you lose weight by persistently and accurately logging. If you keep doing that, you will reach your goal.

    That means to keep it up for a long time - which is what it takes to lose a lot of weight - you don't 'reward' yourself as you get closer to goal. You incorporate healthy, enjoyable, pleasurable eating into your life and fit it into your calories. This is your life. Once you hit your goal you' will then have to maintain it. And that means always keeping in mind both portion control, monitoring what you're putting in your mouth, and finding things you love to eat and a way to fit that into the calories you CAN eat without gaining weight.

    This is the rest of your life. Enjoy it.
  • kassiebby1124
    kassiebby1124 Posts: 927 Member
    Options
    Thank you. Last question: How do you push past the mental barrier that tells you that you "can't?" I know that it seems like a simple concept, but I keep getting held back because I can't break through mentally..
  • gigglesinthesun
    gigglesinthesun Posts: 860 Member
    Options
    personally I think it is actually about how you view your food intake. You seem to view it as a diet with tons of restrictions, so you celebrate by eating as much as you want. Perhaps see whether you can change that view, cause even if you were to lose another 70lbs, you would regain it all if you started to eat more then your maintenance calories.

    Does it need to be full of restrictions? No, but moderation might be the key. Perhaps it would help if every time you feel the temptation to celebrate only have half. This way you get the taste, but not all of the calories.

    Somebody else said in another thread that you can't outrun your fork and I fear he is right. Good luck :-)
  • fivethreeone
    fivethreeone Posts: 8,196 Member
    Options
    It means you don't have to "feel" something to do it.

    Simply do it.

    It's not about guilt or motivation or self-rewards. I mean, we're humans and humans deal with those things from time to time. Sure.

    But success is not that involved. It's about educating yourself, making a plan, and doing it.
  • sweetgold
    sweetgold Posts: 8 Member
    Options
    Remember " if you think you can or if you think you can't .... you're right !!"
  • SkimFlatWhite68
    SkimFlatWhite68 Posts: 1,254 Member
    Options
    I'm a big fan of "fake it til you make it".

    Do what a slim person would do. Follow in someone's steps who has done it. Make a plan and STICK TO IT. Focus on your goal, make a new one and remind yourself WHY you want it.

    Don't impose too many rules on yourself and keep a moderate deficit. Perhaps you are restricting yourself too much, and that's why you blow it. If you kept to a moderate deficit all year, perhaps you would have had greater success (I don't know, just guessing)...

    Self-sabotage sux. I have done it as well, but you have to kick it to the kerb and MOVE FORWARD!!

    Best wishes :)
  • missomgitsica
    missomgitsica Posts: 496 Member
    Options
    When it comes to pushing yourself, you just have to do it. You just have to keep going. I know it's easier said than done but I've had the same problem . . . and the only answer is to just do it.

    If self sabotage continues to be a big issue, see a therapist, because the underlying issues could be more emotion based than you realize.
  • vanillacoffee
    vanillacoffee Posts: 1,024 Member
    Options
    I am commenting to save... I feel EXACTLY the same way, and have stalled since January, and do the same thing.
  • cj731
    cj731 Posts: 32 Member
    Options
    Thank you. Last question: How do you push past the mental barrier that tells you that you "can't?" I know that it seems like a simple concept, but I keep getting held back because I can't break through mentally..

    I know the feeling exactly! A few weeks ago I couldn't seem to drop below 65kgs - hovered between 65.2/65.1 for ages and just couldn't seem to break past that number and into the lower half of the sixties. There was a definite psychological factor - I just couldn't seem to believe that I could actually get beyond that weight, and while I was thrilled with my progress I was a little discouraged that I had stalled. That little voice was telling me I'd done enough and I got a bit lax.
    What got me through was continuing to log so I *knew* I was doing the right things to lose, but forcing myself not to weigh for a while. After a few days having a break from the scale and knowing I'd burned enough calories to get me down about half a pound, I braved the scale and there it was, a number in the 64's. Having broken that I've managed to continue and am now in the low end of the 63's.
    If you keep doing all the right things that you know you've had success with, but don't allow yourself to see how close you're getting to your goal, you can't really freak out about it and crack and when you know how close you are. Just a suggestion that seemed to have success for me :) best of luck, you'll get into the 180's soon!
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    Options
    Simply don't allow yourself to over indulge. Find something else to do and ride it out until the urge passes.

    If you want a sweet or something, don't deprive yourself. Have a piece in moderation. It really is okay.

    Log in all your food and exercise and work to meet your food and exercise goals. Know what you are doing is living a healthy lifestyle that will be in place for the rest of your life.
  • pbluberry
    pbluberry Posts: 16
    Options
    When it comes to pushing yourself, you just have to do it. You just have to keep going. I know it's easier said than done but I've had the same problem . . . and the only answer is to just do it.

    If self sabotage continues to be a big issue, see a therapist, because the underlying issues could be more emotion based than you realize.

    I must agree with you. I use to do the same. I cheated on my diet today so my day is ruin, I will start again tomorrow, next week, next month... that day never comes. Now I just continue on even if I didn't do too well today. I will begin right now and do better today and continue on the right path. Just do it!!!!
  • kassiebby1124
    kassiebby1124 Posts: 927 Member
    Options
    Thank you all very much. When I first started school, I lost 10lbs (which was a month ago) and gained 5 back. I'll look back and see what I did at the beginning of the semester <3 Thanks so much
  • TheRealParisLove
    TheRealParisLove Posts: 1,907 Member
    Options
    Thank you. Last question: How do you push past the mental barrier that tells you that you "can't?" I know that it seems like a simple concept, but I keep getting held back because I can't break through mentally..

    Pick a fitness goal instead of a weight loss goal. Do you want to run a marathon or perfect your high-dive or climb a mountain? Whatever it is, pick a goal and then start working toward that goal. The weight will come off as a result of your efforts.
  • sarasmiles124
    sarasmiles124 Posts: 138 Member
    Options
    It means you don't have to "feel" something to do it.

    Simply do it.

    It's not about guilt or motivation or self-rewards. I mean, we're humans and humans deal with those things from time to time. Sure.

    But success is not that involved. It's about educating yourself, making a plan, and doing it.

    I need to keep this in mind next time I start to guilt myself and stop myself before I start doing things that will make me guilt myself. Thank you!
  • kassiebby1124
    kassiebby1124 Posts: 927 Member
    Options
    Thank you. Last question: How do you push past the mental barrier that tells you that you "can't?" I know that it seems like a simple concept, but I keep getting held back because I can't break through mentally..

    Pick a fitness goal instead of a weight loss goal. Do you want to run a marathon or perfect your high-dive or climb a mountain? Whatever it is, pick a goal and then start working toward that goal. The weight will come off as a result of your efforts.
    That is actually a really good idea. I want to do the Warrior Dash next year..
  • Natihilator
    Natihilator Posts: 1,778 Member
    Options
    Thank you. Last question: How do you push past the mental barrier that tells you that you "can't?" I know that it seems like a simple concept, but I keep getting held back because I can't break through mentally..

    I'm sad that at 53lbs. down, you havent figured out how to push past the 'I can't do it' barrier yet.

    You can because you did it before. That's all it takes for me, at least.
  • AntWrig
    AntWrig Posts: 2,273 Member
    Options
    Thank you. Last question: How do you push past the mental barrier that tells you that you "can't?" I know that it seems like a simple concept, but I keep getting held back because I can't break through mentally..

    Pick a fitness goal instead of a weight loss goal. Do you want to run a marathon or perfect your high-dive or climb a mountain? Whatever it is, pick a goal and then start working toward that goal. The weight will come off as a result of your efforts.
    That is actually a really good idea. I want to do the Warrior Dash next year..
    Set smaller goals. Next year is too far away. How about, I will run xx miles this week? I will do 100 push-ups this week.
  • 2spamagnet
    2spamagnet Posts: 60 Member
    Options
    Man - you've lost 53 pounds... That's like a bag of cement that you have gotten rid of. That is freaking awesome! If you can do that, you can lose the rest of the weight you want. Update your "Goals" and make sure things are current - if not, you may not be eating in a deficit, but with your weight loss, may be at "maintenance"? Won't hurt to check.

    Also what motivates me when I doubt I can finish my workout is to keep in mind why I am doing this in the first place...

Categories