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    Funniest Fat joke you said about yourself

    135

    Replies

    • Posts: 731 Member
      I'm not fat I workout.
    • Posts: 50 Member
      While training with a sparring partner at the dojo: "Aim for my chin... the first one..."
    • Posts: 2 Member
      So funny!
    • Posts: 529 Member
      "Don't worry if there is a Zombie Apocalypse, just trip me and keep running. I'll take one for the team!"
    • Posts: 395 Member
      If i just gain a little big more weight my Buddha belly will be able to hold my beer like a tv tray.
    • Posts: 169 Member
      I am top heavy with a whole lot of weight in my stomach/mid-section and upper body yet I have these fabulous, thin, shapely legs. I was at a yard sale last weekend with a friend who held up a sweater dress and said, "Isn't this cute?!" I said, "yeah, sure, I'm an egg with legs, that would look FABULOUS to show of my egg figure! I think they missed that category when they came up with "apple, pear, etc" " BAHAHAHAHAHA! Sad but true.
    • Posts: 1,820 Member
      A co-worked asked where I live?

      I said Boston.

      He was like, where in Boston?

      I replied, I have my own ZIP code, you'll find it.
    • Posts: 1
      When I started on this weighloss journey, I told my husband I was afraid to get on the scale. He asked "how come?" I said because I don't want the scale to scream "One at a time!" He just laughed at me and said "get on the scale"...lol

      My girlfriend and I were going to aquafit (part of my regime now a days) and we were getting a good workout. I looked at her and said "I am built for comfort, not for speed".
    • Posts: 142 Member
      There was a story on the news about a beached whale that was stranded a while ago, think it was down in England.

      I remember watching the news report and turning to my family and saying 'I don't know why they're making such a fuss about me sunbathing...'
    • Posts: 11
      Usually when some asks "Do you eat/like brownies(or any food)?" I'd just point to my stomach and say "Does it look like I eat brownies?".
    • Posts: 11
      I am 4'11" and I often said that it was faster to go over me than to go around me.

      That's funny. =D
    • Posts: 314 Member
      My friend told me that I had gained so much weight that I had three butts. I told her to pick one and kiss it...
    • Posts: 881 Member
      I'm a Mormon... We are told to have a year supply... I carry mine with me!
    • Posts: 7,512 Member
      too many to remember, but I do enjoy shocking others with my candid talk about my weight
    • Posts: 881 Member
      My buddy was 500 pounds, I was 400 and his brother was 300... We were walking down from CSU East Bay after graduation and the traffic was bumper to bumper... We were walking down as fast as the traffic this guy laid on his horn when we stepped into the street around an obstruction... I yelled back at him, "What You Never Seen Joggers Before!" Guy was lucky we didn't tear the doors off his mini van.
    • Posts: 362 Member
      While training with a sparring partner at the dojo: "Aim for my chin... the first one..."

      Hahahaha nice

      My mate used to say "I think I'm bulimic, cos everytime I look in the mirror, all I see is a fat *kitten* looking back at me
    • Posts: 149 Member
      I would say, "I don't have a six pack, I have a keg". Still no six pack but the keg is getting smaller!
    • Posts: 2
      all buff. no fluff.
    • Posts: 25
      Hahaha love your answer!!
    • Posts: 3,487 Member
      Someone made a crack about my weight so I told them 'I'm so fat I could be both sides of my family'
    • Posts: 45 Member
      I often refer to myself as having a "marshmallow coating".
    • Posts: 457 Member
      I once raced a pregnant woman and i came in third
    • Posts: 1,535 Member
      There was a story on the news about a beached whale that was stranded a while ago, think it was down in England.

      I remember watching the news report and turning to my family and saying 'I don't know why they're making such a fuss about me sunbathing...'

      LOL Brings back memories....back in my younger 20s, during that once-a-month-bloat I'd tell people I felt like a beached whale! LOL
    • Posts: 1,109 Member
      When people were posting pictures of their celebrity twin on facebook I said I couldn't do it because I couldn't find a good picture when I googled 'Marlon Brando the later years'. I cracked myself up with that one mostly because I'm female. I still think it's funny. :laugh:
    • Posts: 169 Member
      Oh and lets not forget the joke as to why I can't lose weight or why I ate so much:

      "It takes a lot of food and money to keep this weight up! No way I'm losing weight and just wasting all that money!!!"
    • Posts: 100 Member
      Someone asked me if I knew what I was having yet. I told them I was having twins and I would name them after their father--Ben and Jerry.
    • Posts: 110 Member
      "I'm so fat, my hometown is buffet." Not that funny, but I love it. Haha. (Hometown Buffet is a buffet!)
    • Posts: 329 Member
      This one I've used a few times:

      1349108473904_3521757.png
    • Posts: 71 Member
      Hilarious! But true!
    • Posts: 2
      When I was at my goal weight, I would say that I used to be so fat I broke my leg!! Which people laughed at but it was true! LOL.,. I broke it in four places just by doing a lil skip hop. CRAZY
    This discussion has been closed.

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