Funniest Fat joke you said about yourself

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  • ChrisRiches
    ChrisRiches Posts: 45 Member
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    I often refer to myself as having a "marshmallow coating".
  • 4homer
    4homer Posts: 457 Member
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    I once raced a pregnant woman and i came in third
  • allaboutthecake
    allaboutthecake Posts: 1,534 Member
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    There was a story on the news about a beached whale that was stranded a while ago, think it was down in England.

    I remember watching the news report and turning to my family and saying 'I don't know why they're making such a fuss about me sunbathing...'

    LOL Brings back memories....back in my younger 20s, during that once-a-month-bloat I'd tell people I felt like a beached whale! LOL
  • dangerousdumpling
    dangerousdumpling Posts: 1,109 Member
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    When people were posting pictures of their celebrity twin on facebook I said I couldn't do it because I couldn't find a good picture when I googled 'Marlon Brando the later years'. I cracked myself up with that one mostly because I'm female. I still think it's funny. :laugh:
  • carashirley
    carashirley Posts: 169 Member
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    Oh and lets not forget the joke as to why I can't lose weight or why I ate so much:

    "It takes a lot of food and money to keep this weight up! No way I'm losing weight and just wasting all that money!!!"
  • anlu37
    anlu37 Posts: 100 Member
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    Someone asked me if I knew what I was having yet. I told them I was having twins and I would name them after their father--Ben and Jerry.
  • breakhearts
    breakhearts Posts: 110 Member
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    "I'm so fat, my hometown is buffet." Not that funny, but I love it. Haha. (Hometown Buffet is a buffet!)
  • AllyCatXandi
    AllyCatXandi Posts: 329 Member
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    This one I've used a few times:

    1349108473904_3521757.png
  • MoochieRama
    MoochieRama Posts: 71 Member
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    Hilarious! But true!
  • lisamariep86
    lisamariep86 Posts: 2
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    When I was at my goal weight, I would say that I used to be so fat I broke my leg!! Which people laughed at but it was true! LOL.,. I broke it in four places just by doing a lil skip hop. CRAZY
  • Penny_Harrison
    Penny_Harrison Posts: 45 Member
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    Stole this one from my friend Rachel - "I'm not fat - God gave me airbags because I'm precious"
  • gingabebe
    gingabebe Posts: 165 Member
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    I once raced a pregnant woman and i came in third
    You are awesome, that one is good.

    A friend of mine always says she not fat, she's prosperous.

    I say in that my bulk is my insurance against starvation if I ever get stranded in a blizzard.
  • kimosabe1
    kimosabe1 Posts: 2,467 Member
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    This one I've used a few times:

    1349108473904_3521757.png
  • MickeyCastello
    MickeyCastello Posts: 269
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    When I was a very young man, a manager I worked for told me "Never cut yourself down, because there is always somebody waiting to do that for you."
  • Madame_Goldbricker
    Madame_Goldbricker Posts: 1,625 Member
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    I've said to my co worker before. If I get any fatter I'll have to grease myself up with butter to fit through the door.

    Common one's round here are; who ate all the pies? & I bet they've been eating straight from the pan.
  • Nimick22
    Nimick22 Posts: 2 Member
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    When i have to squeeze by someone in a tight space I say Sorry, my backside has its own zip code.
  • leann8806
    leann8806 Posts: 29 Member
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    I was with two of my rather large friends, and it was about 1 a.m. and we decided to go to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles after seeing some bands. People try to use the parking lot for the bar next to Roscoe's, so when we got out of the car the security guard asked, are you going to Roscoe's? I said, look at us, what do YOU think? (He started cracking up.)

    Hah too funny!
  • emjay6x3
    emjay6x3 Posts: 213 Member
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    My good friend and co-worker hike two days after work, and every now and then we run into some grazing cows on our trek. I absolutely adore animals, so of course I try to head over to one of the chunky critters for a pet -- and off they run! I didn't say this out loud, because my co-worker would've given me a dirty look, but in my head I shouted, "Don't run! I'm one of you!!"

    I think one of the best qualities for a person to have is the ability to laugh at one's self.

    :love: :flowerforyou:

    :blushing: :heart:
  • SummerLovesPhil
    SummerLovesPhil Posts: 242 Member
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    I'm not fat, I have a well-developed relationship with gravity.
  • oc1timoco
    oc1timoco Posts: 272 Member
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    I was asked one time; Why don't you want to get in the pool? Because when I get out there will only be 1/4 inch of water left.

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