Criticism
ninerbuff
Posts: 49,077 Member
The majority of people in the world aren't accepting of criticism. When criticized, many take a defensive stance and are usually angered or displeased from objective/subjective opinions. Some get emotionally bent out of shape because they believe it's a personal attack against them (and sometimes it is).
I'm telling you that it could be one of the best tools for self improvement. Instead of being defensive about it, hear it out, analyze it, and if it's legitimately something you could improve on, then do it. Seeing yourself through others eyes can be help one achieve and not always fall back.
Understand that some will be harsh, rude and mean with their criticism, some will be polite, and some will be brutally honest, but whatever the case, don't take it personally. Take it on as another challenge.
Have a great weekend.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I'm telling you that it could be one of the best tools for self improvement. Instead of being defensive about it, hear it out, analyze it, and if it's legitimately something you could improve on, then do it. Seeing yourself through others eyes can be help one achieve and not always fall back.
Understand that some will be harsh, rude and mean with their criticism, some will be polite, and some will be brutally honest, but whatever the case, don't take it personally. Take it on as another challenge.
Have a great weekend.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Replies
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I don't usually see criticism on here. It's either 1) Someone giving real, honest advice. Or 2) Someone setting some broscience straight. Posting threads like "Not losing, I need help" should come with a warning.0
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Thanks for that.
Everybody has their own style, and I think that's ok. I love my trainers that tell me "great job!" at the end of my workout and sound eager to work with me again next time. That makes me feel encouraged to work harder between now and then. I took ground school with a couple of different instructors, and I would have hated to be up in the plane with the woman. Her style of correction would have discouraged me and made me give up. I have gone riding with a woman whose riding lessons I would have hated for the same reason. Some people improve best from soft guidance; others are not discouraged by blunter guidance and benefit more from that.
I don't think that recognizing your individual style of learning and seeking that out while avoiding the kind you find demotivational is a bad thing. I think personal growth and progress are more important. (Would it be ideal if that personal growth entailed learning to take other kinds of feedback? Sure, but that's not where everybody is, and to borrow a page from yoga, just invite your practice to meet you wherever you are.)0 -
Agreed!! All the whiney "They were MEAN to me threads" get old....
They weren't mean, they were just honest and didn't sugar coat their advice.0 -
I'm feeling criticized, I am offended.
On another note, as a person who reviews the work of others there is no greater frustration than when I try to put down constructive criticism and a person gets defensive about it. The fact is, that if you don't leave yourself open to listening to suggestions you don't leave yourself open to growth.0 -
i accept that we all should take on board critism as how else will we improve. I do not accept though it should be delivered in a rude manner though. Also we must all remember that everyone is in different head spaces so a suck it up type of attitude doesnt work with everyone. it will make some shut down, whilst others will excel.0
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In for criticism.0
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The majority of people in the world aren't accepting of criticism.
That's a *terrible* way to start a thread.0 -
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Yes, some people are harsh, rude, mean and intentionally punishing with their criticism and it is personal. I don't mind anyone giving me criticism that is not framed in their need to punish me because they don't like something I've done, said, or just how I am. Rarely is any of my behhavior intended to hurt or offend, but some think it's okay to attack if they're hurt. The guy who says here, "I'm feeling criticized, I am offended," is exactly how I think everyone should respond in a situation where that's how they feel rather than saying something like, "What an A-hole!" or "Ignorant bi_ch!" It's much easier to learn something when people describe their feelings and perceptions rather than piling judgement and condemnation on the target or source of their discomfort. I try to do the same and realize it isn't easy, but it is still a better way for everyone.0
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Criticize away. It's the only way I learn.
When I go to boxing class... I don't expect my instructor to pat me on my shoulder and say "good job"
I expect him to look at my form, and tell me what I'm doing wrong. That way I can work on getting better.
Period.0 -
Styles of criticism will matter to individuals. Some like positive re enforcement, while other thrive on negative (harsh or direct) criticism. Whatever the case, it's still a tool that one could use to better themselves. It's hard for someone to criticize once their expectations are met.Thanks for that.
Everybody has their own style, and I think that's ok. I love my trainers that tell me "great job!" at the end of my workout and sound eager to work with me again next time. That makes me feel encouraged to work harder between now and then. I took ground school with a couple of different instructors, and I would have hated to be up in the plane with the woman. Her style of correction would have discouraged me and made me give up. I have gone riding with a woman whose riding lessons I would have hated for the same reason. Some people improve best from soft guidance; others are not discouraged by blunter guidance and benefit more from that.
I don't think that recognizing your individual style of learning and seeking that out while avoiding the kind you find demotivational is a bad thing. I think personal growth and progress are more important. (Would it be ideal if that personal growth entailed learning to take other kinds of feedback? Sure, but that's not where everybody is, and to borrow a page from yoga, just invite your practice to meet you wherever you are.)
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
I'm against all hate...even hate of critics...0
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Criticize away. It's the only way I learn.
When I go to boxing class... I don't expect my instructor to pat me on my shoulder and say "good job"
I expect him to look at my form, and tell me what I'm doing wrong. That way I can work on getting better.
Period.
and there is nothing wrong with that. I recently learnt how to ride a bike and the instructor corrected me when i was making mistakes. no problem. But when i was learning how to drive a car many years ago, the instructor was just plain rude, comments like your driving is like the rain. It was just unprofessional. How is that supposed to help me, it didnt it just put me off. Found another instructor who corrected me but in a friendlier manner.0 -
I think it's necessary if you want to improve at anything.0
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The majority of people in the world aren't accepting of criticism.
That's a *terrible* way to start a thread.
You are SO MEAN! I hate how mean everyone is on this mean horrible site!!!0 -
There are people in my life I give complete permission to criticize. Even tho it isn't always what I want to hear, I know it is meant for my benefit not pain. Aka.. my trainer, my boss, my parents. Everyone else.. it's like F that noise. LOL0
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Knowing that people may take criticism differently is why I posted this. It's to let them know not to take it personally nor let it affect them, but to use it in a positive manner. It's NEVER gonna always be constructive is the point. People will be rude. Being open to it through habit will help diffuse bad feelings about it.i accept that we all should take on board critism as how else will we improve. I do not accept though it should be delivered in a rude manner though. Also we must all remember that everyone is in different head spaces so a suck it up type of attitude doesnt work with everyone. it will make some shut down, whilst others will excel.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
i accept that we all should take on board critism as how else will we improve. I do not accept though it should be delivered in a rude manner though. Also we must all remember that everyone is in different head spaces so a suck it up type of attitude doesnt work with everyone. it will make some shut down, whilst others will excel.
^I agree!0 -
Question then. If you really love your job, but get a boss who was like that instructor , would you quit? If that boss' was hired because their technique (harsh rude criticism) worked, you'd let that stop you from keeping your job?Criticize away. It's the only way I learn.
When I go to boxing class... I don't expect my instructor to pat me on my shoulder and say "good job"
I expect him to look at my form, and tell me what I'm doing wrong. That way I can work on getting better.
Period.
and there is nothing wrong with that. I recently learnt how to ride a bike and the instructor corrected me when i was making mistakes. no problem. But when i was learning how to drive a car many years ago, the instructor was just plain rude, comments like your driving is like the rain. It was just unprofessional. How is that supposed to help me, it didnt it just put me off. Found another instructor who corrected me but in a friendlier manner.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
I find that most people aren't that interested in sincerely improving themselves.
And let's face it, self-improvement is hard work. Instead, it's much easier to interpret criticism as an attack and therefore subject to dismissal.
It's the ol' 'It's not me... it's you' scenario.
I have to say, however, that most of the people here on MFP are exceptions to this observation.
Personally, I've always welcomed sincere criticism, but I've encountered very few people IRL that feel the same way.0 -
I have no problem with constructive criticism.
I also make no promises that I won't react defensively, at least at first. Depends on what's being criticized, how sensitive/passionate I am about the subject, and whether or not I think the criticizer has any experience (i.e. maybe I should listen even if I initially think they're wrong).0 -
Question then. If you really love your job, but get a boss who was like that instructor , would you quit? If that boss' was hired because their technique (harsh rude criticism) worked, you'd let that stop you from keeping your job?Criticize away. It's the only way I learn.
When I go to boxing class... I don't expect my instructor to pat me on my shoulder and say "good job"
I expect him to look at my form, and tell me what I'm doing wrong. That way I can work on getting better.
Period.
and there is nothing wrong with that. I recently learnt how to ride a bike and the instructor corrected me when i was making mistakes. no problem. But when i was learning how to drive a car many years ago, the instructor was just plain rude, comments like your driving is like the rain. It was just unprofessional. How is that supposed to help me, it didnt it just put me off. Found another instructor who corrected me but in a friendlier manner.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I am quite a sensitive sole and hate confrontration but i would then have to take my boss aside and see if we could sort it out somehow. If after the discussion with the boss it didnt stop and i couldnt find a new job, then i would have to carry on but they wouldnt get the best out of me at all. This type of situation doesnt work well with me.
I have worked with someone in the past who was just so rude to us all. So i took a deep breathe and said that if he ever spoke to me in this way again i would report him, and luckily it stopped. He just moved on to i guess his next victim.
I still accept though i have to be critised and, once I make a mistake I try not to make it again.0 -
This will turn into a shirtshow, I'm sure, but...
Criticism is a whole *field.* Criticism includes both noting strengths and noting weaknesses. People have turned "critical" into pure negativity, but that's not actually what criticism has been. Oscar Wilde and Matthew Arnold and Alexander Pope weren't just *kitten* sitting at home--they were practicing an art. Criticism was consider it's own form of art, because it took skill and knowledge.
Even today--when you read a "A" or "5 star" rating of a movie or book or restaurant... that's CRITICISM. That is someone being critical--they just found whatever it was to be positive. It's bizarre how criticism or critical means "bad" to people... it isn't a bad thing. "Constructive" is a redundant adjective to describe criticism, because true criticism is instructive. Just because you didn't want to be informed that your form was bad, or eating 200 calories a day was not the best way to meet your goals, etc... if it's valid information, it's criticism.
Taken from Wikipedia: To criticize does not necessarily imply "to find fault", but the word is often taken to mean the simple expression of an objection against prejudice, or a disapproval. Often criticism involves active disagreement, but it may only mean "taking sides". It could just be an exploration of the different sides of an issue. Fighting is not necessarily involved.
Boy, if only that could apply here on good ol' MFP.0 -
Question then. If you really love your job, but get a boss who was like that instructor , would you quit? If that boss' was hired because their technique (harsh rude criticism) worked, you'd let that stop you from keeping your job?Criticize away. It's the only way I learn.
When I go to boxing class... I don't expect my instructor to pat me on my shoulder and say "good job"
I expect him to look at my form, and tell me what I'm doing wrong. That way I can work on getting better.
Period.
and there is nothing wrong with that. I recently learnt how to ride a bike and the instructor corrected me when i was making mistakes. no problem. But when i was learning how to drive a car many years ago, the instructor was just plain rude, comments like your driving is like the rain. It was just unprofessional. How is that supposed to help me, it didnt it just put me off. Found another instructor who corrected me but in a friendlier manner.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I would still do my job, but look for another. There is nothing worse than a supervisor who cannot learn to give constructive criticism.0 -
Yep. I like the "good jobs" from my trainers/coach to be few and far between so I know they really mean it! And if they tell me I'm doing something wrong, it's not to be mean--they're doing it because they see potential and areas where I can improve.Criticize away. It's the only way I learn.
When I go to boxing class... I don't expect my instructor to pat me on my shoulder and say "good job"
I expect him to look at my form, and tell me what I'm doing wrong. That way I can work on getting better.
Period.
Criticism from people in other areas of my life...hear it, think about it, if you don't agree, let it go. If it's criticism coming from a mean place, even more reason to let it roll off.0 -
Sometimes I think I want to be a writer. And when I'm writing short stories I seek out criticism from two places.
The first is a specialized site meant to generate a lot of constructive criticism. Positivity and niceness are stressed. I get a lot of good feedback about what I'm doing right. And I get a lot of nonsense about what I'm doing wrong. People couch their negatives in such wishy-washy terms that it's hard to determine whether they're just looking for something to balance the positives or if it really ruined their enjoyment of the story. I like the site but it's not enough for me to progress.
The second site I use for criticism is the meanest, nastiest, trolliest writing site that I can find. The kind of people who don't balance their negatives with a positive and are just looking for something to bash. These are the kind of people who will make it personal if they can and tear a story to shreds, line by line. I'm normally a fairly sensitive person, but I go in there knowing what I'm going to get and I put my big-girl pants on and wade in anyway because that's where I get stronger.
Without the first site, I probably would have given up writing a long time ago. Without the second, I'd still be in the weeds on plotting and character building. Criticism comes in many forms, but there's something to be learned from almost all of it if you can separate yourself from the personal side of things.
Not everyone can. I get that. But in the end I wonder if that's not up to the person seeking advice to seek out the kind of forum they want instead of asking users here to be mind-readers about what kind of advice will work on every random internet stranger.0 -
It's important to accept criticism in some areas, however it's also important, if you're working with people to help them lose weight or improve their fitness, to understand that some people will not respond well to criticism. No one is perfect, and it's your job to be effective with people, as they are, not as you wish they were.0
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It's important to accept criticism in some areas, however it's also important, if you're working with people to help them lose weight or improve their fitness, to understand that some people will not respond well to criticism. No one is perfect, and it's your job to be effective with people, as they are, not as you wish they were.
i like this, and it shouldnt be limited to just weight loss. you learn to adapt to the type of person you are dealing with to get the best out of them.0 -
Maybe I am just jaded, but I don't believe anyone owes it to me to provide appropriate criticism with appropriate delivery. Everyone has an opinion and everyone likes to share, and yes some people are nice and some are harsh, but at this point, I just listen to what I want to listen to. My success is not contingent upon whether or not people have been nice to me or harsh with me. In fact, no one else has any bearing on how well I do. If I let people get to me, I would be back to square one.0
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Nobody here really knows each other. That can be a good thing but when it comes to criticism that can be a recipe for disaster. Some people are motivated by it, some people are sensitive to it. Some people criticise as a form of help, some people are softer. If everyone was the same then it would be boring.
However there are some people on here who seem to criticise just to be nasty and that's not fair. I ignore these people because a response is what they want.0
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