Seriously, how can I look like this

24

Replies

  • Melissa22G
    Melissa22G Posts: 847 Member
    I was kind of hoping I WAS pregnant because at least that would be an answer!! But I just had my period and this has been a problem for years so no :(

    :noway:
  • Lauren8239
    Lauren8239 Posts: 1,039 Member
    I am the same way, my belly was flat and tight even after 3 kids, then all of the sudden once I hit 39, I have been to many Dr.s about it (I'm skinny everywhere else) and they all say it's my age once a woman hits 40, how old are you? Oh and I would go to the Dr. to make sure nothing is wrong.

    I'm 19:( and I did go to her and she told me people are fat because they eat too much and kept asking me to do a chlamydia test. I haven't been back


    .... and why would your doctor feel the need to do that test?
  • laylaness
    laylaness Posts: 262 Member
    I am the same way, my belly was flat and tight even after 3 kids, then all of the sudden once I hit 39, I have been to many Dr.s about it (I'm skinny everywhere else) and they all say it's my age once a woman hits 40, how old are you? Oh and I would go to the Dr. to make sure nothing is wrong.

    I'm 19:( and I did go to her and she told me people are fat because they eat too much and kept asking me to do a chlamydia test. I haven't been back

    This is not meant in a mean way, I promise, but she's right.

    I carry most of my extra weight in my belly and thighs. You just gotta keep going. Eat at a deficit, maybe lift weights for some body recomposition. Measure and track what you eat honestly.

    Also, maybe get the STD tests she recommends, just in case -- make sure you're healthy.
  • jaimrlx
    jaimrlx Posts: 426 Member
    I have PCOS and this is d*mn near the only place I really carry weight. Have been asked if I'm pregnant more than 3x in the last 5 years, and am the butt of jokes when I am and am not around. It's annoying, but I know how you feel. Something to get checked out.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    But you haven't seen me yet. I am HUGE! I genuinely look 5 months pregnant no joke. I hate myself so much

    I do agree with you. You look more distended than fat. Have you seen a doctor?
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
    Something to consider is `no added sugar` drinks.

    I bloat beyond belief if I drink anything that has the additives that are in these types of drinks.

    So I just stick to water.
  • Symonep
    Symonep Posts: 181 Member
    definitely look into some kind of wheat/gluten intolerance
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    I remember I worked with a guy like this. He used to joke about maybe it was a beer belly but it turned out it was a tumor. It was really sad because it was terminal and he had a 5 year old daughter.

    Maybe check with a doctor in case it is something medically serious.
  • iamanadult
    iamanadult Posts: 709 Member
    Click your heels three times and say the magic words!
  • naiauhane
    naiauhane Posts: 15 Member
    I know it's hard not to get upset about not looking the way you think you should. Many of us struggle with trying to feel beautiful and comfortable as is. I have weight I'd like to lose, but I've shifted my focus from losing pounds to gaining strength and feeling good about myself. I know when I take my dogs for regular walks, go to the dance classes I love, even lift free weights (which I recently learned I love), that my body starts to feel great, even if I still look the same outside. I feel more confident, sexier, happier, and my body AND MIND start craving that exercise activity. I don't spend hours in a gym, in fact I hate going to gyms and know it's a waste of money if I join one. I walk my dogs at a brisk pace, but still let them stop and smell things because it's their walk as much as mine. When I lift weights, it's only a 30-minute routine 3x per week that I enjoy. My dance classes are the longest/most involved workout I like to do, but even those I don't go to often because it's expensive (and in reality, I haven't been to a class in months because I can't afford it right now).

    Giving all those details isn't to say, "look how great I'm doing," because the truth is I fell off the wagon a couple months ago and need to start exercising again. In the time when I'm not active, I start to get down on myself, I don't feel as confident, and I get too fixated on my flaws. So I guess what I'm really saying is, find something that you enjoy and makes you confident, whether it's exercise or another hobby (although I think exercise comes with the added bonus of endorphins that help you feel good). When you find something you love to do, it makes you feel good about yourself. If you find the right type of exercise, it's possible to have that as something you love to do. Honestly, it's taken me a decade to really figure out what motivates me to be active, and I was really surprised by how much I like to lift weights when I previously found the free weight area in the gym to be intimidating. Granted I'm lucky to have a free weight set at home now because as previously stated, I really don't like the gym. I think it's boring and if I pay for a membership, I just waste my money. I don't think exercise should be a grind or boring, otherwise you're just wasting time feeling miserable.

    The other thing to think about is that you're still young and anything you can do now to make yourself feel good and be confident is only going to help you going forward. You have so much yet to come, including hormone and body changes. Getting hung up on something now to the point of getting down on yourself is only going to make it harder to overcome any future changes that you might also view as a negative. But if you can learn to be comfortable with who you are now, you'll find that any future version of yourself is just as awesome. I think this starts with being realistic about yourself. Not everyone is built like a super model, and we can't compare ourselves to others as a measure of how well we're doing. We're our own worst critics unfortunately. When I think of my best friend, I think of how fun she is to hang out with, how well we get along, how much she cracks me up, how I can be myself around her... I don't think about how big her boobs are, if she's skinny enough, what size her jeans are, or wonder if she ate too much sugar or carbs today. For some reason it's easier for us to see the good in our loved ones, and not all the good in ourselves. Being realistic means that you accept who you are. If you know you are a person who isn't going to workout or find a lifestyle diet that you stick with, then accept the body type that comes out of that lifestyle - celebrate the free time you have instead since you aren't a gym rat and don't need to count calories everyday, go do something else that is what you love instead and feel great about that. If you're working out regularly and eating a healthy diet everyday and you love doing it, then you'll see positive results on the inside regardless of how you look on the outside, although in my experience, usually the outside will follow suit eventually. But be realistic here too, you say you already eat healthy normally, but only you know if that's really true day-to-day or if it's a blanket statement that just sounds good. If eating healthy means (and I'm just making stuff up here for example) most days you're good but on a decent number of days you eat a ton of sugar and/or processed foods, then that's your reality. If that's how you like it, then be happy with it and accept that there might be some body changes or health ramifications from living that way. We make choices and those choices give us results. Most things don't just happen to us.

    I would suggest:
    1) evaluating yourself and being realistic - are you happy with the way you live and can you accept what comes out of it? are you wanting to make any changes and if you do is it truly because it's what you want or because it's what you think you're supposed to want (society pressure and all that)? what are your awesome positives that make you a great person? why do you think anything is negative and what do you want to do it about it if anything? what are you good at? what do you love to do? what makes you happy?
    2) use your evaluation to set up goals for yourself - example, you've realized you actually love a particular hobby, set goals to get going on that hobby like learning more about it (research at the library or online, or ask someone you know who participates in that hobby), finding social groups that participate in the same hobby, going to the group the first time, if it's a hobby where you create something set a goal to create a specific item or tackle something you haven't tried before
    Setting up short and long-term goals give you something to work toward and accomplish. I think the more we accomplish in life, the more addicted we get to finishing projects and that path leads to greater drive and passion toward the things we love to do.
    3) celebrate you and your accomplishments - go out for dinner, have a girls' night in, make a blog/forum/Facebook post, or give yourself a special treat
    4) keep setting goals as you progress so you have more things to work toward
    5) find a mentor who can help you on your way

    Okay, I've written way too much and maybe have gotten off topic in some areas, but mainly my idea was to impart some love for yourself. Of course, go to the doctor or gyne to get any health concerns ruled out. Talk to them about your health goals too if that's important to you. If you have a doctor that doesn't get you or is insensitive, find another one. I know you're young, but you can do it. I had to find my own gynecologist when I was 18 because my mom refused to deal with it. I had to find one in the insurance plan and that I liked and I had to drive myself to the appointment. I did it though, because it was important to me. Ask friends or other people you know and trust if they have a doctor they like. You could absolutely have an underlying health issue that no one has thought to check for, but you could also be perfectly healthy and just have a particular genetic disposition to collect fat cells in a particular area. I also second the idea that wheat/gluten and/or dairy can also contribute to bloat in your midsection. If you are eating anything that makes you feel painfully gassy or bloated regularly, or makes going to the bathroom unpleasant, then you probably do have a food allergy or sensitivity that you could work on and would help you feel better inside and out. Most doctors will suggest an elimination diet to try and figure out sensitive foods. Elimination diets sound like a huge pain initially, but are a great tool to help you with your health. Ask your doctor about it if it's something you're interested in or you think might help. If you do have fat cells that just like to collect there, in general, regular workouts and a good diet will help. I tend to get thicker in my middle, thighs and upper arms when I'm not working out. After several weeks (>4 weeks at least) I have noticed my stomach slowly getting smaller, and muscle definition showing up in my triceps. If I stop working out, then I go back to where I was. You have to decide what work you want to do and if you have to do it always in order to maintain your body in a certain way, then will it be worth the time and effort. Anyway, good luck with your health inside and out!
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
    Try to rule out medical causes. If none are there, it's just the way your body stores fat.

    My least favorite part of my body (when covered in fat) is my chest, and it's unfortunately the LAST place to go. I have to get very lean before my body decides to cut it all out. That's just the way it happens sometime.'

    Keep losing. Won't do you any good sitting around upset about it. If you need to cry, cry while you're burning!
  • Iri6ka
    Iri6ka Posts: 3
    Try paleo diet for 1 month...it is very restrictive but after about a week you realize that it's not that hard.
    Or if you can't do 100% paleo, eliminate carbs all together.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    Try paleo diet for 1 month...it is very restrictive but after about a week you realize that it's not that hard.
    Or if you can't do 100% paleo, eliminate carbs all together.

    ..........:

    Go see your doctor lady!
  • sarahertzberger
    sarahertzberger Posts: 534 Member
    Honestly by looking at your picture, please don't take this wrong, but it looks like you may have either some type of medical issue going on, or maybe some things in your diet making you bloat really badly because from what I see in the picture it does just look like a pregnant belly (not saying you are pregnant) but it doesn't just look like fat carried there, it looks more like it would be a bloat or something
  • RekindledRose
    RekindledRose Posts: 523 Member
    I've seen posts about a "Wheat Belly". I don't know the specifics, but if you search for those threads you might find some advice that may help you.

    Good luck in your journey! I wish I had gotten serious about health when I was 19!
  • RekindledRose
    RekindledRose Posts: 523 Member
    Try paleo diet for 1 month...it is very restrictive but after about a week you realize that it's not that hard.
    Or if you can't do 100% paleo, eliminate carbs all together.

    GTFO:angry:

    Go see your doctor lady!

    Clifslosinit, you didn't have to curse at the other person. That was rude and uncalled for. Grow up and act civil or follow your own advice and get out.
  • oiseau17
    oiseau17 Posts: 142 Member
    I am the same way, my belly was flat and tight even after 3 kids, then all of the sudden once I hit 39, I have been to many Dr.s about it (I'm skinny everywhere else) and they all say it's my age once a woman hits 40, how old are you? Oh and I would go to the Dr. to make sure nothing is wrong.

    I'm 19:( and I did go to her and she told me people are fat because they eat too much and kept asking me to do a chlamydia test. I haven't been back


    .... and why would your doctor feel the need to do that test?

    Some STIs cause abdominal bloating and have few-to-no other symptoms.
  • lebbyloses
    lebbyloses Posts: 133 Member
    It really could just be fat. That's where I store it and I hate it because it looks bad AND people who have fat bellies often develop other health problems. But it's not impossible that there's a medical issue, and it can't hurt to rule it out. If you don't like your OB-GYN, find a new one and ask him/her about it. But be prepared to hear that you really do just need to reduce your fat.
  • kkerri
    kkerri Posts: 276 Member
    First, you are adorable, so stop beating yourself up.

    Second, find a decent OBGYN to make sure it's nothing female.

    Third, play around with your foods to make sure you don't have any food sensitivities (this might apply if you find that sometimes it's like this and other times it's not - might be something you are eating - lactose, gluten, etc.). I'd try an elimination diet and see if that helps and if you can narrow it down to something.

    Fourth, sometimes it is all just genetics.
  • Iron_Feline
    Iron_Feline Posts: 10,750 Member
    I am the same way, my belly was flat and tight even after 3 kids, then all of the sudden once I hit 39, I have been to many Dr.s about it (I'm skinny everywhere else) and they all say it's my age once a woman hits 40, how old are you? Oh and I would go to the Dr. to make sure nothing is wrong.

    I'm 19:( and I did go to her and she told me people are fat because they eat too much and kept asking me to do a chlamydia test. I haven't been back

    Go back - a Dr that tells the truth is worth their weight in gold. TBH most people ARE fat because they eat too much - and you said yourself you have put on weight in your profile page. Clearly that's where you gain weight (i'm *kitten* fat then stomach :wink: :angry: )

    And take the test - as someone mentioned it could actually be the cause of the stomach bloating. It's quick easy and you lose nothing by taking it, but have LOTS to gain on the off chance it is positive :drinker: