How to fight depression

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Replies

  • TeresaMarie46
    TeresaMarie46 Posts: 226 Member
    But didn't you know Teresa that nice guys finish last?

    That is not necessarily a bad thing. OP was looking for a girlfriend, not a race... :smokin:

    ^^^This^^^
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    If you are feeling so desperate that you NEED a girl, it sounds like you are not emotionally healthy. What you NEED is a mental health intervention. The last thing you need right now is a relationship. Work on yourself first. When you are truly ready, it will happen. You'll know it's right because you'll feel safe and secure, rather than feeling desperate, clingy and depressed. Good luck. :flowerforyou:
  • astronomicals
    astronomicals Posts: 1,537 Member
    One girl told me that I would be a good catch while her boyfriend was there, lol. I've also been told that I am a funny cool guy. Why is it that I am all alone then?

    Thats basically like a chick calling you bro... shes making it known that you;ve been friendzoned.... My advice, man up and get outta womens friendzones.
  • RaggedyPond
    RaggedyPond Posts: 1,487 Member
    friendzone2.png
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    But didn't you know Teresa that nice guys finish last?

    No, nice guys that lack a spine finish last. Nice guys with testicular fortitude are great.


    Still a vast difference in being rude and being a gentleman. Gentleman get much farther where women are concerned than someone whom lacks manners.

    I do not disagree.
  • tallgrl212
    tallgrl212 Posts: 14
    lol, this is how us guys talk. I can tell that you ladies are kinda old (but young at heart). "Man up, you *****" is suppose to motivate them. If someone said that to me, it would show me that he cares. I am not trying to belittle anyone,

    You do not understand people. I know you don't realize it, but practically everything you say is offensive. Really, all men do not have your lack of social awareness.
  • aliciap412
    aliciap412 Posts: 170 Member
    if "pussi" is your motivation, you should at least spell it correctly.

    also, women (and men) are attracted to confidence more than anything. you need to work on yourself and build up confidence, it sounds like you are being hard on yourself and need to seek professional treatment for depression.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    OP, in all seriousness and honesty, that doesn't sound like depression. It sounds more like grieve or just general sadness. We all go through it, part of growing up.

    Just take it one day at a time. Try to distract yourself. The usual drill people tell you.

    When my ex left me and I shut myself out for a while, I wrote poetry. Do what you can to go through this rough period.

    Good luck.
  • CollieFit
    CollieFit Posts: 1,683 Member
    lol, this is how us guys talk. I can tell that you ladies are kinda old (but young at heart). "Man up, you *****" is suppose to motivate them. If someone said that to me, it would show me that he cares. I am not trying to belittle anyone,

    You do not understand people. I know you don't realize it, but practically everything you say is offensive. Really, all men do not have your lack of social awareness.

    That...!

    In your first post you basically say "I was a complete@rse to vulnerable people, then my girlfriend dumped me... Hey I earn good money and have a degree... why doesn't anybody love me...?" :huh:

    Maybe you need to re-think your value base...?!
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    But didn't you know Teresa that nice guys finish last?

    They may finish last but they never finish alone.
  • fShaw86
    fShaw86 Posts: 878 Member
    Disregard females, acquire aesthetics.

    Sorry you had to go through that, but you can get through this. :)
  • 3X173
    3X173 Posts: 40 Member
    If you broke your leg, would you ask a gym buddy to set it for you? Mental health issues can be treated by professionals. Go to one.

    Yea, but it costs like a $100 an hour? Who has money for that?

    you do, you told us how much you make. it is far more than i have ever raked in, and i've found money and time for therapy. it is very worth it.

    I will wait it out myself and see if I feel any better myself. I do feel much better by just making this thread.
  • 3X173
    3X173 Posts: 40 Member
    Don't worry about getting a girl. Seriously. You need to concentrate on YOU right now. Forget the whole 'virgin' stuff.

    First, if you're feeling self-destructive/suicidal get help! Call a hotline, see your spiritual leader, see a doctor about anti-depressives if you think you might need them. They're okay to use; think of them as a cast you'd put over a broken bone to help it heal.

    Next, work on your health and your self-worth aside from whether or not you're dating. Exercise is good for the endorphins. It's also good to volunteer to help others. It's amazing what a wonderful feeling you can get by knowing that you helped someone else.

    This other advice might get a few slams from people, but...can you rescue a dog from the shelter? They love you unconditionally, they go on walks with you, they cuddle on the couch when you need a good hug....dogs are just awesome companions! They've gotten me through many tough seasons in my life.

    Best wishes, and don't despair. Life gets better, just give yourself time.

    ^^^ This, all of it. Go to the gym more often. I was on anti-depressants for 16 years. I was able to get off of them (and I'm better than ever) since I started at the gym AT LEAST every other day. Cardio gives me more endorphins than weight lifting. You might need more cardio.

    And stop looking for a girl. Focus completely on you and your health, and someone will notice. Also, take a dance class. Dancing men are totally sexy.

    Thank you, Adw7677. I know that I need to do something else with my life. I can't let this depression get the best of me. I am better than this. I will definitely try MMA or even dancing. I love dancing even though I don't how to dance, lol.
  • new_beth_2013
    new_beth_2013 Posts: 109 Member
    You need some serious help. Gross.
  • new_beth_2013
    new_beth_2013 Posts: 109 Member
    if "pussi" is your motivation, you should at least spell it correctly.

    also, women (and men) are attracted to confidence more than anything. you need to work on yourself and build up confidence, it sounds like you are being hard on yourself and need to seek professional treatment for depression.

    Really. Plus, using that as motivation is only self serving. Someone who is ready for a relationship will have much different goals.
  • ames105
    ames105 Posts: 288 Member
    Being depressed makes you want to kind of hide yourself away, but you have to do the exact opposite. Get out of the house. Exercise, it will release happy chemicals for and make you feel better about yourself. Someone said 'work on yourself' and that is a must. You have to know, understand and love yourself first, before you can be in a good solid relationship.

    Then, you have to realize that a relationship will not come to you. Go out and do things, go to every party, every gathering your friends have. Take a recreational class, such as art, or join a book club. Join a dating website. Don't take it so seriously, get out and have fun. Date a lot of different girls, find out what you like, what you don't like. Just meet people.

    Once you do all that, the relationship will come to you. You seem like a nice, honest guy. You will find someone.
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
    Karma is a *****, I guess.

    OP, work on being a better person. You can fix the outside, but if you're gross on the inside, no one's going to want you. And stop lol'ing after every sentence. It reeks of low self-esteem.
  • calliekitten9
    calliekitten9 Posts: 148 Member

    Also, I've passed the point where I can't continue 'don't-worry-about-girls' stage. It's not a 'want' anymore, I NEED a girl, and it's not just for sex. Don't get me wrong, I want sex but I really value having a deep connection with a girl, even some cuddling. A girl who understands me and is really fun to be with. I am really a fun guy.

    Here is the thing...anything you say you NEED, is going to control you and how you feel about yourself...and it is just going to be a vicious cycle.

    It is understandable to WANT someone to share your life with....but your identity and self worth should not be based on whether you have someone in your life or not.
  • JuliaLee67
    JuliaLee67 Posts: 149
    I can't tell if you're [still] trolling or not, but here goes. You admit not just to openly mocking mentally ill people, but to actively trolling them as well. You also seem completely oblivious to how offensive you are being here.

    Those are not the actions of a person with "a good heart and good personality", those are the actions of an *kitten*.

    But there's good news for you, as being an *kitten* can be treated, so stick a crowbar in your wallet and pay for some professional help and work on yourself. That is what you really need.

    Good luck.
  • AFGyrl
    AFGyrl Posts: 34 Member
    bump
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    After reading the OP, that doesn't sound like Depression to me. It sounds like you're sad because your life is kinda boring at the moment and you don't see it going anywhere anytime soon. There's a big difference between that and a problem with brain chemistry.

    (If your problem is depression then you should get professional help.)
  • kamakazeekim
    kamakazeekim Posts: 1,183 Member
    You are on a good start...working out is a great tool to use against depression. You probably need a bit more intensive help though. You should see a counselor to work through some of your social issues (we all have them so don't feel weird or anything) and talk to either your primary doctor or a psychiatrist about seeing if a low dose of an anti-depression and/or anti-anxiety med would be a good fit for you. Hang in there! *hugs*
  • Catlady87
    Catlady87 Posts: 302 Member
    Like another stated, I honestly can't tell if you are 100% genuine.
    If you can't go to the Drs just yet, go to depressedtest.com and answer honestly. It will give you a very good indicator of if you are clinically depressed.
    You may not actually be depressed, but just unhappy with how your life is playing out and that it is not what you expected to have by now. Sounds like you have low self esteem, and place more emphasis and importance on values that others don't.

    On a separate note, as someone who is recovering from depression I just want you to know that it is people like you who say "Man up, pull yourself together" etc that prevent people like me and millions of others from expressing our need for help and continue suffering in silence and dying a little bit more on the inside every day until we finally can't take it anymore and just break down on the inside and out.
  • Rai007
    Rai007 Posts: 387 Member
    OP are u a muslim ??? then read my comment ,, Otherwise NO

    Muslim brother u are acting very wrong. VERY WRONG. how can u use these words
    . i mean i cannot even type them. U are addicted to porn i must say or have been in very vulgar circumstances.
    U can add me as friend if you are a muslim and we can talk about it there.
  • kamakazeekim
    kamakazeekim Posts: 1,183 Member
    After reading the OP, that doesn't sound like Depression to me. It sounds like you're sad because your life is kinda boring at the moment and you don't see it going anywhere anytime soon. There's a big difference between that and a problem with brain chemistry.

    (If your problem is depression then you should get professional help.)

    You're right about depression being about brain chemistry. It sounds like his social isolation has been an ongoing problem though. He's completed his undergrad so I'd estimate his age to be around 23 or 24...and he's had a girlfriend yet is still a virgin which in and of itself is not a problem be he expressed negative feelings about it so what is it that held him back from becoming sexually active? Just from his description I think he has some anxiety with a history of dysthymia which is now manifesting as depression. He should see a professional.
  • SkinnyFatAlbert
    SkinnyFatAlbert Posts: 482 Member
    5'10" 185 is overweight? Jeez. I'm 5'11" 237. Maybe I need to be the depressed one :(
  • brraanndi
    brraanndi Posts: 325 Member
    ....

    Just read OP's second post, you're creepy dude. That's why you can't get the ladies.
  • SkinnyFatAlbert
    SkinnyFatAlbert Posts: 482 Member
    bump

    grind
  • zeebruhgirl
    zeebruhgirl Posts: 493 Member
    Okay let's see if I got this right.

    You're a 25 year old virgin, but your only motivation seems to be "pussi" and NEEDING to be with someone.
    And you acknowledge that help would benefit you, but won't pay for it.
    And sounds like you kinda expect women to just fall over you because you're a man.
    AND you've even considered putting a pet in the middle of this, who will be dropped off at a pound, or cause you to be evicted.


    Sounds like you have some dependency problems.
    And you are a womanizer.
    Well a wanna be one...
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Is this post real?

    Arm chair diagnosis, if real: You are not depressed, you are sad. Depression is a chemical imbalance that makes it impossible for you to function without significant effort or derive enjoyment from ANYTHING.

    I am guessing that you are socially awkward. You've probably struggled your whole life to form meaningful attachments to other people. In the past you probably compensated for this by have had a large pool of people to bounce around. As you have aged your social circle is becoming smaller and you feel your loneliness more. You did not suddenly become lonely, you suddenly became aware of your loneliness. Look at how you speak and treat others and you will probably discover that is source of your troubles.

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