Skinny/fit people who say, "I'm so fat."

tritepoet
tritepoet Posts: 119 Member
in Chit-Chat
This is something I've been thinking about, as an eating disordered person in recovery. A friend of mine posts photos of herself where she looks absolutely trim, and apologizes for how fat she looks.

As someone sensitive to body image, and occasionally worried about this girl's health as well, I see so much more in this than I think she realizes, and I don't think many people who post like this realize what they're doing.

This girl states that she is looking fat, and the casual observer sees this girl, as beautiful as she is, as fit and trim, with a body most people would envy, and thinks, what does that say about most people on this planet? We all must be so much less, at the very least in her eyes, and not only that, but it displays the unhealthy mentality this girl holds in her own mind, that she is as beautiful as she is, and she is still unhappy. Especially to an eating disordered person who would literally die to have a body like she has, this is a very triggering message, not only to those with an ED but to the average person, to a young girl growing up, whoever it may be. Because the fact is, girls (and guys) do this all the time, with no second thought as to what it is they are really saying, the message they are truly portraying.

I think we should all try to see ourselves in a positive light, to be kind to ourselves, to promote positive messages of health and beauty. Criticizing ourselves in public not only shows an unhealthy mentality in the person, but also sends an unhealthy message to everyone receiving it.

Thoughts?
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Replies

  • recovery114
    recovery114 Posts: 24
    I agree. I have a friend who does this all the time. It's like if you're fat then I must be frickin' super morbidly obese! Which ironically makes me want to binge!
    ETA: you look pretty slim in all your pictures btw!
  • crackur
    crackur Posts: 473 Member
    being fat is a belief that came from a person's own perception........anyone can be fat if they believe it......vice versa.
  • SailorKnightWing
    SailorKnightWing Posts: 875 Member
    She's fishing for compliments. Call her out on it.
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    In an effort to stay positive........

    I am POSITIVE....that I am FAT!
  • bridgew24
    bridgew24 Posts: 143 Member
    Anyone who publicly whinges about their weight (other than on here!) is just attention seeking. If it's said privately to a friend that's a different matter.
  • Kirstyw871
    Kirstyw871 Posts: 216 Member
    She's fishing for compliments. Call her out on it.

    Yes, I too believe those who do such things are calling out for attention.

    It's pathetic.
  • ingeh
    ingeh Posts: 513 Member
    I do this sometimes, my friend said Iv got my figure back after kids and I dont need to worry about losing more but I still get paranoid im fat. I think its just a mindset and we need to learn to see ourselves how everyone else does. Its hard if your been bigger and have spent ages losing. I am however getting around my mindset and can see im slim now so I dont moan as much
  • amsipub
    amsipub Posts: 84 Member
    It depends on the person. I know that I weigh more than what people assume I actually weigh. Plus, sometimes the picture just isn't as flattering to that person so they see a bulge in their usual problem spot so that's why they say that they look fat. I agree with bridew24 that if they are publicly saying it on a regular basis then it's definitely an ego stroke, but if it's one picture that they are commenting on with a close friend then they have a different frame of mind.

    Plus, doesn't everyone have a day where it doesn't matter how much you weigh you just feel bloated and heavier than usual?
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    I am not saying that it is always the case...


    http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/body-dysmorphic-disorder/DS00559


    It does however exist.
  • KT193
    KT193 Posts: 33 Member
    Someone who does this is just attention seeking. If they really thought they looked fat in the photo why would they put it up for everyone to see??? I hate my body and you won't find any photo's of me anywhere, only face pics. There are plenty of people who are slim and still have body disorders or image problems and I think this is just as important to recognise as overweight people with problems.
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    EEGLSo2.gif


    I also hate when women who are clearly beautiful do that and fish for compliments.
  • markpmc
    markpmc Posts: 240 Member
    Well I'm about 17% BF and I think I'm fat. I think I'm fat because my GOAL is abs which means I need to be around 12% BF. Perhaps she's simply not at her goal.
  • Livingdeadgirl44
    Livingdeadgirl44 Posts: 264 Member
    I used to be 63kg and I thought I was still fat having lost quite a bit of weight. In fact I was just wobbly because I hadn't done any exercise. Now I'm back up to 73kg and I'm wondering why I didn't appreciate it more when I was slimmer!
  • Yanicka1
    Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
    She feel fat. I sometime feel fat and it is all about how I feel about myself and has nothing to do with anyone else. It is not a critique of those that weight more than I do, or those with ED.
  • Martucha123
    Martucha123 Posts: 1,089 Member
    She feel fat. I sometime feel fat and it is all about how I feel about myself and has nothing to do with anyone else. It is not a critique of those that weight more than I do, or those with ED.

    this 100%
    Can be she is attention seeking and therefore offending those with ED or bigger then she is, but it's quite possible she feels fat. I have gained 9lbs and I feel fat sometimes. even though my BMI is normal, even though my bf% is below 25% even though I usted to be 25 lbs heavier then I am now. I have the right to feel the way I feel. I say it sometimes at loud, I don't intend to offend anybody. Why so many people assume the worse?
  • tritepoet
    tritepoet Posts: 119 Member
    I never meant to imply that this girl intends to offend anyone, and I in fact stated that I feel she may have an unhealthy relationship with her body image. She of course can feel how she feels, no one here is debating that. My own point was that perhaps we, as a society, could be more aware of the messages we send out when we trash talk ourselves in a public domain, such as the internet.
  • littleburgy
    littleburgy Posts: 570 Member
    I think often when thin girls calls themselves fat, I don't think they're aiming to make heavier people feel self-conscious -- often they are too concerned about their own image to worry too much about others. They tend to look down on themselves more than they do other people.

    I personally don't understand "selfie" photos and that overall culture. If there a photo and I think I look fat in it, I don't post it.

    I used to irritate friends when I was a teenager (before the internet) -- I would often call myself fat (when I wasn't) or ugly but at the time I genuinely felt bad about myself and needed the encouragement. Though I think now I would practice more sensitivity about how this projection made others around me feel.

    I do admit that at times I would ask a close friend or my husband "do I look like I've gained weight?"

    Though now that I have the courage to weigh myself weekly that isn't an issue anymore :P
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  • mmckee10
    mmckee10 Posts: 405 Member
    She's fishing for compliments. Call her out on it.

    This. This *kitten* gets really old. lol. Normally, I just call them out on it and it doesn't happen a whole lot after that.
  • Onesnap
    Onesnap Posts: 2,819 Member
    When someone says those words out loud it creates a really awkward situation for the other person.

    I just always say that I'm a healthy weight and always have been but that I use MFP to stay on track (fitness and nutrition tracking). It also helps me to maintain or to lose a little to fit into older clothes. I have learned that if I don't track and when I don't weigh in for a really long time it's easy to spiral out of control.

    Anyone that is a healthy weight or in great shape that whines they are FAT are really just looking for attention or pity. Or they actually have an issue/illness that causes them to see themselves as fat. More times than not the person is looking for someone to praise them or sympathize with them.
  • BorntoROAR
    BorntoROAR Posts: 91 Member
    I too believe that we should ALL be kind to ourselves...no matter what we currently weigh or look like. We HAVE to love ourselves first and be our own best friend!!!
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    OR, they have body dysmorphia. We don't know the struggles others battle, so rather than worry why they do what they do or don't, why not focus on making yourself the best version of you that you can?
  • tritepoet
    tritepoet Posts: 119 Member
    I think often when thin girls calls themselves fat, I don't think they're aiming to make heavier people feel self-conscious -- often they are too concerned about their own image to worry too much about others. They tend to look down on themselves more than they do other people.

    Yes, I don't think it has anything to do with making heavier people feel anything one way or another. I don't think when people post things like that, that they have any idea what they are projecting, because they -are- so concerned with themselves and their perceptions of their body image.
    My thought is, should we all not be more aware of the messages we are reinforcing for people everywhere when these kinds of things are put out into the world?
    Society starts with the individual I think.
  • Pookylou
    Pookylou Posts: 988 Member
    She feel fat. I sometime feel fat and it is all about how I feel about myself and has nothing to do with anyone else. It is not a critique of those that weight more than I do, or those with ED.

    Yep, while I am a lot happier with my body than I have been in the past, I still have days where I feel like an epic heffalump. Other days I feel like a sexy ninja :laugh: I think the thing to remember is would you say to your best friend what you say to yourself? (I suck at this!)
  • tritepoet
    tritepoet Posts: 119 Member
    OR, they have body dysmorphia. We don't know the struggles others battle, so rather than worry why they do what they do or don't, why not focus on making yourself the best version of you that you can?

    I include myself in my thoughts here, and determine to be positive about myself as well. This girl is an example of my point.
  • EmilyOfTheSun
    EmilyOfTheSun Posts: 1,548 Member
    This may or may not be the case....but it's possible that she doesn't actually think she's fat, and is just fishing for compliments. If her posts trigger an unpleasant emotional response for you, you could remain FB friends, but "hide" her posts from your feed.
  • punkinkat
    punkinkat Posts: 85 Member
    I agree with the others who have said she is likely doing it as a form of compliment fishing and attention seeking. I bet you could throw a fun monkey wrench into her fiendish plan by replying with something like: "I can sympathize, honey. We all have our fat days."

    LULZ.
  • SkinnyFatAlbert
    SkinnyFatAlbert Posts: 482 Member
    As someone who's 5'11" 238lbs and had a high of 365lbs I can't help but roll my eyes when I hear a skinny girl whines about how she wants to be thinner so they can wear a slightly smaller clothes size or score a slightly hotter boyfriend.
  • PennyM140
    PennyM140 Posts: 423 Member
    If I was sitting next to a heavy person trying to lose, they might think that I'm in near perfect shape. When I look at myself, I think I have a loooooooong way to go. It's just self-perception. I've come a long way, but I think if I were ever totally satisfied, I'd stop. Maybe many of us are that way. You look at the small imperfections and want to improve. It's not a slam on anyone, it's self-reflection.

    I agree with this. I obviously have quite a bit of weight to lose and sometimes it irritates me when people say "oh you're fine the way you are". or "you could lose 10 pounds if it would make you feel better but you don't need to lose any more than that".
    I am not happy with my body. I have plenty of fat to spare. I'm not even trying to get super skinny, just a trim, fit, normal weight.
    I try to take it as a compliment, they probably mean well. But what I want my friends and family to say is good for you, push hard and achieve your goals. Granted I'm not posting pictures and whining about being fat, but if someone asks me I tell them I am unhappy with my body and trying to change it.
  • CollieFit
    CollieFit Posts: 1,683 Member
    I agree that a lot of women who do the public weight drama-lama stuff are just fishing for compliments...

    BUT... I also think "fat" is kind of relative to what you're used to and what in your ideal aesthetics are in your own mind.

    So, for instance at 150lb I currently feel fat (because my normal happy weight is 125lb), but a woman weighing 300lb might get pissed off that I call myself fat at my weight? The whole "Well if YOU think you're fat, then what does that make ME?"-argument is kind of pointless.

    I appreciate that in the ED world the whole thinking process is more pathologised though.

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