Skinny/fit people who say, "I'm so fat."

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  • PennyM140
    PennyM140 Posts: 423 Member
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    Of course it is unhealthy to feel that way about yourself. And just because not everyone vocalizes how they feel about their image doesn't mean that they aren't worried, stressed, or upset about it on the inside.
    So what if she, or anyone, is fishing for a compliment? Maybe someone is having a bad day or something else is going on in their life. Maybe they have been working so hard to lose that last five pounds and feel fat because the scale won't budge. Maybe they thought losing a bunch of weight would make them confident and it didn't.
    Why be hateful? If you can't be nice and give a compliment at least just ignore their comment.
    You never know what someone else is dealing with.
    If if bothers you that someone smaller than you isn't happy with their body, you're probably being jealous. Most likely they're worked hard to get where they are.
  • tritepoet
    tritepoet Posts: 119
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    So what is your solution??

    So someone is in the mood to bash themselves, and according to your theory this causes emotional harm to other people...

    What is your solution? Prevent that person from being honest to themselves about how they feel in that moment? have some kind of censorship so no one else gets upset by default?

    I never said I had a solution, in fact, I would be hard pressed to find anyone that can find one. My thought was to bring awareness to something we may not have been thinking too much about beforehand. Is that not sufficient, to call something out and bring others in to talk about it and share perspectives?

    My feeling would be that each of us should just try to be kinder to ourselves, and be aware of what unkindness can bring, in both ourselves -and- others.

    I don't understand why such a general and basically positive thought is getting this weird kind of criticism and backlash.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,248 Member
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    Is it any better if a fat person complains about being "so fat?" What's the cutoff where it's acceptable to hate yourself? Is it at 20 pounds overweight or fifty or a hundred?

    I'm as guilty as anyone of having "fat" days where I feel like a popped tube of Pillsbury dough. I try not to verbalize them, because I don't like self-hate. I don't like it coming from skinny people or from bigger people.
  • tritepoet
    tritepoet Posts: 119
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    Is it any better if a fat person complains about being "so fat?" What's the cutoff where it's acceptable to hate yourself? Is it at 20 pounds overweight or fifty or a hundred?

    I'm as guilty as anyone of having "fat" days where I feel like a popped tube of Pillsbury dough. I try not to verbalize them, because I don't like self-hate. I don't like it coming from skinny people or from bigger people.

    I don't think it is any better. I used the example I did because it's personal to me, and because it illustrates how even the "beauty ideal" can be shown to make someone look down on themselves and how that can spread. It doesn't matter in the end what a person's looks are, I just think we should try to be kinder to ourselves no matter what that means.
  • TygerTwoTails
    TygerTwoTails Posts: 108 Member
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    My best friend in high school, who was (and still is) gorgeous and thin always used to refer to herself as fat, when I was her fat best friend. It really used to upset me that she thought that about herself and that it made me feel like a whale. I would say that too, "you are not fat. If you're fat, I'm a freakin' whale".

    Well, years later I have come to the conclusion that everybody has the right to think about their own body in whatever way they please. It may be a disordered way of thinking and a person may need help in accepting who he or she is and being thankful that he or she has a body at all, but that's another story. If someone thinks of herself as fat, then as far as she is concerned, that is what she is (even if you believe differently).

    I do agree that we all need to stop hating on ourselves and others and show compassion for other people's thoughts about themselves.
  • GangstaMa
    GangstaMa Posts: 39
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    I am not saying that it is always the case...


    http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/body-dysmorphic-disorder/DS00559


    It does however exist.


    I agree..Its a hard thing. BDD is real.. not for everyone of course
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    My thought is, should we all not be more aware of the messages we are reinforcing for people everywhere when these kinds of things are put out into the world?
    Society starts with the individual I think.

    Good luck with that.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,248 Member
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    Is it any better if a fat person complains about being "so fat?" What's the cutoff where it's acceptable to hate yourself? Is it at 20 pounds overweight or fifty or a hundred?

    I'm as guilty as anyone of having "fat" days where I feel like a popped tube of Pillsbury dough. I try not to verbalize them, because I don't like self-hate. I don't like it coming from skinny people or from bigger people.

    I don't think it is any better. I used the example I did because it's personal to me, and because it illustrates how even the "beauty ideal" can be shown to make someone look down on themselves and how that can spread. It doesn't matter in the end what a person's looks are, I just think we should try to be kinder to ourselves no matter what that means.

    On the flip side, I do find some comfort in knowing everyone else feels what I feel, that I'm not alone, that even the "beautiful people" have insecurities and bad days, that they don't magically go away when you hit your goal. It helps keep me grounded and realistic.

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