Not getting support anymore

Family can be like that... Thats why i come here for support. My mom told me not to bother talking to my sister about what I lost. because she'd complain... We are here for you as a weightloss family.

Let them read this:

Hello There!

Were you trying to push someone who has taken on the challenge of a fitness goal, into eating some crap? This person has set out on a mission to get herself in the best shape of her life. This requires eating some food that doesn't taste as great as what you are offering and it is very difficult and challenging to say no . It is a very very difficult sacrifice to make in giving up all the more delicious tasting foods in pursuit of a fit body and it becomes even more difficult when people like you constantly question what she is eating and and keep offering her more crappy food to eat. The crappy food you are offering may taste so delicious but the very sad and unfortunate truth is that it makes our bodies look like total ****. I wish it weren’t the case, but it is true.

Even if this person doesn’t need to lose any weight, the crappy food will STILL make her body look like **** so it’s not only about gaining or losing weight. Here is a person trying to accomplish a very difficult goal of getting and staying in great shape, and you come along and try to throw her off course. How about giving her a little support instead ? This process is very challenging.

If you want to eat crap go right ahead,.. we all make our own choices but there is no need to try and drag others down with you. Or maybe you just don’t realize that eating crap makes you look like crap (many people don’t know that) and you think it is just genetics or aging that causes us to have dangling lard all over our bodies? It doesn’t have to be that way. Start eating right as well, and you will soon see how nice you will start to look and feel and you will see that it is worth giving up the crap. There is no doubt that it SUCKS saying no all the time to the pizzas, the cookies, the cakes, the ice cream and such. It really does SUCK.

As delicious as all the crappy foods can be, they don’t come close to being as fun as it is to walk around in a lean, hard, tight body and look good in any piece of clothing. The right food will give you this look and feeling…foods such as plain chicken, oatmeal, fish, and vegetables. It’s a hard pill to swallow in giving up all the goodies but once you accept the facts you can make the best of it. How would you like to go clothes shopping and have everything look good on you? It is completely possible if you’ll stop eating all the crap and make the right choices each day.

So there you have it. That is why you were reported as a “crap pusher”. Eating right and exercising is very hard work but very worthwhile mission and you are welcome to join in on the fun! If you don’t want to, no big deal but please stop pushing the crap on others and just keep it to yourself.

wow, i'm sorry your family is not more supportive. i haven't encountered this with my family, but workmates yes. when people see you doing something they cannot or will not do, they don't know how to say anything encouraging, but just the opposite. it's sad really.

this place is great for support. we all have the same goal.

Your last sentence says it all.

My wife found this site for me - but now that I have taken control and been successful, she seems to resent my accomplishments. I know you you feel.

I think you are correct in that jealousy is kicking in. You have to try and accept that not everyone will celebrate with you (us) and that WE have to be proud of our accomplishments and know that we are doing great! I wish I knew the answer to this, but know that we are in it together and will support each other. Congratulations!!

very well put! Im so happy i found MFP!!!

Change is scary, especially in someone you love. As an overweight person they related to you a certain way and they aren't sure how to do that any more. They probably have their own insecurities about their bodies, and seeing you conquering yours raises the question for them - why aren't they as well?

Really if you want continued support you probably need to show them you are still the daughter and sister they've known and loved, you just feel personally healthier now!

Try to be sensitive to them as well, don't comment on how gross you felt as a size 12 if your sister wears a size 12 - nobody enjoys feeling judged like that.

If you can prove to them that you aren't judging them or trying to rub your success in their noses, the arguments might disappear. Just try to think of what the things you say would've sounded like before you lost the weight.

Great job on the weight loss! It's a major accomplishment! Stick around here for more support when you need it

I know how you feel, I get the same attitude from everyone around me. In fact, most people i'm surrounded with are trying to get me fat, my family, at the office, even my wife! She even told me so.

I say take most of their comments surrounding wheight with a grain of salt - focus on the positive encouragement at MFP!

There is always some rivalry. Try to ignore it and make your weight off limits as a topic of conversation.

Sorry to hear the lack of support. One thing you are saying is size 12 is fat -- for you. And, in a culture that supports being overweight, you are speaking against it. That is why you need to find support wherever you can. People don't like change, especially when someone else changes something and it makes them uncomfortable. I know it took me years to change that I didn't want to be fat. Now, I am doing something about it.

My kids are growing and playing sports, so they can eat anything and not gain weight. Whenever my wife serves them ice cream, she asks if I want a bowl. After a few weeks, she realized to stop asking. It comes from all directions. Don't get me wrong, my wife has lost 10 pounds and is now down to her "ideal" weight, inside the healthy BMI range. So, she understands, it just comes out because she does not want me to be left out.

and about clothes, when you can afford it, buy what you need. Clothes need replacing at times. Simply buy an extra bra or whatever to "replace" the one that wore out. Then, throw one of the biggest ones away or give to charity. Simply, "I don't wear it any more" is a good enough reason.

Good luck.

It is priceless to have an On-Line Family to support and encourage you during your Journey. My On-Line Family "Gets It" in ways that my Family just cannot get. Especially my Sister. I used to be the Big Sister by Age & Weight. Now that I am at my Goal Weight, if even one word is said about my Diet or Exercise she turns it into an argument and claims that I am "Just a Better Person" than she is. I tried to reason with her~~I am not "Better" than anyone, just "Healthier than I used to be.
Some arguments you just can't win.

I am so sorry to here that! I know how it feels and can relate. My husband was once like that and would actually try to start a fight because I would carve out time for myself to workout...at home no less. He would say that I don't need to workout and why was I? But i explained to him that I feel great and better about myself when I workout. After awhile he got the message. I don't talk to my friends and relatives about losing weight, I rephrase it as a healthy lifestyle of getting stronger. I look at my parents and see that the way they live is not the way that I want to live ...and that keeps me going on.
My biggest peeve is when I say that I am not drinking...and all hell breaks loose...it's annoying....
STAY STRONG.....you know what you are doing is right for you and only you.

meh. I just ignore it. Yeah, they tell me to eat a sandwich and that I'm going to get sick if I don't eat more. All I hear is blah blah blah. I feel great. I'm under the care of a physician who says I'm perfectly healthy. I'm happy when I look in the mirror and I know I'll still be happy when I look in the mirror 15 pounds from now. I try to understand that they aren't trying to hurt me, they are just communicating their fears the best way they know how. I don't push back, it's not worth it. The problem is theirs, not mine.

I will tell you though.... I don't understand why I can so easily be chastised for being 'too thin' or 'sickly' (which I am not), but if I dared call someone 'heavy' or 'unhealthy' there would be a much different response.

John -- Way to go! and Go for it! (on the half marathon)

I'm very impressed.