I lost most of it, and gained most of it back....

How do you deal with this? How do you not allow it to take over? How do you STOP gaining?!?!?! I'm tired of people telling me "you did it before.. you can do it again, when you're ready.." When I'm ready? Do you think I want to be fat and hate myself??? Anyone in this boat or been in this boat? I need help.

You stop gaining by continuing to count calories and, if you gain weight, cut back. Alternately, you stop counting calories but check your weight daily, and if your trend gets more than a few pounds over your goal, you eat at a deficit until it's back at goal.

Basically, if MFP helped you lose the weight, it should help you keep it off, but only if the changes you made to lose were true lifestyle changes to your long-term diet (the food you eat regularly), and not a short-term "diet" that you abandon as soon as you reach goal.

I recommend reading John Walker's "The Hacker's Diet" (http://www.fourmilab.ch/hackdiet/e4/), especially the chapter "Perfect Weight Forever," though you need to read some of the earlier chapters to make sense of that one. Walker takes an engineering and management approach to weight loss and maintenance: instead of loathing himself for being unable to control his weight, he figured out a way to compensate for his skewed sense of what it meant to eat normally.

Good luck!

Everytime I deploy (I am US Military) I lose between 50-60 pounds in 3-4 months. I have done this the last 3 times (every other year) I always look great when I come home but then just pack it back on within a year. I am back at it again (down 20 in 1 month with 2 to go) and I am really going to try to not only keep it off but, lose even more when I get home. It is just so much easier here because I have alot of time, (no family) and the tempations of all the fast food isnt here.

You're certainly not alone in this experience. I lost 10lbs, then gained 7 of them back once i fell "off the MFP wagon" and stopped counting calories. It's so easy to fall back into old habits, and if you're not tracking everything, there's nothing holding you accountable or pointing out how many calories you've eaten. I fortunately got back ON the wagon and lost those 7lbs, but it wasn't easy!!! It was frustrating as hell

Your situation sounds just like mine. I get so upset with myself more than anyone with the mentality that I lost it before that I should be able to do it again. I feel just like you do. I don't wanna be overweight. I wanna be happy with myself and like what I see in the mirror. I weigh 40 pounds more now than I did two years ago. I remember feeling so good about myself but I just can't get back to it. Why??? I have no idea. I can't get into that mind frame again I guess??

You need to make a life change, and forget dieting. Everything that you eat that helped you gain it back needs to be looked at very carefully. "The I can have whatever I want in moderation", isn't always helpful.

it has to be a lifestyle change. I was doing awesome, had so much more energy, clothes were fitting, etc... then I had a few bad weeks and went back to eating way too much fast food, snacks, goodies and no exercise, and those few bad weeks turned into several bad months. I gained most of it back and felt like kicking myself.
So I did a mental kick in the can and am back at it. I'm not going to go my whole life without cake, ice cream, chocolate etc but moderation is the key! and exercise is a must.

you can do it!

Agree - This, lifestyle change

I completely understand the frustration of the losing vs gaining cycle. I have probably lost the same 10-15 lbs 2 or 3 times. While I know this may not seem like a lot to some people, but I started at 400 lbs and my goal is 150(ish). Those 10-15 lbs that I lost so many times would have put me just that much closer to my ultimate goal.

I am aware of what my mistakes are with my weight loss and weight gain. I lose some weight and then I become complacent or lazy and stop doing what it took me to lose the weight in the first place. I'm aware now (hopefully) that this is not about a diet, but a lifestyle change. I don't believe that one has to log in their food for a life time, but I do believe that one has to make decisions about what one decides to put into their body. That to me means that I need to always be aware of my eating triggers and counteract those with healthier choices. I need to be stay away from processed foods as much as possible along with white sugar and a high sodium foods. I lose when I'm responsible for cooking my food (because I know what I put in it) and when I meal plan. These may be things that are done for a lifetime because your health will be a lifetime responsibility.

Lastly, with exercise which for me is the difficult part because I don't enjoy it (those supposed endorphin hormones people always talk about do not exist for me lol), I hope to be able to 1) walk 3-5 times a day and 2) find activities that challenge me. As much as I hate exercise, I want to run a 5K. Why? Because I am trying to see if I can do it. It's a challenge to me and I want to be able to face that challenge and conquer it.

My words to you is "that was then, this is now". Every time I have fallen off and I am determined to get back on the wagon, I have to analyze and review my reasons for wanting to do so. I want to be healthy; I want to be happy with me; and I want to have children some day (my size makes that risky on so many levels). I may fall off or sometimes I see no change when I'm working hard, but I'm determined to keep trying. I didn't gain all this weight overnight so I can't expect it to come off overnight. Build up a strong support system around you and use them. Don't be afraid to talk to them when your feeling down or frustrated or whatever. I have 2 friends that I can do this with. They understand because they are going through the same thing I am with yoyo weight loss and trying to stay on program for an overall lifestyle change. I check in with them sometimes daily because I'm accountable to someone and they are accountable to me. We agreed to do this together.

I know that was alot and I don't know if it helps. But I believe you can do it partially because I'm an eternal optimist but also because if you can do it, then maybe so can I.

Good luck!

I may have to log for the rest of my life. I have decided to not DIET any more but to change my diet for ever. I have too often hit a weight and STOPPED DIETING and gained it back.

exactly this.

i need to be aware of what i put in my mouth every day. For that. i will have to log everyday... or at least to be consistent.
I have decided that i will never be on a diet and have forbidden food. no food is devil when you eat it in a reasonable portion.
Just need to make healthy choices and also have... cheat days once in a while.
3 months already and so far it works. and i almost find it fun.
Really easy to follow. No special food. Just normal food. Just Normal life.

Like others said, I also plan to probably count my calories for the rest of my life. I have to keep myself accountable. I also refuse to indulge in any self loathing anymore. That sabotages me possibly more than anything else.

Thank you very much. I really liked your reply. I dont know much about computers so I dont know how to friend. But I would. I am not doing the best at the moment and need all the support I can get...and accountability. I understand that I need to change my thinking. This is not another diet, but my way of living. I so want to believe that...and live like its truth. My lowest was 181...and now Im sitting at 215. I am very sad about that yet I still continue to gorge on candies, cake and ice cream. Funny thing is I dont even feel comforted when I indulge..just bored. haha but I have alot to do. I just dont want to do those things. (lazy) Im trying to go back to basics...again.

The whole secret is a support system that keeps you accountable no matter what happens. I lost over 100 lbs back in the 90s and kept it off for over a year, but when my Dad Died, I ended up putting the weight back on because I went back to eating like I did before I lost the weight. This time, I lost the weight and have coaches and trainers that keep me focused. The longer I can go, living this lifestyle, the more ingrained it becomes.

Get your coaches and friends that are going to keep you on track once you lose it, and dont stop checking your weight and size every week once you lose the weight.

I lost over 100 lbs. I gained over half it it back. For years I beat myself up for being so horrible. Granted, there were some awful extraneous factors that did it, but what I learned is that the reason I gained it back was mental. I lost the weight, but the mental demon was still there. I didn't do it FAST, but I kept dropping, but couldn't keep it. Now, if I plateau, I take it as a challenge to maintain my weight before I drop again. Drop 10, and hold it. Etc. I've kept it off and you know what, if it takes another year to get off the last 30-40 lbs, so be it. I will never have to take it back off again. You need a buddy here, reach out.

If you're constantly "dieting" instead of making lifestyle changes, it's likely the weight will come back when you reach your goal and start eating "normal" again. It's got to be a lifestyle change (I say this without fully knowing your situation).

The self-sabotage and loathing thing I get, but hopefully you can get to a place where you have high self esteem and respect yourself as the wonderful human being you are, capable of great things. Then when you notice a couple of pounds that sneak back on, you solve the problem before it spirals out of control again.