Mo' money, mo' problems...
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He earns twice as much as I do, but both wages go into one account, and the bills come out of that one account. We both have a card for it, each have an account with some dosh in it for buying each others birthday/Christmas presents. When I'm on maternity leave (and not earning anything) it'll be the same as it has been.
We merged everything when we moved in together. Believe that we earn our wages for 'Us', not for individuals. Our spending habits are identical though ie: minimal so it might have been harder should one be an impulse purchaser!0 -
do you work for irs?
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me, because my partner has anxiety and managing the money would make him die of a heart attack
also me, but it used to be him, and neither of our incomes are over the poverty line; despite full time hours for both and weekly overtime for me.
It doesn't really matter much to us who makes more. We live on very little and we share everything we have.0 -
We both work but he makes more. He's the one who takes care of the money 99% of the time. We talk about all our big purchases together and are respectful of what each other wants. He tells me everything that is going on with the account and I trust him completely.
He is in complete control of all the finances. You give him all your money and he tells you what he will spend it on.
You think this binds you together. He thinks live it up.
Get a grip. Is he your husband? Is there any promise of marriage? No??
Then you are on your own. Your money is your own. Your debts are your own. Your expenses are your own.0 -
We both work but he makes more. He's the one who takes care of the money 99% of the time. We talk about all our big purchases together and are respectful of what each other wants. He tells me everything that is going on with the account and I trust him completely.
He is in complete control of all the finances. You give him all your money and he tells you what he will spend it on.
You think this binds you together. He thinks live it up.
Get a grip. Is he your husband? Is there any promise of marriage? No??
Then you are on your own. Your money is your own. Your debts are your own. Your expenses are your own.
He is her husband.... This is the exact same arrangement I have with my husband except in reverse. It's funny that you find it so wrong in her case, but not in mine.0 -
this dynamic has changed for hubby and me over 30 years together. when living together he managed and made more, cause I wouldn't bother balancing the checkbook (no overages). Then had kid and stayed home 5 years so he worked and I managed money. After kid in school got job, he made more and I still managed. Then I got tech job and started making more than him (he didn't mind that extra change filling his wood shop/man cave). Gave up "traveling tech" job for lesser salary and now he manages - although we do have separate 401k's and DO NOT invest in the same things.0
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I make it. She spends it.
and occasionally I get to buy something too.0 -
We both work but he makes more. He's the one who takes care of the money 99% of the time. We talk about all our big purchases together and are respectful of what each other wants. He tells me everything that is going on with the account and I trust him completely.
He is in complete control of all the finances. You give him all your money and he tells you what he will spend it on.
You think this binds you together. He thinks live it up.
Get a grip. Is he your husband? Is there any promise of marriage? No??
Then you are on your own. Your money is your own. Your debts are your own. Your expenses are your own.
Did she say they were unmarried?0 -
We both work but he makes more. He's the one who takes care of the money 99% of the time. We talk about all our big purchases together and are respectful of what each other wants. He tells me everything that is going on with the account and I trust him completely.
He is in complete control of all the finances. You give him all your money and he tells you what he will spend it on.
You think this binds you together. He thinks live it up.
Get a grip. Is he your husband? Is there any promise of marriage? No??
Then you are on your own. Your money is your own. Your debts are your own. Your expenses are your own.
He is her husband.... This is the exact same arrangement I have with my husband except in reverse. It's funny that you find it so wrong in her case, but not in mine.
In my opinion, that arrangement is just fine. Not everyone enjoys dealing with finances. As long as both parties have a say and kept in the loop each month, I see no issues.0 -
Married for 15 yrs now. We decided early on who pays what bills, based on our income. We've never shared accounts or money, and it' never been an issue. We are on each others accounts "just in case" but respect that his accounts are his, and mine are mine.0
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Married, not shacked up. I make just about three times what he does. We pool the money -- he pays the mortgage, I pay the rest and what remains goes into savings, RRSP, TSFA, RESP (Canadians will know these). We have separate credit cards.0
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Gawd, I am going to sound so old-fashioned.
If you are shacked-up, then keep everything separate. Half the rent, half the bills, half the food, half the housework. Write it down if you need to. Separate bank accounts. Keep receipts.
When you are married, then divide the work and money however you like.
Before you are married, divide everything strictly by halves and keep the receipts.
^^^ This.
We both make more than enough, but he makes more. We have lived together for 3 ish years, but both pay for all of our own stuff and half of the bills. Retirement savings, fun spending, etc is all on our own. Nothing is commingled but the mortgage and a legal contract governs that. Marriage would be different.0 -
i wish i could find someone to "shack up" with that manages their money and can help me with the bills!!!! I have no money left to manage after bills are paid!!! :grumble:
Amen0 -
If you are married then everything is halved and I don't know what anyone is going on about.0
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I'm married, but he does the accounting and we both know what the bills are and how much dough is in every account. He's the bread-maker, but I keep house, raise the kids, and help him with his work when needed, so it's a fair exchange.0
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Husband physically pays the bills, but we make the financial decisions together. This works for me.
He makes 7x more than I do.0 -
If you are married then everything is halved and I don't know what anyone is going on about.
It doesn't have to be. I know plenty of married people who keep separate finances.0 -
Married, but we were 'shacked up' for years before that. He makes the lion's share of the money (at least triple what I make since I freelance and my money is sporadic), but I manage the budget because he has no head for numbers and looking ahead. Bills are basically cut down the middle as to whose name is attached (he has the phone bill, van payments and insurance and his credit card, I have my credit card and student loans plus my money tends to go to savings and a chunk of groceries-the rent is on both of us). We both discuss large purchases and retouch on our long term plans (18 months-five years down the road) regularly. Done good so far, lol. We've had a shared bank account for about seven years now, but I have my own account for my taxes and long term savings and we each have our own credit card in our own name.0
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We both make more than enough, but he makes more. We have lived together for 3 ish years, but both pay for all of our own stuff and half of the bills. Retirement savings, fun spending, etc is all on our own. Nothing is commingled but the mortgage and a legal contract governs that.
That's us...
But complicated by the fact that we own a house each... and I'm about to give up work to set up my own business.0 -
I make the majority of our money. My husband doesn't need to work but he does. All money is pooled and we make all purchasing decisions together. Neither of us is bothered by who makes more and I don't think there has ever been a negative/mean word said regarding money in any sense.
One thing that boggles my mind is when I see people in relationships keeping money separate in order to not fight about it. I've never understood this at all but if it works for you, it works.0 -
My wife makes more the moment, as I'm currently under employed. When both fully employed we make about the same, as we do that same thing.
Not too much to handle as most bills are directly withdrawn from our checking accounts. She handles the small stuff that actually requires a written check like the kids school fees.0 -
Gawd, I am going to sound so old-fashioned.
If you are shacked-up, then keep everything separate. Half the rent, half the bills, half the food, half the housework. Write it down if you need to. Separate bank accounts. Keep receipts.
When you are married, then divide the work and money however you like.
Before you are married, divide everything strictly by halves and keep the receipts.
Why does it matter so much though, if others choose to share everything when "shacking up"? By blaming it on being old fashioned, wouldn't you also be against living together unmarried?
I'm not married, although we like to think we pretty much are. Together for 8 years, lived together for 3.5 years. The only reason we're not married is because I'd rather put the money towards getting on the property ladder sooner rather than later. When we started living together, we made the decision to put both our income together and pay everything that way. His bills are ours, my bills are ours, food expenses are shared. Holiday/saving money shared. We're happy that way, and it makes life easier, especially if one earns significantly more than the other (which it doesn't right now anyway) The leftover (for individual luxuries/stuff we don't need) we split in half, and will probably continue that way even when married.0 -
We both work but he makes more. He's the one who takes care of the money 99% of the time. We talk about all our big purchases together and are respectful of what each other wants. He tells me everything that is going on with the account and I trust him completely.
He is in complete control of all the finances. You give him all your money and he tells you what he will spend it on.
You think this binds you together. He thinks live it up.
Get a grip. Is he your husband? Is there any promise of marriage? No??
Then you are on your own. Your money is your own. Your debts are your own. Your expenses are your own.
WTF are you talking about? Actually, that was a rhetorical question since its very clear that you have no idea what you're talking about.0 -
My hubby is the "primary" bread-winner. Nearly one-half of my check goes towards making sure that we have health insurance. I use the rest for things like credit card bills, cable/internet, electricity. He pays the rent, cell phone bill, life/car insurance and groceries. It works for us. I am hoping to eventually get a job in my field of training (medical coder) so I can start making some real money and put us in a more comfortable position.0
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I make more, but my fiancee handles all the shared expense calculation. Every couple weeks I get a post-it note on my monitor in my home office that lets me know what my half of the shared expenses are and we each cover our own things like auto insurance, etc. I log into my bank, transfer funds to the joint household account and she mails out checks/makes payments.
Works out pretty well.
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Hmmm well it goes back and forth a lot. I have money problems right now because there are no job availabilities with my work. (long story) whereas my fiance has hours right now (5hrs). So at the moment he is making more than i am. ON AVERAGE i've made more than him since we started living together when i had hours because he was in college most of the time. As for who 'handles' it, we handle our own 0
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I'm married to the most frugal woman on the planet. She hates shopping and hates spending money on herself.
I keep track of our finances.
I make more than she does.
We always joke that I put the roof over her head and she puts food on the table and keeps the lights on.0 -
My husband is a stay at home dad so I make 95% of the money (he does some side work). I work and when I get home I spend time with the kids. He takes care of the kids, does dr appts, cooks, cleans, shops, pay bills, banks etc. He gives me an allowance (a number we decided on that I can spend monthly on my credit card) that he pays off each month.0
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One thing that boggles my mind is when I see people in relationships keeping money separate in order to not fight about it. I've never understood this at all but if it works for you, it works.
We're one of those couples that keep it separate. For us, it's not so we can't fight about it....it's so we can splurge on ourselves and each other! A couple years ago he bought me ridiculously expensive diamond earrings that, if I'd known how much they cost, I would've vetoed! But I love them. I bought him a new road bike one year and it had to be ordered and partially pre-paid. If we'd shared our money, it couldn't have been a surprise.
We have different spending styles too. He charges everything and pays it in full each month. I throw nearly everything on my debit card because I don't like seeing a massive credit card bill every month. I only charge on-line purchases, travel expenses, etc...0 -
He makes 3x what I make. I manage the funds and make the day to day decisions (mortgage, bills, etc.) When it comes to anything over $200 we tend to discuss but not always. Usually I find out how much he spends when I look at our bank balances every other day and adjust everything accordingly. Not perfect, but seems to work for us the past 15 years.0
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