Dating Question

24

Replies

  • ChancyW
    ChancyW Posts: 437 Member
    I'm not the type to approach a guy and be direct.
  • silencioesoro
    silencioesoro Posts: 318 Member
    It's a mixed bag with me, it all depends on who I liked at the time. With the current boyfriend, I made the first move - wasn't the right time, he made the move, wasn't the right time... back and forth over the years until finally, he made the final move and claimed me. Then he literally moved all the way over here.

    Sometimes being obvious is a great thing, but be careful about how obvious. Also, don't just put the ball solely in his court. Like I said, it's a mixed bag.
  • SwitzEngine
    SwitzEngine Posts: 3,418 Member
    I would like if a women would approach me. But sadly it never happens. Not even here...and it would be only a request. Maybe it's me... :-(
  • JcMey3r
    JcMey3r Posts: 431 Member
    Most guys would like to approach but a lot of guys who aren't too confident and don't want to make a fool of themselves will probably hesitate to initialize contact. The women should give a clear sign that they're interested so that the guy can make the move.

    But to answer the question I would say either party should be comfortable to make a move. If women like to chased just dont make the guy chase you so long that he just gives up.
  • jackiecamarena
    jackiecamarena Posts: 290 Member
    The other dating thread got me thinking. Guys - do you like it when women approach you or do you like to be the ones to approach them? Ladies - do you feel comfortable approaching guys or do you think they should pursue you?

    I have no problem approaching men I am interested in. I asked out my boyfriend almost four years ago now. I go after what I want. :wink:
  • Madame_Goldbricker
    Madame_Goldbricker Posts: 1,625 Member
    I've approached a bloke in a bar before & we were together for 7yrs. However, I'm crap at picking up signals. Last time a bloke came up to me at a bar I moved out the way. I assumed he'd come across to order a drink not chat me up - Did think sheesh how much room do you want like? :grumble:
  • melb_alex
    melb_alex Posts: 1,154 Member
    Be obvious. Obvious to a guy is different than women believe. We're dumb as posts, so if you like us...best make it known. You don't have to ask him out, but you likely do have to go much further than you think in indicating your interest.

    Works both ways ;) sometimes girls just don't get it either muhahaha

    I prefer the male to approach me; chivalry ;)
  • FredSetToGetFit
    FredSetToGetFit Posts: 286 Member
    I think, everybody tends to over complicate almost everything. If you want something, ask for it. I liked being approached by women, but also had no problem being the one who approaches when I were still dating. If rejected, so what? It really is not important. What is important is that you had the courage to put yourself out there.
  • Inkratlet
    Inkratlet Posts: 613 Member
    I don't like meeting people in bars.

    Maybe it's different in the US but in the UK, they are usually in various states of drunkenness and I haven't got a lot of interest in talking to someones alcohol-fuelled ego. All you have to go on when you see someone you 'like' in a bar is physical attraction. Besides, they are all too young nowadays. Where do the early-mid thirties hang out?? I actually like the internet as you can weed out the time wasters and little boys with an older woman fetish and get down to the stuff that really matters. It still takes forever to find the right one though...

    Then again, I'll probably be single forever. Too picky!
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
    When I have dutch courage, I will give it a go to approach a guy.

    Both times, I've been rejected.

    So, yes, I'd rather a guy approach me. Twice being rejected as a female hurts (though I do now understand how it hurts for guys too.)

    Just curious...at some point you really thought it didn't?
  • Follow_me
    Follow_me Posts: 6,120 Member
    I would like if a women would approach me. But sadly it never happens. Not even here...and it would be only a request. Maybe it's me... :-(


    THIS ^^^
  • sakuragreenlily
    sakuragreenlily Posts: 334 Member
    I feel like the only guys that have ever asked me out are in the categories of: homeless, drunk, and/or has terrible hygiene. So basically I've come to feel comfortable doing the asking out - if I didn't, I'd end up that crazy dog lady that offers bread crusts to strangers.

    I don't know why it makes me feel good to know that the homeless drunks with bad hygiene in your area still have enough confidence to be asking people out. Kinda heart warming actually.
  • simplycorey
    simplycorey Posts: 721 Member
    i meet people (friends of friends; strangers) when i'm out (private parties, public places) and go from there (like, i am not dating online). it *always* starts organically through conversation, so it's hard to tell how things start -- i am usually gregarious when in a social setting (though am temperamentally introverted) & am attracted to talkative people. if there's a vibe, i see where it goes.

    *wait, i for sure do and have initiated many of these conversations.

    i am horrified when someone just randomly, out of nowhere, just decides he likes the looks of me from afar and makes "an approach". ew ew ew.


    I'm very similar. I photograph weddings on the weekends and I'm very social when I'm working but I am very much an introvert. I meet a lot of people at weddings but the guys that flirt with me the most are in their 20's. I do look a little younger than I am but it's still super frustrating. I also don't like random "approaches" and would rather start off with a conversation instead of a "move".


    I don't like meeting people in bars.

    I don't either - mostly because I am not a big drinker and don't really want to be with a big drinker. Every now and then is fine but it's just not my thing. So, I have no idea where to meet people. I love my church but it's either married couples or college kids. I have a demanding schedule with work and kids so I don't get out much and I don't really want to waste time or money on online dating when you have to weed through so many crazies. I think I am just going to be a crazy goat lady instead (cats are so overdone). I seriously may try a meet up group in my area or something eventually, just to get out of the house and do something for me. I'm not in any hurry though. lol
  • Inkratlet
    Inkratlet Posts: 613 Member
    Meetup groups are good. I go to one regularly and have met some really nice people. Lots of women a similar age to me that I have formed friendships with, BUT from a dating perspective? Nope. All the men are very unsuitable. VERY...

    Anyway, I didn't join the meetup to date but to make friends so from that perspective it's been perfect.
  • Yiazach
    Yiazach Posts: 209 Member
    Well in your case corey it could be a bit intimidating for a guy if you were to approach him cause you ve got quite the looks on you. After all what is left to us men in this world if you take that away from us!?HUH?!:) As for the stranger approaching i can get why most girls hate it, most guys are creepy and/or and jackassy. On the other hand you gals shouldnt always be in rejection mode, it is not fair to us. Just give the signs (you know them and you know how to give them) to the guys that you like!
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
    Why didn't I see this thread last night! :laugh:

    I am interested in these answers myself. I get attention and men will look and stare and double take...and then nothing. I think "Okkk!" I know some may be in a relationship, married, etc. But I am old-fashioned as well. It seems like more and more men are wanting the women to do the work. Maybe shy or maybe women are more bold these days? I'm not sure.

    I work in an eye doctors office as a technician, billing, yada yada.....and will do some sales with glasses and contact lenses. Some patients flirt...and seem interested. Of course it's office policy to not date patients!! :laugh:
  • ekz13
    ekz13 Posts: 725 Member
    I'd rather ***** slap a rabid moose that have to go through the dating thing again at this point.
  • bakemma
    bakemma Posts: 161 Member
    I just want to know, how OBVIOUS do you have to be for a guy to know you are interested?
    I try to show a dude I'm interested but he'll seem like he is not interested so I just drop it, and months later he'll say something along the lines of, " I've always liked you..." Like DUDE I tried to show you how much I liked you before, why are you telling me this now!!!
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,780 Member
    my thinking is, regardless of gender, you shouldn't lose an opportunity just because you are waiting for someone else to make a move.
  • TR0berts
    TR0berts Posts: 7,739 Member
    My wife asked me out first.

    Seems to have worked out OK for the last 17+ years.

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