can't get a date

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  • ereck44
    ereck44 Posts: 1,170 Member
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    I've been single for 8 years so I feel ya sister.... and I absolutely HATE the "stop looking and you might find it" line. I stopped for 3 years... that didn't do any good, so I started trying to date again and THAT hasn't done any good.

    If you take the "dog" out of your screenname you could probably get plenty of hits on MFP :wink:

    too funny!
  • loselbs78
    loselbs78 Posts: 44
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    Take your time, don't rush things with anyone, being single is much better than being with the wrong someone. I was with the wrong women for a couple of years, that relationship almost got me killed.
  • gerard54
    gerard54 Posts: 1,107 Member
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    I feel ya...
  • Marsidote
    Marsidote Posts: 100 Member
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    [/quote]

    If you take the "dog" out of your screenname you could probably get plenty of hits on MFP :wink:
    [/quote]

    LOL! I joined a few different social sports clubs. Kickball, softball, even skeeball! Met some cool people along the way
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
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    Well nothing CRAZY - he needs to be between the ages of 37 and 53 (I'm 46) - at least as tall as I am (5 foot 5), have a job, not live with his parents...and I need to feel a connection - both physically and mentally. I don't think I'm asking for too much.

    The problem you have, on a pragmatic level, is a very competitive market with a limited supply.

    An emotionally stable, reasonably successful and in shape man in that age range would either have been snapped up already or will have a large selection of women to choose from. To be frank I think you're more likely to find Lord Lucan riding a unicorn...

    So, you either need to revise your expectations, get everything you can going for you and put in a lot of effort, hope you get lucky or start praying.
  • Beastmaster50
    Beastmaster50 Posts: 505 Member
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    You say you are picky and won't settle and you wonder why? This is not meant mean as its something I had to do myself. Fix the person in the mirror. Its your attitude and personality that is keeping you single. No one is "all that". Its not about settling, its about getting over that ego. I was the same way and once I figured that out, my life improved 100%.
  • sunglasses_and_ocean_waves
    sunglasses_and_ocean_waves Posts: 2,757 Member
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    Well nothing CRAZY - he needs to be between the ages of 37 and 53 (I'm 46) -

    Any dude between your age range of 37-53 is in his prime value part of life, they'll be going for chicks anywhere from 25-40. Maybe aim at a higher age

    I've heard this. Look, you can't compete with 20 year olds, so don't even think about trying to. It sounds cliche, but be the best you. I have a friend going thru this, and she's seriously just out to get laid now. That's better anyway.
  • latenitelucy
    latenitelucy Posts: 1,314 Member
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    If you take the "dog" out of your screenname you could probably get plenty of hits on MFP :wink:
    [/quote]

    LOL! I joined a few different social sports clubs. Kickball, softball, even skeeball! Met some cool people along the way
    [/quote]

    Skeeball club???? Must google this in my area!
  • la8ydi
    la8ydi Posts: 294 Member
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    This is the OP. Thank you to those of you who offered viable suggestions. I must say I am disheartened by all of the hurtful, disrespectful, very insulting posts...and there were many. To those, I'm not even going to respond...but if your intention was to hurt me, you were successful.

    Just so you know, I will not be reading any more posts on this thread. I don't need to be insulted anymore. It doesn't help me in my journey going forward. I already have enough negative images and voices in my head.

    Again, thank you to those of you who were sincerely offering help and suggestions. I guess I will just take my big ego and my old lady self and be alone in this fight.
    ~D
  • zornig
    zornig Posts: 336 Member
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    I am right there with you--online dating is, for the most part, no fun! I *strongly* recommend that you google the name "Evan Marc Katz," and then take as much of his advice to heart as you can. After reading one of his books, I rewrote my online dating profile and took some new pictures (helped that I'd dropped some weight at that point and was feeling good about myself). When I reposted my profile, I was getting significantly better messages--from men I found attractive, who could write whole sentences. I've only been at it for 3 months, have been on 9 first dates, and only 2 second dates, so it's not like I have a straight-up success story. But it's definitely been a more positive experience than in the past.

    That being said, I think you need to use many tactics at once: online dating, meetups, Church groups, volunteering, social events in your town/city. Not all of us find relationships easily, so that just means we have to work a bit harder at it. But as they like to say, there's a lid for every pot. At least I hope there is...
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    This is the OP. Thank you to those of you who offered viable suggestions. I must say I am disheartened by all of the hurtful, disrespectful, very insulting posts...and there were many. To those, I'm not even going to respond...but if your intention was to hurt me, you were successful.

    Just so you know, I will not be reading any more posts on this thread. I don't need to be insulted anymore. It doesn't help me in my journey going forward. I already have enough negative images and voices in my head.

    Again, thank you to those of you who were sincerely offering help and suggestions. I guess I will just take my big ego and my old lady self and be alone in this fight.
    ~D

    What the?
    Am I reading a different thread then you are?

    I suspect that your bizarre and over reaction here if translated into real life perhaps would be a good place to think about working on.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,841 Member
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    And PLEASE don't say "stop looking and it will happen."

    Okay. How about this..."It will happen if you stop looking."

    Seriously though, hard for me to really comment since I have been married for, well, like, ever and don't even remember what it is like to date. I can imagine it is frustrating to find someone to commit to and such.

    But really, my first thought would be that maybe....MAYBE...you are sending out the wrong vibe. Maybe by actively looking it seems too aggressive for guys. I dunno cuz I don't know ya.

    My only advice which I followed years back was, stay active in groups for things you like. So church, sports, hobbies, etc. DON'T actively date, but find guys to hang out with in the group' social circles and see what might spark up.

    All the best.
  • Ed98043
    Ed98043 Posts: 1,333 Member
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    This is the OP. Thank you to those of you who offered viable suggestions. I must say I am disheartened by all of the hurtful, disrespectful, very insulting posts...and there were many. To those, I'm not even going to respond...but if your intention was to hurt me, you were successful.

    Just so you know, I will not be reading any more posts on this thread. I don't need to be insulted anymore. It doesn't help me in my journey going forward. I already have enough negative images and voices in my head.

    Again, thank you to those of you who were sincerely offering help and suggestions. I guess I will just take my big ego and my old lady self and be alone in this fight.
    ~D

    What the?
    Am I reading a different thread then you are?

    I suspect that your bizarre and over reaction here if translated into real life perhaps would be a good place to think about working on.

    I thought the same thing! I even re-read the whole thread to look for the insults, and didn't find any. All I can guess is that she feels insulted by those who suggested that she expand her age range upward (I disagree, personally) and that she should do her best to make sure she looks as good as possible and puts forth the most flattering photos, but that's just common sense. *shrug*

    p.s. I also hate the "stop looking and it will happen" advice. I haven't been looking for 4 years and guess what that got me? No relationships for 4 years. That saying is just meaningless pap that people repeat when they have nothing thoughtful or original to offer, IMO.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    GTL

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