Would you work with your SO?

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  • shellfly
    shellfly Posts: 186
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    I would recommend against it if you're in the same department or in departments that strongly interrelate. Years ago, my husband and I worked for the same company. We were in the same department and at the same level (so neither of us reported to the other), but there were definite conflicts, and it's almost impossible to keep the personal separated from the professional. Also, it was a lot easier for work to carry over into our personal lives and dominate our conversations, since we were both in the middle of the same issues. We've been much happier since I left the company; I can be completely supportive of him now, whereas before it could be tough if I didn't agree with his position, and he tends to dwell on work issues less and puts them aside once he's home.
  • suziepoo1984
    suziepoo1984 Posts: 915 Member
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    I dont know how it would be to start working together after you are a couple, but me and hubby met at work. We became great friends first and couple later. I had the best time with him at work. We met for breakfast, lunch, evenings, left office together..we spend less time with each other now that we dont work in the same office and talk lesser :tongue:

    This is my side of the story, hubby might have a totally different angle for all you know :laugh:

    Good luck with whatever choice you make, but i guess if its a good career choice for him, i think you should go for it. But thats just me :smile:

    I also agree with the poster above. It would be a good choice if you are nt going to report to each other or even work on same projects. That can lead to a lot of conflicts!
  • IhScoutII
    IhScoutII Posts: 162 Member
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    I worked with my wife for a while, but in to totally different departments. It was nice seeing each other occasionally through out the day.
  • srogers89
    srogers89 Posts: 190 Member
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    Go for it!

    It is a great opportunity for him, and if you are moving in together I would be looking at it as a great opportunity for your joint future. It's not like he will be by your side everyday. Just make sure you let him have his 'work friends' and 'work space' and you have yours. Just because you are working for the same company and a couple doesn't mean you need to share everything else. When I think about it I really enjoy my personal space and taking a breather from home at the office, as long as ou keep that space I think it will be fine. I think I could work with SO, although I would most likely drive him bat**** crazy :|

    P.S Congrats on moving in together too, such an awesome time! Enjoy every moment :)
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
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    Not by choice, but if the circumstances were just right, he could show up if I called 911...:tongue:
  • breeZrizi
    breeZrizi Posts: 213 Member
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    NO
    love him to death but if im around him 24/7 especially in a business environment we would probably kill each other
  • joyincincy
    joyincincy Posts: 228 Member
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    Hummm, well my husband & I are going into business together but we are equals, so neither of us would be "cracking the whip." I don't know the dynamics of your relationship, but I don't think that would work in ours. When discussing this, take into account that your boss probably does not care about how this could affect your marriage, only the bottom line, so do not let her/his words sway either of you.
  • dizzysmile
    dizzysmile Posts: 71 Member
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    Obviously I don't know you or your relationship, but here's my current situation:

    I'm working with my fiancé, who I've also lived with for over 5 years now. Sort of similarly to your potential situation, I'm working in the office and his office is in a different part of the building (you'd have to go outside, up a flight of stairs and in another door to get to his office from mine). We eat lunch together, I have to call him once in a while to ask a question, and he comes into our office to speak to other people, so there's definite contact, but it's not constant. I'm basically doing assistant/reception work and he's IT, so we're not really actually doing WORK together.

    I'm in a temporary position and it's only been a week, but I can't imagine this turning "bad." After years of having conflicting schedules, it's been very nice. We love spending the entire weekend together, not feeling a need to separate, so maybe our enjoyment of just being together all the time helps too.
  • Ely82010
    Ely82010 Posts: 1,998 Member
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    My husband was my boss when we started dating. We have been married for over 47 years. I am now the boss :bigsmile:
  • amiller7x7
    amiller7x7 Posts: 202 Member
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    Just food for thought. My wife & I met at work where I was her Lead Engineer. Our company actually prohibited spouses from having direct supervision on the other but at the time we weren't married but we felt it prudent not to challenge the anyone's sensibilities. We actually liked working together but the potential of interest issue was always something I worried about from the point of view of the other employees (and my bosses) as we had decided not to be secretive about our relationship. Shortly thereafter she moved to another group farther from me in the organization but still in the same parent organization (based on the kind of work we did there was only one major department), and I went into management and we got married, etc. I had to recuse myself from things like salaries, retention, etc as these can present the appearance of a conflict of interest When our son was born, she elected to not return to work which worked out well for us as a family. Her time working in the organization however did create a common understanding between us of the issues of schedules and work commitments which I think helped us both deal with the inevitable family/work balance issues. On balance, I would counsel that the risks are pretty high for the issues of fairness coming up - it is not so much that you are fair, but are you perceived by others as being fair. I would think it might work short-term if care was placed in the area of how personnel issues (including "cracking the whip") are handled - i.e. if you crack the whip on one person, how will you show others that you apply that action in an even-handed way to others including your SO? Long-term, I think the path forward could be quite difficult and we are glad that we did not have to deal with those issues over many years.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    It would be no problem with me and my husband. We are very respectful of one another and know what buttons not to push, but it's not for everyone. I could see it maybe being an issue if one was "in charge" of the other and the SO's were both strong-willed personalities.

    Both my husband and I work from home, so we are together almost 24/7. It's awesome. So I guess the old question of whether or not you'll be able to stand being around your spouse all the time after retirement has been answered for us!
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
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    Been there, done that. NEVER again.
  • gracielynn1011
    gracielynn1011 Posts: 726 Member
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    I have worked with my dh for 5 yrs now. We are partners in managing a business, but in day to day operations, he is the boss. Neither of us has a problem with it, if you are committed, you learn how to make it work.

    A job opportunity came open for me recently with a fairly large company here, and we get along so well at work, we decided to turn down the job. Neither of us wanted to lose that much valuable time with each other.
  • princessofredrock
    princessofredrock Posts: 382 Member
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    I work with my hubby! Technically he is the boss but we all know who really is in charge! lol Plus we work so much it is the only time I get to dress up!

    I do my job, and he does his! 22 yrs together and still strong! I think it all has to do with the couple! For us it does not matter what we do as long as we do it together!

    It always takes 2 in a relationship, if you work well together at home then work work should be the same!

    Good luck!
  • 2stepscloser
    2stepscloser Posts: 2,900 Member
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    My husband and I work in the same building but for two different companies. We see each other occasionally for lunch but make a point not to hang out. We don't drive to work together either. For us it's fine.
  • sillygoosie
    sillygoosie Posts: 1,109 Member
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    Thanks for all the input! We will be discussing this at length for a while. Now that the offer is a reality, he sounds like he may be having second thoughts. :smile:
  • opalescence
    opalescence Posts: 413 Member
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    I worked with my husband at my last job for about 8 yrs (I've since moved on to a different job while he still works there) and while it was not always the easiest thing to do we did work well together.

    We also had a business that we tried to run together when I was 18 and he as 20, it was not successful but not because we couldn't work together :) We actually learned a lot about one another’s work ethics and we are both very hard workers and very determined.

    I will say this and it’s the only negative thing I really have, is that anytime we were in an argument at home that attitude usually followed him to work. I asked him one time that he needed to check his emotions at the door and while at work to treat me like a professional. I had to remind him that if I were some other random office girl that he would not be disrespecting them so he should not disrespect me while I am trying to work and bring home the bacon, same as him. I had to show him respect and he should do the same with me.

    If you are a sensitive type or tend to have bad arguments at home that could trickle into your work environment, you may want to think real hard about this decision, but that doesn’t mean it would never work.

    Good luck to you and hope everything works out. :flowerforyou:

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