Dating Question

13

Replies

  • Patti1023
    Patti1023 Posts: 78 Member
    I just want to know, how OBVIOUS do you have to be for a guy to know you are interested?
    I try to show a dude I'm interested but he'll seem like he is not interested so I just drop it, and months later he'll say something along the lines of, " I've always liked you..." Like DUDE I tried to show you how much I liked you before, why are you telling me this now!!!

    That's a good question - you can be obvious, but to some men you might come across like you're chasing the guy. It's impossible to know which ones are "dumb as a post" and you have to be over the top obvious for them to get it, vs the ones who can tell you're interested but they aren't interested in you. Quite the dilemma...
  • silver_arrow3
    silver_arrow3 Posts: 1,373 Member
    I found that being old fashioned and letting guys come to me got me absolutely nowhere. If I want a date, I have to go get it. I'm okay with that though. I've gone out of my comfort zone on a few occasions (mostly with application of social lubricant), but I haven't been disappointed. I know rejection comes with the territory, but if I'm shy and timid and I miss out on a great guy because I'm too scared, it's my own damn fault.
  • The_Enginerd
    The_Enginerd Posts: 3,982 Member
    Totally okay and complimented if I get approached. Screw the games.
  • RivenV
    RivenV Posts: 1,667 Member
    I love the feeling of being pursued. Not fleeing through the trees like I'm being hunted or anything, but to know that there's an interest from another person and they're rearranging their schedule/day to pay attention to me makes me feel special and wanted. Duh.

    That sounds much more conceited and self-centered than it did in my head.

    Anyway, I've only made the "first move" on one guy, and even then, it was only because he was friend-zoning me. Friend-zoning me hard. I'd tried the typical girl thing--flirt and hope he notices and asks me out. We had one class in common (in college), but we had some mutual friends so we would occasionally see each other socially. Finally, one night, after partaking in some liquid courage at a house party, we were talking off by our twosies and I just kissed him. He was quite surprised. He knew I had a thing for him, but that was pretty out of character for me. That was five years ago.

    We've been married for two years.

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  • LarryDUk
    LarryDUk Posts: 279 Member
    I'm not that smart and really bad at picking up signals. I generally realise that a girl likes me when she starts to get undressed.
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,291 Member
    I've been approached and I've approached, the first with good success....and the other with nowhere near as good success....I think the reason some people don't get it is because for one reason or another it just wasn't mean to happen. You're probably saving yourself from someone who probably wasn't going to make the cut anyway. That being said, I'm pretty bad at catching the signals for myself, yet really good at seeing it for others as I'm a people watcher \m/
  • TR0berts
    TR0berts Posts: 7,739 Member
    That being said, I'm pretty bad at catching the signals for myself, yet really good at seeing it for others as I'm a people watcher \m/


    True. I'm the same way. I think that once we're emotionally involved in the situation, it gets difficult to differentiate what we're seeing and what we want to see.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
    I just want to know, how OBVIOUS do you have to be for a guy to know you are interested?
    I try to show a dude I'm interested but he'll seem like he is not interested so I just drop it, and months later he'll say something along the lines of, " I've always liked you..." Like DUDE I tried to show you how much I liked you before, why are you telling me this now!!!

    What did you do...it may not be as obvious as you think.
  • heylookitsval
    heylookitsval Posts: 1,141 Member
    I don't remember the question, but I like when dudes approach me...it makes me feel less desperate.
  • Carlyannabelle
    Carlyannabelle Posts: 621 Member
    I don't generally approach men, but I have on occasion. I think I am kind of old fashioned when it comes to that and like being pursued. Although, if I am interested, I will flash a smile or hold a gaze in the hopes they will approach me. Sometimes I am a bit naive when it comes to men flirting with me as well, lol. What may be obvious to others, is not so much to someone else.
  • bakemma
    bakemma Posts: 161 Member
    I just want to know, how OBVIOUS do you have to be for a guy to know you are interested?
    I try to show a dude I'm interested but he'll seem like he is not interested so I just drop it, and months later he'll say something along the lines of, " I've always liked you..." Like DUDE I tried to show you how much I liked you before, why are you telling me this now!!!

    What did you do...it may not be as obvious as you think.

    I guess I think it's obvious. Smile, flirt, ask about his life, laugh at his jokes, compliment him...etc. Just everything in genera.
  • RivenV
    RivenV Posts: 1,667 Member
    I just want to know, how OBVIOUS do you have to be for a guy to know you are interested?
    I try to show a dude I'm interested but he'll seem like he is not interested so I just drop it, and months later he'll say something along the lines of, " I've always liked you..." Like DUDE I tried to show you how much I liked you before, why are you telling me this now!!!

    What did you do...it may not be as obvious as you think.

    I guess I think it's obvious. Smile, flirt, ask about his life, laugh at his jokes, compliment him...etc. Just everything in genera.

    Sounds to me like you're just being nice and making conversation. I do this with uh... everyone, just about.
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,472 Member
    HUH?
    DUH?
    A good man wants a woman who will jump him , now.
  • bakemma
    bakemma Posts: 161 Member

    Sounds to me like you're just being nice and making conversation. I do this with uh... everyone, just about.

    Yeah me too, but I go out of my way with him because we don't live close to each other. I'll just continue to work on my skills. lol
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member

    Sounds to me like you're just being nice and making conversation. I do this with uh... everyone, just about.

    Yeah me too, but I go out of my way with him because we don't live close to each other. I'll just continue to work on my skills. lol

    The main point is that it is probably no where near as obvious as you were certain it was.
  • simplycorey
    simplycorey Posts: 721 Member
    I get attention and men will look and stare and double take...and then nothing. I think "Okkk!" I know some may be in a relationship, married, etc. But I am old-fashioned as well. It seems like more and more men are wanting the women to do the work. Maybe shy or maybe women are more bold these days? I'm not sure.

    I get this too and it's so frustrating! Or they'll actually flirt with me all night at the weddings I photograph and then no phone number or anything at the end of the night. Sometimes that's just what I need though ... the feeling of a date without any kind of commitment. lol

    I love the feeling of being pursued. Not fleeing through the trees like I'm being hunted or anything, but to know that there's an interest from another person and they're rearranging their schedule/day to pay attention to me makes me feel special and wanted. Duh.

    That sounds much more conceited and self-centered than it did in my head.

    :laugh: Then I'll be conceited and self-centered with you because I like that too. ;) Congrats on your marriage - I think that's awesome. I am bad about staying in my comfort zone.

    I think the reason some people don't get it is because for one reason or another it just wasn't mean to happen. You're probably saving yourself from someone who probably wasn't going to make the cut anyway. That being said, I'm pretty bad at catching the signals for myself, yet really good at seeing it for others as I'm a people watcher \m/

    I'm bad at catching signals for myself too. Unless it's completely obvious ... and then sometimes I just get creeped out. :indifferent:
  • bakemma
    bakemma Posts: 161 Member

    Sounds to me like you're just being nice and making conversation. I do this with uh... everyone, just about.

    Yeah me too, but I go out of my way with him because we don't live close to each other. I'll just continue to work on my skills. lol

    The main point is that it is probably no where near as obvious as you were certain it was.

    Okay, so what would YOU do to be more obvious? ( if you were a girl. lol )
  • RivenV
    RivenV Posts: 1,667 Member

    Sounds to me like you're just being nice and making conversation. I do this with uh... everyone, just about.

    Yeah me too, but I go out of my way with him because we don't live close to each other. I'll just continue to work on my skills. lol

    The main point is that it is probably no where near as obvious as you were certain it was.

    Okay, so what would YOU do to be more obvious? ( if you were a girl. lol )

    I pushed him against a wall and kissed him. You can risk being rejected outright, or you can continue to be subtle and risk being rejected after you've invested all kinds of time and energy in him. And that latter option is provided that he ever even notices.
  • bakemma
    bakemma Posts: 161 Member


    I pushed him against a wall and kissed him. You can risk being rejected outright, or you can continue to be subtle and risk being rejected after you've invested all kinds of time and energy in him. And that latter option is provided that he ever even notices.

    Impressive! ;)

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