How do you stop "self-sabotaging" weight loss?
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If there is a mental block, I would recommend beating that block rather than ignoring it, or it may raise its ugly head again and again.
I kept gaining and losing the same weight and someone recommended Fat is a Feminist Issue. The title had always put me off as I thought it would be full of excuses to be fat, but instead it looks into reasons carrying extra weight can be more comfortable than losing it. For example, for some women, feeling safe from male attention is a reason they gain. For example, a drop-dead gorgeous friend of mine yoyo diets and part of this may be tied up in the fact that when she's thinner she gets hit on considerably more and sometimes makes decisions she regrets later. Just carrying a little more weight protects her from this.
I only skim-read FIFI, but it really helped. It's very cheap on Amazon, but there must be modern equivalents too.0 -
How do you push past the mental barrier that tells you that you "can't?"
The negative voice isn't you... it's just echoes from the past.. other people's voices. When it rears its ugly head tell it 'stfu' and then repeat to yourself: 'Come what may I'm going to do this'.0 -
I think my past regains or failures to do as well as I could boiled down to me not believing I deserved it.
A lack of self esteem basically.
That and not tracking, just eating ridiculously low and over exercising.
I think health starts in the mind, if you can get this sorted it makes life easier.
Yeh, calories in/out and all that but that means squat if you are still unsure of who you are and where and what kind of person you want to be.0 -
Thank you. Last question: How do you push past the mental barrier that tells you that you "can't?" I know that it seems like a simple concept, but I keep getting held back because I can't break through mentally..
Personally I have found some motivation on the e webby topdesk thing give this channely a peep:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8eAqNKTMJs&feature=c4-overview&list=UU0ASolYU_Yh3yShLFQC0stg 0 -
I've been losing weight for the past year. I'm currently at 196. I started at 269 last year so I'm super proud of my progress. Sadly, I've been stuck in the 190s since January. I was totally excited when I got to 199 but I never exactly..got out of it. The lowest I got was 191 and then I shot back up to 207 the down again. I have a habit of "Self-sabotage." By that I mean, when I see myself getting closer to a goal, I over-indulge (I guess due to new found confidence) and gain back what I lost and then some. It's not really a conscious thing, it just kind of happens in the moment then I feel guilty of it and freak out about how it will affect my weight loss. Also, when I'm doing cardio (never happens when I'm lifting), the little voice telling you to quit is always there. I never know how to push past my limits and I think that is also a form of "self-sabotage." Why don't I want to see myself succeed? I acknowledge that I do this, but how can I deal with or stop this behavior? From people who have been in my shoes, what do you do?
Go window shopping for clothes.
I kid you not. I know the space you're in... you sort of can't care. You want to care, you know you should care.. but you don't.
You know you're being your own worst enemy but you can't seem to wake out of the daze enough to pull finger. Does that sound about right?
Just go window shopping for clothes this weekend, try them all on, see what size you are... there is absolutely nothing like it for waking you up to the size and shape you are, showing you why you are doing this after all.
And if you feel you are looking how you want to look in clothes, buy them.
the thrill they give you can get you over the hump and make you feel positive again. Remember: your diet is your journey. Your size is your choice. If you need a staging post at 180lb or something, do it. But maybe try to operate on maintenance when you are not dieting so that you don't actually go backwards. 
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How do you push past the mental barrier that tells you that you "can't?"
The negative voice isn't you... it's just echoes from the past.. other people's voices. When it rears its ugly head tell it 'stfu' and then repeat to yourself: 'Come what may I'm going to do this'.
I would take view there is no past, no future, just right now ... You are not the same person you were and you can choose to be whatever the kind of person you can imagine right now. Just by making good choices one after the other.0 -
Over a year ago, I was 6lbs away from my goal weight....today I am 14lbs away.
I have no idea why I self sabotage & I would be very interested to find out more about it.
I am scared of being at my goal weight!!! Why?? What would I do then? What would I have to strive for, what would I have to moan about??!! Maintaining is always harder than losing, blah blah blah, so many excuses....I used to have so many "when Im at this weight I will XYZ" stuff going on, that it would daunt me too much.
Of course, when Im at my goal weight, I can always set myself a new goal, or decide then to do something Ive never done before, be less food focussed, be more excercise focussed, or whatever. Maybe just enjoy being there for a while!!0 -
My last 2lbs are really difficult. The more I go on the scale, the more I see little rises every other day so I have decided to do what has been working so far and ditch that scale for a month!!
Carry on logging, carry on doing what got you this far and it WILL happen. Dont let the scale deter you. Have you been measuring too?0 -
For me weight loss has always been a constant battle. I started MPF again ! last week and I am happy I have lost weight in my first week, however I know its all about a lifestyle change or my weight will continue just to yo yo from year to year. This time I am taking one day at a time and that way I am changing my lifestyle one day at a time. Its not easy it can be a battle but we can do it. Good Luck !! Keep logging !!0
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God I didn't expect this much feedback. Thank you everyone. As for setting incremental goals, I'm not gonna strive for a size/weight right now. I am gonna try a fitness goal. I think I'm gonna strive to do 30-60 minutes of cardio a day because I always bail on cardio because I'm "too tired" and want to quit when I know I can go so much harder. I used to run a lot until I started lifting weights. I want to start running again. I'm gonna try to run a mile straight, even if it is a slow pace. I just have to know that what I'm doing will work. Thanks so much.0
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Stop believing that weight loss is an emotional endeavor.
Love this!0 -
I wouldn't call what I've been doing self-sabotaging, but I'm not letting myself buy into my success yet. I won't let myself throw out the clothes that are too big "just in case" I fall off the wagon. I won't let myself buy too many of the smaller sizes "just in case." I won't buy a new swimsuit "just in case" I'm not really looking that much better.
I think to go on from here, it will really help me to FORCE myself to appreciate my success and not leave any room in my life for the "just in case"s. I need to get rid of my crutches and tell myself I don't NEED things for "just in case" because I'm not letting myself get that way again!
Last weekend, I bought a GREAT dress that is just a little too tight. I know I can get to a point where it fits and I look DAMN good- and that's my goal. It was a little expensive-- which is helping motivate me not to let it go to waste!
Show yourself some confidence by investing in your change! I know it's hard (because I'm a cheapskate and don't have much money) but it really does help me so far!0 -
Just stopping by to say I know how you feel! I started at over 300 lbs and have been at a very comfortable 250 pounds since December. Somehow I just got lazy and let myself believe that 250 pounds is a good maintenance weight...but it's not. I still need to lose around 100 lbs. I went through my diary from when I was consistently losing weight. I am going to try to take some advice from myself and see where it takes me. Best of luck! :flowerforyou:0
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On my first go-round with MFP, I lost about 60 pounds! Then I started "sneaking" junk food without logging it. Sometimes a lot of it. It didn't show too much on the scale because I was exercising a lot. When a knee injury meant I couldn't even power walk any more (much less run), the bad eating plus lack of exercise over time led to putting 40 of those pounds back on. So I just started on MFP again a few weeks ago. What did I learn from my first experience? Two things, and they're both things others here have said. First, log log log. No matter what, log. Second, don't give up the foods you love, find a way to incorporate them. For me (and this might sound silly), it's peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. When I told someone at work that I was starting to eat right and exercise again, he said, "Oh, no more PB&J's for lunch!" And I said, "Oh, no, I'm still having that for lunch. I just factor that in and make sure I have room for those calories." So far it's working, I'm 5 pounds down.0
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Thank you. Last question: How do you push past the mental barrier that tells you that you "can't?" I know that it seems like a simple concept, but I keep getting held back because I can't break through mentally..
I'm sad that at 53lbs. down, you havent figured out how to push past the 'I can't do it' barrier yet.
You can because you did it before. That's all it takes for me, at least.
Such a good idea. You can do it.0 -
I think my past regains or failures to do as well as I could boiled down to me not believing I deserved it.
A lack of self esteem basically.
That and not tracking, just eating ridiculously low and over exercising.
I think health starts in the mind, if you can get this sorted it makes life easier.
Yeh, calories in/out and all that but that means squat if you are still unsure of who you are and where and what kind of person you want to be.
:sad:
:ohwell: :frown: :sick: :blushing:
THIS.0 -
I am struggling with the same issue, I actually searched for this topic because I don't know how to fix it, but you've all got such good advise, thank you! 0
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I self-sabotage. There are so many reasons we do it. Figure out why you do it and change it to your advantage.
The main reason I self sabotage is I am scared of being attractive to guys. I had a bad experience in the past and I just am scared of the attention. I don't want to re-live that experience. I've decided to use that to my advantage. Instead of having a bubble of fat protecting me from guys, I am working on having some kick *kitten* muscle. Being strong and able to defend myself will accomplish the same ends. I still have those issues I need to work on, but now they are working to my benefit as I deal with them.
I also was not ready to lose weight for many years. I wanted to so much. There's nothing I worked at harder or wanted more than to lose weight. My conscious self was all in. Subconsciously I was scared to death of losing weigh and if I saw the scale drop more than 10 lbs or so I just couldn't take it. I would stand on the scale and see 260 and immediately feel this insatiable hunger because I really was petrified of the scale dropping any further.
I've hit another plateau (at 257) and I'm struggling some with self sabotage. I don't think those feelings ever really go away, or if they do it takes a lot of effort and work. They're just something you have to push through. Don't give up. Keep working at it. I often tell myself this is a lifestyle change to live life the way I want to. Even if the scale doesn't change, I will continue.0 -
(I think) she means that you lose weight by persistently and accurately logging. If you keep doing that, you will reach your goal.
That means to keep it up for a long time - which is what it takes to lose a lot of weight - you don't 'reward' yourself as you get closer to goal. You incorporate healthy, enjoyable, pleasurable eating into your life and fit it into your calories. This is your life. Once you hit your goal you' will then have to maintain it. And that means always keeping in mind both portion control, monitoring what you're putting in your mouth, and finding things you love to eat and a way to fit that into the calories you CAN eat without gaining weight.
This is the rest of your life. Enjoy it.
Awesome!!!0 -
Lot and log consistently. I did the same as you. Finally got under 100kg and hit a block. I've ended up putting 12kg back on (dropped 2kg since I started logging again) It's so easy to tell yourself that you're doing everything right but if you're not logging you don't know. I kept crying I was putting weight on despite logging, once I did start logging again realized I was eating more than I thought. Viola, weight loss kick started again!0
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