Have my 7 year old on a "diet"

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  • sunsetzen
    sunsetzen Posts: 268 Member
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    When my stepdaughter was 7, she came home from 4 weeks at her mom's with three chins and wearing the only thing in her wardrobe that still fit--sweatpants and a tshirt--and she looked like a stuffed sausage. I didnt weigh her, but I reversed the damage from her poor diet there by just providing a wholesome, balanced diet with child-sized portions, healthy snacks and occassionally not so healthy ones. Its something we all did, not just her, and we didnt make any comments about how she looked before, during or after.

    If you're just doing a family lifestyle change but still serving healthy portions, I dont think anything else needs to be done. Make sure everyone is drinking a lot of water, eating fruits and vegetables and getting exercise. If you're going to be calorie counting for your 7 year old and focussing on weight and BMI, please talk to your doctor before doing anything.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    As far as the weekly weigh-in, yes, I do want to keep track of what's going on because I don't want things to get out of hand and him lose too much, too quickly. My husband and I are both nurses so maybe that's part of why we are so particular on documenting and keeping track of things on a regular basis. My son is very proud of his progress as well and he's been getting a ton of compliments from people. ;)

    and what happens the week he doesnt lose weight... and doesnt get the attention for 'doing so well'?
  • HeavenlyBri
    HeavenlyBri Posts: 32
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    I would just say, if your taking away what you used to give your kids, (junk food, snacks, etc etc) hopefully your not eating it around them either as that is like a punishment to them. At 7 years old the kids don't have any choice but to eat what is at school or what you give them.. so in the end its your responsibility as a parent if your kid is overweight.
    I don't eat any of those things either. I just don't buy them anymore. I never really did eat them. My issues came moreso from eating out all the time and not making good choices when I did so, and not being active. The kids now see me making better food choices and exercising daily. I know that it's my responsibility, that's why I'm taking control and trying to make a change. I don't want to be responsible for any health problems he would have because I allowed him to eat terrible foods. :(
  • slynn1234
    slynn1234 Posts: 15
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    My 12 year old is big. He is about 5 feet tall and over 100lbs, mostly in the middle. He spends most of his time with my mom (while I work) and she refuses to be smart about food. He is over weight, not obese and he is moderately active. He needs to make smarter choices when I am not there with him. He and I have had active conversations about health. We didn't discuss body images, just the effect of food on our body and energy level overall. Now he wants to get into competitive swim. Our conversations have evolved. He needs even better choices for that to be a successful activity for him, eating and movement... He is still growing and his body is ever changing. I just keep helping him to make better choices and moving forward. Good luck!
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
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    TL;DR
    I just read the title, but please don't eat your children.
  • celtbell3
    celtbell3 Posts: 738 Member
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    If you talk to your Dr., do it when your son is not in the office with you. My daughter was at her 8 year old well-child appt and the Dr. told me that she was in the 95th percentile for weight and was on track to being obese as an adult. She overheard what he said and at home asked me questions. I explained what the 95th percentile meant and what she can do. She took it to a new level - we thought she was busy making healthy decisions (she maintained the same weight for three years) as she started eating healthier foods overall and was being very active with sports and extra - instead she was denying herself. At her well child appt this year, she was the same weight again and the Dr now mentioned that while she was in the 15th percentile and still considered healthy, that we needed to watch her. One of her tricks was not allowing herself to eat anything after dinner (5PM). But, that was was just one thing. She also was very concerned about being active and was focused on doing things with me - running and biking and zumba and yoga. This past summer before school started we went out to eat and we found her food on the floor by her feet...it was chicken strips and she claimed that the first one she dropped and the other two she deliberately let fall. Anyway, we had a long talk about health and about how denying herself was not good and what it would do to her body - we focused on the physical because she is 11 and is now concerned with the physical. She put on 10 lbs in one month and has maintained that now for the past couple of months and is what I would consider normal. According to her BMI, she is right at 45% percentile for her weight. She eats when she is hungry and is active. She makes healthy choices still but will allow herself a treat at night should she want one. She just looks better. I don't believe she was in full blown anorexia or bulemia but she was well on her way with her binging and purging. Keep looking out for your son and I would recommend that any conversations with your doctor just be with your doctor - don't let your son overhear the conversation especially if he is a perfectionist. Good luck!!
  • HeavenlyBri
    HeavenlyBri Posts: 32
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    As far as the weekly weigh-in, yes, I do want to keep track of what's going on because I don't want things to get out of hand and him lose too much, too quickly. My husband and I are both nurses so maybe that's part of why we are so particular on documenting and keeping track of things on a regular basis. My son is very proud of his progress as well and he's been getting a ton of compliments from people. ;)

    and what happens the week he doesnt lose weight... and doesnt get the attention for 'doing so well'?
    There has been a time or two that there hasn't been a loss (he has averaged about a pound a week but not every single week has been a loss) and those weeks have been just fine! I'm not some monster. Nobody gets upset or disappointed. I tell him that he's done a great job and made good choices. I'd love him and am proud of him no matter what his size, I just want to try to make sure I give him the best shot at life possible. My ways may not be your ways, I understand that not everyone is going to agree with me and that's fine.
  • inktink
    inktink Posts: 135 Member
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    OP, as long as you are leading by example and not actually putting him on a diet, I think you're doing fine. You are doing what more parents should be doing. There should be no end in sight, per se. There shouldn't be a "when he reaches this weight, we will stop," because all of these changes should be lifestyle changes, not temporary changes to induce weight loss.

    It sounds like you're doing all the right things, keep it up, and be proud of yourself for teaching your child(ren) to be healthy!
  • HeavenlyBri
    HeavenlyBri Posts: 32
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    I have discussed it with his doctor. He's very pleased with the progress he has made thus far. We (the doctor and myself) never really set a "goal weight" for my son but basically he has said that we need to just make sure he's making healthy choices (most of the time) and that as he grows, he'll likely grow into his weight if we can maintain where he is. I hope I'm making sense, not enough coffee yet! :)

    but you have set a goal weight? Is this dr a ped? Sorry but cutting down junk i agree with but you describe an aim for the child to get to 85lbs and clearly weighing each week, specialists need consulting when children need to lose weight, not just the average gp?!
    Yes, his doctor is a pediatrician and I work for him. The "goal" that I have for him is just one I have in my mind. Nothing I've mentioned to my son or anything that I have set in stone. Just a weight that I think would likely be a good healthy weight for him, give or take a few pounds. I'm sure his weight loss will slow down a good bit once he gets closer to what his body is naturally set to be comfortable at.
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,650 Member
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    I think it sounds like you are doing just fine...it isnt even so much of a diet as it is just helping him learn to make better food choices. There is nothing wrong with him eating healthy snacks and limiting sugar treats to special occassions. As long as you aren't pushing him to lose weight or exercise more, or saying things to make him feel ashamed. You are just providing a healthy balance of foods, as all parents should aim to do.

    QFT!

    Good for you for teaching your son better eating habits. Maybe now he won't end up being one of the growing number of children with diabetes and other obesity-related issues. Great mom points to you.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    As far as the weekly weigh-in, yes, I do want to keep track of what's going on because I don't want things to get out of hand and him lose too much, too quickly. My husband and I are both nurses so maybe that's part of why we are so particular on documenting and keeping track of things on a regular basis. My son is very proud of his progress as well and he's been getting a ton of compliments from people. ;)

    and what happens the week he doesnt lose weight... and doesnt get the attention for 'doing so well'?

    Is there a need to "attack" her for trying to do right by her child? I feel like if she wasn't keeping track with how much she was losing you'd cry the opposite, how dare she not pay careful attention...

    if you think thats an 'attack' you should probably step away from the internet.....
  • ctalimenti
    ctalimenti Posts: 865 Member
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    I think you are doing great and made the right decision. It's a subject that really needs to be tackled when the kids are young.

    One question; how did he get so big? I'd assume overeating the wrong foods? Are you or your husband heavy?

    I too am a nurse (home care for last 28 yrs) and I see a direct correlation between the size of the occupants in the home and what is in the fridge and cupboards.
  • EMSchell2009
    EMSchell2009 Posts: 17 Member
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    OK, I have to say this. There ARE bad foods. Ask any of my kids about high fructose corn syrup or monosodium glutamate. There is no reason not to teach your kids that there are bad foods. In fact you should. But I also have to say that a seven year old not being allowed snacks is kind of...different. My kids eat regular meals and 2-3 snacks a day. The average human being should eat 5-6 times a day. It keeps a body from overeating. Personally I would not talk to a doctor about it, I would find a good herbalist or homeopathic physician, or if I did talk to my regular doctor it would be to get a recommendation for a good natural nutritionist. A good nutritionist will be able to tell you whether or not your son's weight is normal for his size and what his intake levels should be for his age and height.
  • Hestion
    Hestion Posts: 740 Member
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    Just to put out there i am a mother of a 12yr old incase anyone wants to come in with any 'bet you haven't got kids' stuff.

    So why is weighing him so important all the time then if you're not aiming for something? Surely then you could back the kid off the scales and maybe only have him pop on them every month or so?

    I see what you're saying i commend you for the healthy eating as a family, but the impact on him isn't going to be that if he's always on and off the scales, it is a diet and it will affect him.
  • inktink
    inktink Posts: 135 Member
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    -poof-
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
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    I wouldn't even consider those things a "diet", as you said. We don't allow sugary cereals in our house, and sweet treats are limited to special occasions like someone's birthday or something.
    This. It sounds to me like he's eating food. :-)
  • HeavenlyBri
    HeavenlyBri Posts: 32
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    I think you are doing great and made the right decision. It's a subject that really needs to be tackled when the kids are young.

    One question; how did he get so big? I'd assume overeating the wrong foods? Are you or your husband heavy?

    I too am a nurse (home care for last 28 yrs) and I see a direct correlation between the size of the occupants in the home and what is in the fridge and cupboards.
    I'm about 20 pounds overweight, my husband probably about the same. I was doing well until nursing school. :) Life got busy, was easier to get prepackaged foods and get take out than take time to cook wholesome meals. Had no time for exercise, nor the energy. Making it a priority in my life now. I have two older kids as well and they are a little on the heavier side but everyone is eating a bit healthier because that's what is available now in my home.
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
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    Sounds like you're doing a good job. Good to instill healthy eating habits in your children while they're young.

    My son is 4 and about 44 inches tall and just under 40lbs, so on no way overweight, but we're still careful about what he eats. We don't have sugary cereals - breakfast is either scrambled eggs and baked beans or porridge (oatmeal). He's at school now (kids start at 4 in England) and they have a piece of fruit at break. He takes a tuna sandwich and a yogurt for lunch. Sometimes he has a snack after school, and dinner is something healthy. He gets treats like ice cream sometimes. Usually if we have treats we prefer to make them ourselves, like little cupcakes or something. We also have a 2 year old daughter who is tall like her brother. She weighs about 24lbs.

    I want my children to grow up with a healthy attitude towards food.
  • HeavenlyBri
    HeavenlyBri Posts: 32
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    OK, I have to say this. There ARE bad foods. Ask any of my kids about high fructose corn syrup or monosodium glutamate. There is no reason not to teach your kids that there are bad foods. In fact you should. But I also have to say that a seven year old not being allowed snacks is kind of...different. My kids eat regular meals and 2-3 snacks a day. The average human being should eat 5-6 times a day. It keeps a body from overeating. Personally I would not talk to a doctor about it, I would find a good herbalist or homeopathic physician, or if I did talk to my regular doctor it would be to get a recommendation for a good natural nutritionist. A good nutritionist will be able to tell you whether or not your son's weight is normal for his size and what his intake levels should be for his age and height.
    He has snacks, just not the same kinds of snacks he had before. Now when he has snacks he has a piece of fruit, some veggies with hummus or some Greek yogurt, maybe even a cheese stick. He isn't constantly snacking on cheez-its or teddy grahams. That's what I was trying to say about the snacking but obviously didn't get my point across very well. He eats when he's hungry now, not just when he's bored.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
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    Sounds like what you're doing is working a treat. I don't think you need any suggestions until/if his weight loss stalls or there are any side effects - lack of energy I imagine would be the biggest for an active child.

    Sounds to me like you're both doing great. Are you sharing his diet i.e. you're not telling him he can't eat a cupcake while eating a cupcake, are you? If you're leading by example I would think it would be easier for both of you. If you can get a dialogue going that benefits you both, it's something you're both going to stick at much longer.

    So....very...much....this.

    Children rely on internal cues up until about the age of 3 when it comes to hunger. Then they become conditioned to rely on external cues and their sense of what is normal in terms of hunger, portion size, food choice and so on is mostly determined by their environment.

    Make this a whole family change towards a lifetime of health and happiness.

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