Why do men like spoiling women. (non giggity)

My ex-husband (notice the EX) used to buy me expensive gifts when he was cheating as if it made up for it. I'm not a man hater I love men, just saying.

Everyone is different, thus they demonstrate their love in different ways. Some show it through PDA's, but the most special of men do it by DOING things.

I never understood this until I took a relationship quiz one time...I wish I remember where or what or when...but that quiz taught me alot about my own husband, who I had long lamented wasn't the openly affectionate type. I learned that he is a doer - and that when he does things for me, that is how he demonstrates his love.

For example, last Tuesday my new bike arrived (a gift from my job commemorating my 25 years of service). Because it was sent through the mail, assembly was required. And while I was in class on Wednesday night, my husband assembled it for me.

He buys me my favorite perfume and jewelry, he changes the oil in my car, he assembles my new bike, he spoils me because he loves me. And after 26 years of marriage, I really appreciate that.

It's always about the giggity

My husband also thinks so :-/

Giggity is never not an option at some point in time.

I'm a long-term thinker.

My dear hubby is 65 and diabetic. Hasn't been any giggity in years, and according to my sister-in-law, she and hubby's brother have the same suituation. Don't expect giggity to be an option forever.

Slightly different take on this: some men are successful and ambitious at work and always on their game. The position, title, the money means more when you share that success with a special person.

Giggity is never not an option at some point in time.

I'm a long-term thinker.

My dear hubby is 65 and diabetic. Hasn't been any giggity in years, and according to my sister-in-law, she and hubby's brother have the same suituation. Don't expect giggity to be an option forever.

This is just sad. There are always options, just saying. That is if you care enough to try.

Men can be every bit as nurturing (or not) as women.

My brother loves taking care of people when they're sick. Whether it's a girlfriend or family member, if someone's sick he's always right there with a cup of tea, bowl of soup (the only time he ever cooks anything), some medicine, a blanket and a video game for the afflicted. If he sees something small in a store that he thinks I'll like, he gets it for me and I do the same for him. That's just how some people show their love.

ETA: I realize this conversation is mostly about significant others, but in this one aspect my brother treats all people close to him the same. And "giggity" is definitely off the table in our case.

if i care about the woman then I want to show it by expressing it. I do hold the door open, open the door for her in the car, make dinner, and take her out....but that's not spoiling...that's just being a good man

I don't spoil. If I'm taking a woman on a date, I pay. But I don't shower a woman with gifts or anything. If someone wants to be with me, it will be because she wants me. Not because I buy her a bunch of chit.

^^THIS^^ I don't want to feel like he is trying to buy my affection.

if i care about the woman then I want to show it by expressing it. I do hold the door open, open the door for her in the car, make dinner, and take her out....but that's not spoiling...that's just being a good man

^^AND THIS^^

Giggity is never not an option at some point in time.

I'm a long-term thinker.

My dear hubby is 65 and diabetic. Hasn't been any giggity in years, and according to my sister-in-law, she and hubby's brother have the same suituation. Don't expect giggity to be an option forever.

I'm not sure that being 65 and diabetic have anything at all to do with it. Sorry. But, that's the truth. There are other issues there. Giggity is always an option, and a great one. Saying it's not an option is giving up.

Diabetes affects circulation to the extreminties, so, yeah, I would think it might have something to do with it ...

At least if what I learned in sex ed is correct.

That could be, I suppose. I wasn't think about that issue. Yes, in that case, there could be no giggity. There could be other alternatives. I don't know, I'm not in the situation. There might be something. You just have to be open-minded.

True.

But then some people don't care that much about sex, so maybe she's OK with it.

I suppose it's possible.

I've been in relationships where I thought I didn't care about sex that much. It was like, "meh, I can take it or leave it". It was recently where I realized it wasn't the sex. It was the person. Lol.

Yes, the diabetic condition completely kills the hydraulics, in many cases, including this one. And I am very much NOT okay with it ( nothing wrong with ME) as I love him dearly, but don't want to go outside the marriage, so I just have to play the no-sex hand I'm dealt. Life isn't always fair. Yeah, there are other techniques, but that's just never as good. Oh well, at least I still have him as a companion, though not a lover.