Unsupportive Boyfriend and House

With the limited info we have, I agree with getting out of the house. You don't necessarily have to break up with your boyfriend, but at least move out on your own. Then insist that he moves out on his own too. This will give you a chance to see how he manages his own life without mom's help, and you'll have full control of your own surroundings. Only after at least several months of this, think about living together again--probably just as renters to start.

i feel your pain! and for the most part, i do not fall to temptation, but i do indulge a bit here and there.

i agree with a lot of what everyone is saying. why are you with this dude? you're putting him up on a pedestal, but it sounds as if he isn't doing anything for you. drop the zero! get with someone that shares your same feelings and interests about food and fitness.

pasta isn't a bad thing as long as you have it in moderation, but that's with anything. my wife used to the cooking in the house and it was all fried, high in sodium, high in fat, etc. so i do the cooking now. i've replaced the red meat with fish and chicken and i make lots of veggies with every meal (when i say "make" i mean i "heat up" veggies - thank you birdseye steamfresh!!!). i also try to have a salad at lunch or dinner each day.

if you don't want to cook for your boyfriend and his parents, do your own thing. cook separate meals and have you a piece of baked fish, brown rice, a big serving or 2 of veggies, a baked potato/sweet potato and a big salad with a bit of italian dressing. maybe they'll look at you and eventually want to change their ways.

good luck.

living together is a preview of marriage. Is this what you want for the rest of your life? Why is he making all the decisions? He doesn't want to buy a house until next year after he knows you can live together well. Will his family move into the house he/you buy? If not, this "experiment" isn't a fair assessment. He sounds very controlling and you sound submissive. If you are to have a good future together, he should be telling his mother to stop pushing food at you because you are trying to cut back. Either you are exaggerating or you are setting yourself up a for a lifetime of abusive marriage. Yes, abusive. Not physical harm necessarily but certainly mental abuse where you are not in control of what you want to eat, do, etc. If that works for you, great, good luck. If not, get out while you can do so easily.

Wow, some of you people are fairly/incredibly rude.

To be clear, my boyfriend and I both have fine jobs. He just isn't ready to look for houses until the beginning of the year.

And to those who say I am not being force fed, that is correct, however, it becomes pretty hard to resist when after you put your plate in the dishwasher, she grabs a new plate, fills it with new food and brings it to the table where you are sitting to chat with everyone as they finish dinner. I understand that this is not physical force feeding, but it makes you look like a **** if you go dump back in front of the other family members (who come to visit once a week for dinner)

I understand this is her house, which is why I stated its difficult to lose weight, because I don't expect her change, in fact, I never stated that. Why would I move into someones house and expect them to change? I didn't, I don't and I won't, so stop being rude and get over it. That is why I said its difficult, since I'm not expecting them to change, I'd like a little support when it becomes difficult to resist that second helping at dinner, or picking at the millions of snacks lying everywhere.

Seriously, where did some of you people grow up? In a world where "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all?" Didn't get taught?

Honestly, do those of you think I tell my mother in law that her food is crap? I don't. Because it isn't.

I know she's italian, but her family has lived in America for 3 generations, enough blaming this on culture. I'm a 2nd gen Hungarian, and my Grandma was a gypsy, I should blame any negative behavior I have on that! Even though (just like my mother in law) I have never been to that country, nor do I carry many of those traits.

Being any race or culture doesn't give you the right to be disrespectful, which she is when she brings me a plate of food after 4 polite no thanks yous. (Most of this is after I ate food right in front of her) She is incredibly rude in that regard. So stop making excuses for her.

Do you have a medical link that shows white flower is not bad for you?

The body absorbs processed grains and simple sugars relatively quickly. Increased blood sugar triggers a release of insulin, and, in an hour or two after eating, hunger returns.

Hello there! I'm 22, 5 foot, italian as all hell...and I know how it is!

I feel a lot of people here aren't understanding how Italian families work and the incredible focus on food and large portions. It is a culture, a custom, and often a source of offending people who don't understand healthy eating sadly.

I was overweight my whole life. Not significantly, but not unnoticeably either. Growing up, my family would praise me when the scale went up, and eventually I hit a point around 6th grade where I was like "wait...this isn't a good weight for me...why are they cheering?" My doctor also bluntly said "you'd better lay off the Burger King sweetie" (I always hated him >_<)

But the blunt truth is that they never will change. I have so many italian friends with mothers that are in DIRE health conditions and will not give up stocking the house with sausages, white bread, and bag upon bag of pasta. Thank God my mother is not in dire conditions yet, but I do also deal with the same battle. My mother likes to rinse out the pasta sauce jar with cream to get every last bit...that kind of situation.

You have to decide which is more important to you. The fact that he defends his mother so much is a bad sign...he should be supporting you! Even if you aren't eating the same foods- I don't get why that's anyone else's problem! But I do understand your position and how it offends her, though you don't mean to. They really are just like that.

The other day I went to my aunts and it's been 300 days of healthy eating for me. My mom asked what I'd like when we go there because of my eating requirements, and to make everyone happy I said "chinese food". I got a steamed veggie and shrimp plate, ate some lo-mein, a giant dumpling, and half a can of Coke (the craziest day I had in a while). I had worked out all morning, so I wasn't too concerned. And I was proud that nobody in my family would think I was "eating weird food" either. Needless to say, after stuffing my face, my aunt says, "So, when are you going to start eating NORMAL food again?" Umm....what is this? Some outer space food?

They just don't understand. When I was vegan for 6 months a while back, you should have heard the comments from my extended family. My mom understood, but everyone else was like "you're going to die! you can't survive without animal protein!" despite my arguments about substitutes and the vitamin content of green leafy vegetables.

Do this for you- ignore everyone else. If she gets that pissed at you- or if he does- then it's their own problem and you deserve better than that. No one should have to try and please everyone just to eat a damn meal!

My heart is with you...I hope this situation leads to a healthier happier you in the end

you're like "why cant I have it my way?" - the answer is its not your house, and you are making a problem by expecting everyone else to change when you can be the change or orchestrate the change.