How to deal with an Unsupportive spouse?

Perhaps it'd help to sit down with him and have a conversation when emotions aren't running high. Tell him how important losing weight is to you and tell him that you certainly didn't mean to make his work in the basement harder. Then ask him where the treadmill and weights could be placed in order for them to be most out of his way and yet accessible to you. In other words, try and engage him in solving the problem. Men love that. They're always attempting to fix our problems so he should be thrilled this is one you actually want his help with.

If he refuses to budge, then I'd get out the duct tape, layout a reasonable amount of space in a corner of the basement, drag the treadmill and weights into the area and dare him to cross the line. I mean, really, it is your basement too.

Agreed with all of this. I'm sure you could figure out a compromise if you worked together.

A few thoughts from the male side. The suggestion to get him involved in the solution is a good one. Working together is better than working against each other. Remember, you are on the same team. You could also move things out of the way and then carefully put them back. Perhaps put the weights someplace other than the basement. Possibly work out a temporary or trial membership at a gym until he gets done in the basement. Yes, he has the equipment that you can use but you can't use it right now. He might see that as a good solution. The best solution might be to get him to work out with you. Then he will know where everything is moved, he is saving the money from the gym, and he will get to spend time with you too!

My first reaction was to file for divorce and seek full custody of the weights and treadmill. But you want a serious answer. So... slip him some e on a daily basis. You'll get even more love from him and after awhile, his short-term memory will be crap and you can blame him for moving the stuff in the basement.

This.
I tried it.
It works.
Although the e gets a bit pricey and I couldn't get him to stop carpet swimming.

Haha!! I LOVE these answers!! Crack me up!

In reality though - my boyfriend was the same way when I was using his weights. I think it's the "that's my stuff" situation. He isn't using his weights, but you are and you're seeing results. If you explain to him that you are just trying to do well for yourself and that you are not trying to invade his space, hopefully he'll come around. Also, I'd tell him that you'll make sure to put his stuff back where you found it when you are done.

good luck!

just move his stuff out of the way and when you are done working out put his stuff back were it was!!!!

Just to be clear:

His refinishing and re-arranging project in the basement isn't intended to create a functional workout room, right? Because if he's trying to set up a nice space to lift and use the treadmill, and you're going down there and hiding his toolbox or something, that would be pretty ironic as a basis for this thread.

As a male I can't stress this enough "NEVER touch his stuff". I know where every tool, nut,bolt, doodad I own is. I can't remember what I had for breakfast, but I know where every item I own is.

And if something is missing (especially when I need it) I know either the wife of child was messing with it.

Moving his stuff then "moving it back" is a bad, bad idea.

You two need to come up with a solution that works best for both of you. "Ultimatums" are for poor partners. Can you get a shelf for him to put his stuff on? He will probably be reluctant to organize his stuff but after he will be thankful.

You need to be really clear this is your house too, and unless he wants to pony up $$ for a gym membership you need to use the TOOLS in your home available to you. He has his tools, you have your tools. Both need equal RESPECT.

There has to be some way he can organize his stuff so that you don't need to touch it. You don't need to be cleaning up after him anyway.

Husband and wife are equal in the marriage.

OK this is coming from a man that well the house is my kingdom, I am the ALPHA, the OMEGA, the beginning, the end. With that said....

I think your husband is completely in the wrong about this. I think if your health and weight is important to you, you need to give him an ultimatum. Tell him you will workout regardless of his wishes. Either he will support you by ensuring you can adequately exercise in the house, or you will simply join a gym. Then somehow mention that at home it saves $$ and no guys will gawk at you....(use the stereotype against him for this argument). Then give him a time frame. Then he makes the choice.

Yep. That's pretty much what I was going to say. You don't seem to care either way so long as you're working out, let him make the choice as to where it is.

He thinks Gyms are a waist of money cause he has weights and a treadmill so there is no reason to pay for it but he also isn't willing to accommodate a little so I can work out at home.

It is either deliberate sabotage or typical male thoughtlessness. Don't dwell on it. As I see it, you have two choices that fit within the lines you've drawn here. (1) Quietly and determinedly continue to move stuff out of the way so you can do your workouts at home, or (2) Quietly and determinedly go find a gym, plunk down the money, and do your workouts at the gym. The key is to channel your inner strength into doing what you need to do for yourself, in a quiet and determined way. He will cave once he sees you are totally locked into your target and won't back down.
[I'm assuming you also contribute to the household either monetarily (with an outside-the-home job) or with labor (cooking, cleaning, child-rearing, errand-running, etc.) so you get to make some decisions about how the household money is spent.]

Yeah, I would advocate the get a gym membership option, at least for now. It could be thoughtlessness, but if he sees you leaving home to go to the gym, he may realize why (or it can come up in conversation). IMO, it's not worth getting in to an argument about, especially over and over, so it might be better just to be passive until things change.

Your other option is to use the moving stuff out of the way as your work out and just add it in. I'm not sure what stuff you're referring to moving in particular, but if you wind up lifting stuff and moving around, have that count as 5 minutes of your work out and just make it a habit. I view picking up after my SO and deep cleaning the house as exercise and it makes me a lot less cranky about having to do it!

As a male I can't stress this enough "NEVER touch his stuff". I know where every tool, nut,bolt, doodad I own is. I can't remember what I had for breakfast, but I know where every item I own is.

And if something is missing (especially when I need it) I know either the wife of child was messing with it.

Moving his stuff then "moving it back" is a bad, bad idea.

You two need to come up with a solution that works best for both of you. "Ultimatums" are for poor partners. Can you get a shelf for him to put his stuff on? He will probably be reluctant to organize his stuff but after he will be thankful.

You need to be really clear this is your house too, and unless he wants to pony up $$ for a gym membership you need to use the TOOLS in your home available to you. He has his tools, you have your tools. Both need equal RESPECT.

There has to be some way he can organize his stuff so that you don't need to touch it. You don't need to be cleaning up after him anyway.

Husband and wife are equal in the marriage.

Personally, I couldn't care less if my wife touches "my stuff." it's not like she trying to hide things on purpose. if she moves something that I can't find, I just ask her where she put it. She's pretty bright and can usually remember.