Polite response to a situation at the gym...Help

13

Replies

  • Well OP heres what you do...
    walk up to her and smack her in the face with a 20lb dumbbell
  • _KitKat_
    _KitKat_ Posts: 1,066 Member
    wait. is the 30 minute rule there for the squat rack as well? because I do warm up sets, work sets, and assistance sets in one go and it can take 30 mins.

    for the record, if someone asks me how my sets i have left, and it's a lot, I usually ask them if they want to work in with me. Usually it's fun sharing the rack with some buff dude :)

    I would think thats perfect, you are working. I have no issues with someone working or asking if I can jump in with them. I love my gym and never have any issues...just this one lady.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    I am normally a polite but out spoken person, just a little confused on how to deal with a particular situation that I keep running into at my Gym.

    When I am strength training, I use certain machines. I really like the thigh (the one you squeeze and hip-abductor machine, I understand sharing and am normally patient, BUT whenever I go lately there is this one woman who takes up the machine for at least 30 mins. She just sits there texting and moving 10lbs non-stop. She is probably a little overweight, with large (not toned) thighs. I work on the machine with 180lbs. and am over and done very quickly (high weight/low rep). How would you guys handle the situation? I do not want to be rude and say "obviously this is not helping try doing sets with a heavier weight", ok maybe part of me wants to be rude. She is aware people are waiting for the machine and just has no regard for them. I have thought about asking if I could jump on for a few minutes, but I do not think that would go over well. Any ideas? I have already had 3 times I had to skip the machine because she was on it my whole workout.
    Any ideas to get to use the machine with out being a total B****.

    I've not read the other responses yet. I sat to ask her if she's done with the machine. If she refuses to finish up or let you work in, take it to a gym employee and let them handle it. Luckily we have few people doing this at our gym, but when they hog the machines I politely tell them I'd like to work in. They either finish up or let me work in.
  • MYhealthyjourney70
    MYhealthyjourney70 Posts: 276 Member
    just ask her if you can share and do a few sets. that machine at my recreation center is part of the circuit training and they are supposed to let others work in. the other day i thought this guy was done with the low back machine so i go over and set for my level and he came back... he actually was just walking off his set, but we shared he did his and while he was walking i did mine... all else fails say something to management...
  • Hildy_J
    Hildy_J Posts: 1,050 Member
    So interesting that you include information about the size of her thighs and your thoughts that the machine must not be working for her. Has NOTHING AT ALL to do with the issue of her hogging the machine.

    Yes, just find a polite way to ask if you can jump in...no need to try to "fat shame" her. That would be unnecessary and rude on your part.

    "Fat shaming" would NOT have been my intent. Just simply if you are doing something for so long and it isn't helping, then it is pointless. Then having little regard for those around you is just thoughtless. My thighs need work, so I would not shame someone, but if I had a disregard for people and was wasting my time with a pointless activity, then personally I would want to be told. This is also coming from that "brutally honest friend" that all girls need that will tell them if those jeans don't work. Don't ask if you don't want to know. Plus just because I could handle it and not take it as an insult, I do understand others could view it differently, hence me not wanting to be "rude". The only reason I secretly want to be rude, is because I feel she is. Also for those that said she may not realize, if she doesn't then she is oblivious to what is around her and lacking common social skills. Plus she is not large, just a little over weight and you can see that her thighs are her problem area, she obviously wants to work on them. She just is going about wrongly and it interferes with others.

    Like I posted earlier, unfortunately asking about her sets, does not register with her.

    As for the texting that is a little irritating lol

    OK I'll be the brutally honest 'friend'. Your attitude isn't great, here. Back off and change your routine so it doesn't clash with hers. It takes two to sustain an argument - even a silent one. Also try not to sit in judgment on other people's leg size or workout routines.

    Hope this helps! :flowerforyou:
  • Step one: Confront her as others have said.
    Step two: If she continues to hog it, report her.
  • Usually guys just say "how many more sets do you have?"

    It's code for "hurry the f*k up" lol

    ^ LMAO Yup, this. ^ Oh and throw in a "hi" first.
  • SailorKnightWing
    SailorKnightWing Posts: 875 Member
    Don't ask if you don't want to know.

    When did this woman ask you if she was doing her exercises properly?
  • Why the **** is she texting at the gym anyways .. I would be pissed.

    Ditto. AT the gym is one thing, ON the equipment is unacceptable.
  • emaren
    emaren Posts: 934 Member
    If all else fails, 'accidentally' throw an ice-cold protein shake down her back.....
  • _KitKat_
    _KitKat_ Posts: 1,066 Member
    So interesting that you include information about the size of her thighs and your thoughts that the machine must not be working for her. Has NOTHING AT ALL to do with the issue of her hogging the machine.

    Yes, just find a polite way to ask if you can jump in...no need to try to "fat shame" her. That would be unnecessary and rude on your part.

    "Fat shaming" would NOT have been my intent. Just simply if you are doing something for so long and it isn't helping, then it is pointless. Then having little regard for those around you is just thoughtless. My thighs need work, so I would not shame someone, but if I had a disregard for people and was wasting my time with a pointless activity, then personally I would want to be told. This is also coming from that "brutally honest friend" that all girls need that will tell them if those jeans don't work. Don't ask if you don't want to know. Plus just because I could handle it and not take it as an insult, I do understand others could view it differently, hence me not wanting to be "rude". The only reason I secretly want to be rude, is because I feel she is. Also for those that said she may not realize, if she doesn't then she is oblivious to what is around her and lacking common social skills. Plus she is not large, just a little over weight and you can see that her thighs are her problem area, she obviously wants to work on them. She just is going about wrongly and it interferes with others.

    Like I posted earlier, unfortunately asking about her sets, does not register with her.

    As for the texting that is a little irritating lol

    OK I'll be the brutally honest 'friend'. Your attitude isn't great, here. Back off and change your routine so it doesn't clash with hers. It takes two to sustain an argument - even a silent one. Also try not to sit in judgment on other people's leg size or workout routines.

    Hope this helps! :flowerforyou:

    It (my attitude) probably is not always the best, I always work around others without issue, but her routine is texting and taking over a specific machine for the total duration of my workout. My judgment on her leg size was just an observation (I also noticed her "workout" before I noticed her thighs, just thought the 2 were related to each other), I would love someone to tell me what works and what doesn't. One of the responses on here told me to lower my weight on the hip abductor, I took no insult just mailed her and asked if she had any other advice. I am also a firm believer that my rights end where someone else's begin. meaning my right to do as I please is only relative till it affects others around me.
    Plus quoting the word friend does not imply I am not a great friend. I will do anything for most anyone and am extremely loyal. My friends know that if they ask my opinion that I will give them my opinion. I can find beauty in most everyone and everything, but I will tell you what I think when asked.
  • So interesting that you include information about the size of her thighs and your thoughts that the machine must not be working for her. Has NOTHING AT ALL to do with the issue of her hogging the machine.

    Yes, just find a polite way to ask if you can jump in...no need to try to "fat shame" her. That would be unnecessary and rude on your part.

    "Fat shaming" would NOT have been my intent. Just simply if you are doing something for so long and it isn't helping, then it is pointless. Then having little regard for those around you is just thoughtless. My thighs need work, so I would not shame someone, but if I had a disregard for people and was wasting my time with a pointless activity, then personally I would want to be told. This is also coming from that "brutally honest friend" that all girls need that will tell them if those jeans don't work. Don't ask if you don't want to know. Plus just because I could handle it and not take it as an insult, I do understand others could view it differently, hence me not wanting to be "rude". The only reason I secretly want to be rude, is because I feel she is. Also for those that said she may not realize, if she doesn't then she is oblivious to what is around her and lacking common social skills. Plus she is not large, just a little over weight and you can see that her thighs are her problem area, she obviously wants to work on them. She just is going about wrongly and it interferes with others.

    Like I posted earlier, unfortunately asking about her sets, does not register with her.

    As for the texting that is a little irritating lol

    OK I'll be the brutally honest 'friend'. Your attitude isn't great, here. Back off and change your routine so it doesn't clash with hers. It takes two to sustain an argument - even a silent one. Also try not to sit in judgment on other people's leg size or workout routines.

    Hope this helps! :flowerforyou:

    Why should her attitude be great when she has ran into this same person, repeating her same behavior, she has ALREADY told everyone in another comment that yes she has asked her how many reps she had left and the girl gave her dirty looks so obviously being nice nice isn't working for this chick. You want to focus on how the OP made a comment about leg size yet ignore the rude user sitting on the machine for 30 min barely using while texting the whole time. If I needed to use a machine and I walked by a few times to check if it was empty and noticed they were lifting like 10 pounds and then stopping to text every few min I WOULD think WTF as well. The way people work out isn't anyone's business but that doesn't mean people don't notice things.
  • JNick77
    JNick77 Posts: 3,783 Member

    OK I'll be the brutally honest 'friend'. Your attitude isn't great, here. Back off and change your routine so it doesn't clash with hers.

    That's ridiculous. There's no reason that the OP couldn't walk up to her and politely ask her if she can work in with her in-between sets. It's a simple and common request.

    Let's be honest here, sitting on the equipment like that while you rest is rude and usually against most gym rules. I have never been in a commercial gym that does NOT have a sign that tells its members to NOT REST ON THE EQUIPMENT. Technically, she's probably breaking the gym's rule anyway. Again, it's not rude to ask to work-in with her in-between sets.
  • Hildy_J
    Hildy_J Posts: 1,050 Member

    OK I'll be the brutally honest 'friend'. Your attitude isn't great, here. Back off and change your routine so it doesn't clash with hers.

    That's ridiculous. There's no reason that the OP couldn't walk up to her and politely ask her if she can work in with her in-between sets. It's a simple and common request.

    It's too late for that. Battle has already commenced. The white flag is the only option, now.

    OP I'm sure you're lovely but really, she's sucking you in and getting off on the fact she's winding you up. Just disengage - don't sink to her level.

    Like others have said (if you really don't want to change your routine) - report her to staff and make sure it stays anonymous. Don't hop on the machine the moment she gets chucked off. Be discrete. :wink:
  • LauraBalyk
    LauraBalyk Posts: 219 Member
    Usually guys just say "how many more sets do you have?"

    It's code for "hurry the f*k up" lol

    use this, or "do you mind if I jump in in-between your sets?"
  • TheSwollMinister
    TheSwollMinister Posts: 246 Member

    Oh and ps- I don't think I would recommend doing high weights on the abductor. That's a spot on a ladies body you really don't want to make bigger with muscle. I usually do 50 lbs 20X3.

    Incorrect. Female testosterone levels make this statement mute. Heavier resistance training will lead to tighter, more toned muscles and therefore a tighter, more toned look. A better statement would have been "why the hell are you doing hip abductor anyway?" Most women do it as a way of "spot reduction", a way to melt fat off a specific area. Sorry to burst your bubble, but it just doesn't work that way. You cannot force your body to lose fat in a particular area by working that area vigorously. If your body wants to lose body fat, it will lose it in an area that it wants. And it’s usually not the area that you want unfortunately. This also goes for all those people crunching their way to a six pack, but I’ll save that for another post.

    Stick with squats (or leg press if you have trouble squatting).
  • Danny_Boy13
    Danny_Boy13 Posts: 2,094 Member
    Just ask how many more sets she has or if you can work in btwn her sets. If she gives attitude and she is just there chillin on the machine and not using it then there usually is not much the gym staff. I have been round and round with this on the jerk-wads that do curls in the power rack at my gym. There are typically no "rules" that states what a person can and can not do in terms of time on a piece of equipment, at least at my gym anyhow.
  • EmmieBaby
    EmmieBaby Posts: 1,235 Member
    Usually guys just say "how many more sets do you have?"

    It's code for "hurry the f*k up" lol

    ^^ this, I've used it for the bar to get my squats done =) 9/10 times they get the clue that you are waiting.

    its kinda like leaving the quarter on the DDR machine to let the dancers know you want to go next
  • DoingitWell
    DoingitWell Posts: 560 Member
    I am normally a polite but out spoken person, just a little confused on how to deal with a particular situation that I keep running into at my Gym.

    When I am strength training, I use certain machines. I really like the thigh (the one you squeeze and hip-abductor machine, I understand sharing and am normally patient, BUT whenever I go lately there is this one woman who takes up the machine for at least 30 mins. She just sits there texting and moving 10lbs non-stop. She is probably a little overweight, with large (not toned) thighs. I work on the machine with 180lbs. and am over and done very quickly (high weight/low rep). How would you guys handle the situation? I do not want to be rude and say "obviously this is not helping try doing sets with a heavier weight", ok maybe part of me wants to be rude. She is aware people are waiting for the machine and just has no regard for them. I have thought about asking if I could jump on for a few minutes, but I do not think that would go over well. Any ideas? I have already had 3 times I had to skip the machine because she was on it my whole workout.
    Any ideas to get to use the machine with out being a total B****.

    You could be passive like me and just do sumo deadlifts and "*kitten* to the grass" squats... those should clear up those muscle groups and then some :)

    I love this^^^^
  • rb16fitness
    rb16fitness Posts: 236 Member
    Texting!?! Tell her to shift her *kitten*. It's a gym not a coffee shop FFS!
    Get a member of staff to boot her off. Nothing winds me up more than knob-ends hogging the machines! :explode:
    Good luck.
  • ansonrinesmith
    ansonrinesmith Posts: 741 Member
    What does she do, if there is someone on the machine when she gets there? Perhaps a little bit of her own medicine?
    You and 5 friends go and do 10 minutes each, if she comes up and tries to get on, tell her there is a line for the machine, and she should wait her turn.
  • Booksandbeaches
    Booksandbeaches Posts: 1,791 Member
    kpost323, I really want an update to this thread after you've spoken to this woman or the trainers.
  • madmiya
    madmiya Posts: 66 Member
    So interesting that you include information about the size of her thighs and your thoughts that the machine must not be working for her. Has NOTHING AT ALL to do with the issue of her hogging the machine.

    Yes, just find a polite way to ask if you can jump in...no need to try to "fat shame" her. That would be unnecessary and rude on your part.

    "Fat shaming" would NOT have been my intent. Just simply if you are doing something for so long and it isn't helping, then it is pointless. Then having little regard for those around you is just thoughtless. My thighs need work, so I would not shame someone, but if I had a disregard for people and was wasting my time with a pointless activity, then personally I would want to be told. This is also coming from that "brutally honest friend" that all girls need that will tell them if those jeans don't work. Don't ask if you don't want to know. Plus just because I could handle it and not take it as an insult, I do understand others could view it differently, hence me not wanting to be "rude". The only reason I secretly want to be rude, is because I feel she is. Also for those that said she may not realize, if she doesn't then she is oblivious to what is around her and lacking common social skills. Plus she is not large, just a little over weight and you can see that her thighs are her problem area, she obviously wants to work on them. She just is going about wrongly and it interferes with others.

    Like I posted earlier, unfortunately asking about her sets, does not register with her.

    As for the texting that is a little irritating lol

    don't give it air. "fat shaming" is all the rage. like for every time i hear "bullying" you have to really examine if someone is really being bullied (which is a HUGE problem when it's legitimate) or just having their opinion disagreed with. when we throw around words like this, it's like crying wolf. no one will take the true cases seriously if they're completely inundated with nonsense accusations. it's serious.

    what i got from what you said was that she wasn't a serious trainer and that you are. that she was taking too long, distracting herself with texting and barely making effort on the machine.

    1. ask politely but not demurely "how many more sets?"
    2. if she's rude, doesn't answer, or keeps on for longer than promised go directly to the gym manager and explain your situation. you pay to work out and 30 min is entirely inappropriate for anyone to take up the thigh adductor machine.
    3. steer clear of her entirely. stay focused and don't let her get you ruffled.
  • hwoeltjen
    hwoeltjen Posts: 199 Member
    Simple...go over and say "Excuse me....how many sets do you have left?"

    This does two things.

    1) Lets her know you are waiting.
    2) She probably has no idea how many sets she even does...and will quickly get off the machine because she feels ignant.

    Ignant is a word.
  • teamAmelia
    teamAmelia Posts: 1,247 Member
    1-Try using the machine earlier?
    2-Go to the mgr or an employee and explain that she's just texting. Now, if she's working out - not necessarily your definition of working out - but if she's actually using the machines and texting, nothing you can do.


    Also, maybe she can't lift anything heavier either bc she's weak or under doctor's orders not to. That's nobody's business, though.
  • Manda_1986
    Manda_1986 Posts: 42 Member
    Well OP heres what you do...
    walk up to her and smack her in the face with a 20lb dumbbell

    lol probably not the nicest way to move her....but effective none the less.
  • teamAmelia
    teamAmelia Posts: 1,247 Member
    Why the **** is she texting at the gym anyways .. I would be pissed.
    Why can't she text at the gym? How do you know that she's texting? And, why would you be pissed? Some people have jobs, family, important stuff. I check my work email at least four times when I'm working out, but I'll sometimes go online for personal stuff. My prerogative. I normally do this on the treadmill or machines where I can still do the workout and use my hands. As long as I'm not just sitting on the equipment while I'm doing this, there's nothing wrong with it.
  • 1ZenGirl
    1ZenGirl Posts: 432 Member
    So interesting that you include information about the size of her thighs and your thoughts that the machine must not be working for her. Has NOTHING AT ALL to do with the issue of her hogging the machine.


    Exactly. Pretty catty and crappy comment. Why worry about sounding like a B*** to her face you are already one behind her back.
  • hwoeltjen
    hwoeltjen Posts: 199 Member
    Yeah because the other lady isn't a ***** hogging the machine in a gym with other people waiting to use it. Give me a break.

    Do the exercise and get off the damn machine. You want a personal gym..get one. Otherwise have some consideration for other people.
  • teamAmelia
    teamAmelia Posts: 1,247 Member
    Go straight for the jugular. Point out that the reason shes not making any progress is because shes not creating a big enough calorie deficit by twiddling her Vienna Sausage fingers on her smartphone and she may want to think about moving somewhere else.
    My opinion? If she's paying for her membership, she has a right to work out as she pleases -- as long as she's not breaking any gym rules.

    It was explained that shes not working out. So if I pay for a movie ticket and decide to talk the entire time I can do so because I paid for a ticket? Um no. I need to STFU like everyone else. Theres proper gym etiquette and I am pretty sure sitting there texting on your phone while others are waiting to use it is not appropriate behavior whether you paid or not.
    For this example, I think the OP may have just assumed that she wasn't working out enough according to the OP's own standards. I'm just basing that off of her harsh description of the woman.
    Most gyms have rules about not using your cell phone in the gym.
    Most gyms? Do you mean in the locker room? If my gym had a policy prohibiting cell phone use (aside from the locker rooms), I certainly wouldn't join.