Hi guys, boyfriend issue?
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Umm....Red Flag....:explode: ...Red Flag...:explode:
JUST NO...Red Flag :explode:
Control issues and lack of respect in the first 6 months....JUST NO :explode:
Move on now before he can waste anymore of your time.
Lol! We thought the same thing! :-)0 -
First..anytime a female complains publicly about her mate on this forum, the hens start clucking collectively "KICK HIM TO THE CURB".
Its always the same even for the most minor infraction.
First off, dont lie to us, don't lie to yourself. Telling us you are busy with school as an excuse not to eat right and workout? I have some news for you, college is the ONLY time in your adult life when you have time to eat right and workout. Working+coomuting 10-12 hours a day in the real world isnt going to free up any time for you.
That said....his behavior and extreme rudeness toward you is downright scary. It may be that he is just too young to know how to treat a woman and if you stick with him..well he will never learn. As men there exists a feedback mechanism we all have to how we're treating women..we either get laid, or get dumped. And this guy needs you to dump him hard in order to understand he cannot treat anyone this way.
Be honest that you probably have gained weight. That often happens as we get "comfortable" in relationships. There is no external motivating factor of having to compete in the dating pool to keep yourself fit.
Today I will have to agree with the hens. This guy is ****ing MILES from where he needs to be in treating women. And unless youre willing to put up with his idiocy for the rest of your life, you better free yourself now.
I agree with your boyfriend, you should take better care of yourself. By finding a supportive partner who will encourage and support you in good times and in bad and not kick you while you're down.
Think about what sort of husband he will be. What sort of FATHER. Will he pick on you for gaining baby weight? Will he wake up in the middle of the night to take care of the baby. Not likely.
As other posters said..you're 6 months in. Thats a pretty new relationship and THIS is his best behavior? Yikes.0 -
You are 20 yrs old.. move on.0
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vmerov0
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First..anytime a female complains publicly about her mate on this forum, the hens start clucking collectively "KICK HIM TO THE CURB".
Its always the same even for the most minor infraction.
First off, dont lie to us, don't lie to yourself. Telling us you are busy with school as an excuse not to eat right and workout? I have some news for you, college is the ONLY time in your adult life when you have time to eat right and workout. Working+coomuting 10-12 hours a day in the real world isnt going to free up any time for you.
That said....his behavior and extreme rudeness toward you is downright scary. It may be that he is just too young to know how to treat a woman and if you stick with him..well he will never learn. As men there exists a feedback mechanism we all have to how we're treating women..we either get laid, or get dumped. And this guy needs you to dump him hard in order to understand he cannot treat anyone this way.
Be honest that you probably have gained weight. That often happens as we get "comfortable" in relationships. There is no external motivating factor of having to compete in the dating pool to keep yourself fit.
Today I will have to agree with the hens. This guy is ****ing MILES from where he needs to be in treating women. And unless youre willing to put up with his idiocy for the rest of your life, you better free yourself now.
I agree with your boyfriend, you should take better care of yourself. By losing him.
See? The old adage "it takes one to know one" is true, and this guy is telling you that you're BF is a rude piece of
work.0 -
Chiming in with what everyone has said already; what he's doing isn't okay. It's one thing to occasionally mention how to be healthier, to discuss one's personal views on health, or to even offer to help another person in that regard. But there is a very clear and real line between offering help and forcing someone else to change because *you* (read: your douchetuba boyfriend) think you know what's best for another person. It's rude and controlling and has no reason to be constantly brought up in conversation like he has done.
Are you okay with your weight and health level? If so then he needs to back off, or as others have said perhaps he needs to be removed from your life permanently. Especially if this lack of respect towards you, your body, and the choices you make for YOUR body are readily ignored.
I'm sorry you are having to deal with a person like this in your life, OP. *hugs*0 -
See? The old adage "it takes one to know one" is true, and this guy is telling you that you're BF is a rude piece of
work.
Are you calling me rude? I suppose I've been called worse.0 -
First..anytime a female complains publicly about her mate on this forum, the hens start clucking collectively "KICK HIM TO THE CURB".
Its always the same even for the most minor infraction.
First off, dont lie to us, don't lie to yourself. Telling us you are busy with school as an excuse not to eat right and workout? I have some news for you, college is the ONLY time in your adult life when you have time to eat right and workout. Working+coomuting 10-12 hours a day in the real world isnt going to free up any time for you.
That said....his behavior and extreme rudeness toward you is downright scary. It may be that he is just too young to know how to treat a woman and if you stick with him..well he will never learn. As men there exists a feedback mechanism we all have to how we're treating women..we either get laid, or get dumped. And this guy needs you to dump him hard in order to understand he cannot treat anyone this way.
Be honest that you probably have gained weight. That often happens as we get "comfortable" in relationships. There is no external motivating factor of having to compete in the dating pool to keep yourself fit.
Today I will have to agree with the hens. This guy is ****ing MILES from where he needs to be in treating women. And unless youre willing to put up with his idiocy for the rest of your life, you better free yourself now.
I agree with your boyfriend, you should take better care of yourself. By losing him.
I like the way you are honest with your opinion here & thanks. (lol, the school part hurts though sigh:P) Still, I'm pretty sure that I didn't gain weight. Why would I lie on an anonymous forum? All my clothes from back then fit me just the way they did before, and I see it in the mirror that I didn't gain weight. My family agrees to it, too. I guess it's him - he did get much skinnier. So maybe the way he thinks of his perfect couple has changed. Dunno. 0 -
I am afraid that
1) This young man is too shallow to understand that if someone is normal weight for their height, with a bmi in the normal range, and that they are happy with their body, that the person doesn't need to change!
2) If he will complain about a normal weight, normal bmi body, it is just a way to exert control.
3) If this person continues to harrass you about this, even though you have told him that you don't care and am not interested in his views, he just may not care enough.0 -
Sorry if I misread that OP. Your picture just showed up. You don't need to be taking any bull from any man. Guys are a dime a dozen.0
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First..anytime a female complains publicly about her mate on this forum, the hens start clucking collectively "KICK HIM TO THE CURB".
Its always the same even for the most minor infraction.
First off, dont lie to us, don't lie to yourself. Telling us you are busy with school as an excuse not to eat right and workout? I have some news for you, college is the ONLY time in your adult life when you have time to eat right and workout. Working+coomuting 10-12 hours a day in the real world isnt going to free up any time for you.
That said....his behavior and extreme rudeness toward you is downright scary. It may be that he is just too young to know how to treat a woman and if you stick with him..well he will never learn. As men there exists a feedback mechanism we all have to how we're treating women..we either get laid, or get dumped. And this guy needs you to dump him hard in order to understand he cannot treat anyone this way.
Be honest that you probably have gained weight. That often happens as we get "comfortable" in relationships. There is no external motivating factor of having to compete in the dating pool to keep yourself fit.
Today I will have to agree with the hens. This guy is ****ing MILES from where he needs to be in treating women. And unless youre willing to put up with his idiocy for the rest of your life, you better free yourself now.
I agree with your boyfriend, you should take better care of yourself. By finding a supportive partner who will encourage and support you in good times and in bad and not kick you while you're down.
Think about what sort of husband he will be. What sort of FATHER. Will he pick on you for gaining baby weight? Will he wake up in the middle of the night to take care of the baby. Not likely.
As other posters said..you're 6 months in. Thats a pretty new relationship and THIS is his best behavior? Yikes.
You, good sir, are fifteen different kinds of awesome for this comment. I really wish someone had said somehing like this to me when I was in my early twenties. Coming from a male perspective helps a lot, I think, when it comes to this kind of an issue. At least for me, anyways.
I'd totally shake your hand if I could. And maybe give you a hug.0 -
You, good sir, are fifteen different kinds of awesome for this comment. I really wish someone had said somehing like this to me when I was in my early twenties. Coming from a male perspective helps a lot, I think, when it comes to this kind of an issue. At least for me, anyways.
I'd totally shake your hand if I could. And maybe give you a hug.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me on this site. Usually they just call me an @sshole if I use my brutally honest caveman style of response. Thank you. Really.0 -
you dealt with this guy for 6 months?!!!?!0
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You're seeing big red flags.
You've been together 6 months. This is still his "best behavior."
If he's this way now, it ain't gonna get any better.
You're young. Be smart. I wouldn't waste any more of my time on him.
Good luck!
YES. X2!0 -
6 months in? And you're 20 years old? Girl you should run from this man ASAP! Find a man that will build you up no matter what shape you are. You deserve so much more than this! A good man will love you for who you are, will NOT say such negative things about your body and will support you in your decisions.0
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"Laughs like an idiot" , because he IS an idiot! Let him find some gym bunny, you've got better things to do (and nicer guys to meet.)
i like this one but yeah your still young drop kick his butt to the curve find your self a guy who respects you0 -
You dont need that jerk, move on.0
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That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me on this site. Usually they just call me an @sshole if I use my brutally honest caveman style of response. Thank you. Really.
You are honest, and sometimes that honesty stings. Especially when it's not sugar coated
But that doesn't mean that it isn't valid. What you said was true, after college it gets harder to be healthy. That's just how it is. But you also explained why this man's behavior is so out of line, that even considering the fact that OP has time to work out if she wants her bf has no reason to behave that way.
Story time with Auntie Accio! My ex-husband acted like OP's bf from very early on and I believed him for years. I never had that person come up to me six months in and say "I know that ladies tend to overreact sometimes about men, but this dirt bag is not worth your time. Really. Ditch him." Because I thought the nice people were just overreacting, being nice to make me feel better.
Like I said, that's just me and what helps me better myself. Not everyone does well with hard honesty, and not everyone succeeds with sugar coating. The world needs both. Try and remember that next time someone puts you down. Because there's probably someone like me lurking on that post who could really use hearing it.0 -
This isn't about your weight. This is about his desire to exert control over you. If he were dating a supermodel, he would abuse her about something else.
Here's the part that's going to suck: why are you still with him? Does this relationship somehow parallel your relationship with your father? No doubt you should leave him, but that's not the important thing to take from this. You have to ask some pretty tough questions about yourself and why you were attracted to him and stayed with him in the first place. And you need to do it with a licensed therapist.0 -
Umm....Red Flag....:explode: ...Red Flag...:explode:
JUST NO...Red Flag :explode:
Control issues and lack of respect in the first 6 months....JUST NO :explode:
Move on now before he can waste anymore of your time.
Lol! We thought the same thing! :-)
Great minds :flowerforyou:
In all seriousness, ladies with a few years of experience under our belts should be able to help younger women say yes to themselves. External pressure to look a particular way + stress transitioning to adult responsibility + badgering = poor relationship with food/body image mine field. We can do young ladies a favor by reminding them that they are living for themselves and that they have every right to prioritize their own expectations for themselves.
So to all of you brave younger women making your way out there, including the OP...Sometimes you just gotta DO YOU!0
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