A Man Walks Down A Street And Falls Into A Hole
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Don't wait. Start right now. BY FAR my biggest regret is that I waited until I was near my goal weight to start lifting.
For example, before I learned to manage my compulsive overeating, I used to go to a cupcake shop in a nearby town every Saturday, buy four large cupcakes (usually red velvet w/cream cheese frosting if they had them), drive to a local park where no one would see me, and wolf all four of them down in the car. I would wake up on Saturday morning and say, "I really shouldn't eat those cupcakes today, I gained three lbs last week". But then somehow I would find myself driving close to that town to do "errands" that could have been done in another town. I would try and try to resist but I would eventually end up at that shop and in the car with those cupcakes.
Eventually, I decided to give up baked goods altogether. Once the cravings had passed, I realized how much self control I actually had. I never ate cupcakes, nor any other baked good again. It's been almost two years.
That was my hole and the abstinence from sweets is my new street. How about you?
WOW, well done you for recognising the `wrong street and hole`
I am sure there are lots of people on MFP with compulsive eating disorders that you can share your advice with for them to get in a good place also :flowerforyou:
My new street is trying to keep following the one marked weights not just walking
Aw, thanks!
I think I need to walk down that new street with you - I love to run and bike but keep shunning those weights even though I KNOW it's so good for me, especially since I'm over 40 years old. This winter I will start.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/977538-halp-heavy-lifting-made-me-supah-bulky
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1045433-women-lifting-heavy-with-pics
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/987513-lifting-is-the-most-horrible-thing-to-a-woman-since-twiggy
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1102508-mfp-fitspiration
and this:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1126817-why-are-so-many-people-waiting-to-add-lifting?
Awesome - thanks for that! I'll read these tomorrow on my lunch break!! I just might be reaching out to you with questions as well, if that's alright?0 -
You sound like a lovely person. Thanks for sharing your story!0
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This is what I am hoping to do. I know when I eliminate a food, I crave it constantly. So I am trying to work on portion control. I am just beginning so I don't know if this will work. But that is what I am going to try.0
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Don't wait. Start right now. BY FAR my biggest regret is that I waited until I was near my goal weight to start lifting.
For example, before I learned to manage my compulsive overeating, I used to go to a cupcake shop in a nearby town every Saturday, buy four large cupcakes (usually red velvet w/cream cheese frosting if they had them), drive to a local park where no one would see me, and wolf all four of them down in the car. I would wake up on Saturday morning and say, "I really shouldn't eat those cupcakes today, I gained three lbs last week". But then somehow I would find myself driving close to that town to do "errands" that could have been done in another town. I would try and try to resist but I would eventually end up at that shop and in the car with those cupcakes.
Eventually, I decided to give up baked goods altogether. Once the cravings had passed, I realized how much self control I actually had. I never ate cupcakes, nor any other baked good again. It's been almost two years.
That was my hole and the abstinence from sweets is my new street. How about you?
WOW, well done you for recognising the `wrong street and hole`
I am sure there are lots of people on MFP with compulsive eating disorders that you can share your advice with for them to get in a good place also :flowerforyou:
My new street is trying to keep following the one marked weights not just walking
Aw, thanks!
I think I need to walk down that new street with you - I love to run and bike but keep shunning those weights even though I KNOW it's so good for me, especially since I'm over 40 years old. This winter I will start.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/977538-halp-heavy-lifting-made-me-supah-bulky
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1045433-women-lifting-heavy-with-pics
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/987513-lifting-is-the-most-horrible-thing-to-a-woman-since-twiggy
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1102508-mfp-fitspiration
and this:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1126817-why-are-so-many-people-waiting-to-add-lifting?
Going to check those out tomorrow in the hope they inspire me x0 -
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I just started 10 weeks ago, so I know diddly, but ask away and I might be able to point you in the right direction. :flowerforyou: This group here is an excellent one to join:
Don't wait. Start right now. BY FAR my biggest regret is that I waited until I was near my goal weight to start lifting.
For example, before I learned to manage my compulsive overeating, I used to go to a cupcake shop in a nearby town every Saturday, buy four large cupcakes (usually red velvet w/cream cheese frosting if they had them), drive to a local park where no one would see me, and wolf all four of them down in the car. I would wake up on Saturday morning and say, "I really shouldn't eat those cupcakes today, I gained three lbs last week". But then somehow I would find myself driving close to that town to do "errands" that could have been done in another town. I would try and try to resist but I would eventually end up at that shop and in the car with those cupcakes.
Eventually, I decided to give up baked goods altogether. Once the cravings had passed, I realized how much self control I actually had. I never ate cupcakes, nor any other baked good again. It's been almost two years.
That was my hole and the abstinence from sweets is my new street. How about you?
WOW, well done you for recognising the `wrong street and hole`
I am sure there are lots of people on MFP with compulsive eating disorders that you can share your advice with for them to get in a good place also :flowerforyou:
My new street is trying to keep following the one marked weights not just walking
Aw, thanks!
I think I need to walk down that new street with you - I love to run and bike but keep shunning those weights even though I KNOW it's so good for me, especially since I'm over 40 years old. This winter I will start.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/977538-halp-heavy-lifting-made-me-supah-bulky
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1045433-women-lifting-heavy-with-pics
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/987513-lifting-is-the-most-horrible-thing-to-a-woman-since-twiggy
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1102508-mfp-fitspiration
and this:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1126817-why-are-so-many-people-waiting-to-add-lifting?
Awesome - thanks for that! I'll read these tomorrow on my lunch break!! I just might be reaching out to you with questions as well, if that's alright?
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/10118-eat-train-progress0 -
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Awesome post. Now I'm going to look into this macro diet thing...0
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the hole I used to fall in was abstinence, well, I guess the street was abstinence and the holes were all the things I didn't really want to abstain from. Then I took a stroll down moderation street. There's all the things I want to eat there, just in sensible serving sizes and a big advertisment for eating more slowly and enjoying every bite, and shops selling high protein and other very nutritious food, to also enjoy every bite of. And no holes. And McDonalds is only open once a week.
That's interesting that abstinence became a hole for you. I'd almost call that "legalism" instead of abstinence though, because abstinence in and of itself isn't a bad thing... If you practice abstinence in a legalistic way with yourself (i.e., you tell yourself those things are "bad" and you're a "bad person" if you eat them) then I can see how someone could fall into that hole, that'd be miserable. It's great to hear that you were able to practice moderation with those things, how freeing. There are a lot of people who can do it. I'm not one of them when it comes to sweets (though I do moderation in lots and lots of other goodies), but there are a lot who can!
I see what you mean re the difference between legalism and abstinence... and it's a good point because I'm fine abstaining from things that I don't want to eat. It's things that I want to eat that's the issue.... if I get in the mentality that I can't have them, that they're forbidden foods, then I want them a lot more, and when I do get them, I feel like I have to eat as much as I can of them, because they're forbidden and I feel like I won't get the chance to eat them another time. However, when I allow myself to eat what I want, in moderation, then a lot of "forbidden foods" lose their appeal, and I end up not wanting to eat them after all, or wanting to eat them, but being able to stop eating them after a sensible portion, and even eating just some of it and saving the rest for later.
I think this mentality comes from childhood, where my parents were very strict about what snacks and sweets we were or were not allowed, and as soon as I was old enough I would sneak out and buy sweets after school... I'm pretty sure that started me on this mentality of trying to eat forbidden foods when I had the chance. I was very active as a child so it didn't make me fat then. I got fat as an adult after quitting ice hockey, because I carried on eating the same amount as i did when I was training 3-4x a week plus games at the weekends, and that's when this "got to eat all the stuff i'm not allowed to" thing started to be a problem. Giving myself permission to eat what i want and learning how to view all foods as being just food and nothing special, and just different in terms of what nutrients they provide and focusing on getting enough of each nutrient rather than avoiding "forbidden foods" were the main things that enabled me to stick to my calorie goals and get to a healthy body fat percentage. I've been successfully maintaining a healthy body fat percentage for well over a year now, approaching 2 years (I can't remember the exact dates because long term maintenance has always been a bigger goal than a particular weight or body fat percentage)0 -
I see what you mean re the difference between legalism and abstinence... and it's a good point because I'm fine abstaining from things that I don't want to eat. It's things that I want to eat that's the issue.... if I get in the mentality that I can't have them, that they're forbidden foods, then I want them a lot more, and when I do get them, I feel like I have to eat as much as I can of them, because they're forbidden and I feel like I won't get the chance to eat them another time. However, when I allow myself to eat what I want, in moderation, then a lot of "forbidden foods" lose their appeal, and I end up not wanting to eat them after all, or wanting to eat them, but being able to stop eating them after a sensible portion, and even eating just some of it and saving the rest for later.
I think this mentality comes from childhood, where my parents were very strict about what snacks and sweets we were or were not allowed, and as soon as I was old enough I would sneak out and buy sweets after school... I'm pretty sure that started me on this mentality of trying to eat forbidden foods when I had the chance. I was very active as a child so it didn't make me fat then. I got fat as an adult after quitting ice hockey, because I carried on eating the same amount as i did when I was training 3-4x a week plus games at the weekends, and that's when this "got to eat all the stuff i'm not allowed to" thing started to be a problem. Giving myself permission to eat what i want and learning how to view all foods as being just food and nothing special, and just different in terms of what nutrients they provide and focusing on getting enough of each nutrient rather than avoiding "forbidden foods" were the main things that enabled me to stick to my calorie goals and get to a healthy body fat percentage. I've been successfully maintaining a healthy body fat percentage for well over a year now, approaching 2 years (I can't remember the exact dates because long term maintenance has always been a bigger goal than a particular weight or body fat percentage)
I think you've hit the nail on the head as to what true abstinence is (and isn't)! This is good insight for me. I never thought of it this way.
I think Abstinence must include not just a willingness to give something up, but a wholehearted surrender to that idea/process. In a moment of resolved decision (such as on New Year's Day) we are all pretty much willing to give up certain things. But do we surrender to that process with our whole heart? Do we make peace with the fact that this will be long term and possibly permanent? In those initial and inevitable moments of craving/desire, do we listen (surrender) to the voice of conscience that says, "please don't touch that"? Not usually, and thus we "fall off the wagon" a few days later....
When you talk to recovering addicts of all sorts, they'll tell you that Abstinence paired with Surrender is a joy. They are happy to refrain from consuming particular things or participating in particular behaviors. There's a peace about it, an acceptance. Part of this is because they've come to understand that these things/behaviors actually disturb and even destroy their lives.
It's more than, "I shouldn't have that because it's "bad"", it's more proactive - it's "I *choose* not to have this, because I love myself and want to protect myself." It's partly an authoritative act, but it's mostly a loving act, overall.
On the other hand, Abstinence paried with Legalism does just what you talked about - makes you crave the thing more. It's not loving, it's lording something over yourself. It's saying, "I deny you this thing you love because YOU are a bad person and cannot handle yourself around it." It comes from a position of authority without love. And what do people usually want to do with patronizing authority? Rebel against it.
Two years ago (and I have no idea why this happened at that moment), I decided to Abstain from sweets, white flour, and artificial sweetener with Surrender and Love for myself. The cravings almost instantly went away (just like you said the cravings went away when you acted in Moderation with yourself). Hmmm - both have Grace and Love in common - my Abstinence and your Moderation. Both are just as good as the other.
The question to ask oneself then, is, "which do I need in this scenario? Abstinence or Moderation?" For most of us, it'll be a little of both. 0 -
Rewarding my losses with more food :blushing:
Stupid. I lose some, think I can reward myself with foods I've been avoiding (like french fries
), then gradually reward myself more and more.
I must eat to live, not live to eat. I realize now I can have what I want, as long as it's in moderation and I include it in my calories.0 -
Reading that has made me really really really want to eat some cupcakes now.
Reading it has me singing Paul Simon songs in my head....
A man walks down the street
He says why am I soft in the middle now
Why am I soft in the middle
The rest of my life is so hard
I need a photo-opportunity
I want a shot at redemption
Don't want to end up a cartoon
In a cartoon graveyard0
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