partner needs help adjusting to loose skin

LaPetit, Thank You for saying I'm beautiful. ALL of the responses have lifted me up to a better place. You too are a very stunningly beautiful woman. My BF sits beside me as we read all of the responses. He has been in love 3 times in his life, I'm the 3rd one and he's 48, I yr older than myself. He had a beauituful body in HS, and the all star FB player ect. Now he's been divorced a bit over a yr, and admits he's NEVER been attracted to the body of any of us the "loves". He destroyed a USB file he had collected of photos of our friends, and even some much too young for him top be looking at (about 20-ish ages) and realizes there IS a problem. He has thrown out his quite extensive collection of pornography videos. Sadly, many of these videos were his late Dad's, and so I can see why he would think the same thing, and his brain would go that direction about women. Men follow what their father's often teach them. Not saying his father is a bad man at all either, b/c I never met the man, but it's still a "body image" problem men tend to have, I recognize that. My ex says he never had a problem with my body, BUT, he went through all the pre-weight loss classes. He's actually trying to help my BF,Scott, and I b/c he went through the same thing, learning to adjust to the new me, skin and all. Though it didn't bother my ex, he still had a new body to get used to. We have already begun looking at weight loss support groups in our area. Luckily we live in a small town, but near St Louis, so we have lots of hospitals to find a good "after weight loss" support group. He's trying HARD. He cries a lot. He apologized to all the women on his USB file he kept for his own personal sicky gain. He's had to really swallow some serious shame to get to this point, so that's why I stay. He's a VERY kind hearted man, that got lonely and a screwed up sense of what women really look like. One of the women on his USB file is a friend of ours from way back when we were young, and as I mentioned,we're nearing our 50's now and came from the same small town outside STL. This friend he has really "lusted" after for years said to him "I'm short, had BIG twins, and he wouldn't be attracted to me anyway". She made me cry, and these comments, show him, that even though he "thought" our friend was a beautiful bodies woman with large breast, nice butt ect......he read otherwise. She and her hub have been together since HS....we love them for the help they bestowed by #1 her husband forgiving Scott, my BF,and number 2, taking that perfect image of HER out of his head, and letting him know.....it's not the same unclothed. Thank you again, and know that today, Scott is making a call for counseling. We're very low income as he's disabled and my disability has not kicked in. There's GOOD free counseling out there, and not so good free counseling. We're looking to you all, b/c YOU have all been where I am.....and some of you, where he is. Thank you again. You made my morning LePetit.

Mxx, Thank you for your sweet compliment as well. I'm lifted up greatly this morning by all of you.

Scott is seeking help. All porn is out of the house. Much of it was his Dad's. I can understand a boy, thinking it's "fine" to have this image if his late Daddy did. I'm trying to be a genuinely supportive woman. I see him cry every day for his guilt.

I've seen, and even helped him type apologies for lifting pics of women we KNOW off FB. It's been HARD knowing he found our friends, and even some of their 20 yr old kids, more attractive than me. There was no file of ME on his USB file.....hurts....oh yeah, hurts .USB file has been smashed btw.

He's been talking to me as a "friend only" for a year on Facebook. He did a smidge of flirting with me, but I read posts where he was constantly striking up convoes with girls on FB trying to flirt to "see where it would go"....(even after we were a couple) No one flirted back or wanted to date. I started to come over after my husband left me....a few months had gone by, and I did work on loving ME again, and to let go of anger. Almost ex and I, AND my BF get along wonderfully......I took a few months to cry and heal, but not the yr a lot of people say one needs to heal. I already had my 1 night stand rebound, that also did not work out before Scott, my current BF, also someone from my tiny little hometown.

My BF and I just worked in his yard doing things he cannot do disabled. He and I grew close. He's got an amazing heart and is well respected by all in our little tiny town we're from.....and I feel loved.

Once, my blood sugar dropped after I nearly broke a bone, and I passed out in his yard. He was AMAZINGLY loving and so worried about me. This disabled man made it in the house at warp speed, threw his disabled body on the ground next to me and started spoon feeding me Peanut Butter to bring the sugar back up, then laid on the ground with me for 30 min,not letting me get up till he was for sure I'm OK. He covers my body in the middle of the night to keep me warm, and loves me like I've never been loved, so I feel he's worth staying and me fighting through this, to stand right beside him while he gets the help.

He just made a call for counseling as I typed this. I make NO excuses for him, only to say, that I DO feel love, I DO know he's a wonderful person, and I DO know when I'm with him, I am actually very happy to be around him and share my days and nights with him. He has his own issues to deal with health-wise, and even some "dysfunction" from his disability, that WE deal with together. It's been rough, but God, I hope it ends well. I'm investing all the love I have into him, as he is me I feel.
Again, we cannot be more thankful for your advice, thanks for taking the time to respond.
Lisa

Quiet Bloom,
230# don't seem to wanna shrink back. Though I do feel blessed I don't have turkey waddle, I have all the other ugly sag many of you know about. But, I'm going to look into some ideas and options mentioned here, and am truly grateful for your reply.
If you read my other replies, you'll note that Scott, my BF, is seeking help, and has thrown out all the things causing us problems, & although I feel sort of like a "prude" he has let me change his FB password, and only I have it, since FB was a problem for us.
Lisa