OT -- What's the Funniest Pick Up Line You've Heard?

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Replies

  • mholmes
    mholmes Posts: 949 Member
    I have a few:

    (similar to the windex one....."Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants"
    -Do you know where the veterinarian office is because these pythons are SICK (flexing), I cant believe a guy literally did that to me at a bar! But it was so hialrious I let him buy me a drink.
    -And one time my fiance, and all of his friends and I were all at our local bar, its karaoke night and he busts out with all of his friends in TopGun manner, the nthe song ended and he proposed....I love that movie! But I was soooooo embarrassed, ten drunk guys singing how id lost my lovin feelin.....sheesh, but hey, its a great story


    awww....My hubby proposed and then peed my name in the sand :love:

    Now that's romance.

    yep! I was still checkin out the rock to make sure it was real and he said "baby, baby!! Look at this! I peed your name in the sand!" My mom says no matter how the men propose now to my sisters, no man can live up to that:laugh:
  • mholmes
    mholmes Posts: 949 Member
    omg...I forgot the best one.

    I was "sick" in the bathroom at a party and a guy came in and asked me if "I wanted to make out". lol
    I could barely lift my head from the toilet to give him a dirty look!!

    :sick:
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
    I have a few:

    (similar to the windex one....."Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants"
    -Do you know where the veterinarian office is because these pythons are SICK (flexing), I cant believe a guy literally did that to me at a bar! But it was so hialrious I let him buy me a drink.
    -And one time my fiance, and all of his friends and I were all at our local bar, its karaoke night and he busts out with all of his friends in TopGun manner, the nthe song ended and he proposed....I love that movie! But I was soooooo embarrassed, ten drunk guys singing how id lost my lovin feelin.....sheesh, but hey, its a great story


    awww....My hubby proposed and then peed my name in the sand :love:

    Now that's romance.

    yep! I was still checkin out the rock to make sure it was real and he said "baby, baby!! Look at this! I peed your name in the sand!" My mom says no matter how the men propose now to my sisters, no man can live up to that:laugh:

    True that.
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
    I have a few:

    (similar to the windex one....."Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants"
    -Do you know where the veterinarian office is because these pythons are SICK (flexing), I cant believe a guy literally did that to me at a bar! But it was so hialrious I let him buy me a drink.
    -And one time my fiance, and all of his friends and I were all at our local bar, its karaoke night and he busts out with all of his friends in TopGun manner, the nthe song ended and he proposed....I love that movie! But I was soooooo embarrassed, ten drunk guys singing how id lost my lovin feelin.....sheesh, but hey, its a great story


    awww....My hubby proposed and then peed my name in the sand :love:

    Now that's romance.

    yep! I was still checkin out the rock to make sure it was real and he said "baby, baby!! Look at this! I peed your name in the sand!" My mom says no matter how the men propose now to my sisters, no man can live up to that:laugh:

    Especially if he did your first, middle & last name! :laugh:
  • mholmes
    mholmes Posts: 949 Member
    I have a few:

    (similar to the windex one....."Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants"
    -Do you know where the veterinarian office is because these pythons are SICK (flexing), I cant believe a guy literally did that to me at a bar! But it was so hialrious I let him buy me a drink.
    -And one time my fiance, and all of his friends and I were all at our local bar, its karaoke night and he busts out with all of his friends in TopGun manner, the nthe song ended and he proposed....I love that movie! But I was soooooo embarrassed, ten drunk guys singing how id lost my lovin feelin.....sheesh, but hey, its a great story


    awww....My hubby proposed and then peed my name in the sand :love:

    Now that's romance.

    yep! I was still checkin out the rock to make sure it was real and he said "baby, baby!! Look at this! I peed your name in the sand!" My mom says no matter how the men propose now to my sisters, no man can live up to that:laugh:

    Especially if he did your first, middle & last name! :laugh:

    1,2,3,4,5.... 21 letters! Nah... 5 - in cursive. Not print, I hear thats painfull for a guy :laugh:
  • jill927
    jill927 Posts: 471 Member

    -And one time my fiance, and all of his friends and I were all at our local bar, its karaoke night and he busts out with all of his friends in TopGun manner "youve lost that loving feelin" , then the song ended and he proposed....I love that movie! But I was soooooo embarrassed, ten drunk guys singing how id lost my lovin feelin.....sheesh, but hey, its a great story

    that's so cute! I love it!
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    :tongue: That sweater is very becoming on you...I'd like to be coming on you as well! :noway:

    EEEEWWWWWWWWW!!!!!! :sick:
  • fatsis
    fatsis Posts: 1,117 Member
    :tongue: That sweater is very becoming on you...I'd like to be coming on you as well! :noway:

    EEEEWWWWWWWWW!!!!!! :sick:
    Yea sweaters are pretty gross. :bigsmile:
  • rosenbss
    rosenbss Posts: 54
    how about coming to my house for pizza and sex....I said no thanks he said whats wrong dont ya like pizza.......ugggggghhhhhh
  • jill927
    jill927 Posts: 471 Member
    how about coming to my house for pizza and sex....I said no thanks he said whats wrong dont ya like pizza.......ugggggghhhhhh


    haha there's not a big enough sausage in that deal for me :wink: hehehehehehehe:laugh:
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
    how about coming to my house for pizza and sex....I said no thanks he said whats wrong dont ya like pizza.......ugggggghhhhhh


    haha there's not a big enough sausage in that deal for me :wink: hehehehehehehe:laugh:


    LMBO
  • Emdicio
    Emdicio Posts: 270 Member
    how about coming to my house for pizza and sex....I said no thanks he said whats wrong dont ya like pizza.......ugggggghhhhhh


    haha there's not a big enough sausage in that deal for me :wink: hehehehehehehe:laugh:

    Kilbasa, or summer sausage? :noway: :laugh:
  • jill927
    jill927 Posts: 471 Member


    Kilbasa, or summer sausage? :noway: :laugh:

    It's not the type of ... sausage ... :wink: but it's how you use it! LOL:tongue:
  • ellelit
    ellelit Posts: 806 Member
    "i like big butts". still some of the best sex i've ever had lol.
  • destiny_206
    destiny_206 Posts: 430 Member
    Thanks for this post. I lov eit it makes me laugh. I wish I knew more to add.

    My boyfriend could not get the windex one. He sat there then said, I dont get it, he thought the pants were reflective somehow and was trying to figure out how widex could do that too pants. See what I put up with. Hes book smart but no common sence.
  • destiny_206
    destiny_206 Posts: 430 Member
    "girls I am the professer of love and schools in session"
    the movie dianosurs
  • Zeii
    Zeii Posts: 89 Member
    Me: "Hey pretty girl, want to go out sometime?"

    Pretentious Elite Diva Girl: "Ahem. No!"

    Me: "Oh, cmon sweetheart, I lowered my standards, why can't you?"

    Best pick up line EVER! :laugh:
  • jill927
    jill927 Posts: 471 Member
    Me: "Hey pretty girl, want to go out sometime?"

    Pretentious Elite Diva Girl: "Ahem. No!"

    Me: "Oh, cmon sweetheart, I lowered my standards, why can't you?"


    oooooooooooooohhh BURN!
  • jill927
    jill927 Posts: 471 Member
    "Girl, you must be Irish, 'cuz my c@&* is Dublin' "
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
    Me: "Hey pretty girl, want to go out sometime?"

    Pretentious Elite Diva Girl: "Ahem. No!"

    Me: "Oh, cmon sweetheart, I lowered my standards, why can't you?"


    oooooooooooooohhh BURN!

    Thank you Jill for appreciating my amazing wit. :bigsmile:
  • jill927
    jill927 Posts: 471 Member

    Thank you Jill for appreciating my amazing wit. :bigsmile:


    No problem Jeremy!
  • mholmes
    mholmes Posts: 949 Member
    "Girl, you must be Irish, 'cuz my c@&* is Dublin' "


    I can't wait to tell my hubby that one!! :laugh:
  • destiny_206
    destiny_206 Posts: 430 Member
    Guy: The CIA is trying to steal my penis I need to find a place to hide it.
    Girl: How can I help?
  • jill927
    jill927 Posts: 471 Member
    Guy: The CIA is trying to steal my penis I need to find a place to hide it.
    Girl: How can I help?

    This sounds like a blond joke... :laugh:
  • KrisKabob
    KrisKabob Posts: 1,250 Member
    This isn't a pick up line but I knew a guy in college that was such a creep. When we would be at pre-bar parties he would be like:

    "Okay, guys, let's get drunk so we can go to the bar and make some ladies uncomfortable".

    WEIRDO!!! I stayed far away from him!
  • Theresa35
    Theresa35 Posts: 1,102
    This isn't a pick up line but I knew a guy in college that was such a creep. When we would be at pre-bar parties he would be like:

    "Okay, guys, let's get drunk so we can go to the bar and make some ladies uncomfortable".

    WEIRDO!!! I stayed far away from him!

    YIKES....that makes me uncomfortable just reading it...EWWWW....:sick:
  • chubbygirl30
    chubbygirl30 Posts: 31
    Do you have (put ethic group here) in you? Would you like some? :sick: at that time I was still a virgin so it took me a minute and then I about threw up.


    Ahaha, so lame, but so funny.

    That's like my favorite shot down retort:



    Me: "Hey pretty girl, want to go out sometime?"

    Pretentious Elite Diva Girl: "Ahem. No!"

    Me: "Oh, cmon sweetheart, I lowered my standards, why can't you?"


    :bigsmile: :laugh: :bigsmile: :laugh: :bigsmile:



    OMG that is really funny!!! love it!!:laugh:
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