Relationships ruin diets !

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kellybellyjellyn
kellybellyjellyn Posts: 83
in Health and Weight Loss
What are your thoughts on this statement.

First off, I don't like the word diet.. Healthy eating lifestyle change :))

Well in my experience, for me.

When I am single I am focusing 100% on creating the best version of me and eating very healthily, making great choices and generally make getting healthier and reaching my goal weight my priority !

Then with this comes higher self esteem, looking better and being more confident, which then often leads to putting myself out there more and meeting someone...

In the past 3 years of my weightloss journey I would say I have had 2 big plateaus.. Both coinciding with a new relationship. And lasting the duration of the relationship ! One year... and not really a plateau as I gained 10lb ! Then lost the 10lb and a bit more... then another relationship of 6 months where I was a bit better and only gained 5lb.

I get more comfortable and my focus shifts from weight loss to the new boyfriend and nights in and pizza, and restaurants and going for ice cream and all that stuff.

I am single now and I am determined to keep on track until I reach my goal weight and not get distracted !!

What have your experiences been like when it comes to relationships/dating and weight loss?

Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this !
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Replies

  • pacsqueen
    pacsqueen Posts: 88
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    Quite honestly, you need to pick guys that have the same goals as you-healthy eating, exercise, etc. My husband is the cook at our house. He now cooks our meals to fit with my dietary changes. He also eats those meals. He may not stick to it exactly as i do, but when he is cooking he takes into consideration those things i dont want to eat anymore.

    Try finding someone who fits your new lifestyle. After all, you dont want to do all this work and then lose ground. Plus it would be a MUCH better journey with someone similar by your side!

    :o)
  • stt43
    stt43 Posts: 487
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    Don't try to base a relationship on or around any particular eating habits.
    A worthwhile relationship can't be hindered by eating choices, and a good diet can be achieved without sacrificing your personal life.
  • stt43
    stt43 Posts: 487
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    Although I've been single for over 3 years, so maybe I should be quiet.
  • KhaoticSoul
    KhaoticSoul Posts: 39
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    Total opposite effect for me, the relationship Im in has seen me go from strength to strength and its my guy who keeps me going even when Im down with myself. Hes taught me how my body functions and why I should pay attention to it. Why its more important to lose BF rather than just weight. What macros and food aims I should have. He makes recipes up for me that help me keep a variety in my diet that is along the paleo lifestyle. He designs my workouts. But the best thing about this is, nothing I do is for HIM. He was happy with me when we met and I was 180kg+, and hes happy for me now. Everything he does is because I want to make the changes in my life, and he supports me every way he knows how.
  • Cat232013
    Cat232013 Posts: 23 Member
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    I would agree mostly - its easier to become lazy when someone keeps telling you that you already look good and I find I go out for dinner more (wine included!)
    But if you can find someone who is supportive and motivates you then win-win!
  • escloflowneCHANGED
    escloflowneCHANGED Posts: 3,038 Member
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    I lost the weight to get the hot chick and then I got the hot chick and lost some motivation :( I'm back at it again though lol
  • kyleekay10
    kyleekay10 Posts: 1,812 Member
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    I don't think relationships "ruin" diets (hate that word) but they can be harder to maintain once you're with someone you are comfortable with. I'm struggling with this a bit now- I was single for a while and got to an all-time low weight, but since I've started casually seeing someone my habits are slipping. I have to remember this is a lifestyle change- NOT a diet- so I'm working on reevaluating my priorities currently.

    It also helps that this guy is willing to be active with me. Just last weekend, he took me to the park and we played baseball/football for 2 hours straight. :love:
  • sammieqt
    sammieqt Posts: 7
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    Nah I don't think relationships ruin diets, in fact it might be the other way around. It's common to be lighter skinnier and more conscious of how one looks when we are single, and it's also common that people gain weight in relationships. But if being healthy is your part of your happiness in being in a relationship, then I agree - gravitate towards those with similar goals. That way you can have both.
  • kellybellyjellyn
    kellybellyjellyn Posts: 83
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    Total opposite effect for me, the relationship Im in has seen me go from strength to strength and its my guy who keeps me going even when Im down with myself. Hes taught me how my body functions and why I should pay attention to it. Why its more important to lose BF rather than just weight. What macros and food aims I should have. He makes recipes up for me that help me keep a variety in my diet that is along the paleo lifestyle. He designs my workouts. But the best thing about this is, nothing I do is for HIM. He was happy with me when we met and I was 180kg+, and hes happy for me now. Everything he does is because I want to make the changes in my life, and he supports me every way he knows how.

    Sounds like you have the perfect guy :) Well done on the weightloss!
  • guroprincess
    guroprincess Posts: 140
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    I really disagree. I'm married and my entire weight loss journey has been while I haven't been single.

    I think there's a certain danger in complacency with yourself once you get into a relationship. This seems to imply that part of the reason you want to get healthy is to attract a mate, which is understandable but not really sustainable long-term.

    For me, being healthy and focusing on myself is always going to be a part of me, whether I'm in a relationship or not.
  • CountryGirl8542
    CountryGirl8542 Posts: 449 Member
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    I don't think relationships (new or old) inhibit weight loss or healthy lifestyles at all! Only you can decide what is put in your body... no one else... and honestly I could not have lost 18lbs without my hubby's support who I might add... feeds his vegetables to the dog under the table while I am not looking lol Only you can chose to be healthy and other's shouldn't influence you to be who you want to be or who you are.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    I don't correlate the two as having any dependence on one another what-so-ever.
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
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    My husband made my diet better. It could be that once I decided to make a lifestyle change with my eating habits, he wanted to support me. Imagine that!

    It also helps that he is the cook and does the grocery shopping, so I have a much smaller window of opportunity for high calorie food than I did before. :happy:
  • KateK8LoseW8
    KateK8LoseW8 Posts: 824 Member
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    My boyfriend has been enormously supportive. He's never had a weight problem so I know it's difficult for him to understand what it's like, but he's doing lots of active things with me, and is always more than happy to eat the healthy foods I have in my apartment. Doesn't bring junk around to my place and always reminds me to bring my healthy food with me when I go to his.

    Granted, I did gain a lot of weight in this relationship, but I think I would have gained weight, relationship or not. I didn't know how to eat properly when I moved out to college, and I gained weight because of it.
  • mmm_drop
    mmm_drop Posts: 1,126 Member
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    I think that regardless of what my partner eats I make my own choices. I used to easily fall into eating like crap all the time if I was out with girlfriends or on a date with someone, etc, but now I just do what I want. If I want to make healthy choices, I do. If I don't, then I don't.

    I guess now I'm just in a place where what others choose no longer affects me and being out and social is just a part of life so I work it into my calorie goals, etc.
  • kariplz
    kariplz Posts: 41 Member
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    I agree with you and have similar experiences. I was losing on MFP starting I think in January 2012 and lost 24 lbs and got into a relationship in June and from there on, I found myself not going to gym anymore. My free time that I had for gym and cooking and prepping were now spent with my bf.

    That aside, my relationship just ended a week ago and I'm now back in trying to lose additional weight plus the 10 lbs I gained during the short relationship. I feel like in a way it helps me gain control of my life and have another focus besides my failed relationship.

    I know this is a horrible way to think because I should always put myself and my happiness first and should never have give up on my goals but sometimes it's nice to just be happy and forget about the additional stress and obsessing over your food and need of losing weight and just go with flow and have a good time with your significant other.
  • GuybrushThreepw00d
    GuybrushThreepw00d Posts: 784 Member
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    you need to be consciously bulking and cutting, and just go for relationships when your're bulking :drinker:
  • MissKalhan
    MissKalhan Posts: 2,282 Member
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    In my opinion it doesn't matter if you're in a relationship or not.
    While I was single I put my heart and soul into working out, changing myself for the better. My priorities changed who I am and what I looked for in a relationship. I can't be with someone who isn't active and isn't driven by goals. My boyfriend is highly active; plays hockey 5 days a week, lifts weights with me, does races with me (We originally started talking because he was doing the Spartan race on the same day and time slot as me), goes rock climbing and does new things with me. Although his metabolism is freaking insane compared to mine (he's trying to add mass right now, 5000 calories a day if he doesn't workout) he eats very healthy and whatever I cook.

    Regardless if you're single or not, you make the concious decision to keep your life style :)
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    How I eat right now, as a single woman, is how I would eat in a relationship. If I were on a date, I'm going to order exactly what I order if I were out with friends or relatives or co-workers or whatever. And if he thinks the way I eat is weird, then it's probably best that we don't ever get to "relationship" status anyway.
  • kellybellyjellyn
    kellybellyjellyn Posts: 83
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    Yep i agree !!! It's not the relationship that ruins it maybe shouldn't have phrased it like that, more being happier in yourself you let your good habits slide, exactly this.

    It's not the other half that forces the food down my throat.. though I actually did go out with a self confessed "feeder" for a long time years ago ! But I am responsible for my own choices so the problem is more with me and being comfortable and losing motivation... getting too relaxed !

    It's something i'm definitely more wise of now and i'm going to try not slip off track in possible future relationships, cause I can see a serious pattern !

    So for now i'm loving being single.

    And hopefully next love interest will be better at motivating me or giving me sly nudges when I suggest unhealthy choices, or remind me of my goals.

    I need to get better at balancing life !

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