Article: What no one tells you about losing lots weight

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I've shed a lot of weight from my body. But I've also shed and worked through a lot of emotional issues. If I can't look in the mirror and be proud and accepting of myself, I'm not sure how I can ever fit well into the world or be happy. So, I have to work through ways to be able to forgive and like myself, that's part of the journey for me.

I think there are many people who solely focus on losing pounds... and those pounds were a symptom of something else going on inside them. There has to be some emotional turmoil and stress inside that allow us to get to be morbidly obese on the outside. Losing the weight is not the total solution, it's just a relief from the exterior symptoms.

Today, for the first time, I wore a sleeveless shirt to the gym. I have bat wings, but I also have muscles. I have been really self conscious of my upper arms and always have worn sleeves that cover them. But finally I just said to hell with it. I am OK with it. If someone else isn't, tough. My arms are my arms, they are part of me. I have to be OK with them.

It's a start.

Bump to read later. Thank you OP!

For me, this article was a little terrifying. I expect to have loose skin, but I guess I didn't expect it to be so extreme. I'm almost 24, but I started out at 343, and I've been overweight my whole life. Now I'm trying to lose it, and while I'm excited to see what I'll look like when the weight comes off, it's terrifying to think that I might be at a healthy weight for the first time ever but still feel incredibly self conscious with my partner.

I know that the health benefits later on will be good, and knowing there will be loose skin wouldn't/won't make me stop, but it's a little disheartening. Hopefully losing slowly and strength training will help to combat loose skin to some degree.

Saved to check out at home.

In to read later.

Also, I'm 70 pounds from my highest ever. The back and forth (yo yoing, mostly from having babies while working on losing) has taken it's toll. I have the extremely low lying belly. My tummy of loose skin hangs in certain positions. If I'm not wearing the right clothes, my saggy skin slaps my thighs. It's hard emotionally but I remind myself that I am counting calories and exercising for a healthier me.

Thankfully my wonderful husband sees my beauty no matter what.

On one hand I really commend her for what she's trying to do here. To highlight how the human body CAN potentially look after losing a ton of weight. And kudos for NY Mag for attempting to shed light on the often not-so-pretty psychological affects of losing weight.

But here is the thing. This is not the full story.

The woman in the photos, while significantly smaller, isn't by any means lean (despite NY Mag wrongly declaring her as "very lean"). Even with the sagging, stretched skin she still has an incredibly high bodyfat percent. A lot of what she's presenting as her "after" or "goal" body is the perfect portrait of somebody who went a great distance, but didn't finish the race (at least to the extent of getting as lean as possible). If she, or anyone, chooses to not get truly lean, I respect that, but don't leave people with the impression that this after is the full story.

It also impresses home the idea that many obese and very overweight people are totally warped about "goal weight". Yes it's an accomplishment to post a big number, like 100 lbs lost, or losing half your weight, but the truth is that your goal should be adjustable. You must get it into your mind that you just might need to do further fat loss, or serious muscle rebuilding, even after you've reached your scale goal. The woman in this piece is 166 lbs, and could have easily lost so much LMB that she could cut down dozens of pounds before her body is truly lean. This is one of the reasons why it would be far, far better for us all to start judging weight loss by bodyfat percentage loss and not just scale loss. You can lose a ton on the scale and still be left with a very high bodyfat to LBM ratio. And lots of seemingly "loose" skin is actually drooping and sagging because it's filled with a good deal of adipose tissue that has become more disconnected, which in turn drags down already stretched skin.

Tell the story that people who were obese might not completely taut, tight, smooth bodies when they reach true leanness. But my God, also don't show after photos of people who are still carrying a significant amount of fat, and try and pass this off as a lean reality.

want to read this when I am home...so many comments.

Seeing the photos of her crying was the worst part. I hope in time she learns to love herself.

I didn't read the entire article, but just some thoughts on my mind.

1. My highest weight was 280lbs the day I delivered twins. When I decided enough was enough and I was going to lose weight, I thought this would fix all my problems -- mainly man problems my whole life. I figured this was it, and life would be perfect. HAHA little did I know, I had NO IDEA what I was about to uncover under the surface. Weight had nothing to do with it. I lacked so much internally - self esteem, self confidence, self worth. The tears I shed working thru it all was unreal.

2. I have been VERY active with cardio and weights since my journey begin, I have done pretty well, but I have a lot of saggy skin in my stomach and it isn't going away. Was it because I lost more than 120 lbs? sure it plays a role, but I did have twins (full term at that) and I am sure a lot of that issue also comes from them. Will losing more weight fix it? maybe a little but that picture they showed on the website (could only see the one) is what my stomach looks like, and I have an apron of skin hanging down at 160 ish lbs. It's gross. I have chosen to get surgery to fix it.

3. I think genetics plays a role, I don't think anyone can bank their outcome on someone else's experience. I know women who weigh more than me but look a lot thinner. It's the way we are built, where we carry our weight, etc.

At the end of the day I would rather be healthier to live a longer life with no chronic diseases than be worried about having extra skin before I start my weight loss journey.

Rambling now.

Julia's website and work is fascinating for me, on several levels. Yes, she did lose 160lbs in a relatively short period of time but that doesn't detract from the basic points being discussed around self-perception and weight loss. At the end of the day, a lot of the failures of the flesh do require perception adjustments - but I'm curious - how many people would likely give up without some ideal driving force?

I hate that here I am, at 47, and for almost 15 years I led a very sedentary life - even if I never became morbidly obese, but letting go for so long means that today my potential is just so much less. This does reduce for me the drive to excel to a minor degree and I readjust, almost daily, to address what I hope are still more realistic objectives. Well, if you listen to the people around me, they think I'm crazy.

I'm troubled by the discussion of "realistic-expectations" because, as valuable as it might seem to help someone prepare and address for the end result it is also the "thousand deaths by paper cuts" of not striving for an ideal. Yes, I know I won't reach all the Everests of my mind, and that perhaps now each is a dirty, over-visited, common place but, dammit, I'm going to try and enjoy my journey there.

When we look at her "travelogue" of pictures on her "journey" despite the destination being more the back-alleys of Calcutta versus the expected Taj Mahal she seems to (mostly) have a great time on the trip - and dress like a little girl playing princess quite a few times. I think part of that is lost when we only consider the end result of loose skin, I saw the up thread discussion of the health benefits, and capabilities. Add to this that each day is a resetting of goals and expectations and self-appreciation.

Perhaps, I don't know, it just takes time to have more perspective of who and what you are becoming - whether you go fast or slow.

Wow. You nailed it. I wanted to say so much more on this thread when I commented earlier, but couldn't find the words. The part I bolded, I find particularly striking. I was troubled too, because I don't find having 'realistic expectations' very motivating, quite the opposite. I need to strive for the ideal, even if it is perhaps unattainable. I think most people like to dream big, and why not? There's no finish line anyway. :drinker:

You make a good point there is no finish line, but maybe the way I see it is someone coming at weight loss thinking they are going to have a perfect body what happens when those expectations are not met?

You can strive to have a better body, and maybe one can improve it just through exercise alone (when massive amounts of weight are lost) and the luck of the draw with good genetics. Your goal in life should always be to better yourself .

I guess since my mindset has always been all are nothing if I dont weigh X pounds then I'm not good enough. By saying you know if my blood pressure is great and I have swinging bat arms I've still reached perfection and for me acceptance starts change.

Just my thought, but of course big dreams come from big change.

Maybe it comes down to knowing what your personal reactions to not having expectations met will be.

Julia's website and work is fascinating for me, on several levels. Yes, she did lose 160lbs in a relatively short period of time but that doesn't detract from the basic points being discussed around self-perception and weight loss. At the end of the day, a lot of the failures of the flesh do require perception adjustments - but I'm curious - how many people would likely give up without some ideal driving force?

I hate that here I am, at 47, and for almost 15 years I led a very sedentary life - even if I never became morbidly obese, but letting go for so long means that today my potential is just so much less. This does reduce for me the drive to excel to a minor degree and I readjust, almost daily, to address what I hope are still more realistic objectives. Well, if you listen to the people around me, they think I'm crazy.

I'm troubled by the discussion of "realistic-expectations" because, as valuable as it might seem to help someone prepare and address for the end result it is also the "thousand deaths by paper cuts" of not striving for an ideal. Yes, I know I won't reach all the Everests of my mind, and that perhaps now each is a dirty, over-visited, common place but, dammit, I'm going to try and enjoy my journey there.

When we look at her "travelogue" of pictures on her "journey" despite the destination being more the back-alleys of Calcutta versus the expected Taj Mahal she seems to (mostly) have a great time on the trip - and dress like a little girl playing princess quite a few times. I think part of that is lost when we only consider the end result of loose skin, I saw the up thread discussion of the health benefits, and capabilities. Add to this that each day is a resetting of goals and expectations and self-appreciation.

Perhaps, I don't know, it just takes time to have more perspective of who and what you are becoming - whether you go fast or slow.

Wow. You nailed it. I wanted to say so much more on this thread when I commented earlier, but couldn't find the words. The part I bolded, I find particularly striking. I was troubled too, because I don't find having 'realistic expectations' very motivating, quite the opposite. I need to strive for the ideal, even if it is perhaps unattainable. I think most people like to dream big, and why not? There's no finish line anyway. :drinker:

You make a good point there is no finish line, but maybe the way I see it is someone coming at weight loss thinking they are going to have a perfect body what happens when those expectations are not met?

You can strive to have a better body, and maybe one can improve it just through exercise alone (when massive amounts of weight are lost) and the luck of the draw with good genetics. Your goal in life should always be to better yourself .

I guess since my mindset has always been all are nothing if I dont weigh X pounds then I'm not good enough, and by saying you know if my blood pressure is great and I have swinging bat arms I've still reached perfection and for me acceptance starts change.

Just my thought, but of course big dreams come from big change.

While I never thought my body would be perfect, I didn't realize how bad mine would be. At 160 lbs I didn't think I'd have to tuck my gut into my pants.... like tuck it in, it's not normal. I'm sure this contributes to my messed up body image.

I thought she looked beautiful.

I think most people feel this way, and aren't nearly as put off by the appearance of her loose skin as she is herself. Which is something we should all keep in mind—we are always much more critical of ourselves than we would ever be of anyone else. And others are never as critical of us as we are of ourselves. So maybe do unto oneself as you would do unto others? :flowerforyou:

Agreed. I found that very thing when I was looking through www.mybodygallery.com for the first time. There were all these women at different sizes and whereas I thought I had looked horrible at a certain weight(s), they looked beautiful to me at those same weights.

I dropped 45lbs at the end of high school and my body is a train wreck. No crash diets or anything extreme, just started working part time, moving more, eating less rubbish. It happens. Loved her nude photoset, it spoke volumes to me. sometimes I find myself wondering if I really want to lose more weight and get more saggy stretched skin, or if where I am is an ok medium.