People telling you that you're fat?

When I was @ my heaviest no one ever called me fat. Since I've lost the weight and gained some confidence I bought my self some two piece bathing suits that I recently wore on vacation. When I got the pictures back my MIL felt the need to tell me my suit made me look fat. Very hurtful and discouraging. So IMHO keep your negative fat comments to yourself.

I know everyone was trying to be nice, but I really wish someone had told me before now. I feel like I was a little in denial about my size and 'cause I wasn't really unhealthy looking, it took me a long time to realise that I could stand to lose a bit.

I think having now lost the weight you're wishing you'd done it sooner... which is understandable.

i don't think most people would respond positively if one of their friends/family took them aside and told them that they were fat - however well intentioned. Although i do recall reading that's what prompted Sidesteel's fitness regime.

As others have commented, we pretty much know it.

That being said, I would never personally say that to anyone. It is cruel, and intentional or not, hurts to hear, as generally it is not meant as a compliment.

We, as a society, should learn acceptance of what we may think of as undesirable attributes about appearance. There are a lot of people worth getting to know that may not appear to have what is considered, "acceptable packaging". May be a surprise to get to know the "inner" person and many times, very worthwhile.

First: I think it's inappropriate to comment on someone else's appearance in any way, past or present. I recently received the comment "Wow, your hair has really turned gray!" Rude. (I'm uncomfortable even if someone tells me I look nice, but that's just neurotic me.)

Second: Who asks someone if they look fat? If you have to ask, you probably know the answer already. And you'd have to know that the question will make the other person uncomfortable. It's just inconsiderate.

I have been more hurt by people calling me 'fat' than by my close friends and loved ones being honest when I would say something about my figure (I would mention a desire to lose weight and instead of sugar-coating it, a couple of people have said things like, "But you don't have as much to lose as you think you do," or "You're not as big as you think you are," or "You hold the weight pretty well for being so petite, but I know you want to get to a healthier BMI so you can accomplish other non-weight related goals," or if I mention feeling heavier in one area, someone will correct me, "You didn't hold as much weight in your arms/bottom/stomach/face before you started those medications, I don't really see you holding extra weight in your legs," etc). I gained my weight on antidepressants over the course of 3-4 years, so I will hear a lot of "Before the meds" instead of "Before you gained all of that weight." I appreciate it more than dishonesty because they are not people who barely know me or strangers and they aren't being cruel or treating me like I don't know I'm overweight. They only say something when I initiate the conversation and I never get unsolicited advice like, "Are you sure you should be eating that on your diet?"

But a stranger looking at me weird and/or saying something cruel about my weight has always stung. They don't know me! They don't know that being "fat" means I'm alive, that I survived a bad time without taking my own life! They just want to hurt me and knowing that makes it hurt even more because it's like I don't have any legitimate feelings.

And that was my wake up call for him, I did not want him going thru what I did so I took it upon myself to rid the house of junk foods and start cooking him healthier meals and push fresh fruits & vegetables in place of chips and donuts and within 1 1/2 month he has transformed into a healthy young boy without even realizes he was dieting - He is so proud when he takes his shirt off and looks in the mirror. He says that kids are treating him differently this year - they are getting nicer , He says maybe thats what growing up does to bully`s ? ``Makes them nicer`` I am so happy for him.

puts a smile on my face.

My wife and I were in Atlantic City a few months ago and as we were getting off the elevator an older man was coming in. I was carrying a rather large fountain soda and as he passed us he said "Big boy with his soda". I laughed the entire day at that. Just the way he said it was so matter of fact. I thought it was hilarious. meh, it did get me thinking though.

This made me laugh. Old people do not give a crap what they say.

One time I had went and picked up groceries for my grandma. I had forgotten to pick up her newspaper. She called my mom and told her "That FAT and forgetful Diann forgot my newspaper" We'll still laugh about that one today. I really enjoyed the alliteration.