How many MFP friends can you effectively support?
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I have a bunch on my friends list and tend to have about 20 or so that I really support because I have gotten to know them, and you can see by there postings that they are super dedicated. they are also usually the ones that support me as well I have a lot on my list that never post anything, but yet they are on there everyday still you do your best
This. :drinker:0 -
I guess I think support comes in different forms? I don't know how many friends I have on here. I don't comment on each one, each day, but try to notice things and comment on them. I've also had folks contact me to connect who said they wanted to see how I ate and worked out. I've done that with folks myself. Learned from their efforts. To me that's support as well.0
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This question is so weird to me. Do you ever wonder how many Facebook friends you can "support"? That's not the point of having MFP friends to me. I want to see what my friends are up to, follow their shenanigans, read their rants and raves... the point for me is to know there are a bunch of people out there who may not roll their eyes and barf a little when I talk about my latest PR or my caloric intake. Some people I friend because they are awesome and I want to see what they are up to, even though we really don't interact. Some people friend me to expand their network of runners, lifters, Jersey girls, attorneys, whatever they want on their news feed. It's all good.
And I really don't get the defriending for low activity, unless you are in the 300 range and actually need to make room on your list. How does it harm me to have someone sitting there on my friend list, taking up zero space on my news feed because they have no activity? It doesn't. And then sometimes they come back, and I've been thanked for not dropping them during the hardships that kept them away from MFP.0 -
I'm at 39 or so, I don't find it too hard, as long as the person is relatively active. I'm on everyday though too.0
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A couple if they eat small and don't mind sharing a bed.
:laugh:0 -
I don't have any friends. I'm not here for support or to form relationships. Friends just clutter up my newsfeed. Being alone works for me.0
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Not everyone needs a customized response I'm perfectly okay receiving the occasional "yay you!". I like having people to talk to but their words of encouragement or lack thereof are not what motivate me. If a person can't do something without a herd of cheerleaders then that person is going wrong somewhere.0
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None. I expect my friends to be able to support themselves. However, I gladly celebrate any victories they have and offer kind words of encouragement when they are struggling.
But the type that whine about not getting enough support are typically not friend material to begin with.0 -
This question is so weird to me. Do you ever wonder how many Facebook friends you can "support"? That's not the point of having MFP friends to me. I want to see what my friends are up to, follow their shenanigans, read their rants and raves... the point for me is to know there are a bunch of people out there who may not roll their eyes and barf a little when I talk about my latest PR or my caloric intake. Some people I friend because they are awesome and I want to see what they are up to, even though we really don't interact. Some people friend me to expand their network of runners, lifters, Jersey girls, attorneys, whatever they want on their news feed. It's all good.
And I really don't get the defriending for low activity, unless you are in the 300 range and actually need to make room on your list. How does it harm me to have someone sitting there on my friend list, taking up zero space on my news feed because they have no activity? It doesn't. And then sometimes they come back, and I've been thanked for not dropping them during the hardships that kept them away from MFP.
This is pretty much where I'm at. While I appreciate that we have, to some degree, the common goals of weight loss / greater health, I don't expect my pals to babysit me. Nor should they realistically expect that from me, because I guarantee I don't have that to give.
But when I have a chance to be here, I like to scroll through my feed and "catch up," even if that only means browsing. I do appreciate (really!) all of the encouragement, especially from people who are positive and have a sense of both humor and balance (as defined by my own albeit questionable guidelines). However, I don't take a tally of who did or didn't comment that day. I know as well as anyone that some days it's just not in the cards...it's a challenge to just schedule breathing, let alone a "Wtg!"
Likewise, I don't always comment on each diary closure or period of exercise, but if I have a bit of extra time, I will. Or if something just jumps out at me about their day. Or if it seems that the person does have a struggle or concern pressing more on them at that time. I do want to be supportive, for sure.
It's different for everyone, I guess, in terms of need, expectation, availability, desire, approach, etc. But for me, I am just as happy to read about the shenanigans of someone's kid or whatever as to have them comment on my diary. I know that when it comes down to it and I do want to discuss a fitness related issue or compare a recipe or lament jumping off of a calorie cliff for a day (well, there isn't much lamenting lol), at least some of them will be available, as I hope to be for them.
I'll admit that I do have a handful of "favorite" friends that I know I'll hear from more often or that will always have some activity posted that is particularly of interest. I think this is normal, too. Good thing I only have one kid. Ha!
I guess each of us needs to evaluate what works for us in this type of medium. If you are strictly about fitness, that's absolutely fine. If you prefer daily contact with each of your friends and can find like-minded individuals, then you should. I enjoy my "friends" here and I find them encouraging...and I hope I offer them the same. Just not every day.
ETA: I did deactivate a couple of people following their respective periods of inactivity. Frankly, I felt terrible about and would do it differently today. Like you say, in my case, what does it hurt? I have plenty of room and if they decide to come back following whatever struggles they've had, then great! Who am I to judge?0 -
After joining just hours ago, exercising, eating, logging, and reading post, I TOTALLY understand what you are saying. MFP seems to be more effective for inspiration, congrats, etc with fewer friends. Otherwise it's just one more thing for me to worry about and not focusing on core "friends" and myself, which then helps my family. I'm glad I read your post to confirm my gut was right. Whew! Now, a few minutes later, I read other responses...they make sense too. Guess I'll just not input and focus on what I can. Catching onto this MFP.0
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I have 47 now and its getting to be too much. I delete people that don't comment, don't log in, post dozens of annoying/complaining messages, etc, and I usually only get 1-2 new friends at a time so that I have a chance to get to know them. My friend list has been very slowly increasing.
I got a few more, then had a couple of friends change their usernames and a bunch of people change their pics and... I'm starting to get confused. It would be so much easier if people kept the same pic. I understand why people don't, but the visual reminder helps.0 -
I enjoy making connections with people who have similar goals as me which I guess is how I keep my friends list down, although I recently had to delete some people because they havent logged in months, I try to reach out a couple of times first because I don't like to see people give up especially if we have shared conversations about our goals before with each other. I get very busy as well but I try my best to follow everyone and be honest in my comments, if I comment I mean whatever it is I say, I really am rooting for you, I enjoy seeing other peoples progress and sharing stories, it's motivating and fun!0
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I have quite a few friends (over 100). I support those that I see active which aren't very many, but I don't comment on every single update - and I don't expect my friends to comment on every little thing either. I see the same people every day in my feed actually updating, and it's the same people that support me back, some are just...there. I feel like some people will add other on here because of something they said in a forum or advice that was offered directly that helped that person so they want to connect to stay inspired. I do try to delete people that don't log in after 10 days or so because I don't want to bother having a big friend list with mostly inactive people.0
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I guess it depends on what type of support they need? I don't know that there is a perfect answer to it. I have a little over 100, some of them post quite often, I comment on their statuses, they comment on mine, we support each other. I do not comment on diaries unless I happen to check one and find they have yummy foods, because I don't have time to read through every single persons diary for the day. I try to post on peoples weight loss more so than anything because it energizes me when people tell me good job
Many of the friends I have are people that are in the same boat (weight to lose) so I don't mind having extra friends. Do I ever delete people? Sure, some deactivate their accounts, some don't log for over 3 or more months. Those I figure, they will come back when they are ready and honestly probably won't remember me anyway.0 -
Hi Everyone!!0
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This question is so weird to me. Do you ever wonder how many Facebook friends you can "support"? That's not the point of having MFP friends to me. I want to see what my friends are up to, follow their shenanigans, read their rants and raves... the point for me is to know there are a bunch of people out there who may not roll their eyes and barf a little when I talk about my latest PR or my caloric intake. Some people I friend because they are awesome and I want to see what they are up to, even though we really don't interact. Some people friend me to expand their network of runners, lifters, Jersey girls, attorneys, whatever they want on their news feed. It's all good.
And I really don't get the defriending for low activity, unless you are in the 300 range and actually need to make room on your list. How does it harm me to have someone sitting there on my friend list, taking up zero space on my news feed because they have no activity? It doesn't. And then sometimes they come back, and I've been thanked for not dropping them during the hardships that kept them away from MFP.
Exactly! And while I may not interact with everyone on my FL, I often enjoy reading various points of view on the threads and posts. I only delete those people that my gut tells me are clearly not in my corner and make room for others who may be. I don't want or need to be patted on the back constantly, or advised daily. But if I'm always supporting a person who never gives me the time of day, delete is in order.0 -
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I don't have that many friends here yet, but as someone just starting out, right now the most important part of the "friends" aspect of mfp is seeing the grind of other people who are experiencing the same things that I'm going through. Especially folks like me who are trying to lose 100+ pounds.
How do you define "effectively support"? It's not just the relationships and one-on-one support that can be effective. For me, seeing a bunch of statuses in my feed where people are meeting their goals, and doing the exercises, is immeasurably inspiring. Every time I see another one of my friends complete their diary under their goal, or a post that they've exercised or lost another pound or two, it helps keep me in check and lets me know that that I can do it too. Plus, I feel guilty every time I complete my diary and don't see the words "and was under his calorie goal" - I know that all of my friends can see that too. And believe me, it's effective - without that exposure to my friends, and being able to see my friends successes/failures, I know that I wouldn't be logging as carefully as I am, and would be eating a lot more.0 -
200 is my limit. At 201, things completely fall apart.0
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A couple if they eat small and don't mind sharing a bed.
Lol, funny!:laugh:0 -
Just like IRL friends they mosey into and out of my life via my newsfeed. I am able to remember people in general and the usernames are the key for me rather than the picture. That might be what makes it easier. For someone who is solely focused on the profile pic avatar which is subject to change that might be harder to keep them straight. It would be like if you were trying to keep track of a bunch of coworkers who's hairstyles and faces changed drastically then the best way to keep them straight would be by desk. That's what usernames are to me. Thank goodness I can read.
There are some friends who are just more vocal on my wall or their newsfeed than others at the time I am. Naturally like a face you pass in the HS hallways those are going to make their way into my life easier than someone on a different schedule like a person walking the other side of campus would. I welcome anyone onto my FL because they may need something I can offer with my open diary and very verbal online persona. If they don't want or need that or if my support is insufficient they are free to delete me. Most personalities that are drawn to me don't need their hand held anyways so like attracts like I guess. We just have fun and it seems not to be insufficient for most people.
Short answer to your question it depends on the person and their idea of support.0 -
:grumble:Need to work on your endurance.0
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Some of the responses were so adorably endearing, that I am having a very hard time, not making a nuisance out of my self and friending some of you, because you made me laugh. Good luck on the friend thing everyone.0
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I have quite a few friends on my friends list and not all of them log on or comment everyday. I can completely understand that as we all have lives outside of mfp. Those who do log daily I try to respond to them and out of those I have a handful that I really respond too and have gotten to know. Some have questions about the whole fitness lifestyle journey and some like myself like to chat sometimes. We like to joke around and it makes this all not soo blah mundane and makes it a little more enjoyable. To each their own and those that like the solitary ways and it works for them then more power to them. I can also understand those who want a small friends list. Like I said to each their own and what works for them.:flowerforyou:0
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I had a lot friends on my MFP list and I try to offer support to all who log in. I started deleting those who do not log in and are not family or where not friends before MFP. I see people with more that a hundred friends. How can you support that many people? How do you keep up with their goals and offer meaningful comments on diet and exercise?
I don't usually. There are a few people who I interact with a lot, but generally if people want my input they ask on my wall or via PM.
I hardly ever look at diaries (I think that I look when I'm hungry. LOL). When I have downtime, I go through my TL and reply to ppl. I reply to everyone or go to their wall at least once a wk and I have over 400 ppl on my FL. I generally accept all FR. I don't expect a reply from everyone each day. Some people are busy.Thank goodness I can read.0 -
I must be strange and unusual. I am motivated by serving other people. I really get a kick in the pants when I make a difference in someone's day. I usually read everyone's diary, including trying to figure out their dinner based on the whole food entries. Maybe I take it too seriously.0
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same here. I deleted about 10 people because they weren't active for months to a year.0
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Some may be part of a bigger training group, like myself. I mainly speak to everyone on my friends list here, in our private group on facebook. We look at each others diaries, offer support, kick each others butts when we need to and help each other along the way. It's great to interact with everyone.0
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I don't turn down friend requests and always try to comment when Pals post. Keeps people motivated. Delete ones who haven't been on in along time....
---but i tend to delete people after inactive for 5 days.. and I dont actively look for people... but I just started back on here from a break so adding people again until I get to around 80 then im done.0 -
About 100,but I've been on here for a while.I usually delete people who haven't logged in for a month.0
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