Only we know what its like.
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It's funny how many friends can turn out to be haters when they see you trying to better yourself. I was shocked to see how many of mine were.
so...F em :-D0 -
After my first weeks weight in and a loss of 4lb's i was happy to tell my close friends and family the good news. To my surprise only one person said well done the other comments were, " oh right lets see how long it lasts" and " really it's keeping it of that counts" and other negatives. The only person to really say well done see the hard work does pay off and good luck for the next 7 days was someone that is trying to lose weight as well.
Has anyone else come across this? I have decided to not say anything to them in future and wait for the "Have you lost weight" comment.
Iain (happy).
Yep! Sure have. two years ago I did an intense 90 day fitness program with daily work outs, no processed foods, no salt and no booze. The program was done as a group, which really helped because you can always support each other. One of the things the group leader warned about was that you will be surprised by the people who will support you and the people who won't. He was totally right. I work in an office that is 90% men and I am the only female in a leadership position. The rest of the women are admin staff. I really thought I would get support from the ladies and that the men would take it less seriously. It was the complete opposite. The guys were the ones that threw the most support behind me. Some of them even did the workouts with me or offered to do the diet portion with me. The guys stopped bringing fatty snacks into the office and started bring fruits and nuts instead. If they did get a cake for someone's birthday, I got a cup of nice sliced fruit or something. The girls in the office weren't non-supportive but they weren't supportive either. There were a few "just one won't hurt you" about treats and such but mostly as the weigh fell off not ONE of the women said anything! I also found that my friends outside of work were 50/50 on being supportive. The friends that were the least supportive were the ones that needed to change their own habits or address their own weight issues. I stopped getting invited out for dinners and to social gatherings because it made others uncomfortable that I wasn't drinking while they were. A lot of people said "see you in 90 days when you can have fun again".
It hurt a little that I didn't have their support but other members in the fitness group were experiencing the same things so I knew it wasn't just me. The group leader said that most people that ere un-supportive are people who don't want to have to take a look at themselves or their own habits. I found this to be very true and somehow knowing it's about them and not about you helped me.
It's your health. You have to do what's right for you. It's nice to have their support but you can do it without them. Keep coming here if you need support and stick to it.0 -
Don't sweat it...people don't really have a clue what to say. So many people are programmed to respond negatively because they've probably failed at the very thing you are succeeding at. Don't let the naysayers derail you.1
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Good evening.... Unless you starved yourself and lost your 4 lbs that way - then yes it is very unhealthy and dangerous, but if you made better choices with your food and exercised, then 4 lbs is an awesome great first week loss. Of course it all depends on your weight. I understand why your friends were negative - because they have seen you do this too many times only to not stick with it. A great predictor of history is past behavior. Really - you have probably let yourself down more than your friends ever will. Don't mention it again to your neg. friends and let them see with their own eyes that you are for real this time. Your friends are your friends! We don't always get to choose the best side of them, we get all of it - the good, the bad and the ugly. In all honesty, I have probably hurt others feelings - even though I would never intentionally. Or you could tell your friends that they can get on board with you to support, encourage and hold you accountable but under no circumstances will their be any negativity. Keep up the great work and you should be standing up with your hands in the air doing the happy dance....:happy:0
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I'm harder on myself than my friends, family or colleagues, This isn't the first time I've been down this road so yes I've heard it. And I simply reply. "Thanks for your support, I find it is healthier to try than not to try" I do limit the people that I tell that I'm on a diet again!. I don't post on facebook. it is like breaking up with the lover (food) complaining about him/her and then taking them back. 0 -
Yeah...haters gon' hate as they say. It's quietened now but I hear ya.0
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Let your success speak for itself. And try not to cut your friends/family too big of a piece of humble pie when they start noticing. High in calories, pie is.
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I just wanna say congrats on the weight loss...and I honestly only told my sis that I was losing weight...my parents freaked out when they saw the huge difference in me in a matter of months they'd been vacationing at a camp and working not far from it..so I hadn't seen them much. They were very shocked and are now some of my biggest supporters. My mom will tell anyone to back off of me if they say anything about my weight...LOL Its great to have the support..but like I said at first I only told one person because I didn't want the nay-sayers saying anything. I had one woman say to me I didn't look any different after I lost 60 lbs. I told her really cause the pants I had on were from when I first started and when I pulled them up off my hips and out from my body I could have fit a small child in with me...LOL About two weeks later she saw me at her car talking to her passenger while she went into the store and panicked because she didn't recognize me....ummm can we say someone was jealous originally and didn't want me to know that I had impressed her?..LOL
Just stick to your goals and don't let anyone bring you down. You can do anything you set your mind to!0 -
Personally I find the best method is to keep your weight loss journey personal and kept within your weight loss support group. Unless someone asks me about it or mentions my weight loss, I don't talk about it.
I got made fun of at home for using a digital scale to "obsessively" weigh all my food, and was told counting calories was unnecessary. I ignored it and just went on with what I was doing, the perceived lack of support stung a bit but you get over it and learn to just do your own thing. As long as it's not infringing upon what they want to do it's all gravy.
Congrats on the loss! :drinker:0 -
Don't worry about anyone else. Your opinion of yourself is the only one that matters. That said, we seek approval from our friends, loved ones, and co-workers so I know how you feel.
I had lost 100 pounds before anyone in my work group said anything, and I didn't talk about it. I assumed eventually they would notice. Wow you look different, have you lost weight? Um Yeah, 318 to 218 I know it hard to tell!?!
At first I was excited to share my knowledge with my brother (400+) and others close to me. The feedback I got was nearly nothing and even a bit of 'he thinks he's better than us'. I know from my experience that until I was ready no amount of encouragement was seen as helpful, in fact it was quite the obvious. ....Ryan, you should really lose some weight....Ya, you should shut you mouth and mind your own business..was how I thought about it back then. So now I just try and be a good example and when they are ready they will come to me and ask questions, as I am sure those around you will do as you continue your success.
Celebrate every day as a gift of life, health, and happiness. The reward is worth the struggle.0 -
Don't worry about anyone else. Your opinion of yourself is the only one that matters. That said, we seek approval from our friends, loved ones, and co-workers so I know how you feel.
Celebrate every day as a gift of life, health, and happiness. The reward is worth the struggle.
THIS!0 -
OK so I'll tell you well done, keep it up. Screw the rest of them0
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After my first weeks weight in and a loss of 4lb's i was happy to tell my close friends and family the good news. To my surprise only one person said well done the other comments were, " oh right lets see how long it lasts" and " really it's keeping it of that counts" and other negatives. The only person to really say well done see the hard work does pay off and good luck for the next 7 days was someone that is trying to lose weight as well.
Has anyone else come across this? I have decided to not say anything to them in future and wait for the "Have you lost weight" comment.
Iain (happy).
Yep! Sure have. two years ago I did an intense 90 day fitness program with daily work outs, no processed foods, no salt and no booze. The program was done as a group, which really helped because you can always support each other. One of the things the group leader warned about was that you will be surprised by the people who will support you and the people who won't. He was totally right. I work in an office that is 90% men and I am the only female in a leadership position. The rest of the women are admin staff. I really thought I would get support from the ladies and that the men would take it less seriously. It was the complete opposite. The guys were the ones that threw the most support behind me. Some of them even did the workouts with me or offered to do the diet portion with me. The guys stopped bringing fatty snacks into the office and started bring fruits and nuts instead. If they did get a cake for someone's birthday, I got a cup of nice sliced fruit or something. The girls in the office weren't non-supportive but they weren't supportive either. There were a few "just one won't hurt you" about treats and such but mostly as the weigh fell off not ONE of the women said anything! I also found that my friends outside of work were 50/50 on being supportive. The friends that were the least supportive were the ones that needed to change their own habits or address their own weight issues. I stopped getting invited out for dinners and to social gatherings because it made others uncomfortable that I wasn't drinking while they were. A lot of people said "see you in 90 days when you can have fun again".
It hurt a little that I didn't have their support but other members in the fitness group were experiencing the same things so I knew it wasn't just me. The group leader said that most people that ere un-supportive are people who don't want to have to take a look at themselves or their own habits. I found this to be very true and somehow knowing it's about them and not about you helped me.
It's your health. You have to do what's right for you. It's nice to have their support but you can do it without them. Keep coming here if you need support and stick to it.
Best answer, hands down. Success shines a light on other's need to change their own habits.0 -
I had decided when I started losing weight I wasn't going to say anything to anybody so I wouldn't hear anything discouraging. It is much better that way. Let people say to you in time, "are you losing weight?", that is very rewarding. I don't report how much I am losing unless someone asks. Having said that, haha, I have lost 61 lbs since Dec 2012.
Good luck on your journey and I am sure you will be very successful.1 -
There is nothing that makes a miserable person more happy than making someone else miserable. Misery does love company...and negative comments are either conscious efforts or unconscious efforts to derail your success. You have to ignore them. Even when they come from someone you love, admire, worship, or otherwise think the world of. They probably don't realize the negative effect they are having on you.
Hell I have a great week if I don't GAIN anything....it's even better when I have a loss, no matter the size. I didn't get extra jumbo overnight, it ain't going away by tomorrow either.
Hang tough, keep to your plan, and when you drop that 100th pound make of list of people to call and invite to kiss your much smaller *kitten*. Yes that is childish but I guarantee it'll make you feel good.1 -
Wow going back over old posts really puts a smile on my face. This thread is one of my first when I started. Just over years have passed and to date I have lost 10 stone and my measurements have dropped massively. I can truely say mfp is to thank for this. To those of you that took the journey with me, Thank you for your support.8
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Wow going back over old posts really puts a smile on my face. This thread is one of my first when I started. Just over years have passed and to date I have lost 10 stone and my measurements have dropped massively. I can truely say mfp is to thank for this. To those of you that took the journey with me, Thank you for your support.
That is cool! Great update!1 -
You’ll find support on here. Great start and don’t let them discourage you. My kids don’t think I can do this. I think I can!! Add me!0
Very nice, 
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