A serious question about humour
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Whoa there... not all women instantly judge a man on their looks. I've always dated the guys that most girls categorized as "nice guys". I don't look for someone who can provide security, or looks a certain way, but most of the time do look for a sense of humor. Mostly because I know they wouldn't be able to put up with me otherwise... busy, high stress life has to have some humor in it for sanity. And the ability to make someone laugh is always a good thing, in my opinion.0
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I've noticed women tend to think the men to whom they are attracted are funny, even when they aren't particularly funny. A different guy could say the exact same thing and not get a response at all, but the one she's attracted to says it and it's just hilarious.
So citing "sense of humor" is almost a tautology. It's basically saying, "I prefer the ones I'm attracted to".
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Going out on a crazy limb here... but propagating the species/survival of the fittest requires a mate that isn't going to kill me before we can reproduce
If he (we) can laugh at the ups and downs in life, both at each other and at the insane little beings we're bringing into the world... well, I figure that ups my odds of passing on those genetics.
Did you read about that lion at the zoo? Lioness must have made some bad joke and he forgot how to laugh.
I didn't hear about the lioness but I assume it didn't end well for her. However this strikes a chord. Maybe from an evolutionary standpoint, if a man, who is traditionally physically stronger than his wife and children, has a sense of humour, he is less likely to beat them to death with his club because of being in a bad mood. Ergo, better humour = more of a chance of having children and surviving to a ripe old age. Makes sense.0 -
I believe I can sum this up with the following:
Women desire someone who can both make them laugh and feel safe...so basically a clown ninja.0 -
while I agree this is overused, I really do look for someone with a good sense of humor. I will probably make them cry if they can't take a joke. either that or they have to be so dumb the sarcasm goes over their heads.0
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I believe I can sum this up with the following:
Women desire someone who can both make them laugh and feel safe...so basically a clown ninja.
that sounds kind of hot, "woah where did my clothes go?" Clown ninja!! you prankster you0 -
Laughter is a stress reliever.
I am a very silly person so that is a quality I looked for in my spouse. Although my husband is way more serious and reseved and he says I make him laugh and bring out the silliness in him. That was a big reason he fell in love with me. So go figure.0 -
I was under the impression that cavemen were hilarious. Have you seen some of those drawings?0
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Because sometimes life really, really freaking sucks but it doesn't suck so bad when you're laughing.
Also, laughter keeps our health up!
Laughter relaxes the whole body. A good, hearty laugh relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes after.
Laughter boosts the immune system. Laughter decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your resistance to disease.
Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain.
Laughter protects the heart. Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow, which can help protect you against a heart attack and other cardiovascular problems.0 -
From personal experience, women seem very anxious in general and it is a fact that laughing relieves stress. An officer in the German army during WW II asked what advantages American soldiers had over them. Humor. He said that the ability to laugh in bad situations relieved stress and lifted moral. It only stands to reason that women, probably on the genetic level, are attracted to a man who can make her laugh because she needs that after a day of dealing with whatever she has been dealing with. Often times ladies, my wife included, can be in a state of total stress and grief over something very important (death of a relative, financial woes, whatever she deems important) and I know that if I make her laugh, I can bring her spirits back up.0
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I am going to have to call bullshlt. Sure, everybody loves a sense of humor and a lot of other traits that are not visibly apparent, but that's not what gets you the first date. Women are attracted to whatever their definition of physical atractiveness is. Men are the same way.
Nope. Not everyone is completely driven by physical attraction.
It's true. If someone makes me laugh, if there's even a small attraction, it always makes that person even more attractive to me.0 -
I think it's really important to be able to laugh when all the bad things happen, because they will. Maybe a little bad, or maybe you'll get a barrage of constant suckage. Either way, if you can laugh at it? You stand a better chance of getting through it.
That, and if you don't have a sense of humor? You may be butt hurt when I lovingly say, "it looks like a penis, only smaller..." Which is a joke between the hubs and me...
(ETA: And it isn't...but it was something we picked up somewhere shortly after we got married, and we still laugh about it today...I just felt like I needed to clarify that.) :laugh:0 -
Because for most women, at least those who HAVE a sense of humor, spending the rest of their life with a man with NO sense of humor would be the most boring, painful, and horrible life EVER!
I dated a rocket scientist, (really, he designed missiles for a living), for about 3 months. I was determined to choose a guy with a higher IQ than my past BFs, and I tried really hard to find a compatible personality beyond the brains, but I just couldn't do it. He had ZERO sense of humor and I had to constantly explain jokes to him.
Super nice guy, and had looks, money, and everything else a girl could ask for, but I just couldn't see myself spending the rest of my life with this man. So I had to let him go.
Hopefully by now, he has found his Amy Farah Fowler!0 -
I am going to have to call bullshlt. Sure, everybody loves a sense of humor and a lot of other traits that are not visibly apparent, but that's not what gets you the first date. Women are attracted to whatever their definition of physical atractiveness is. Men are the same way.
Nope. Not everyone is completely driven by physical attraction.
It's true. If someone makes me laugh, if there's even a small attraction, it always makes that person even more attractive to me.
I agree as well. It is well known that women are much less visual than men are. A great personality can make an ok looking guy, into George Clooney in our minds!0 -
I am going to have to call bullshlt. Sure, everybody loves a sense of humor and a lot of other traits that are not visibly apparent, but that's not what gets you the first date. Women are attracted to whatever their definition of physical atractiveness is. Men are the same way.
I have a hell of a sense of humor, but except for the small percentage of women that are attracted to the "biker" look, they are not interested in me at first glance. It doesn't matter -- I'm married, but, I just had this conversation with my wife. In front of my daughter.
My wife keeps insisting how attracted her friends are to me, but I keep telling her it's because they appreciate the way I treat my wife. She doesn't get that and it irritates her that I just can't agree that her friends find me attractive. On my daughter's advice, I just agree with my wife now and save having the whole conversation.
If you are not already attractive, you may never get to demonstrate your sense of humor or other less visible attributes.
What you are describing here, is how women view men as attractive physically, because of their personality. Your wife's friends DO find you physically attractive NOW, because of how you treat your wife. So you are both correct in this argument.
And it confirms that women are more attracted to a good personality than a pretty face, when they are looking for a long term relationship. A pretty face might get our attention at first, but the personality must be there for it to last.0 -
Aside from the stress relief part, IMHO, humor can also improve intimacy. Just like I have inside jokes with my college buddies from all the great times we've had together, I have the same with Hubby. Sharing silly moments creates memories and helps solidify bonds.
When I'm at work, I have to be fairly serious and am under a lot of stress. But when I'm at home with Hubs (or hanging out with my college buddies), I can relax and be silly and be myself. That's part of the intimacy, being comfortable and loving each other for who we really are.0 -
Because when your old and impotent, we can still have fun together :laugh:
I feel like men who have a sense of humor generally are more mild-mannered, don't stress out as much, are less likely to be control freaks... the list goes on. Marriage can get boring and if you're going to spend your life with someone they better make you laugh!
And I have gone on a lot of dates in my life. With people I found physically just "okay" looking and people I was really physically attracted to. If I generally didn't like their personality, we didn't have a second date. Many of the guys that I thought were just "Okay" ended up seeming more attractive. Yes we are biological creatures and looks are important, but I think less so for women... At least in my case. Looks really just don't matter as much to me.0 -
i'm not sure i would have ever dated if i didn't have my sense of humor.
Sense of humor is like one of those mio water flavor enhancers. it takes something ordinary and not something totally unappealing, but nothing outstanding either and turns it into something you want to have... and you can have as much or as little as the situation warrants.0 -
I don't want someone with a sense of humor. I'm serious 100% of the time and need a man that is exactly the same.
You're joking, right? 0 -
I don't see how I could seriously date someone who didn't make me laugh often. I would get bored and irritated pretty quickly. It's a turn on.0
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There is a difference between attraction and companionship. If you ask who do you want a one night stand with, humor is not likely on the list. If you're talking long term humor is important.
If humor caused sexual attraction we would of heard stories about home Bozo the Clown was getting mad tail.0 -
Because I like to joke around myself. I want someone who can dish it out AND take it. I want someone who's not afraid to play hide and seek in the middle of the grocery store :blushing: or to make funny faces at you while you're eating, so you spray food/drink all over. I suppose I just feel more comfortable around someone I can joke with, than someone who has a straight face all the time, or would find me annoying.0
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I am going to have to call bullshlt. Sure, everybody loves a sense of humor and a lot of other traits that are not visibly apparent, but that's not what gets you the first date. Women are attracted to whatever their definition of physical atractiveness is. Men are the same way.
Nope. Not everyone is completely driven by physical attraction.
Agreed. Have you heard of Ryan Lochte? Gorgeous, but as soon as he speaks it's just... tragic. Physical attractiveness can only take you so far.
To the OP who is using evolution as a means to explain intelligence, looks, etc... I would think humor would sort of be categorized under intelligence. How many truly dumb people out there are also funny? ...and I don't mean uneducated or ill informed... I mean - dumb (well unless it's the: "I'm laughing at you and not with you" type of funny). So intelligence --> Security... meh. Might be a stretch, but that's sort of how I would try to explain it from a "scientific" point of view.0 -
The problem with having a sense of humor is often that the women you use it on aren't in a very good mood.0
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I am going to have to call bullshlt. Sure, everybody loves a sense of humor and a lot of other traits that are not visibly apparent, but that's not what gets you the first date. Women are attracted to whatever their definition of physical atractiveness is. Men are the same way.
I have a hell of a sense of humor, but except for the small percentage of women that are attracted to the "biker" look, they are not interested in me at first glance. It doesn't matter -- I'm married, but, I just had this conversation with my wife. In front of my daughter.
My wife keeps insisting how attracted her friends are to me, but I keep telling her it's because they appreciate the way I treat my wife. She doesn't get that and it irritates her that I just can't agree that her friends find me attractive. On my daughter's advice, I just agree with my wife now and save having the whole conversation.
If you are not already attractive, you may never get to demonstrate your sense of humor or other less visible attributes.
LOL, I must admit I liked your biker look initially even though that is not normally what I look for. But I do love your sense of humor and you have one smart daughter.
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There is a difference between attraction and companionship. If you ask who do you want a one night stand with, humor is not likely on the list. If you're talking long term humor is important.
If humor caused sexual attraction we would of heard stories about home Bozo the Clown was getting mad tail.
What's his face Dane Cook and Carrot Top evidently do, so there must be some truth to that0 -
I don't find George Clooney attractive.Yes. In my experience, all women are looking for a guy with a good sense of humour. A good sense of humour wrapped up in George Clooney.
Failing that a 9 inch sense of humour with good girth and a big head.
"I don't find George Clooney attractive. " I second that!!!0 -
IMO the sense of humor says a lot about a person. I think it's less of "You have to be funny" it's more of "I want someone who finds humor in the same types of things that I find funny"0
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^---this, or pretty close to itBecause with humor you can communicate your feelings without either party being butthurt. Butthurt sucks, from both sides. Butthurt = bad relationships = b'bye "love".0
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