A serious question about humour

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13

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  • adrian_indy
    adrian_indy Posts: 1,444 Member
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    From personal experience, women seem very anxious in general and it is a fact that laughing relieves stress. An officer in the German army during WW II asked what advantages American soldiers had over them. Humor. He said that the ability to laugh in bad situations relieved stress and lifted moral. It only stands to reason that women, probably on the genetic level, are attracted to a man who can make her laugh because she needs that after a day of dealing with whatever she has been dealing with. Often times ladies, my wife included, can be in a state of total stress and grief over something very important (death of a relative, financial woes, whatever she deems important) and I know that if I make her laugh, I can bring her spirits back up.
  • SugarBaby71
    SugarBaby71 Posts: 3,630 Member
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    I am going to have to call bullshlt. Sure, everybody loves a sense of humor and a lot of other traits that are not visibly apparent, but that's not what gets you the first date. Women are attracted to whatever their definition of physical atractiveness is. Men are the same way.

    Nope. Not everyone is completely driven by physical attraction.

    It's true. If someone makes me laugh, if there's even a small attraction, it always makes that person even more attractive to me.
  • juliemouse83
    juliemouse83 Posts: 6,663 Member
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    I think it's really important to be able to laugh when all the bad things happen, because they will. Maybe a little bad, or maybe you'll get a barrage of constant suckage. Either way, if you can laugh at it? You stand a better chance of getting through it.

    That, and if you don't have a sense of humor? You may be butt hurt when I lovingly say, "it looks like a penis, only smaller..." Which is a joke between the hubs and me...

    (ETA: And it isn't...but it was something we picked up somewhere shortly after we got married, and we still laugh about it today...I just felt like I needed to clarify that.) :laugh:
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,650 Member
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    Because for most women, at least those who HAVE a sense of humor, spending the rest of their life with a man with NO sense of humor would be the most boring, painful, and horrible life EVER!

    I dated a rocket scientist, (really, he designed missiles for a living), for about 3 months. I was determined to choose a guy with a higher IQ than my past BFs, and I tried really hard to find a compatible personality beyond the brains, but I just couldn't do it. He had ZERO sense of humor and I had to constantly explain jokes to him.
    Super nice guy, and had looks, money, and everything else a girl could ask for, but I just couldn't see myself spending the rest of my life with this man. So I had to let him go.

    Hopefully by now, he has found his Amy Farah Fowler!
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,650 Member
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    I am going to have to call bullshlt. Sure, everybody loves a sense of humor and a lot of other traits that are not visibly apparent, but that's not what gets you the first date. Women are attracted to whatever their definition of physical atractiveness is. Men are the same way.

    Nope. Not everyone is completely driven by physical attraction.

    It's true. If someone makes me laugh, if there's even a small attraction, it always makes that person even more attractive to me.

    I agree as well. It is well known that women are much less visual than men are. A great personality can make an ok looking guy, into George Clooney in our minds!
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,650 Member
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    I am going to have to call bullshlt. Sure, everybody loves a sense of humor and a lot of other traits that are not visibly apparent, but that's not what gets you the first date. Women are attracted to whatever their definition of physical atractiveness is. Men are the same way.

    I have a hell of a sense of humor, but except for the small percentage of women that are attracted to the "biker" look, they are not interested in me at first glance. It doesn't matter -- I'm married, but, I just had this conversation with my wife. In front of my daughter.

    My wife keeps insisting how attracted her friends are to me, but I keep telling her it's because they appreciate the way I treat my wife. She doesn't get that and it irritates her that I just can't agree that her friends find me attractive. On my daughter's advice, I just agree with my wife now and save having the whole conversation.

    If you are not already attractive, you may never get to demonstrate your sense of humor or other less visible attributes.

    What you are describing here, is how women view men as attractive physically, because of their personality. Your wife's friends DO find you physically attractive NOW, because of how you treat your wife. So you are both correct in this argument.
    And it confirms that women are more attracted to a good personality than a pretty face, when they are looking for a long term relationship. A pretty face might get our attention at first, but the personality must be there for it to last.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    Aside from the stress relief part, IMHO, humor can also improve intimacy. Just like I have inside jokes with my college buddies from all the great times we've had together, I have the same with Hubby. Sharing silly moments creates memories and helps solidify bonds.

    When I'm at work, I have to be fairly serious and am under a lot of stress. But when I'm at home with Hubs (or hanging out with my college buddies), I can relax and be silly and be myself. That's part of the intimacy, being comfortable and loving each other for who we really are.
  • mteague277
    mteague277 Posts: 145 Member
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    Because when your old and impotent, we can still have fun together :laugh:

    I feel like men who have a sense of humor generally are more mild-mannered, don't stress out as much, are less likely to be control freaks... the list goes on. Marriage can get boring and if you're going to spend your life with someone they better make you laugh!

    And I have gone on a lot of dates in my life. With people I found physically just "okay" looking and people I was really physically attracted to. If I generally didn't like their personality, we didn't have a second date. Many of the guys that I thought were just "Okay" ended up seeming more attractive. Yes we are biological creatures and looks are important, but I think less so for women... At least in my case. Looks really just don't matter as much to me.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,780 Member
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    i'm not sure i would have ever dated if i didn't have my sense of humor.

    Sense of humor is like one of those mio water flavor enhancers. it takes something ordinary and not something totally unappealing, but nothing outstanding either and turns it into something you want to have... and you can have as much or as little as the situation warrants.
  • gmthisfeller
    gmthisfeller Posts: 779 Member
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    I don't want someone with a sense of humor. I'm serious 100% of the time and need a man that is exactly the same.

    You're joking, right? :tongue:
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
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    I don't see how I could seriously date someone who didn't make me laugh often. I would get bored and irritated pretty quickly. It's a turn on.
  • Still_Fluffy
    Still_Fluffy Posts: 341 Member
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    There is a difference between attraction and companionship. If you ask who do you want a one night stand with, humor is not likely on the list. If you're talking long term humor is important.

    If humor caused sexual attraction we would of heard stories about home Bozo the Clown was getting mad tail.
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
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    Because I like to joke around myself. I want someone who can dish it out AND take it. I want someone who's not afraid to play hide and seek in the middle of the grocery store :blushing: or to make funny faces at you while you're eating, so you spray food/drink all over. I suppose I just feel more comfortable around someone I can joke with, than someone who has a straight face all the time, or would find me annoying.
  • jamiem1102
    jamiem1102 Posts: 1,196 Member
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    I am going to have to call bullshlt. Sure, everybody loves a sense of humor and a lot of other traits that are not visibly apparent, but that's not what gets you the first date. Women are attracted to whatever their definition of physical atractiveness is. Men are the same way.

    Nope. Not everyone is completely driven by physical attraction.

    Agreed. Have you heard of Ryan Lochte? Gorgeous, but as soon as he speaks it's just... tragic. Physical attractiveness can only take you so far.

    To the OP who is using evolution as a means to explain intelligence, looks, etc... I would think humor would sort of be categorized under intelligence. How many truly dumb people out there are also funny? ...and I don't mean uneducated or ill informed... I mean - dumb (well unless it's the: "I'm laughing at you and not with you" type of funny). So intelligence --> Security... meh. Might be a stretch, but that's sort of how I would try to explain it from a "scientific" point of view.
  • gmthisfeller
    gmthisfeller Posts: 779 Member
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    The problem with having a sense of humor is often that the women you use it on aren't in a very good mood.
  • rileamoyer
    rileamoyer Posts: 2,411 Member
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    I am going to have to call bullshlt. Sure, everybody loves a sense of humor and a lot of other traits that are not visibly apparent, but that's not what gets you the first date. Women are attracted to whatever their definition of physical atractiveness is. Men are the same way.

    I have a hell of a sense of humor, but except for the small percentage of women that are attracted to the "biker" look, they are not interested in me at first glance. It doesn't matter -- I'm married, but, I just had this conversation with my wife. In front of my daughter.

    My wife keeps insisting how attracted her friends are to me, but I keep telling her it's because they appreciate the way I treat my wife. She doesn't get that and it irritates her that I just can't agree that her friends find me attractive. On my daughter's advice, I just agree with my wife now and save having the whole conversation.



    If you are not already attractive, you may never get to demonstrate your sense of humor or other less visible attributes.

    LOL, I must admit I liked your biker look initially even though that is not normally what I look for. But I do love your sense of humor and you have one smart daughter. ;)
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    There is a difference between attraction and companionship. If you ask who do you want a one night stand with, humor is not likely on the list. If you're talking long term humor is important.

    If humor caused sexual attraction we would of heard stories about home Bozo the Clown was getting mad tail.

    What's his face Dane Cook and Carrot Top evidently do, so there must be some truth to that
  • tottie06
    tottie06 Posts: 259 Member
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    Yes. In my experience, all women are looking for a guy with a good sense of humour. A good sense of humour wrapped up in George Clooney.

    Failing that a 9 inch sense of humour with good girth and a big head.
    I don't find George Clooney attractive.

    "I don't find George Clooney attractive. " I second that!!!
  • Routerninja
    Routerninja Posts: 201
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    IMO the sense of humor says a lot about a person. I think it's less of "You have to be funny" it's more of "I want someone who finds humor in the same types of things that I find funny"
  • GadgetGuy2
    GadgetGuy2 Posts: 291 Member
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    Because with humor you can communicate your feelings without either party being butthurt. Butthurt sucks, from both sides. Butthurt = bad relationships = b'bye "love".
    ^---this, or pretty close to it

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