When your boyfriend is super skinny?

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Replies

  • mandeeluvsme
    mandeeluvsme Posts: 28
    Hey girl,
    I love your topic. I always had this on my mind. My bf of two years is 5'9" & I m 5'4". We both weigh the same amount but I am too curvy in the buns & chest. Plus I'm active in sports so I had a little definition in my arms. Most of the time when we are together I don't feel self-conscious about be being bigger looking than him but when my smaller & less curvy girl friends are around I feel like a cow next to him b/c these girls are so cute & petite. I try to remember my bf loves me and he loves my curves. It's hard getting around the fact sometimes a girl will look bigger than her bf/husband but it's only society that tells us its wrong when in reality not all men will be bigger than women. It's only how you feel about yourself that matters & he will love you if you are more confident with being happy curvy.
  • silversociety
    silversociety Posts: 222 Member
    I figure most people have addressed this topic splendidly so not going to offer a response for it.

    However, in regards to your BF's giving you a compliment that you don't view as a compliment. Just say, "Honey, that's not a compliment" and all will be solved. Clearly, he'll say it was or apologize or something, but he'll learn to word his compliments to something that pleases you more in the future.
  • shaynak112
    shaynak112 Posts: 751 Member
    My boyfriend is 5'8" and he weighs about 130 lbs. He's super skinny. I'm 5'1" and weigh more than he does. My legs are bigger than his (not in a good way! lol). He loves being skinny. I like being curvy although I would like to lose a bit of weight. Still, I don't want to be under 130 lbs. I'm probably always going to be heavier than him. It's okay.

    Honestly, at first I found it a bit awkward. But it's fine. I mean, we are both happy in our own bodies. Plus we're both attractive. Aha (we're both a bit conceited?? :P).
  • peleroja
    peleroja Posts: 3,979 Member
    My boyfriend is six foot nothing and 155 lbs (the heaviest he's ever been), and worse, he's got incredible muscle definition. Great abs, super nice arms and shoulders, and a muscular butt. He makes me so self-conscious, haha. When I was at my heaviest (over 140 lbs), I felt awful about how skinny he was. Now, I think about how good we'll look together when I'm down to 110.
  • squatsandlipgloss
    squatsandlipgloss Posts: 595 Member
    First of all!!!!! You don't feel very feminine because your thighs are bigger than his? Girrrrl let me tell you, I'd feel real bad if my thighs and butt were smaller than my boyfriend's!!! I'm so happy to have big thighs hips and butt! My boyfriend is also skinny (working on building muscle), but he loves me for my curves. I hope u can tell your boyfriend you don't like the way he makes those comments sound. He might mean well (my boyfriend tells me I have powerful thighs and its the biggest compliment anyone could give me!!) but you won't know until you talk about it.

    I like the way you think. Communication is everything.

    My husband is taller and larger than I am, and he still calls my legs "powerful" and my butt "big and round," and if he didn't, I'd be upset. They're the only curves I've got, darn it, and I'm working them for all it's worth.

    Woohoo! Let's hear it for the girls with the powerful thighs that can snap a b*tch in half and big round booties! :laugh: Us women should be proud of this!
  • PrettyPearl88
    PrettyPearl88 Posts: 368 Member
    OP, I think overall your bf sounds like a good guy!

    As for me, I refuse to date men who are smaller than me in any way, shape, or form. I know it's superficial, but I don't care. I struggle way too much with my appearance and body image and I just can't handle or deal with a man who's smaller than me. So I refuse to.
  • toaster6
    toaster6 Posts: 703 Member
    Right here. My boyfriend's quite thin. Six feet, about 150-160 with hardly any body fat (last he got it checked it was something like 8%). My hips are definitely bigger than his, maybe my chest too but my waist is smaller than his and he likes all my soft parts. I guess there was never much of a chance of that bothering me though-- growing up, I never saw my dad when he was over 120 pounds and he's around 5'8. Men being thinner than women wasn't all that weird to me.

    ETA: I think if he's 160 and you're only 110, you're quite a bit smaller than he is. He likes your body, and if you like your body then why stress?
  • Mimoki
    Mimoki Posts: 115 Member
    I can fit into my husband loose jeans and they are wicked tight on me. A woman gotta have curves though, don't fret!
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    No I can't say I've tried to lift any ex's or my husband....but WOW girl you can lift 160lbs, go do some weight lifting!!
  • Missjulesdid
    Missjulesdid Posts: 1,444 Member
    uh.. my boyfriend is 150 pounds and 5'6" I'm 5'5" and 276.. when we first started dating I was even bigger at 330 pounds! It's never been a problem for us! For me being larger does not in any way make me feel less feminine.
  • beccadenny
    beccadenny Posts: 1 Member
    Be PROUD of who you are! Who cares whether you are bigger or smaller than your man. I'm 6'00" and 140 pounds dating a major beanpole of 6'3" and ONLY WEIGHING 135. YES HE IS SMALLER THAN ME, but I don't care. :) Just trying to say strut your stuff girly and be confident.

    Much love. :flowerforyou:
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I know this will sound all touchy feely hippieland but there is room for all types of bodies and they're all beautiful!

    But I kind of know what you mean...in a way. When I was in my teens and early 20s I always looked for really BIG guys, like 6'3" or taller and 300+ pounds, because that made me feel small by comparison (it took that much because I was 5'8" and over 200 lb myself).

    When I started dating my husband, 2 years ago, I was a little freaked out that I outweighed him by 40 or so pounds. He is a big guy at 6'2" and about 220 lb. But he's very fit, beautiful legs, flat stomach, etc. I was (and still am) a curvy chubby girl and he was/is extremely attracted to my body. Being able to believe that allowed me to enjoy our bodies so much more! Now I'm a bit smaller than he is, finally, but I don't even notice or care much anymore! My bum is still twice the size of his. Fine with me, and more than fine with him.

    One huge benefit I've found to dating a more healthy and fit man is his high energy level and sex drive. For me that easily outweighs the "I feel small next to you" thing and even if I wasn't with my husband (who still makes me feel small because he's just a bigger taller human) I would be more likely to go for a guy who was genuinely skinny or barely my own height, than a bigger guy with low energy.
  • alsuna
    alsuna Posts: 65 Member
    My bf is more or less the same height as me, and about 5 pounds lighter. My next weight loss goal is to be lighter than him. Kinda sad, but it is my greatest motivation at the moment.
  • bumblebreezy91
    bumblebreezy91 Posts: 520 Member
    Tell him his legs and bum look cute, thin, and tiny, see how he feels about that! :bigsmile:

    Seriously, I think "powerful" to describe legs is really nice! It's a compliment for me and I will frequently describe my legs that way, too! I'm a CNA and I'm in nursing school. I want to be strong and powerful! I don't want to be a twig with a thigh gap I wasn't born to have to look smokin' hot in skinny jeans and thinspo pictures. I'm a caregiver. I want to be trusted. I don't want my residents to look at me and think I'm going to break doing cares!

    My boyfriend and I get up for work at the same time. He eats like it's his last meal, I have to choke down breakfast. He eats all day at work, I don't ever get the chance. He comes back to our apartment and eats and then snacks until we go to bed, I eat planned and balanced meals. But I'm the one who gains weight. He's actually just an inch taller than me (he's 5'5") and he's 180 pounds of lean muscle because he's a cyclist. He put on a bit of weight and he could stand to lose a little fat, but it's not visible! He doesn't look overweight. It's frustrating because I will just think about eating and gain weight. :grumble:
  • MissKalhan
    MissKalhan Posts: 2,282 Member
    My boyfriend is 6 foot around 155lbs which is the heaviest he has been, trying to gain muscle and to do so eats 5000 calories a day... SMH. He's strong as all hell and defined, he pushes me in everything I do and even joins races with me. Really size doesn't matter. :)
  • SkinnyFatAlbert
    SkinnyFatAlbert Posts: 482 Member
    My boyfriend is over 6 feet tall and weighs 160lbs. I'm significantly shorter than him at 5'1" and weigh about 110lbs, but am quite curvy.

    I know this is a result of that stupid "men must be bigger" mindset, but yesterday night he pointed out that my butt and thighs look very "powerful", and that they may even be larger than his (in a very loving way... he honestly does seem to think these qualities of mine are nice). It turns out that our butts are the same circumference, and my thighs are a bit bigger. Also, my chest is only an inch smaller than his. I know it shouldn't matter, but it just made me feel very fat and unfeminine. I guess I was already quite hyperaware of other things, such as how I can pick him up and what not, so this just contributed to it.

    Do any other ladies have experience with this? He honestly does tell me that he loves me as I am all the time, but this minor thing for some reason bothered me a lot. How do I avoid feeling like this? Also, how do I stop stressing over the fact that he's not that much larger than me?

    50lbs more is quite a bit and he's 11 inches taller. Whether you two are composed differently is one thing but to say you're close in size isn't really true.
  • dswolverine
    dswolverine Posts: 246 Member
    my fiance is about 6' and weighs probably around 165lbs, meaning i am only 7 or so lbs less than him at 5'9". I do feel self conscious, even though he tells me how good i look all the time. Even more frustrating is how he can eat WHATEVER THE HELL HE WANTS and not gain an ounce. He works out and lifts, so he's no couch potato, but still. Oh to have his metabolism!!
  • andreaheileman
    andreaheileman Posts: 48 Member
    My fiance is 6'4'' and weighs about 150lbs! He is so tall and skinny! When I first met him He was only 135lbs, and I weighed more than him... and I still do today. I cannot wait for the day when I weigh less than this skinny tall man! Even though he weighs less than me and is almost a foot taller than me... He always makes me feel small and dainty and beautiful! :) He's so sweet :heart:

    Edit for spelling... lol
  • KnM0107
    KnM0107 Posts: 355 Member
    As a female I don't compare my body to a man's body. Women tend to carry more weight in their hips and thighs anyway. If my husband had curves he would look odd IMO. Of course my hip measurement is bigger than my husbands because I am a female and an hourglass shape and he is not. I am 5'6" 143lbs, my husband is 5'7" 150lbs. We are both strong and healthy and that is all that matters. When I was at my heaviest (270) I still didn't compare myself to my husband.
  • Amalthea8284
    Amalthea8284 Posts: 49 Member
    You are a woman and your hips/butt/thighs are supposed to be bigger than his. No worries! :)
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    in for skinny superheros

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