Parents who have lost a child.

jmcreynolds91
jmcreynolds91 Posts: 777 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi everyone. 3 days ago, I lost my 16 month old baby girl. It was all so sudden as she suffered from what we thought was Asthma for only 2 weeks. She was having a hard time breathing so I took her too the doctor. They gave her breathing treatments and she did good on that for about a week. She started wheezing again and the albuterol treatments weren't helping her as much. I took her back to the doctor as she was coughing all night and was having a really hard time breathing. The doc gave her a higher dosage of albuterol and a steroid. We thought she had IGE allergies like my hubby. She did great over this past weekend and I thought she was fine. We actually started thinking she just had bad allergies like her daddy and took her off of milk products. She was better so I thought she was okay now. On Monday she was crying all day and wheezing bad. I kept giving her breathing treatments but they weren;t helping at ALL. My baby girl was trying so hard to breathe. She had a gray look over her, but I thought she was having the same issues as before. My hubby came home and saw her, and ran out to get our humidifier. 20 minutes later, he got back with it, hooked it up. We were in the room with her as he leaned down to give her a kiss, and shouted "JULIE!!" She had stopped breathing. :brokenheart: :sad: I grabbed her, and did CPR on her all the way to the hospital,( I had training)which seemed like a 3 hour drive. It was only about 4 minutes at 110 MPH. I tried to resuscitate my little angel. I ran into the ER and handed them her lifeless body. I watched them try and get her back for about 5 minutes as my husband and I held each other and our son. Finally, the doctor came and told us the thing that no parent ever wants to hear. "There is nothing we could do. She was already gone." My baby girl, is gone. Just.....GONE. How can my baby girl just be gone like this. I guess I am asking any parents who ever have lost their baby, does it get any easier.?? The pain is so heavy in my heart and I don't understand any piece of this. We got the autopsy results back, and everything pointed to a lung infection like pneumonia or bronchitis. I DO NOT understand how this happened. When we were at the doctor those 2 times, they did 2 X-rays and the first one, looked like she had a patch of bronchitis, but the second looked clear. She was on a 5 day course of antibiotics. The hardest part of all of this is it could have been prevented if the doctors would have caught it. Instead, I am without one of my angels. I am asking for all of your prayers for me and my family. I do not know how to hold myself together for my son and husband. This is the hardest thing ever and my heart is broken into pieces. Hold your little ones tight, as every day is not promised. :brokenheart: :sad:
Thank you all for reading and God bless.
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Replies

  • celtbell3
    celtbell3 Posts: 738 Member
    I am so sorry dear! I am thinking of you that you find the strength you need! <<Hugs>>
  • artelyn
    artelyn Posts: 175 Member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. I've been there...hold tight to your husband and son. Friends and family will mean well, so tell them what you need and don't need. They will be lost in trying to help you and what they do may come out all wrong. But remember they mean well. Hugs.
  • DivaJadelyn
    DivaJadelyn Posts: 280 Member
    I'm so sorry. I lost my 18 month old daughter in March. Nothing ever eases the ache. I also sought comfort here on My Fitness Pal, as the horror of losing my child was just so great that I felt alone, even among my friends and family.

    I wish I could offer more than condolences. Just be brave, and if you need some advice regarding the final arrangements I am more the willing to talk to you about the experience. It can be overwhelming and shell shocking.
  • jmcreynolds91
    jmcreynolds91 Posts: 777 Member
    Thank you. I do feel so alone in this. No one understands the pain. My mom lost my sister at 14, so I have dealt with this pain. And I still miss my closest sister so bad. I just wish I could hold my babygirl.
  • Fit_Lean_Priya
    Fit_Lean_Priya Posts: 164 Member
    i am so sorry, i hope no parents go through this
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    I cant imagine your loss and the pain you must be dealing with right now. My heart goes out to you. Just sending you, your hubby, and son some virtual hugs.
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    So sorry for all this pain and loss! I know that no one can understand exactly how you feel. I have experienced losses too, and know that there is a process to the grief, and that it is intensely private.
  • Madame_Goldbricker
    Madame_Goldbricker Posts: 1,625 Member
    My heart and thoughts go out to you. I can't even begin to comprehend the level of pain and loss that you are feeling.
  • srslybritt
    srslybritt Posts: 1,618 Member
    Oh, my heart just hurts for you! Sending lots of love your way, and I hope you are able to find some healing. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it.
  • verptwerp
    verptwerp Posts: 3,659 Member
    oh, no, what a terrible thing ...... my heart breaks for you all .......

    I can't even imagine how you feel, but sending hugs and prayers your way ....... we care, honey :heart:
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
    I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. You are in my thoughts. :<
  • mteague277
    mteague277 Posts: 145 Member
    No parent should ever have to bury a child. Your kids are supposed to out live you :( I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs and love to you.
  • bunnybutler29
    bunnybutler29 Posts: 291
    I'm so sorry to hear. My prayers go out to you. I cant imagine losing one like that. I did have a miscarriage before and was torn to pieces from it. Without getting graphic it was really bad and started while I was grocery shopping. What happened the dr said would only happen to 1 in a million women. It was so hard. He didnt say anything I could see it in the ultrasound. There was no heartbeat. I dont know how I walked out the dr office that day. I cried for months and like others have posted u will go through the grieving process. Emmaleigh Noel was to be her name. Well is her name. Ask for help if u need it dont be afraid to ask. Once againm I'msorry for ur loss.
  • jmcreynolds91
    jmcreynolds91 Posts: 777 Member
    I'm so sorry to hear. My prayers go out to you. I cant imagine losing one like that. I did have a miscarriage before and was torn to pieces from it. Without getting graphic it was really bad and started while I was grocery shopping. What happened the dr said would only happen to 1 in a million women. It was so hard. He didnt say anything I could see it in the ultrasound. There was no heartbeat. I dont know how I walked out the dr office that day. I cried for months and like others have posted u will go through the grieving process. Emmaleigh Noel was to be her name. Well is her name. Ask for help if u need it dont be afraid to ask. Once againm I'msorry for ur loss.

    I am so sorry to hear this. God bless you and that baby girl. Thank you so much.
  • bitxbit
    bitxbit Posts: 1,465 Member
    No words can ease your pain, but please know that l send my love and prayers. No one will know exactly what to say and they will, undoubtedly fail at times. Take what small comfort you can, knowing their efforts are heartfelt. Please, seek out a support group for grieving families. Don't overlook the fact, that your dear son may need to express himself at this time (or at some point in the future), and that this is normal and healthy. You may be able to find, with the help of this type of services, a way to help him begin to understand his loss. Draw close to those you love and seek support from each other. My prayers are yours, Dear.
  • nena49659
    nena49659 Posts: 260 Member
    My daughter and son-in-law experienced the loss of a child almost 5 years ago. I'll say to remember to turn to your husband and help him to turn to you. When the two of you need people to back off a little bit and allow the two of you alone time, don't be afraid to ask for it. However, don't close in on yourselves either.

    My best advice would be to see if there is a group near you that is specifically geared towards parents grieving the loss of a child. I live in a small town in the northwestern lower peninsula of Michigan and we have one near us. So, I am betting that there would be one near you, as well.

    In the meantime, God be with you.
  • GiddyupTim
    GiddyupTim Posts: 2,819 Member
    I am so sorry. My prayers with you. When I was young, my three-year-old brother drowned. Very hard.
  • Artaxia
    Artaxia Posts: 185
    I'm so sorry to hear that. My boyfriends uncle ran over his daughter. It was a terrible day. I drove 4 hours after work to make sure they were ok, and woke up early the next morning to drive 4 hours back to go to work. That weekend (my birthday weekend) i spent it at their daughters funeral. I was pregnant at the time. I felt terrible for being pregnant, because I felt it brought memories back for them. This was a year and 2 months ago.

    Anyway, talk of your daughter often. remember her often. remember the good times, and the bad times. Laugh about the things she used to do. It'll help you keep her spirit around, and it'll help you mourn.

    good luck to you and your family. I can't imagine what you're going through right now.

    <3
  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
    Oh my god. I am so sorry to hear that. I can not imagine that kind of pain. :(
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    I am so so sorry. This is heart breaking. I'd encourage you to see out some grief counseling, whatever you can find. Thoughts and prayers are with your family.
  • melissa44
    melissa44 Posts: 57 Member
    Working as a RN in a NICU with babies who are critically ill I have dealt with baby's passing away, and I always prayed that God would give me the right words in order to help be a comfort for my patients parents dealing with most difficult matter. After adopting two of my patients (drug addicted one pound premature babies) years later we were blessed with a baby girl who I carried for 20 weeks and we lost her due to having an incompetent cervix, despite the fact that they had me lying upside down for 3 days and on antibiotics our lil angel slipped through my body straight into heaven. I do believe that Angelita's existence served a purpose, I now am able to be of comfort to many parents as I have lost a child myself. A year later, on bed rest we did have a healthy little girl who is now 9 years old.

    I know the pain, of leaving the hospital and driving home, without your baby and it is such a deep dark time, you feel as though your heart will explode and you will just die. Please know that in time, you will slowly begin to heal but take every moment and grieve through all the stages. I would highly suggest a parents group for those who have lost children, check into your hospitals, like maybe a Children's hospital or a University Hospital.

    We are here for you and we are sending you virtual hugs and prayers, I am so sorry for your family's most precious loss.
  • staceyw37
    staceyw37 Posts: 2,094 Member
    No words can ease your pain, but please know that l send my love and prayers. No one will know exactly what to say and they will, undoubtedly fail at times. Take what small comfort you can, knowing their efforts are heartfelt. Please, seek out a support group for grieving families. Don't overlook the fact, that your dear son may need to express himself at this time (or at some point in the future), and that this is normal and healthy. You may be able to find, with the help of this type of services, a way to help him begin to understand his loss. Draw close to those you love and seek support from each other. My prayers are yours, Dear.

    very well put. i am very sorry for your loss. i have had miscarriages but that is not the same. my brother died when he was 16/17, and my parents made it through. a hole in their hearts for all time, yes. but also life and laughter with time. support, counseling, love, time, patience are all important. again, i am so sorry for this profound loss for you and your family. will be praying for your healing.
  • eileen0515
    eileen0515 Posts: 408 Member
    I have no words, that could ever ease your pain. I am just so sorry, so very sorry.
  • slw5X5
    slw5X5 Posts: 282 Member
    Nine years ago this February, I gave birth to my twin sons. One of them was stillborn. Absolute worse pain on earth. Yes, it does feel as though your heart has been shattered into millions of tiny pieces. The pain doesn't go away, but it will get better. Counselling helps, crying helps, knowing that you are not alone helps, emotional support from family and friends and especially your husband is all very helpful.

    Every few days, or whenever you feel comfortable, have a good cry. Don't bottle it all up inside. You will get better.
  • Diet_Soda
    Diet_Soda Posts: 124 Member
    I will hold your family in my thoughts today. I am so sorry for what you have experienced.
  • helenmelon29
    helenmelon29 Posts: 787 Member
    I'm so sorry to here about your loss. We have a 16 month old lb and I cant imagine how awful it must be.
  • Fuzzipeg
    Fuzzipeg Posts: 2,301 Member
    A very big hug to you all.

    My family had a very near miss, with one of the granddaughters at birth and again with her and her mother within 48 hours because of an infection. We had the other five children, under 15, from the family to support for a good 10 days. What to say to each child? How to answer their questions? when they were away from home.

    A very big hug is not enough but it is all I can express.
  • lgrix
    lgrix Posts: 160 Member
    So very sorry for your family's loss.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    I am so sorry for your loss :(
  • nofearbebravelive
    nofearbebravelive Posts: 49
    I am so sorry to hear about your little girl. My most heartfelt condolences. I am so very sorry.

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