Weight loss jealousy

I totally empathise - I also put on a lot of weight post divorce 14 years ago and have only just lost it over the past 16 mths.... people say such nasty things don't they! "If you lose any more weight, you'll fall through a grate" "You are REALLY starting to look haggard now" "Do you actually eat anything? (said while I was eating a biscuit)" etc etc. There are plenty of women at work thinner than me that do not attract such comments.....surely the grate will catch us all!!!

I also find the look of hate - and I am not joking - so awful it puts me off talking about healthy eating.... you know, when they ask how you lost the weight and when I say 'just watching what I ate, portion sizes etc' they look disbelieving at first..... they they say "did you not drink raspberry tea/do the 5:2 diet/drink shakes/live at the gym (or whatever is the fad atm) and when I sort of shake my head and shrug I have actually had women turn away and stalk off muttering..... and they don't look me in the eye for ages.

I have learnt to walk with my head up, a smile on my face and if any one asks tell the truth and let it seep into them eventually. If they want to be nasty, then let it wash over you as best you can..... at the end of the day your health, your life and your confidence are much improved and thats what matters. If they cannot be happy for you then you can't make them, so be happy for yourself and smile :happy:

sadly, sometimes you will have a lot of that, hold your head up, keep going, keep a positive attitude.

Its something most insecure people would do. They are jealous of seeing someone get out their comfort zone and do something about themself and it even gets worse when you succeed doing the thing. I dont think you should care tho focus on ur goals and yourself thats way more important

I have found and believe I don't know why that sometimes women can be catty about their own insecurities. Women/men both need to be secure in who they are and not be so judgmental. I guess maybe you are now saw as a bigger competition to some? It's silly as you have worked hard and everyone has the same opportunities to work on their health/appearance. Even if weight loss isn't on everyone list, toning and exercising can be. No need to not be happy for those who have worked hard. Losing weight is no easy task so Cheers to you and keep up the good work.

Agreed!!!! Your post sounds much like mine. It's insecurity. I am happy for everyone I know who tries to better themselves whether health, appearance, or new hobbies. Don't matter if there are happy I am too. I don't like things thrown in my face but even where I work and I've lost a pretty sizable about of weight, no one has ever commented. So I get just the opposite which suits me fine I am not doing it for a pat on the back. I lost weight to take my life back. The excess weight kept me from many things through the years and I'm enjoying so much more now.

Insecurities, they probably find loosing weight is difficult and see that you're doing it well, so they reflect that onto you. Don't worry about it

Good for you, I gained a lot of weight the last year I was married because we were sooooo unhappy. I have always been big since puberty, and now (past 2 years) has been the time I've focused on me. I haven't had too many experiences like this, but I do occasionally get people who are rude when I don't want to gorge myself on sweets. Like since I am still overweight I should WANT to eat cheesecake all day. It is their own insecurities, don't let it bother you. The people who support you should be those you surround yourself with, and try to avoid those you only want to bring you down to make themselves feel better.

I've had this in the past as well. Funnily enough I had positive supporting comments right up to the last 10kg while I still had that 'slightly overweight' look and then once I broke into that healthy weight range and had no more weight to really lose, just muscle definition to gain, the positive comments stopped (except from people who hadn't seen me in a long time) and it was like all the hardwork people knew I had put in had been forgotten and I must be anorexic, or exercising too much, too thin, when was I going to stop etc etc

I also get the look when people ask how I lost weight before or how I'm losing it now. My standard response is 'watching what I eat, and exercising almost everyday' its almost like they think I've been given the key to a magical kingdom and I'm not giving them entry. I realised too late last time that they don't want to hear reality, because denial is a much more comfortable place to be.

Basically it was all insecurity on their part and unfortunately it fed into my lingering insecurities as well and stopped me from being able to maintain long term, it helped to fuel the excuses that led me back to overeating when I was physically injured and very unmotivated. Everyone seemed so much happier and comfortable around me while I was fat, I didn't realise until too late that it was because they felt better about themselves when I was fatter than them and it had nothing to do with concern for my wellbeing :ohwell:

Lesson learnt this time and I am going to go by how I feel not how everyone else feels about me.

First of all, congrats on your weight loss. I think girls are the worst when it comes to other girls. When I lost weight I was being accused of using diet pills, starving myself, etc. Then I was told that I was "stick thin".

I can't speak to what their motivation was for their hurtful comments. It was then that realized who my real friends were.

First of all, congratulations on your weight loss! It is a huge accomplishment, and is a physical step on your journey to a new stage of your life. Well done!

Some people have not yet developed the emotional maturity to truly be happy for the successes of others, particularly when those successes force them (as your visual reminder--despite your lack of words--of your weight loss does) to look at what they would like to have, but don't. Your weight loss could make some others feel more aware of their own need to lose weight when they compare themselves to you.

Surprisingly, it could also make "friends" who felt secure that THEY were more virtuous/attractive/whatever because they were slimmer feel threated as their place in the pecking order of thinness is possibly "threatened".

Like you, I try not to compare myself to others, and don't really 'get' folks who feel that other's successes take something away from me. The reality is that some people just do that.

Enjoy your new health status, continue being modest and friendly, and many will come around. Those who don't weren't really on your side to begin with!

Girls are terrible.

^ That. And they also make me feel funny in my pants.

I also find the look of hate - and I am not joking - so awful it puts me off talking about healthy eating.... you know, when they ask how you lost the weight and when I say 'just watching what I ate, portion sizes etc' they look disbelieving at first..... they they say "did you not drink raspberry tea/do the 5:2 diet/drink shakes/live at the gym (or whatever is the fad atm) and when I sort of shake my head and shrug I have actually had women turn away and stalk off muttering..... and they don't look me in the eye for ages.

I've had people asking me if I've had a gastric band fitted, others started a rumour that I had been seriously ill. When people ask me and I say I eat less and move more they seem extremely dubious and disbelieving. I work in a small team and have three male and one female colleague. They've been mostly fine although there has been some defensive comments when I get out my healthy packed lunch and they are eating deep fill sandwiches and two packets of crisps (each). However, it seems to be the wider group of women that mainly make the negative comments. The basic issue seems to be that they would like to lose weight but aren't prepared to do anything about it. When they find out that I don't have a miracle cure that involves no effort on their part they discount what I've done and decide I must not be telling the truth. Oddly the men have in the main been absolutely fine.

Honestly .. it is all jealously at work. They are pissed that you are getting fit, hot and trim and well they aren't.

I have really good friends in real life and they all understand that this is not easy and they are all happy for me.

Just ignore the negative people .. and there will be many. Be happy for the positive ones.

I don't really have an answer for you but I deal this all the time. I just try to next bring it up but when I wear new clothes that show my new body I'm bragging. What you want me to wear cloth 3 sizes too big forever no thanks. I just don't even comment anymore. Haters gonna hate

Hold your head up Beautiful!! You've worked so hard! Sometimes people are mean cause they're unhappy w/ themselves and just projecting.Brush your shoulders off! and keep smiling!!:drinker: :happy: