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MyFitnessPal Community

What does your family say when you lose weight?

cdahl383

Just curious as to what some of your family members say when you start to lose weight.

Personally, my wife is very supportive, but my in-laws and my parents both worry about me and say I'm losing too much weight and will look sickly if I don't stop soon. Mind you, I'm 5'11" and probably 20% bodyfat at 198 lbs. My goal is to get around 175-185 lbs and see how I look and take it from there. They think I'll look sickly at that weight though. I know they're wrong, but sometimes I wonder what prompts them to say things like that.

I think part of it could be that they're just used to seeing me with a little extra weight on me that when I get to a healthier weight, I look too thin, because in their minds they're used to seeing me the old way. My mom will even go as far as to start bringing over more snacks, candy, and other junk food to the house.

What do your friends/family say when they notice you losing weight or adding some muscle?

Replies

NeIIaBeIIa

Haven't seen the extended family for nearly 2yrs - I'm terrified! Last time was just after my baby was born, and I wasn't in shape, although my weight went even higher for a while there. I could easily blame the baby. But she is 2 now - so I can't do that anymore!

My husband is totally supportive, although doesn't say much, he is confused why i need to count calories and weigh food. For him, he just loses weight easily and in a different way. I don't have that sort of self control

But he hugs me and says 'your belly isn't there anymore' which i love of course

My parents are super fit for their age and it embarasses me that I am not, and that I feel like a giant next to my Mum (she is tiny, a very different build to me and about 1/2 foot smaller). And i think only now I JUST weigh less than my super slim 6'2" dad (mortifying...). So they will probably not say anything about my current weight, or the gradual change, and will feed me salad (which is fine! and all you can get at their house anyway

My parents in law are overweight and will tell me immediately to not lose any more, because they think they can't. Can hear it already. I am 5'8" and 176lbs, I need to be around 160 in my mind.

I am halfway to my goal. I will be spending the next 4 weeks (OMG.....) visiting the lot of them on the other side of the world, nothing any one them say will make me change my mind. Determined. But terrified...

Spreyton22K

Dear OP - hope you don't mind me adding in my 2 cents worth.....I don't have any of my family about so the only family members that have any input are from my husbands side and our grown-up kids.

Hubby is great....we went on this whole weight-loss thing together so we have always been each others biggest supporters. My daughter as much as I love her and she is a gem - she has gotten a little miffed that I now weigh less than her....no matter that I'm healthy her comments are always beginning with "You look sick", "You need to eat more" closely followed by her bemoaning the fact that she is struggling to control her weight due to the wonderful round of dinner parties and lots of drinking which is kind of the norm in the professional circles her and her husband rotate around.

But, I can deal with loved ones....even brush aside the 'mean' spirited comments from obese members of my husbands family......it is so tiring to be asked how did you do this - over and over - watch their eyes glaze and then they follow up with *kitten* such as "Well you know that statistics show that 90% of people that lose weight will put it all and more back on within whatever time frame". Or the other gem of me counting calories + exercise will never work for me......after the last 2-3 years I have just learned to keep my mouth closed.

But.....sorry if this is long and rambly I would like to ask everyone's advice on how to deal with the sort of negativity and personal comments from others over "being skinny". It is just getting beyond a joke now. No-one ever said a damn thing when I was fat. But now it's open season.

I am slim. I have a small frame. But people are relentless, usually they are bigger.....much bigger and I am starting to feel as isolated and unattractive as I did when I was 20 stone. I get really tongue-tied when this happens....I can't think of any response.....Smart, funny or sarcastic as the need be. Does anyone have any tips or self-protective ideas to help me. Please

Karen

ElizabethFuller

Nothing! I've lost 11kg (24lb), dropped 1-2 dress sizes and no-one has said "Have you lost weight". Even my husband had to be shown my 90 day weight loss graph before he was impressed. It's a bit sad but I am doing this for me and I definitely feel thinner and certainly feel fitter. I must have carried my excess flab in a tidy way Maybe in another month, and I really hope another dress size, my friends and family will be wowed. Here's hoping.

OK, to update, my sister finally noticed that I've lost weight! Did she say "Wow, Lizzy, looking good!" No, she said in a very accusing tone "You've lost weight!" I agreed but didn't say how much (now over 30lb). "Well how did YOU do that then?" The emphasis definitely on "you". I said I was moving more and eating less. She said Oh and then went back to talking about her shopping trip.
To go back to my original post, I am doing this for me, I feel so much better and healthier, but it would be nice to get a couple of "Wows". I have about another 10lb to go before I reach my target, then I'm going shopping, I think pretty, fitted clothes in the next size down will help my image .........Yay, can't wait!

(Edited to make sense!)

Vex3521

"Are you still doing that thing?"

Since, as we all know, fitness is something you should just "do" for a couple of months and then stop. :explode:

Exactly! I get that one a lot as well.

When they heard I was trying to lose weight.... Oh that's good cause you're "SO BIG" > from a family member with a bigger pants size.

When asking about my goals .... Oh that's just way TOO much weight to lose you'll look awful <and> a what!??! at your age with how many kids??? I said I wanted to get down around 120-130 and see how I felt/looked and measured because the number on the scale is a guideline not the end all be all magic number. And I want to be back in a bikini.... with 4 kids and I turn 35 in Feb lol.

I've also gotten "Oh you're losing weight in your face/neck, now you just need to lose it from <insert body part>" if it were that easy lol.

My husband though, amazing support. He keeps telling me I CAN DO IT. He knows how unhappy I've been and has loved me from 95# up to 209.5 and only ever said anything when I Really was too skinny. Dropped too much, too fast after having one of our children while on active duty and I had to gain some weight and fix it. The kids keep telling me good job and giving high fives so my immediate family keeps me going.

newlife888

Great question! My husband keeps saying I look great at whatever size. He likes my fit self better I think because exercise makes me happier and less anxious. So very encouraging. My mom thinks I need to "stop with the weight loss". She's pretty overweight and I think she's just saying that so I eat all the giant quantities of food she has around... so that can be a challenge. Thanks for posting!

12skipafew99100

My dad and step mom saw me for the first time after I lost 50 pounds and my dad was concerned that I was losing too much. Mind you I still had another 20 pounds to go but he hadn't seen me this thin since I was 17 so he was concerned. It was very sweet and I told him that I was fine, being monitored by my doctor and that I felt great and was so happy. So my parents bought me a new wardrobe and my husband one as well since we were both losing weight.
Everyone is supported and I never heard a bad thing. I'm blessed

That is nice. I'm glad you are supported.

And thanks.....