I'm a Chauvinist?

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TheRoadDog
TheRoadDog Posts: 11,791 Member
in Chit-Chat
Last night my wife travelled about 80 miles to help my daughter pack up her apartment in preparation for moving. As my wife was walking up the walkway to the apartment building, a College student (male) walked ahead of her, opened the door, entered, and let it shut on my wife. My wife had a vacuum cleaner in one hand and a carpet cleaner in the other.

I know the kid didn't do anything wrong, but, when my wife called last night and told me, it plssed me off.

What happened to manners? Opening doors for other people? Giving up your seat to a woman or an older person? Standing when a woman enters the room?

These are just common courtesies that we were raised to practice. Does showing courtesy and/or deference make me a Chauvinist?

One thing that I have noticed over tha last few years is that when I open a door for someone and let them enter ahead of me, they are surprised. Is it that uncommon now?

I'm a little dissappointed. People are so self-involved. Half the younger people I see these days have ear buds in and are looking down at their cell phone, texting. They don't even know what is going on around them. But, I guess, I prefer to thing that they are unaware than intentionally rude.
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Replies

  • DrMAvDPhD
    DrMAvDPhD Posts: 2,097 Member
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    Geez. Maybe the kid didn't see her or had someplace to be. He's a college student not a doorman.
  • aakaakaak
    aakaakaak Posts: 1,240 Member
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    Remove "woman" from just about every statement and it's not chauvinism, but common courtesy.
  • rosemary98
    rosemary98 Posts: 632
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    you are NOT a chauvinist. In fact, the kid was an oblivious jerk, in my opinion. you don't let doors shut on people behind you...I don't care if you are a man or a woman. I am, too, surprised by the lack of courtesy in people. (but I will use men as a traditional example). The older men will almost always let you off/on the elevator first. open doors, etc. many younger men (not all, i repeat not all) will charge out of the elevator even if i am in front.

    But many good acts as well. I can't remember the situation exactly, but I believe I was trying to jump over a snow bank and a man actually held out his arm to assist.

    Also (sadly) I've witnessed people fall..and people act like they don't see the person. it's like WTF...go help them up, pick up their stuff, etc...i do.
  • AZ_Gato
    AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
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    Last night my wife travelled about 80 miles to help my daughter pack up her apartment in preparation for moving. As my wife was walking up the walkway to the apartment building, a College student (male) walked ahead of her, opened the door, entered, and let it shut on my wife. My wife had a vacuum cleaner in one hand and a carpet cleaner in the other.

    I know the kid didn't do anything wrong, but, when my wife called last night and told me, it plssed me off.

    What happened to manners? Opening doors for other people? Giving up your seat to a woman or an older person? Standing when a woman enters the room?

    These are just common courtesies that we were raised to practice. Does showing courtesy and/or deference make me a Chauvinist?

    One thing that I have noticed over tha last few years is that when I open a door for someone and let them enter ahead of me, they are surprised. Is it that uncommon now?

    I'm a little dissappointed. People are so self-involved. Half the younger people I see these days have ear buds in and are looking down at their cell phone, texting. They don't even know what is going on around them. But, I guess, I prefer to thing that they are unaware than intentionally rude.

    It's not these college kids' fault that they are being oblivious to common courtesy. It's their parents' fault for not raising better citizens. I have a 12 and 16 year old, they've been taught to hold doors open, to say please and thank you, to make eye contact, to shake a hand with a firm grip, and to generally do to others as they'd have done unto them.

    I feel that with each passing generation, we lose a little bit more of our humanity.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,791 Member
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    Geez. Maybe the kid didn't see her or had someplace to be. He's a college student not a doorman.

    He passed her on the sidewalk on the way to the door.
  • bloominheck
    bloominheck Posts: 869 Member
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    His momma didnt raise him right. If my mom had seen either me or my 3 brothers do something like this she would have boxed our ears. I remember when I was about 12, my brother and I were on a bus in England and it was crowed. He stood up and gave his seat to a elderly lady. He was about 16 or 17. That has stuck with me still:heart:
  • So_Much_Fab
    So_Much_Fab Posts: 1,146 Member
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    Remove "woman" from just about every statement and it's not chauvinism, but common courtesy.

    QFT. I would hold a door open for anyone that had their hands full!
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
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    Remove "woman" from just about every statement and it's not chauvinism, but common courtesy.

    ^^^ this exactly.

    A few weeks ago, a co-worker and I were carrying heavy equipment. A young man actually said, "that looks heavy" then opened the door, walked through and let it close.

    I'm not sure who was more rude, him or me calling him a d*ck hole.
  • Cali_Chica
    Cali_Chica Posts: 895 Member
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    People spend too much time generalizing and glorifying previous generations. Times change. Social norms and mores change as well. Embrace it and focus on the positives rather than holding onto "the good ol' days" and "back when I was a kid..."

    As for opening doors, I think you're generalizing. From my experience men still do this for women. Some don't but most do that i have expeienced. And it's not chauvinistic, its courteous. My opinion.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
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    i don't know. where i work, people open and hold doors for people. I will, generally, open the door for someone and let them go ahead regardless of gender. The one thing I don't do is stand when a woman or other person enters the room... all the time. it depends on the scenario. If I am at a social function, then i probably do to shake hands or something, but i definitely don't at work, where my office has 3 women where are in and out all day.

    i don't think you are chauvinist unless you are doing those things for women because you think they can't. and that's obviously not the case.
  • AZ_Gato
    AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
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    People spend too much time generalizing and glorifying previous generations. Times change. Social norms and mores change as well. Embrace it and focus on the positives rather than holding onto "the good ol' days" and "back when I was a kid..."

    As for opening doors, I think you're generalizing. From my experience men still do this for women. Some don't but most do that i have expeienced. And it's not chauvinistic, its courteous. My opinion.

    Me thinks nice boobs = more opened doors.
  • Azexas
    Azexas Posts: 4,334 Member
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    I've noticed this more and more and sadly its mostly my generation. This just happened to me going to the gym last night...guy walked right in front of me and there is no way that he didn't see me, opened the door and let it slam right on me. It's common courtesy really. I let people go ahead of me in the grocery store if they have less than I do and I hold doors open. Everyone is just concerned about themselves and no one else it seems lile. I do however believe that if I hold the door for you, and you don't say thank you, I should then be allowed to hit you with the door. :wink:
  • BenjaminMFP88
    BenjaminMFP88 Posts: 660 Member
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    Remove "woman" from just about every statement and it's not chauvinism, but common courtesy.

    This. The world does not revolve around women. Why does every form of courtesy be directed solely at them?
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    Remove "woman" from just about every statement and it's not chauvinism, but common courtesy.

    THIS. 10000x this.
  • just_Jennie1
    just_Jennie1 Posts: 1,233
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    I always hold the door open for people. It's just common courtesy. I have also rarely encountered someone who doesn't hold the door open for me and I have been pleasantly surprised when it's someone who is in their teens or early 20's that do it.

    There will always be people who are courteous and those who aren't.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,951 Member
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    What happened to manners? Opening doors for other people? Giving up your seat to a woman or an older person? Standing when a woman enters the room?
    Went to pot with the first iphone. Kids these days... no I kid. When I lived in SF, I've had women tell me to **** myself for opening the door for them. When I was in Boston no one opened the door for women, particularly in the dingbat hell known as Cambridge. Here in Spokane, where there is a higher percentage of rednecks, and dudes with spines, there are more people that hold doors open for each other.
    These are just common courtesies that we were raised to practice. Does showing courtesy and/or deference make me a Chauvinist?
    Depending on the flavor of feminist, yes, you're an oppressive **** for holding a door open. Depending on the flavor of normal person you're talking to, they'll say that it's a kindness, and a way to acknowledge the humanity of another without cost or effort.

    Sadly, today's parents have utterly failed when it comes to training their children to at least acknowledge the humanity of others. They've allowed unfettered consumption of technology, leading to functional (or marginally so) people who are socially idiots at worse, and deep on the path of sociopathy at worse. I would say though, the population skews more towards worse case than best case.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,951 Member
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    Geez. Maybe the kid didn't see her or had someplace to be. He's a college student not a doorman.

    This is what I'm getting at.
  • Hestion
    Hestion Posts: 740 Member
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    Just have to.say i find women ruder! Of ALL ages, i get barged in the gym locker room, door slammed at me, ignored if i allow someone to come through the dood first, glared at for being there.

    Women in shops don't even start me on that!
  • MissKitty9
    MissKitty9 Posts: 224 Member
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    Remove "woman" from just about every statement and it's not chauvinism, but common courtesy.

    Exactly, this isn't about chivalry or whatever---it's just common courtesy. I'm a woman, & if I saw anybody behind me struggling with a handful of packages, I'd open the door for them.
  • mikeykhan2003
    mikeykhan2003 Posts: 177
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    Geez. Maybe the kid didn't see her or had someplace to be. He's a college student not a doorman.

    Yankees. :p

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