What to eat when you are invited for dinner

To anyone who is reading this, please don't be a snotty food guest. It really derails my opinions of people when they accept your hospitality and then go out of their way to be snobby. This includes verbal, but non verbal as well. Don't make faces, sigh, or otherwise be a jerk. If you do not like the food you can get around this by eating a smaller portion and complimenting the dishes or flowers or something. Food is a very personal thing and very subject to taste.

Or if you're really uncomfortable decline the invitation, or decline and suggest to go out someplace (even McDonalds has salads) at a later date.

Your hosts have a responsibility to be good hosts, but a guest has just as much if not MORE responsibility to be a good guest.

So this is an issue I come across at least two times a week: eating with others. I get invited or go out for dinner or lunch and I just don't know how to say friendly: No thanks, I don't want to eat your crapy food. And by crapy I mean like french fries, burgers, pizza, ice cream, big three course dinners and so on, because that is what most of my friends like to eat. As it happens so often it really isn't an option to just forget about a healthy diet for once (once in a while a pizza is okay I think but then we're talking about once in a month or so). Are there any people experiencing the same problems? And what do you do? Does anyone have tips how to avoid making yourself a social outsider in terms of food and still stay with your own food choices?

Thanks a lot!

Stop being such a peach, and you'll stop getting invited. These things have a way of working themselves out.

I'm off for a burger and fries . . .

Edit: big thumbs = typos

I look at the menus (if possible) ahead of time and pick stuff out. I'll take smaller portions of foods that are not really in line with my diet goals. I will pass on some stuff and eat others. I am not afraid to eat only salad or order a salad or plain chicken in front of everyone. I have 2 pot lucks this week. This is how I plan to get around through them.

Guys, it's fine! I don't have an unhealthy relationship with food

but.. you called something crappy.. and you said you don't eat something because it's bad for you. Therefore you have an unhealthy relationship with food and might even have orthorexia.. Welcome to the forums!

Trying to work your diet choices around your social life is a challenge. I know how quickly I can get derailed and how hard it is to get back on track. I have the worst time this time of year staying on track. I guess it's a blessing in that department that I don't have a lot of friends here. lol.. but really it has less to do with the friends and more to do with my thoughts. Anyway, it's pretty normal to have people not eat this or that these days, for one reason or another. The pot luck i'm going to is going to be interesting. There are so many people on so many different diets that are attending. It'll be interesting to see who eats what. Some are for medical reasons, others are just because and none of us get shamed for our choices. The majority of that is an online phenomenon. Borders on cyber bullying really.

Okay, wait, I think we might have a little miscommunication here. I know MaritzK (IRL) and have the same problem as her. What she means is not really about being 'invited to dinner'. We are both in a student society (don't know the right translation, we're Dutch, but it's kind of like a sorority) and eat with them twice a week. This is a situation when the people who feels like cooking, cook, and we all pay the bill together monthly. It's not really a matter of being impolite by refusing their food because we usually make it together (which means we also have a say in what's on the table, making it easier for both me and MaritzK, however we don't always have time to cook with them etc).

Also, to all the people saying she needs counseling: I understand you are trying to help, but don't you think that's a little quick to judge on your side? How much can you know of a person just by what they say in a forum post and on their profile?

I don't think she needs counseling, I think she just needs to stop being rude about other people's food choices.

I eat whatever my friends have, just less of it.

Eat what is offered, make up for it later in the week. Or plan for it if you know in advance you'll need the extra wiggle room. Our relationships with people are far too important to put them off because of a "diet". A day here and there will not really affect your long term goals if you're are usually on track.

I have learned to eat at pretty much any given restaurant without completely screwing up my day. Before i got to this point, I would have ordered some 3 cheese nachos from qdobas and said the hell with the day. Now, i get a meat and veggie bowl that tastes amazing and i kill my macros. I eat your "crappy food" several times a week without a hitch.

In...

...to learn other ways of handling this situation...

...besides the one I use which is to eat the food, (more or less of it depending on how good it is), logging it, and carrying on with my life.

I have learned to eat at pretty much any given restaurant without completely screwing up my day. Before i got to this point, I would have ordered some 3 cheese nachos from qdobas and said the hell with the day. Now, i get a meat and veggie bowl that tastes amazing and i kill my macros. I eat your "crappy food" several times a week without a hitch.

That is how you do it. *kitten* ain't that serious.

1. Eat the food.
2. Feel thankful that you even live in part of the world where refusing free food based on it's perceived quality is even a viable option.

Do a decent weights workout before, so you reap the benefits of fuelling your body?

So this is an issue I come across at least two times a week: eating with others. I get invited or go out for dinner or lunch and I just don't know how to say friendly: No thanks, I don't want to eat your crapy food. And by crapy I mean like french fries, burgers, pizza, ice cream, big three course dinners and so on, because that is what most of my friends like to eat. As it happens so often it really isn't an option to just forget about a healthy diet for once (once in a while a pizza is okay I think but then we're talking about once in a month or so). Are there any people experiencing the same problems? And what do you do? Does anyone have tips how to avoid making yourself a social outsider in terms of food and still stay with your own food choices?

Thanks a lot!

No, I don't have this problem. I don't get invited out to lunch very often. :ohwell:

Eat it and fit it into your calorie goals. Or eat before you go and just have a drink with them. Or pick something that's acceptable to you from the menu. Or ask your friends if you could alternate going to their crappy choice of venue, and your acceptable one. Or, stay at home and eat on your own.

Wow, isn't MFP supposed to be a supportive and understanding community? What's up with all the people saying she's rude and just overall "not fun"? I know I won't be asking any questions anytime soon.

Because a civil response to being invited for a meal is not to refer to the food on offer as 'crappy'.

Whatever happened to just saying "no, thanks." ?