I'm a Chauvinist?

245

Replies

  • KarmaKills
    KarmaKills Posts: 99 Member
    Geez. Maybe the kid didn't see her or had someplace to be. He's a college student not a doorman.


    Yep...this is a perfect example of a rude comment made by the younger generation...altho you're 26 y/o and should know better. The jerk PASSED her. She was carrying 2 HUGE items so I highly doubt he didn't notice her. Did he have somewhere to go? I'm sure he did. Was he in a hurry? Probably. But it would've been a common courtesy to stop for 10 seconds and hold the door open. A lot of youth today are rude, self absorbed and think the world owes them everything.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    I'm sorry you met spiteful woman, but do not make the mistake of saying spiteful woman = feminist...

    You've never been to Berkeley or SF have you?

    :laugh:
  • AZ_Gato
    AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
    Depending on the flavor of feminist, yes, you're an oppressive **** for holding a door open. Depending on the flavor of normal person you're talking to, they'll say that it's a kindness, and a way to acknowledge the humanity of another without cost or effort.

    I'm pretty sure I'm a feminist AND a normal person and will say please and thank you if someone show me kindness. I'm also pretty sure that, with my vagina and all, I still hold door open for anyone who his behind me or seems to need it, offer help to women with baby stroller on the subway, let my place for elderly people...

    I also do not believe it is a generational problem at all. Maybe college kid in general hold door less often then older person, but I'm pretty sure that if that is true, it was also true 10-20-30 years ago... and those college kids are now you.

    I'm sorry you met spiteful woman, but do not make the mistake of saying spiteful woman = feminist...

    You can hold a door open with your vagina? WHOA...

    mind = blown
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    I just finished my masters and spent a lot of time on a college campus that is 75% male and 90% nerd, not in the south. Those boys hold doors open too much. I often felt the need to hurry to the door so he wasn't standing there for 10 minutes as I was 100ft way.

    So you can't generalize an entire generation on one less than courteous kid.
  • MizTerry
    MizTerry Posts: 3,763 Member
    Honey, if that's chauvinism, then I love chauvinists. In my part of the lower 48, they are everywhere and for that I am thankful.

    I taught all three of my girls that if someone holds a door for them, THANK THE FELLA. That door didn't open itself.
  • ekz13
    ekz13 Posts: 725 Member
    regarless of hands full or not, its just good manners to take a 1/2 second and see if anyone is passing through the door right behind you and hold it and not let it shut in their face.. I see WAY too much of this lately ..

    pisses me off.. if people took a second to see how their actions impacted the people around them and have some manners, it'd be a much better place.
  • bigphatcat
    bigphatcat Posts: 7,843 Member
    What happened to manners? Opening doors for other people? Giving up your seat to a woman or an older person? Standing when a woman enters the room?
    Went to pot with the first iphone. Kids these days... no I kid. When I lived in SF, I've had women tell me to **** myself for opening the door for them. When I was in Boston no one opened the door for women, particularly in the dingbat hell known as Cambridge. Here in Spokane, where there is a higher percentage of rednecks, and dudes with spines, there are more people that hold doors open for each other.
    These are just common courtesies that we were raised to practice. Does showing courtesy and/or deference make me a Chauvinist?
    Depending on the flavor of feminist, yes, you're an oppressive **** for holding a door open. Depending on the flavor of normal person you're talking to, they'll say that it's a kindness, and a way to acknowledge the humanity of another without cost or effort.

    Sadly, today's parents have utterly failed when it comes to training their children to at least acknowledge the humanity of others. They've allowed unfettered consumption of technology, leading to functional (or marginally so) people who are socially idiots at worse, and deep on the path of sociopathy at worse. I would say though, the population skews more towards worse case than best case.

    I am so offended! Stop making sense and good rational points
  • missdibs1
    missdibs1 Posts: 1,092 Member
    I have noticed a general tendency towards this behavior (especially in the 25 and under crowd).
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    Was he raised in a barn or under a rock? He should have held the door for her. That is common courtesy and common sense. I don't know if it's a regional thing, but I really miss Southern gentlemen and Southern hospitality in general since moving to Detroit. In my opinion, those values are just normal and not being overly polite.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    Remove "woman" from just about every statement and it's not chauvinism, but common courtesy.

    I agree. If someone of any gender was carrying a bunch of heavy stuff, and another person of any gender happened to be going through the door, it would have been nice for that person to hold the door open. I don't see what gender has to do with it.
  • BigDougie1211
    BigDougie1211 Posts: 3,531 Member
    I think it goes the other way to. Last night I was leaving a restaurant and held the door for 2 women so they could enter. Both were so wrapped up in their conversation that neither one said Thank you. This happens a lot and makes me wonder why I'm being nice and holding the door for people that are unappreciative.

    This is one of the most infuriating things. Holding the door for somone isn't a big deal, but if I'm displaying common courtesy towards someone, it's nice if it's reciprocal.

    Here's rude for ya.
    A few weeks ago I was on my way into the staff canteen in work for lasagne for lunch. It's a self service / buffet type deal. I held the door open for 2 women and let them in ahead of me. They didn't acknowledge it.
    BUT
    It was quite late in lunch hour and there were only 4 pieces of lasagne left... there were 3 of us in the queue.
    They took 2 pieces each.
    Left me with none.
    Befoe anyone comes up with some ridiculously circuitous state of affairs whereby they had pre-aranged to get extra lasagne for their starving familes / donate it to charity / thought there was a fresh batch coming etc - this is not the case.
    They knew I was there for the same thing they were, they knew thee was no more to come and they cleaned it out.
  • diannethegeek
    diannethegeek Posts: 14,776 Member
    It's bad manners because she had her hands full, not because she's a woman. If it were a man with his hands full I would expect someone to hold the door open as well.

    I'm a woman (and a feminist) and I will always hold the door open for someone behind me. It only gets awkward when the man refuses to go through the door I'm holding open and insists on switching places with me.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    I am so offended! Stop making sense and good rational points

    Wanna hug it out?

    giphy.gif
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    I think it goes the other way to. Last night I was leaving a restaurant and held the door for 2 women so they could enter. Both were so wrapped up in their conversation that neither one said Thank you. This happens a lot and makes me wonder why I'm being nice and holding the door for people that are unappreciative.

    I find it funny when I hold the door for a couple of people, but then it turns into a chain, and I end up holding the door for 6 other people coming in behind them. At that point, I am thinking this has to stop somewhere. :laugh:
  • BossBich
    BossBich Posts: 65 Member
    Who left the gait open ?????? !!!!!!!
  • DeadliftAddict
    DeadliftAddict Posts: 746 Member
    Last night my wife travelled about 80 miles to help my daughter pack up her apartment in preparation for moving. As my wife was walking up the walkway to the apartment building, a College student (male) walked ahead of her, opened the door, entered, and let it shut on my wife. My wife had a vacuum cleaner in one hand and a carpet cleaner in the other.

    I know the kid didn't do anything wrong, but, when my wife called last night and told me, it plssed me off.

    What happened to manners? Opening doors for other people? Giving up your seat to a woman or an older person? Standing when a woman enters the room?

    These are just common courtesies that we were raised to practice. Does showing courtesy and/or deference make me a Chauvinist?

    One thing that I have noticed over tha last few years is that when I open a door for someone and let them enter ahead of me, they are surprised. Is it that uncommon now?

    I'm a little dissappointed. People are so self-involved. Half the younger people I see these days have ear buds in and are looking down at their cell phone, texting. They don't even know what is going on around them. But, I guess, I prefer to thing that they are unaware than intentionally rude.

    It's not these college kids' fault that they are being oblivious to common courtesy. It's their parents' fault for not raising better citizens. I have a 12 and 16 year old, they've been taught to hold doors open, to say please and thank you, to make eye contact, to shake a hand with a firm grip, and to generally do to others as they'd have done unto them.

    I feel that with each passing generation, we lose a little bit more of our humanity.


    I'll drink to that!
  • aakaakaak
    aakaakaak Posts: 1,240 Member
    Who left the gait open ?????? !!!!!!!

    Did you intentionally spell it gait to mean the way someone walks? I'm curious as to the context.
  • bigphatcat
    bigphatcat Posts: 7,843 Member
    I think it goes the other way to. Last night I was leaving a restaurant and held the door for 2 women so they could enter. Both were so wrapped up in their conversation that neither one said Thank you. This happens a lot and makes me wonder why I'm being nice and holding the door for people that are unappreciative.

    This is one of the most infuriating things. Holding the door for somone isn't a big deal, but if I'm displaying common courtesy towards someone, it's nice if it's reciprocal.

    Here's rude for ya.
    A few weeks ago I was on my way into the staff canteen in work for lasagne for lunch. It's a self service / buffet type deal. I held the door open for 2 women and let them in ahead of me. They didn't acknowledge it.
    BUT
    It was quite late in lunch hour and there were only 4 pieces of lasagne left... there were 3 of us in the queue.
    They took 2 pieces each.
    Left me with none.
    Befoe anyone comes up with some ridiculously circuitous state of affairs whereby they had pre-aranged to get extra lasagne for their starving familes / donate it to charity / thought there was a fresh batch coming etc - this is not the case.
    They knew I was there for the same thing they were, they knew thee was no more to come and they cleaned it out.

    No good deed goes unpunished
  • Cindy311
    Cindy311 Posts: 780 Member
    I'm a door holder no matter the sex and if I get a thank you that's nice and if I don't well then I still did the right thing. Yesterday as I was walking to a door an elderly gentleman saw me coming and rushed to the door just to open it. I'm sorry, I was completely flattered by his actions and when I tried to hold the second door for him he ushered me through that one as well.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    One of many reasons I moved back to the South.
    I grew up in the Northeast and people held doors for each other. :grumble:

    I find that most people (not all) will hold the door. But what annoys me is when I hold a door for someone (sometimes even stopping and waiting) and can't even get a "thanks" out of them.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    One of many reasons I moved back to the South.
    I grew up in the Northeast and people held doors for each other. :grumble:

    I find that most people (not all) will hold the door. But what annoys me is when I hold a door for someone (sometimes even stopping and waiting) and can't even get a "thanks" out of them.

    Sounds like you didn't grow up in the Boston area then, because in 4 years there, I saw NONE of that except from tourists and transplants.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    I think it goes the other way to. Last night I was leaving a restaurant and held the door for 2 women so they could enter. Both were so wrapped up in their conversation that neither one said Thank you. This happens a lot and makes me wonder why I'm being nice and holding the door for people that are unappreciative.

    I find it funny when I hold the door for a couple of people, but then it turns into a chain, and I end up holding the door for 6 other people coming in behind them. At that point, I am thinking this has to stop somewhere. :laugh:

    It would be hilarious if you picked someone out of the group and just said, ok, tag in!
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    Remove "woman" from just about every statement and it's not chauvinism, but common courtesy.

    this.

    anyone walking with their hands full and someone can't be bothered to help is a *kitten*.

    I hold doors for people and I'm a woman- I appreciate when people hold doors for me- and I have no issue shooting a very sarcastic "thank for holding the door" to someone AFTER I get in the door by myself.
  • Otterluv
    Otterluv Posts: 9,083 Member
    I'm a student, and around many young adults, I can tell you that there is much holding doors open for people going on here (though it has nothing to do with gender, maybe I'm missing something?). The young'uns are just as likely to be polite as the older people. However, nobody stands when I enter a room. That would be a bit off-putting for me. Lots of "oh, please, don't get up!", etc. instead of the normal greetings of griping about the weather.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    One of many reasons I moved back to the South.
    I grew up in the Northeast and people held doors for each other. :grumble:

    I find that most people (not all) will hold the door. But what annoys me is when I hold a door for someone (sometimes even stopping and waiting) and can't even get a "thanks" out of them.

    Sounds like you didn't grow up in the Boston area then, because in 4 years there, I saw NONE of that except from tourists and transplants.
    Upstae and western NY mostly. But I had family all over the place.

    I spent a decent amount of time in Boston, but I couldn't tell you whether anyone ever held a door for me there.
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
    I hold the door for anyone but that is just the way I was raised.

    On a side note, I watched a lady berate the hell out of a kid this past week for holding the door open for her and gesturing to her to go ahead in front of him. After he kinda let the door close and was telling her he is sorry, as she opened the door for herself and was walking in, I smiled at him and told him he had nothing to be sorry for because some people in the world don't understand simple acts of kindness (made sure she heard me).
  • _SABOTEUR_
    _SABOTEUR_ Posts: 6,833 Member
    I open the door for both men and women.

    In your wife's situation, I would have opened the door because she was carrying stuff. Her sex wouldn't have come into it.

    I would give me seat up for an elderly person, but not for a woman. Unless she was pregnant.

    Being a woman doesn't men you need or want men to do things for you.

    In fact, I have a friend who would be pissed off if she thought a man was doing something out of courtesy just because she is a woman.
  • tempehforever
    tempehforever Posts: 183 Member
    Eh, I'm not a fan of guys who open doors specifically for women only. Why not open doors for EVERYONE who seems in need of help?

    If the kid had let the door shut on a guy with his hands full, would you still have been pissed? I think manners go both ways.

    Also, it's nice to have the door opened for me, but I don't love it when guys go WAY out of their way to do so. Like if he has to wait a full 15 seconds for me to get to the door while he just stands there waiting for me. Its inefficient and sort of weird. Is it THAT big of a deal that I happen to be female? (Of course, I always say thank you, regardless.)

    Again, its different if I'm carrying things or entering right behind someone--then it is nice. But that's because it's nice to be courteous to people in general, not because I'm female.
  • ItsMeGee3
    ItsMeGee3 Posts: 13,254 Member
    I can only say that I appreciate it when someone holds the door for me. I have 3 (grown) sons, they had better hold the door for a woman. If not, "Momma's gonna get ugly."
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    One of many reasons I moved back to the South.
    I grew up in the Northeast and people held doors for each other. :grumble:

    I find that most people (not all) will hold the door. But what annoys me is when I hold a door for someone (sometimes even stopping and waiting) and can't even get a "thanks" out of them.

    Sounds like you didn't grow up in the Boston area then, because in 4 years there, I saw NONE of that except from tourists and transplants.
    Upstae and western NY mostly. But I had family all over the place.

    I spent a decent amount of time in Boston, but I couldn't tell you whether anyone ever held a door for me there.

    Buffalo was an interesting place, which paired with Cooperstown is the sum of my experience with Upstate and western NY. Seems a completely different world from NYC and New England.

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